Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!



Without batting an eye, Elsa just nodded her head vehemently like an 8-year-old since my offer was like the candy kids would receive after a visit to a doctor which she technically did. In any case, we left Mauro to the doc while a few came back with us to the slaughterhouse or went back to the petting area or to the smokehouse.

When we arrived, half of the cow was still hanging in the same place but I asked my "disciples" to examine the cut Elsa made.

JP made the first comment, "How's your blade?"

"What do you mean?"

"No chips, bends, or anything?"

I chuckled, "I would already be hauling my ass back to Japan if that ever happens. It'll take a lot more than chopping that cow in half but you gotta have the arm strength for it because after it takes on the force you put on it, it'll transfer back almost the same thing when it meets ample resistance. That's why even though the technique is important, you gotta be able to handle it too…"

Elsa cut in sarcastically, "Well, I'm sorry for being weak…"

"I'm not saying that—"

"You actually did, back at the vet clinic…"

"Yes, I did… But now, upon closer inspection… it's half and half and you were a little bit unlucky…"

"Hmm?" Everyone else said as they turned to me.

"Oh, come on! As much as I love hearing the sound of my own voice, you gotta figure some shit out on your own!"

As I said that, my disciples went back to examining the scene of the crime along with Sebastian, Elsa, Kaley, and Megan but our butler was the one who gave the correct answer.

"I think… Hmm~ I think the lady pulled her hand inward and aimed at an inopportune angle."

I threw Sebastian an approving look, "Ten points to Slytherin! Adding what I said in the clinic and what you said is probably it."

JP and a few others scrunched their brows, "How so?"

"Well~ all of you weren't here when it happened but as I remembered, Elsa was standing— yeah, before that… Where do you think she was standing?"

Isaac answered, "Just from looking at the angle of the first cut, probably between the right(?) side of the cow and its spine?"

JP nodded, "I'm thinking of the same thing too."

Seb followed, "I'm thinking a little bit laterally but it wouldn't make much of a difference—"

"Actually… every degree of adjustment would make a LOT of difference. You three are about the same height but Elsa here is a few inches lower than—"

Isaac looked at me weirdly, "Bro, we're the same—"

"Heels, bro, heels… Even wearing that made her posture a little bit more forward than normal. It's not stilettos but as I said earlier a little bit could change a lot of things, especially at the angles we're coming from."

"I see…"

"But to answer the question she was standing at this spot earlier," I said as I pointed at the right side of the cow, "Her aim earlier was to cut into the spine and run it straight through its ribcage but if you all could bend a little and see those little nubs of bone sticking out—that weren't cut clean—that's the place where Elsa got injured…"

"Oh…"

Then I turned to Elsa, "Tell me, you haven't used an actual katana in your life, right? Probably rapiers or thin-bladed stuff that Mr. Cuervo had… That's why you opted for the Jian…"

Elsa nodded a few times with amazement, "Y-Yeah… How'd you know?"

"I just do, heh."

"That didn't explain a whole lot…"

"It's just from seeing the technique you're using. You had the right intentions and the posture of a proper slash, but your actual discipline took over at the last second. It's difficult to switch techniques as if you're flipping a switch but you actually did well on your first try."

"F-For real?! You serious?!"

"Yep. But if you did this," I said as I casually sliced a thin piece of the meat with one hand and without injuring myself, "It would be much, much better."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Because what you did is this," I said again as I casually copied her "mistake" but got out scot-free also with one hand, "Wait, why doesn't it hurt? Let me try—"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"There! I felt a slight tweak there… If you did that, it'll be really~ bad as what happened right now but if you did what I did earlier, it'll be—"

Elsa cut in while wearing a mix of emotions, "Y-You… You're messing with me now, aren't you?"

"What? I'm not, this is an actual lesson now and I'm being genuine here—"

"B-But you didn't even cut it using both hands! How's that a lesson?!"

"Right. Just a sec—"

Within a matter of seconds, we had several perfectly cut "beef" chops on the floor covers and it looked like Elsa was about to quit learning the sword then and there. However, Isaac and the rest couldn't believe their eyes while Sebastian was already rolling in a fresh cow that needed to be taught a lesson.

"What's that for?"

"Please… We'd save a lot of gas if you just cut this from nose to tail…"

"Sure," I casually shrugged my shoulders as I walked in front of it and cut it in half, lengthwise, not diagonally.

"..."

"..."

"..."

For some reason, I was always met with silence every time I did that but Sebastian took it upon himself to roll over the whole cows that weren't cut in half or in any other pieces yet so that their labor force could focus their attention elsewhere.

I didn't even think that I was hoodwinked into doing manual labor but I enjoyed cutting things cleanly as much as the next guy but everyone else's mouth was agape for the continuous cutting session.

And sure a full carcass or a half-carcass could still be dry-aged but it's a fucking bitch to transport them without the proper tools.

But yeah, my disciples were given their turns but none of them came close to doing what Elsa did. Sure, Isaac easily cut into the meat halfway through but he knows when and where to bail out to avoid any injury.

Because what's the point of going that far if that's the last place you could go to?

In any case, another fight almost started when Elsa knelt in front of me to ask for her to be my disciple and Mauro came in at the wrong angle—obviously thinking that his wife was sucking me off in front of all these people—but Elsa shut it down because she took down Mauro with a paperweight, how much more can she do with actual blades?

"I-I'm sorry… Jumping to conclusions is a bad habit of mine…"

"You think?"

"I said, I'm sorry…"

Then Elsa turned to me after rolling her eyes at her husband, "So, what do you think I should do for my body to take such force? Just my forearms?"

I thought for a bit while looking at her physique, "Hmm~ I'm actually a fan of training your whole body at least twice a week but aside from that and daily cardio, this is gonna sound dumb but you can either practice the movement swing with a weighted stick or you know… just chop wood."

"C-Chop wood?"

Mauro interjected, "That's a novel idea, actually…"

"Actually though… do you guys have a gym here?"

Sebastian answered, "Unfortunately we don't… But farm work and you know… chopping wood is enough for almost everybody…"

Mauro then had a thought, "FUCK!"

"What is it now?"

"I should've asked you guys to bring my power rack, a couple of bars, my yoke, and a few dozen plates at least… I can't believe I fucking forgot about that… Doing just bodyweight exercises is too boring for me…"

"Can't you just deadlift a car?"

"Yeah?"

"Then stick a couple of metal rods in 'em and go ham. Elevate them a bit if you want to do some heavy shoulder presses."

"Dude… Where have you been all my life? Jackie's the one who's— no, just thanks man…"

I shook my head as I chuckled, "You can also pour cement on a mold but it chips when you slam them down so I'd prefer for you to do the former…"

"Right… Right… I'mma give someone a call real quick…"

Then I turned to Sebastian, "That reminds me, it would be a pleasure of mine to help around while we're here and the cadets, especially my disciples here would greatly appreciate it if you'd give them most of the heavy work to give your workers a little bit of a break."

"Are you sure about that?" Sebastian was holding back his reaction from hearing that statement.

"Yep. Give 'em hell…"

"Very well…"

As soon as we shook hands, the two of us just shared a wicked smile that sent shivers down their spines but after everything was resolved, Kaley pulled me to where the others were.

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