Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 189 - 188 - Prelude To The Storm

The following night, I was at my place, along with Rai, Key and Az. Persia and Mika too, but I don't need to point that out since this is where they live, though Mika had gone to sleep since she was tired after training. Anyway, Bronztan had recently started producing vials of various serums and potions, and they'd begun exporting those products here too.

Rai had bought a bunch of them after the others got back from playing the king's game in the forest area, but since he'd been stoned, he bought way more than he needed to, so he called me and suggested sharing them. I had nothing better to do, and he piqued my interest when he told me what some of the serums effects were, so I figured, why not?

After Mika moved in with Persia and I, we decided to temporarily stop smoking in here, but these should be fine. At least, I hope so. Today had been a pretty tiring day, i spent the morning in the forest area playing that game, then I got back and trained Mika in the afternoon and early evening, and...okay, so that's about it, but it was more tiring than it sounds.

"So, what do these do?" Inquired Persia curiously, picking up one of the vials and reading the label, "It says...'Giggle Juice'."

"If you drink the contents of one of these vials, it'll have a certain effect on you, which fades after about a couple of minutes or so. These were made purely for recreational purposes, and are apparently pretty harmless!" Rai explained with a look of excitement.

I picked up another of the vials and read the label...huh, this one is called 'Squeak Juice'. And now that I'm taking a look, they're all labeled '"Something" Juice'.

"So, why'd they make these things anyway?" I asked, putting the vial back onto the table.

"I don't know for sure, but from what I heard, the princess made them as a sort of pet project...they're really popular in Bronztan."

Should have figured, she was the one who recreated The Valaque Empire's truth serum, after all, so she's clearly pretty good at this stuff.

"Couldn't this wait till tomorrow?" Sighed Az, letting out a wide yawn and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh...well, sure, but hey, no time like the present, am I right?" Responded Rai with a shrug.

"You're so exhausting."

"Since we're all here, we might as well try these," Said Persia, looking over the vials.

"So, do we all drink from one of these things or what?" Inquired Key, picking one up and reading the label.

"Ooh, how about this? We each take turns drinking from a randomly picked vial, and the next person drinks after the effects wear off for the previous person, how's that?" Suggested Rai eagerly.

"Not everything has to be a game, you know," Remarked Az lethargically.

"But it's more fun that way!" Protested Rai.

Since there were no other voices of opposition, we just went with that suggestion of his.

"Okay, so who goes first?" I inquired, looking around.

"I wanna go first!" Volunteered Rai immediately, "Let's go in a clockwise order. And during each person's turn, they should close their eyes and grab a random vial without looking! Oh, and these things have alcohol in them too, so even once the gimmick effects wear off, the alcoholic effects will work as normal!"

Alcohol, huh...each of these vials held about the same amount of liquid as a shot glass does. Guess this explains why these things are so popular, they have fancy effects on you plus they get you drunk. Anyway, as Rai closed his eyes and reached out for a vial, his tail swaying in anticipation, he suddenly let out a startled yelp as Pero pounced on his tail and wrestled with it, playfully biting it while holding between her front legs and kicking it with her hind legs.

She was pretty much fully grown now, and wasn't as playful as she was as a kitten, but every so often, she got a burst of energy and zoomed around the place till she tired herself out. Looks like that was happening right now. As Rai turned around and opened his eyes, she sprang away and zipped into my bedroom, from which a loud crash echoed out...I think she knocked over one of my Light or Cooling Crystals...

"Hey, uh...is your cat okay?" Inquired Key with a look of bemusement.

"Yeah, she gets like this sometimes," Sighed Persia, as I entered Soul-Eater Mode and used Quintuple to make a copy of myself to go to my room and check out the damage.

"It's actually a good thing when she does it at a time like this, it's better than if she does it while we're sleeping...which happens more often than I care to mention," I added with a wry smile.

"Sounds like a lot of work, frogs are way easier to take care of," Chimed in Az.

I sure am glad that I got over that phobia...though it was kind of a moot point since The Valaque Empire was destroyed before it could use that weakness against me. And while I may not be afraid of them anymore, I still didn't like them...I'd probably celebrate if they went extinct.

"I won't argue on that, but while cats can be pretty chaotic, you just can't get mad at them. Plus it feels really rewarding when they do stuff like walk over to you and ask you to pet them or flop down and sleep on your arm!" I argued.

"Yeah, and when they rub their faces on you, it just melts your heart!" Added Persia with a smile.

"I had a cat and a dog in my old world, pets are great, maybe I should get one...what do you think, Key-Key?" Suggested Rai with a glint in his eye.

"I don't think so, your room is always messy and you do a lousy job of taking care of yourself most of the time, so you're not suited to own a pet...maybe when you're older," She replied firmly.

"Whaaat? But I want one now!"

"...you guys sound like a strict mom and her whiny kid right now," I remarked with a laugh.

"I was thinking the same thing," Giggled Persia in agreement, while Az stifled his laughter.

"...you know what, I think that's actually kinda...hot. Hey, babe...can I call you mommy sometimes?" Requested Rai with a gleam in his eyes.

I try not to judge people's preferences and kinks, but...really?

"Wh-what!? A-absolutely not, y-you idiot!" She replied with a look of horror.

"Hey, that's no fair, I let you call me dadd- mfph!" He began, before she leaned over and covered his mouth in alarm so quickly that I'm pretty sure that, based on her expression, she'd pulled a muscle in her back.

"Ow...w-well, anyway, wh-why don't we get back to the game, everyone?" Key suggested with a forced smile.

Huh, while all that had been happening, looks like Pero had run out of steam. My copy returned and rejoined with me, after which we got back to the game. Rai closed his eyes and picked up a vial labeled 'Sad Juice'...huh, wonder what that does. He popped it open and chugged it down in a single gulp.

"Huh, that tastes kinda strange, and there's more alcohol that I th-...," He began, before trailing off as tears formed in his eyes, "Kuro...I just...I just realized something."

Is the effect already working?

"Oh, uh...what is it?" I asked him curiously.

"This world...recycling doesn't exist...so that means...when disposable things are used up, that's it for them...end of the road, man, never to be used again," He replied with a miserable expression, before the tears started streaming down his face, "Think of all the plastic that'll never be recycled, dude!"

...this is amazing.

"Plastic doesn't exist in this world yet though," I pointed out.

"Oh, right...it...it doesn't even exist...but maybe that's a good thing, because if it did exist then...then it'd never get recycled! It'd just...just get thrown out...like disposable trash!"

...there's a lot of plastic products that are literally disposable trash though...I wonder what would happen if I pointed that out...

"In our old worlds, most plastic stuff were-."

"Huh? Wait, why was I so emotional? Woah, holy crap, was that the effect of this serum?" He suddenly remarked, snapping out of it with a look of surprise.

It faded already? I thought he said it'd last for a couple of minutes.

"Hey, that wore off faster than you said it would," Pointed out Persia, looking a bit disappointed...guess she'd enjoyed that too.

"Hm? No, I said the effects only last for a few seconds, didn't I? I think it's like half a minute, or a bit less."

He almost definitely said ' a couple of minutes' before, but it wasn't anything unusual for him to mis-speak, especially since he's not fully sober. Anyway, going by a clockwise rotation, Az was next after Rai.

"After what just happened, I'm not too thrilled about this...," He sighed, before reluctantly reaching out for a vial with his eyes closed and drinking it.

He gulped it down and set the vial back on the table. Let's see...this one's called 'Bass Juice'. I have no idea what that could possibly mean.

"Well? Do you feel any different?" Asked Key curiously.

"No, I don't feel-...," He began, before trailing off as his voice came out several times deeper...ohhh, bass as in the instrument, now I get it.

Why pick that name though, that dumb princess, doesn't she realize that only Reincarnators would understand what it means?

"Woah, you sounded badass just then! Talk again!" Urged Rai, shaking Az's shoulder enthusiastically.

Unfortunately, Az remained tight-lipped till the effects wore off, so we had to move on.

"You could have spoken a little bit, you know," I remarked with a grin.

"Yeah, no," He replied immediately.

"Okay, new rule! No hiding the effect just because it's embarrassing! You're next, Kuro!"

"Right-...huh, guess I'll have to suppress my Healing Factor first," I said, before closing my eyes and reaching for a vial after suppressing my Healing Factor, "Okay, here goes..."

I drank the contents of the vial, and then opened my eyes and looked at the label...looks like I picked the Giggle Juice vial, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what this one does-.

"Hahaha...this is...haha...really...hahaha...annoying!" I laughed, literally uncontrollably, "Damn...hahaha...it...haha...it's hard to...hahaha...breathe!"

"Yes, I'm not the only one who cried because of these vials!" Exclaimed Rai triumphantly.

Wha-...oh, I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face...screw this, Healing Factor, do your thing! I let out a sigh of relief as I finally stopped laughing...I can breathe again.

"That wore off faster than it did for Rai," Remarked Persia suspiciously, staring at me with narrowed eyes.

"Did it? Well, we didn't time it, so we can't know for sure...anyway, it's your turn now!"

"...yeah, you definitely used your Healing Factor, but fine...it did look like you were having trouble breathing, after all," She replied with a sigh, before closing her eyes and reaching for a vial.

She picked one that was labeled 'Queen Juice'...some of these sure had some weird names, huh. Wonder what this one does.

"Do you feel any different?" Inquired Key with a look of intrigue, having also seen the label.

"No, I-...," She started to reply, before trailing off and adding with a condescending expression, "Hey, I never gave you permission to address me so casually! Hmph, I'm thirsty, go get me some water!"

Well, now...

"I don't think I like this effect," Frowned Key, as Persia stared down at her arrogantly.

"So this one gives you a superiority complex, huh? Interesting," I remarked, poking Persia's cheek and earning a glare from her.

"Don't touch me so familiarly!" She scoffed, standing up and planting her foot on my face.

"Sure, but could you take your foot off, please?"

"Huh!? You should be grateful that I'm stepping on you, pig!"

...had to agree with Key, I don't like this effect either.

"I'm not into foot stuff though."

"I don't recall asking!"

"Queen Juice, huh...this seems more dominatrix than queen," Laughed Rai, before flinching as Persia glared at him and Az.

"What are you two looking at, huh!? Why don't you go f-...!" She began to suggest, before her expression suddenly returned to normal and her face turned red, "Wh-what the hell was I doing!? That was horrible..."

"Good, it wore off...so, now can you take your foot off my face, Cat Girl?"

"Huh? Crap, sorry, Kuro! I didn't know what I was doing, even though it felt like I was normal for the most part...that was really weird," She said with a baffled look, as she sat back down with her forehead scrunched up.

"Yeah, when I got all sad, it didn't feel like it was being forced, it felt like I was naturally sad...and then I just snapped back to normal like nothing happened. These things are crazy," Chimed in Rai, looking at the vials with a glint in his eyes, "Your turn, Key-Key, hope you get a good one!"

"I'd prefer one like what Azyl and Kuro got over what you two got," She replied with a sigh, before closing her eyes and reaching for the table, picking a vial labeled...'Love Juice'.

She gulped it down and opened her eyes, before a seductive smile spread out on her lips as she looked at Rai.

"Wh-what is it, babe?" He said nervously, as she stood up and walked over to him.

"You're just...you're just so cute!" She squealed, plopping down onto his lap and rubbing her cheek against his, "I wuv you so much!"

...I wish I could record this.

"H-hey, calm down, you know that you don't like to be affectionate when we're not alone!" Rai stuttered, his face turning red.

It wasn't often that we got to see him flustered like this, so the remaining three of us were watching this with great interest...I could use some popcorn.

"But...I can't help it...I wanna hug you and kiss you and play with your tail, I know you like that, and-...," She started excitedly, before trailing off and staring up at him with puppy-dog eyes, "...b-but, if you don't want me to, then I'll stop..."

"C-crap, my heart...no, don't stop, do whatever you want, Key-Key!" He replied emotionally.

...okay, now it's starting to get weird.

"Aww, I love it when you call me that!"

"R-really, you do!?"

"Of course I-...," She began with a sweet smile, before her expression turned into one of horrified embarrassment...looks like the effect wore off.

"Hm? What's wrong, babe?"

"I...I need to forget this!" She exclaimed in horror, her face bright red as she stood up and walked over to the wall.

Rai hurried over and restrained her before she could hit her head against it...it took him a while to calm her down, and even then, she looked more than a little mortified.

"That was creepy...I've known you practically all my life and I've never seen you smile, squeal and giggle like that before," Remarked Az, his shoulders shaking as he struggled to hold back his laughter as she glared at him red-faced.

"Hey, I thought it was super adorable!" Argued Rai indignantly.

"Forget everything I did and said, I'm begging you," She muttered in a tone of dismay.

"But it was so cute! The way you said 'I wuv you' was just so-!"

"Ahhhhh, shut up, don't repeat any of it!"

"I know, let's start another round, if more embarrassing stuff happens to the rest of us, then your embarrassment will get buried!"

"No way. I could easily end up getting an even more embarrassing one, I'm out," She refused immediately, without a shred of hesitation.

"Yeah, I'm out too," Agreed Persia, "I did not like the effects of the one I drank."

"Me too, I got lucky in the first round with a vial that didn't change my personality, and I'd rather not chance my luck again," Added Az warily.

"Majority rules in favor of ending the game...but since you did buy all these and brought them here because you got too many, we'll split them evenly," I suggested, giving Rai a pat on the shoulder as a massive look of disappointment appeared on his face.

"Aw, man, and I was really getting into it too," He said with a disappointed sigh.

Yeah, it had been kinda fun, but considering how much the others had been embarrassed, I probably wouldn't be able to get away with using my Healing Factor again if I pick something with an embarrassing effect. And besides, I'm kinda tired, might as well turn in earl-...suddenly, as I blinked, a static-like noise echoed around me, as my vision...glitched? What the...?

"Is something wrong, Kuro?" Asked Persia with a look of concern.

None of the others heard it? Was it my imagination again? What's going on?

"No, it's nothing, I just thought I heard someth-," I began to reply, when suddenly, someone knocked on the front door, "Huh, who could it be this late?"

"What do you mean, dude?" Inquired Rai with a look of confusion as I stood up.

"Huh? Didn't you hear the knock on the door?"

"What, you mean like right now? No, I didn't," He replied with a shake of his head.

"I didn't hear anything either," Added Key, raising an eyebrow.

"You sure you're okay?" Asked Az with furrowed brows.

I then heard the knock again, there was no mistaking it...but the others didn't react at all. They weren't just pretending either, for one thing, there's no way Rai could act convincingly enough to fool me.

"Kuro? You look confused," Said Persia, walking over to me and placing a hand on my forehead, "Hm, you don't seem to have a fever or anything."

"Well, yeah, I don't think I can even get sick with my Healing Factor. I don't know what's going on here, but I'm going to go open the door, I can definitely hear someone knocking, and pretty loudly at that...you guys stand back," I replied, before heading for the door cautiously, channeling Mana into my hand just in case.

I grabbed the door handle and hesitantly twisted it down and opened the door...what the...? There was nothing there. And suddenly, that static sounded out again, as the area in front of me shimmered sharply like a video game glitching...what is this, what the hell is going on here!?

"Hey, is someone there, *static*-iro?" Inquired Key, static partially interrupting her as she said my name-....no, wait, what did she just call me?

I turned around towards the others, and as I blinked and opened my eyes...they weren't there. And neither was my living room. All around me, was nothing but bright white as far as the eye could see...

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