God of Rogues nodded. "One can't just come up with that, right?" He leaned back in a pretense of relaxation, but his eyes kept watching God of Bards' reactions. Did this keen interest come from the fascination of the new topic, or familiarity of the old one? Did that lack of surprise or shock from disbelief, or from the pre-existing knowledge?
"Unbelievable." God of Bards finally shook his head. "Indeed, I agree with you, Rogues. There must be at least some grain of truth behind this all. But why could that happen? Why would our creator send forth a creature whose only drive and purpose is destruction of life?"
"I've asked myself the same, and found no answers… The only thing I could think of was that if someone can have a better idea, it's you, Bards." God of Rogues smiled. "The two of us have a mind for some good-natured intrigue—"
"Unlike these blockheads that consider themselves the best among us. Ugh, especially Paladins!" God of Bards made a grimace and waved his hand in the air, as if dispersing a stink. "Him and his preaching. If he heard this, he'd take this as an opportunity to go for a holy crusade he wanted for the longest time. Ha, trying to destroy all demons and close Hell—and where would he bring the dead souls to? Heaven?"
"At least everyone else sees how ridiculous the idea is… Well, we can talk a long while about our shared dislike of Paladins, Bards, but this would be a waste of time. Now, after we are done with Devourer…"
"Right, right, Devourer. But, friend, I understand as much as you do. Why would the First risk everything he created us to protect just to come around, and of all things, make him? What plan could he have that we are too small-minded to understand?"
"I think to find out we should take a page from Wizards' book and try to go from the beginning. The very beginning, which is something I found in Hell, too," God of Rogues started, now genuinely interested in how far would God of Bards go from there, with his help. "There, Devourer grew in power and influence amongst demons, until even we took notice. Speaking of, remind me, who did that? I don't remember when I ever checked on Hell before Devourer came."
God of Bards hummed thoughtfully. "I wonder. Let me see… Paladins was the most alarmed—well, of course he was—and Wizards was curious about hows and whys, but that also was after… Wasn't that Clerics? I think she descended here to give some of her flock a tour so they would have more desire to join the Guild. Or at least, sin less."
God of Rogues frowned and ruffled through his memory. "Oh yes, I remember that. Hmm… Weren't you the one who gave her an idea? Think you wanted to write a poem about it, then spread it in the mortal realm for additional spread of the knowledge. Where did that go, by the way?"
"It's in process. I was a bit distracted… And my inspiration was in shatters, as was the stability of my nerves. Truly!" God of Bards raised the back of his hand to the forehead and lifted his eyes with a tortured expression. "So many projects this fiend buried!"
"You should've just commissioned it to one of your angels."
"But it has to be per-fect. No less is allowed, not when it's an art of the divine." Suddenly, God of Bards perked up in his chair with an expression of enlightening on his face. "Yes! This is how it will be called. 'Divine Comedy'!"
"Alright, I understand the divine part—but what comedic there is in Hell?"
God of Bards smiled condescendingly. "My friend, and this is one of the moments when I remember so sharply our differences, one of which is our way about arts. You only care how much one piece or another costs, and even that out of curiosity. You don't know about them as much as I do, or as much as I believe it would be better for you to."
God of Rogues rolled his eyes. "I thought for a moment that God of Paladins teleported into our room. The preaching, it's just the same."
The artist deity clicked his tongue. "Fine, fine. I will just tell you the answer you sought. You see, in the modern distinction of genres, comedy is not a funny story, but a story that ends well for its protagonist. Humour is optional. Since in the 'Divine Comedy' the protagonist, guided by Goddess of Clerics, shall escape Hell and go to Heaven at the end of his wretched life, it ends the best it could for him."
"Of course, the story ends before said protagonist finds out that he's now the lowest of the angels, bound to the desk in the Heavenly Judgement, and will now listen to the stories of the dead, condemning kind and evil to Hell indiscriminately, until his soul give out on him." God of Rogues chuckled. "Now this is what I think to be the true comedy here."
God of Bards nodded, smirking. "Yes, that too. But this… additional epilogue will be not for publication. But we were talking about Devourer. His motives… Power, wasn't it? He seeks power, and in doing so, devours everything, as his name states. It was only a matter of time until Hell would've become too small for it—in that I agree with our clergy. He should've been stopped before he became too dangerous. It seems like we weren't as well in that as we should've been…"
"I can't wonder but think if this is truly it. Devourer is sentient—maybe diplomacy was an option… Well, it's a moot point now.." God of Rogues smirked. "I suppose we will never know now, and the First's involvement is still a mystery… I don't have to tell you to not spread this around, am I? Until we know more…"
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