A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 7, Chapter 174: The Figure of the Saint and the Word of God

…The fierce battle between Caria and the flesh-looking beast made extreme noises in the darkness.

I was looking down at the battle between the two. The sight of blood and flesh flying around stained the remains of the corridor from the second floor of the Lord’s House, where the monster had just destroyed it. The view was quite good thanks to the fact that most of the walls had shattered. I felt shivers all over my body every time the cold wind stroked my cheeks.

My knees occasionally lost strength and my body trembled. My brain kept commanding my legs to be patient for a while, but it just didn’t work. I couldn’t stand upright, and it was difficult for me to walk. I even had to run up the stairs to get there while my body trembled.

What a strange feeling. I felt that something warned my body again.

My throat became lighter and my eyebrows raised with difficulty. It was not so luxurious to wish for elegance. However, I wanted to behave at least a little nicer than usual. It seemed that god would not forgive me anyway.

I could not say that my appearance looked good. After all, I had to carry my quivering legs to a place like this in order to push the blade against that monster, yes, against that meat-looking beast.

I knew that the best way to fight was to face the enemy head-on. A fight where we could engage directly while putting our lives on the line. How one fought bravely.

However, I couldn’t afford to fight that way with that monster. I felt apologetic since my body was not in a very good condition.

Still, I wanted to do something. Yes, something within my reach. Even if I couldn’t swing my sword, and even if my legs had no power to fight, I still wanted to move forward. With that in mind, I came right here, in this very spot.

…Yeah, it should be. It was supposed to be that way.

While exhaling cold air from the lungs, I put my foot on a part of the outside corridor that looked like the edge of a cliff. I caught the wind on my cheeks and said, while looking down at the monster fighting under my eyes.

「…So, how can I help them? 」

I spoke aloud to myself without realizing the presence that stood behind my back. No, I already knew who was there. I knew, but I did not accept it in my heart. I did not want to know whether it was true or not.

The person behind me slowly leaked its voice. A voice that gently touched the back of my ears, and I felt strangely familiar with it.

「That’s not for you to decide, Lugis. Those girls are rebels and pagans. They are unforgivable people. They are sin itself.」

When I turned my face slightly, I saw golden eyes, showing some emptiness and blinking in the corridor without light. The hair was of the same color as the eyes and swayed in the wind.

White skin and thin fingers, which looked so fragile that they could crumble by a single touch, shined brightly in the dark. This person’s appearance increased its meticulous details over the years.

Yes, an unmistakable appearance. Someone that I would never make a mistake in recognizing. My childhood friend and loved one…Ariene.

The smile that she showed off her cheeks looked adorable and innocent. Her swaying lips spun more words.

「Of course, salvation should be given to them too. But trials must also be given at the same time. Salvation will make sense only when they overcome that ordeal. Yes, that’s how it works, Lugis.」

I felt no stagnation in the words she spoke. Those words were flowing like a river. She made it seem as if she truly believed in her own words sincerely. There was no mistake about it. She was completely convinced that what she said was right. Ariene looked resolute. My eyebrows bounced unknowingly.

「…But, if they are sin, then I am sin too. If Caria and Filaret need trials, then I see no reason why I should avoid them.」

The sound of the swordplay echoing downstairs hit my ears. I naturally sighed when I watched Caria’s silver hair swaying in the battle.

My reply made sense. If they were sinners, then I was much guiltier. There was no way that I would be free of such accusations. It would be too unreasonable for me to accept that they were the only sinful ones.

I heard Ariene’s feet hitting the ground. Even her footsteps created a familiar atmosphere in my chest and nostalgia engulfed my heart.

「Yes, that’s right. You’re also a very, very sinful sinner, Lugis.」

From the footsteps to her voice, I knew that Ariene was slowly approaching me from behind. Although I narrowed my eyes, I kept my legs on the edge of the corridor and I did not move. My field of vision fluctuated slightly. The voice that fell on my ears reminded me of my childhood days.

What appeared in my eyes was my person along with Ariene and my caretaker Mrs. Ninz, laughing at the orphanage. It felt vivid as if it were right in front of me.

Ariene’s voice echoed right next to my back.

「But that’s why you can’t help them. Because you have your own trials, and they have theirs.」

I could see Ariene’s arms wrapping around my neck. I felt Ariene’s presence in the immediate vicinity of my back.

Was that so? Were all those words correct?

Ariene’s voice had a mysterious sound. A sound that naturally seized people’s mind with their own hands. My fingertips trembled a little. My legs that were hanging on the edge seemed to retreat to the back involuntarily. I could see Ariene’s thin white fingers right in front of me.

Ahh, what could I do? Why was I hesitating?

I always wanted this hand more than anything else in the world. Maybe this was the moment where I could finally reach her. The moment where I could finally reunite with the human named Ariene. My heart eagerly waited for this moment.

My heart slightly bounced in my chest. I felt Ariene’s body closer to mine.

「…And Lugis. It won’t mean anything even if you helped them. You will never win against that guardian beast. Encouraging yourself to win is no more than a waste.」

Ariene’s words were strangely cold as they sank into the back of my ears. She continued to speak with that tone.

「Because that beast was sent by God. It’s impossible for humans to win. It’s a waste of effort to try to win against that beast. All you have to do is pray and ask for salvation from God.」

On this very moment. Those words whispered right next to me, at a distance that I thought her lips would touch my ears. Her tone contained a contemptuous sound. It seemed as if she was praising that hideous monster.

Once again, my heart rang strongly.

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