238 I’m Not Perfect
Leon could feel Ella’s presence right from the moment she stepped into the room. But the unbearable pain in his heart; which he was trying to numb with the glass of dry gin, made him frigid to her presence.
He didn’t want her to see him in his most vulnerable state. She was the only person capable of making him this weak and exposed.
If an enemy wanted to get to him, all they needed to do was recruit Ella, and she would easily finish him off.
He loved her so much that even if she lifted a weapon and hurt him, he would never raise a finger at her in retaliation.
Leon found it very difficult to get rid of all the agonizing words that kept replaying in his memory. The same tormenting questions kept bombarding his heart at all corners.
“Have I been treating my wife as a sex object? Has she stopped loving me because of my sex drive? Do I make a shitty husband that she now desires another man?”
Although Leon was tempted to look up and scrutinize Ella’s current expression, he resisted the urge. He decided to give her some space until she was in the right frame of mind to talk.
Ella on the other hand wanted Leon to say something to her. She was desperate to look into his eyes.
Deep down, she knew he was mad at her. But she decided that she was done accepting his cold treatment.
.....
Feeling the need to end the bitter silence between them, Ella walked up to Leon and sat close to him.
She stared at his bruised knuckle for a while and decided to attend to it first before saying anything to him.
She briefly left him and returned with a bowl of iced water and a small towel. She cautiously removed the drink from his hands without getting any negative reaction from him. Then, she knelt before him, dipped the towel into the iced water, took his hurt hand into hers, and carefully dabbed his injured knuckle.
“I’m sorry for all the nasty words I said earlier. I didn’t really mean all of them.” Ella said calmly as she attended to his injury. “I just wanted you to feel the pain I felt when you were not by my side. I wanted you to know how badly I was hurting.”
Leon remained silent but his heart was beginning to mend and warm up to her tender touch. He swallowed his saliva a couple of times but didn’t say anything to her.
“Baby,” Ella said even softer, earning a slight movement from Leon. She dropped the towel aside and placed her two hands into his.
“I know you’re mad at me right now. But we can’t stay mad at each other forever. We just have to let go and move on.”
Leon inhaled and exhaled before slowly lifting his head to look into his wife’s eyes.
Even though his stares were chilly and void of loving emotions. His previous hardened expression had softened a great deal.
“You said too many painful words, Ella. You hurt me deeply.” Leon’s low but deep nerve-wracking tone conveyed his ire.
“I wouldn’t have acted that way if you hadn’t abandoned me.” Ella removed her hands from his and stood while maintaining eye contact with him.
“I was angry and jealous watching you give your mum and sisters all the attention in the world without me. I desperately wanted only you by my side but you were not there for me. At the beach, I felt scared and vulnerable with so many drooling eyes. I didn’t feel entirely safe in the Richmond company. But I always feel safe with you.”
Tears rolled down Ella’s cheeks as she spoke.
“When your Uncle finally handed me over to you and I saw so much lust in your eyes, it enraged me. I was so angry that I wanted to hurt you using what you loved the most.”
Leon slowly stood and held her tenderly by her arms.
“And what do you think I love the most?” Leon gazed deeply into her watery eyes.
“Me! My body!” Ella shrugged as more tears flowed down her cheeks making her sniff intermittently.
Leon let out a brief chuckle at her response. Using his thumbs, he wiped away her tears.
Her confession about feeling only safe in his arms broke the chillness in his eyes. It made the tension in his body disperse.
Although he was tempted to embrace and soothe her in his arms, he decided against it. He wanted to look into her eyes and read all of her facial reactions as he reemphasized all that she meant to him.
“Ella, if your mission was to sting me with all those earlier tormenting words, then I must commend you because you did a great job at it.”
“You struck a deadly blow to my heart when you wished another man was your husband. I know I love sex a lot but, I care for you more than I care for myself. You’re everything to me and I love you from the bottom of my heart. I wish there was a way I could make my mum love you the way I do but I guess time would make the difference.”
Leon paused awhile and smiled when he saw Ella’s face was beginning to brighten up.
“My love, I want you to know that I’m not perfect. I am human and capable of a lot of mistakes. I’m sorry for hurting you and allowing my family do the same. If you don’t feel like going back to the house any longer, I’ll understand. If you also feel like distancing yourself away from every member of my family, I’ll also understand. If you feel like remaining in this hotel until we’re about to leave for the city, it’s perfectly fine by me.”
“Oh, Leon!” Ella threw herself into his arm and hugged him tightly.
“I just want my husband. I don’t want anything else but you. Stay with me and don’t ever leave me for anyone.”
Leon kissed the center of Ella’s head tenderly.
“I promise to stay with you, my love.”
Ella removed her head from his chest and showered his face with lots of kisses until their lips finally locked themselves in an intensely passionate kiss.
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