Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!



At this point, I could be jumping the fucking gun a little too much but I'd rather it be that than anything else right now because I'm so fucking pissed off, I was smiling from ear to ear just to not rip these dumbasses' faces off:

"You see, even a grain of rice shouldn't get past me. So, are things going under the radar between you three or is there more to this than what's going on? You do know we have 24-hour surveillance and since we don't have a lot of people that had access to that, it'd be a fucking pain to check the footage since we were just about to drive away. If I don't hear a fucking confession right now—"

Then JJ cut me off in desperation as he shouted at the top of his lungs, "T-THEY WERE JUST G-GIVING US C-CIGARS AND SOME A-ALCOHOL A-AND THEY'D SOMETIMES ROLL IN WITH A FEW GIRLS TO HAVE F-FUN IN THEIR CAR! A-AND I-IN EXCHANGE, I-I-I… O-OH FUCK… FUCK… I-I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD— I-I'M SORRY, ALRIGHT?! I-I WAS JUST C-CASUALLY TALKING ABOUT MY SCHEDULE AND WHATNOT SO WE COULD HANG A FEW TIMES A-AND I-IT'S BEEN REALLY FUN I-I'D EVEN CALL OVER TO S-SIR RICO'S CAMP T-TO LET THEM THROUGH S-SO— F-FUCK, I-I'M REALLY DEAD, AREN'T I?!"

He wasn't even able to finish his sentence when one of the dudes tried to shut him up with a weak shoulder bump but after just hearing that short bit, I'd already heard enough as I let out a smile and pulled out my radio:

-

*bzzt*

"This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a fucking drill. Commence Project Lockdown in ten fucking seconds because there's a fucking breach. If any of you are fucking involved with these three fucking clowns right now, 'fess up for a chance of me forgiving you— but with a small punishment or else I'LL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN AND THREE GENERATIONS OF YOUR FAMILY! Right, bonus rewards for those who could point out the ones involved but we'll fucking kick you out if we found out you lied— so don't even try getting something from this 'cause I'm way more than pissed off…"

At this point, JJ was just a fucking mess and one of the two was about to have a heart attack while the other looked like he was just waiting for a chance to speak but his knees couldn't stop trembling regardless of what ace he had in his sleeves.

But yeah, it didn't take long before seven dudes and a dudette came up from the side and looked nervous as fuck before they revealed themselves to be one of the guards who let these two fucks in like JJ without following proper protocol. Almost all of them had said the same thing as JJ did, but one of them had a different reason for doing what he did:

"Ah— I'm really s-sorry, sir— a-and I'll accept any p-punishment as long as you don't throw me and my f-family out b-but you see… W-We just g-got here a m-month ago t-through an interview w-with Ma'am Marisha a-and I just followed what everyone else here does an I thought i-it was a normal thing—"

I rolled my eyes as I cut him off, "So, you mean to tell me that if all the guards here started to take drugs while on duty or slice off a finger every time they're late, you'd do it? Is that what you're telling me?"

"T-That's… I-I just didn't want any trouble b-because I'm new and I-I should follow o-orders—"

"Hold up, orders? Did you just say orders?"

"Y-Yes, sir?"

"From who?"

The guy shook his head, "I-I'm not exactly sure b-but—"

"What's there to not be sure about? Was the person who ordered you to let them in wearing a mask? Was it a burning bush? What? Your name's Mikey, right? You do know that I'm a very good friend and also a very terrifying enemy so let me help you here: You and your family's safety now lies in your testimony—contingent on how accurate it is—and right now, I'm feeling that you're getting pressured to omit some stuff. But here's the deal: Who are you gonna side with? Me, or those fucks who landed you in this situation in the first place?"

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