Exclusive Rights to An Online Voice Actor

Chapter 60

TLC: Lilies

Editing: Whiteflare

The man did not show the joy he should have felt, and his expression soured instead. “Qi Jing, you’re not making excuses. Are you?”

At that moment, Qi Jing looked up at him, the scorn in his eyes like a heavy blow to the man’s competitive nature. Then, all of sudden, the corners of his lips curled up in a smile, “It’s inconvenient for me to move around and I have no phone on me—perhaps you’re afraid that I’ll dig a hole in the wall to escape? Is it that you think too highly of me or do you have too little confidence in yourself?”

It’s that last line that was crucial.

It was in a man’s nature to be harsh when facing obstinacy, but respond with lenience to compliance. Qi Jing seemed to have lost his previous edge, so the man didn’t need to do anything that would end up detrimental to both of them.

Running into Qi Jing was a surprise, and hearing the contempt the former held for him was even more of a surprise—that accumulation of surprises was enough to spark the man’s desire to conquer.

“Well then, go ahead.” There was no need to worry; either way, he had plenty of time. Besides, pushing the other party too far wouldn’t do him any good.

“I’m more surprised by how much you’ve changed... You don’t feel grossed out by men’s bodies anymore?” At that moment, Qi Jing laughed once again, neither coldness nor warmth discernible from his expression.

The man froze.

Although he was in a relationship with Qi Jing for some time back in college, he still felt repulsed by male bodies. Whenever they would touch each other, he would make sure to avoid touching any part that would remind him that his partner was a man. He had only been able to feel good when closing his eyes, imagining that he was touching a woman. When he watched a couple of GVs out of curiosity, he ended up retching before he even finished watching.

Hence, he thought to himself—he still should count as a normal person; if it was just surface-level stuff limited to simple body contact, then it shouldn’t be considered “abnormal”.

Fortunately, Qi Jing was someone who was easily content. At that time, he could make do with a single hug for a couple of days, and whenever the man was in a good mood, there was also no harm in kissing him every once in a while. After all, seeing that guy cover his flushing ears made him feel quite smug in his heart.

But now, the Qi Jing before him wasn’t the same anymore—he was like a block of ice.Yet the man firmly believed that tearing down that pretense, he would still find that naivety and softness inside—the Qi Jing he could easily hold in the palm of his hand.

“People can change.” That was how the man explained his change of mind.

After all these years of marriage, it was finally the time for the seven year itch to kick in. Since the birth of their child, his wife had become less affectionate with him; so just like some of his fellow male colleagues, the normal family life started seeming too monotonous to him, tedious even, so he couldn’t help but let his imagination go wild.

Perhaps it was the high time to seek some novelty, some new stimulation.

Qi Jing kept silent, but after listening to that, he repeated slowly with a vague sneer on his face, “Indeed, it seems like people do change.”

“Of course, it’s only because it’s you we’re talking about. You’re different.” The man added quickly. He couldn’t comprehend the meaning behind Qi Jing’s expression, but he didn’t forget to say something he thought to be pretty thoughtful, that way he could please the other man while concealing his true thoughts. No matter if it was for the past or present, one thing he was never stingy with was cajolery.

Qi Jing didn’t respond, only jerking his hand coldly away. The man hesitated for a moment, then let go slowly. Under his watchful eye, Qi Jing strode towards the entrance of the bathroom and expressionlessly slammed the door upon entering.

The moment the door was shut, his first action was to push the button on the door knob, locking himself in, away from the man outside. After pushing it, he leaned stiffly against the door, gasping deeply as if he was about to drown. He didn’t even know whether it was because of rage, or something else, but his fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. Forcing himself to maintain clarity of mind, he quickly twisted the knob behind him to ensure that it was properly locked; only then, did he stagger a few steps ahead and wearily sit on the edge of the bathtub.

“Kekeke...” He didn’t know why he was laughing, and in such an awful voice, too.

He hung down his head dispiritedly and looked at the floor. Those white and cold ceramic tiles made him think of numerous things from the past.

Such as the bride’s pure white dress at the wedding. He still remembered each word of the blessings he recited, that serene but happy smile of the woman. She was a good woman, too good for that man.

Such as the emptiness of the ward he stayed in after the car accident. Now, the feeling inside of his throat felt exactly like when he was swallowing the rice back in the hospital, each swallow painful, agonizing. He could feel his stomach start to churn, as if it was being hollowed by something, but he didn’t feel like eating anything—rather, he felt an urge to retch.

It wasn’t as if he was about to die, yet those bits of memories started flashing by like passing lights, validating that his past seemed to have suddenly become completely worthless.

Or perhaps... it could be said that he did indeed die.

At least something inside him got a definite burial. Despite the gloominess of its “funeral”, he was glad that he ultimately attained liberation, thank goodness that he only kept alive a sliver of trust in this man—this man who treated that trust like trash.

Qi Jing lifted his head slowly and looked at the bathroom’s huge mirror. His complexion was ashen and it wasn’t because of the bright light coming from the lamp&#k2014;it was quite admirable that the man could produce those kinds of lecherous thoughts while looking at a face this appalling. He gave a cold, mocking snicker&#k2014;laughing at the man, yet also at himself. Then, the corners of his mouth turned back down, resuming that expressionless state.

He looked at the watch; it was already past 7PM.

He sat in this place where there was really no way for him to chisel a hole through the wall and make a break for it, but as long as that man was lax enough to let him lock himself in the bathroom, he got all the time he needed to bide his time.

From time to time, he could hear the man pacing back and forth outside the bathroom, as well as his patience slipping away.

Qi Jing waited for around ten minutes before he turned on the faucet in the bathtub and allowed the shower to start spraying water, so that the other wouldn’t get suspicious. In a moment, the bathroom filled with the sound of flowing water.

The vent fan was on.

From his position, he could feel the chilling air passing through the crack in the door, slipping into his trouser legs, a faint chill slowly creeping up his legs; yet his back was assailed with the steam from the shower. With cold from one side and heat from the other, Qi Jing clutched at the collar of his shirt as he hunched his back, curling up frigidly like a snail sprinkled with salt.

—It’s been quite a while since he experienced that feeling of his limbs growing cold from low blood sugar level.

It was something that would only happen back during his days of messed up lifestyle and crazy working hours; he never felt it anymore since he started living with Shen Yan. Shen Yan would prepare a delicious, piping hot meal for him, smiling gently as he looked at him eating that soft and plump rice.

The food was probably cold by now...

“I want to eat it, even if it’s cold...” Before, he didn’t shed even one tear when his heart was like the cold ashes, but once he thought of the food Shen Yan made, he suddenly couldn’t repress his feelings anymore and just couldn’t stop those things flowing from his eyes. He bit his lips to the point they turned white, his voice shaky as he said, “Shen Yan, I want to eat...”

“Knock knock.”

At that time, Qi Jing suddenly heard the sound of knocking at the main door coming from beyond the bathroom door.

Shocked, he held his breath. He unconsciously looked at the time—it was less than fifteen minutes since he got into the bathroom...

Impossible, that’s too quick. It’s impossible.

Even though reason told him so, he couldn’t help but feel his heart beating faster as he stood up from the side of the bathtub.

The man outside the door also didn’t seem to expect that someone would knock at the door. Harbouring a guilty conscience, he called in an anxious voice, “Who? Who is it?”

Qi Jing hastened his pace to get to the door and stick his ear to its surface, his whole being focused at listening to what was happening outside. At that moment, an elderly voice could suddenly be heard, “Open the door, I forgot to bring my stuff—”

Hearing that the one outside was an elderly person, the man relaxed his tense posture a little. It was probably a hotel guest from the same floor who mixed up the room doors. “Sir, it’s not your room, you’ve got the wrong door.” He didn’t think long before he yelled back.

He looked through the peephole. It seemed to be blocked out with something, it was so dark he couldn’t see a thing. But the man didn’t care about it, he only wished for the other side to leave quickly, so as not to alarm more people.

“Ah?” And yet, it happened to be the way of speaking he hated the most, that senile tone so common among old people.

“You got the wrong room.”

“I can’t hear you.” The old man not only seemed to have a blurred vision from age, his hearing wasn’t too good either.

“I said, Sir, you went to the wrong place! It’s not your room; your things are not here!” The man knitted his brows as he raised his voice.

“I can’t hear you.” The old man still repeated that phrase, even his knocking at the door got louder and louder.

“Tsk.” The man glanced at the bathroom door which was still tightly closed and thought to himself that a weak old geezer who couldn’t even speak without his voice trembling wouldn’t pose any threat, so he moved to place a hand on the door handle. As he did so, he said angrily, “I said, Sir, why are you—”

The moment the door opened a peep, the man suddenly felt it thrust towards him violently, its impetus making him tumble backwards!

Shocked, he struggled to maintain his balance and not fall. Just as he was about to lift his head, his wrist got clutched—it hurt so much, he reflexively jerked his hands up, yet he didn’t expect that the joint on the side of his elbow would get clenched in a firm grip, keeping a precise hold on the tendon controlling the strength in one’s arm.

That was one of the weakest points in the human body.

In that moment, the man’s arm was struck with immense pain—he couldn’t help but scream, but the next second, that arm got twisted to his back and he finally fell to his knees with a thud.

“I said that there was something of mine in your room, and I’m here to take it back,” A young man’s voice came over, completely unlike the elderly voice from just a moment ago, heavy and tinted with a trace of wrath, “didn’t you hear me?”

The man suddenly realised what the other was talking about.

“You—” Before he could finish his sentence, he was suddenly struck hard on the side of his neck and his eyes immediately went black as he lost consciousness.

A doctor was a doctor after all—the amount of force he used was all carefully calculated, so he wouldn’t possibly cause unnecessary harm. Shen Yan let go of that man’s joints, gasping as he straightened his back slowly.

“Qi Jing?”

The room was silent, with only an indistinct sound of flowing water disturbing the silence.

“Qi Jing,” Shen Yan softly called that name, “it’s alright now... You can come out.”

At that moment, the bathroom door opened with a creak. At first, the door only opened a bit, it took a few seconds before the person slowly came out from inside. Under the bathroom lamp, there was a strong contrast in the lights and shadows on his face. He looked a bit pale, his gaze bleak as he stared numbly at the person on the floor.

“Is he dead?” Even when he asked that question, there was no expression on his face.

“He’s just unconscious.” Shen Yan was slightly stunned, and before he could say another word, Qi Jing suddenly extended his hand and reached around in the space between them like a blind man looking for his way. When he finally found Shen Yan’s hand, he grabbed it as if he was grasping onto the last driftwood in the vast ocean, holding onto it desperately.

Then, he laughed.

“Ha, haha,” Qi Jing’s voice was incredibly shaky, it was clear that he did his best to control his emotions, “Is that so, that’s good... It would only cause you trouble if he died, he’s not worth it.”

After saying that, he froze. Then, the hand holding onto Shen Yan suddenly let go. “I also burdened you,” He said, “I’m also not worth it.”

Saying this, he made two tottering steps forward, his expression blank.

He didn’t know where to go.

Probably somewhere where the shadows are the darkest, deepest, that’s where he should go—he wanted to hide himself, hide in a place where Shen Yan wouldn’t find him.

The moment he made the third step, suddenly a pair of arms embraced him, pulling him into that person’s secure hug. “Qi Jing,” A hoarse voice came from behind him. His back was warm, so warm that it hurt, and he felt like crying, “snap out of it. Calm down... Let’s go back home.”

“Uh...” Choking with emotions, he gave a stifled reply. Tears that regained their usual warmth fell from his face onto the back of Shen Yan’s hand. Those tears seeped between his fingers, the bitterness in them connecting their intertwined fingers, tying the two of them into one.

It was as if he received a kind of redemption.

Qi Jing really wanted to stay in that embrace like that, but the man on the floor made him unable to bear the thought of staying in this place even for even a second longer. So he suppressed his emotions and forced himself to take all of his belongings. When they were leaving, he didn’t spare the man a glance, as even one more look at him would make him disgusted. He only kept a death grip on the hem of Shen Yan’s clothes, pulling him as they went out, up until they left that suffocating room far behind them.

They didn’t take a lift, but left by the fire escape route where the light was the dimmest.

It was completely dark behind the passage door. They couldn’t even see the staircase clearly.

Shen Yan walked down two steps first before he turned his head back to support Qi Jing. But Qi Jing stood in place in a stupor. The strength in his legs was only enough to get him out of that place—after coming this far, he couldn’t lift his foot, he couldn’t make another step anymore, unable to either go ahead or back. He could only grasp that hand tightly, and not let go.

Shen Yan knew that the stress Qi Jing was under hadn’t gone away yet. He went back a step, not insisting on making him go, only hugging him silently in the darkness, “If you can’t go on, then stop for a moment.”

Qi Jing only reacted after a long while. His fingers searched tremblingly for Shen Yan’s shoulders before he lowered his head there, his breath shaky.

Shen Yan didn’t say anything anymore; besides drawing his head closer to console him, he made no other movement.

Yet after a long spell of silence, the person in his embrace said two words all of a sudden, “My ex.”

Shen Yan froze.

To be honest, he more or less figured it out, so it was fine even if Qi Jing didn’t spell it out clearly. But the tone of Qi Jing’s voice was very serious and resolute, so he only said “mn” in response, remaining still in the same position.

Qi Jing’s voice stopped again.

But Shen Yan felt his knees moving a bit, his body leaning forwards, hugging him even more tightly.

“Shen Yan”

“Mhm.”

“Shen Yan, are you here...” Even though that person was so close at hand, he still asked stiffly in a daze.

“Mhm, I came. I’m here.” Every time, Shen Yan would give him a response that could settle his heart, even though his throat was a bit hoarse. Those exchanges were sporadic and devoid of logic, making one unable to tell whether the person speaking was of clear mind.

“I thought... it would take you much longer.” The moment he heard the knocking at the door, his heart almost stopped from nervousness.

“I was already anxious when you didn’t answer the second call, so I was on my way at that time. In fact, I was already at the entrance of the TV station when I made that last call.”

So that’s how it was.

Qi Jing laughed feebly and continued until he couldn’t laugh anymore, only leaning his head against Shen Yan’s shoulder as he kept trembling uncontrollably.

“I know his wife.”

The topic that had to be brought up needed to be brought up, for the sake of concluding it once and for all.

“She’s a girl with quite a good background. She’s very pretty and has a good personality. Back then, me and that man got to know her at college... She looked so innocent, so splendid when she laughed, and even went so far as to resign from work to give him a child and raise it well. They got married soon after graduation, but funnily enough, that guy still made me be their emcee... I thought, even if he didn’t cherish me, he would at least cherish that good girl. I really, honestly... thought so, all this time until now.”

He ran out of breath at that point, so Qi Jing gasped slightly a couple of times before he controlled himself and continued.

“I know his parents.” He said, “I met them a lot of times during wedding preparations. Both of them are very good people. His mother was always smiling; she loved to compliment people. Whenever I met her when I was doing my part as a master of ceremonies, she would praise me for being sensible, courteous and so on. Seeing her son getting married, she would also take care of introducing dates to me...”

He didn’t know how to reveal the truth to those people.

He didn’t know how to speak up while avoiding doing any harm, because as long as he spoke up, it would certainly do some harm.

Family, wife, child, and kind and understanding parents.

The man possessed many things he couldn’t have.

The man himself didn’t know how to treasure it, while he was taking it all into consideration, and in the end, all of it ended up as a mere joke.

“I’m so dumb,” This topic was nearing the end, and each word Qi Jing said was squeezed through his teeth as he laughed miserably, “I thought those kind of people... would still at least have some conscience and fidelity to speak of.”

“You endured it for long enough,”At that moment, Shen Yan prevented him from carrying on with his self-blame, “either way, the sheer fact that you didn’t give him away is the biggest lenience; it’s already enough.”

That man deserved to receive much harsher punishment, not just getting let off with merely being knocked out.

Yet, he knew where Qi Jing was coming from.

After a short pause, his voice got even heavier. “It might be selfish of me to say that... but compared to that person’s family, you should care more about yourself.” He moved Qi Jing’s head up a bit, touching his forehead with his own as he muttered, “If you think that you have no family to care for you, then, take me as your family—”

T/L:

Lilies: Phew, we all g now, this is just a cannon fodder even the author thought was undeserving of a name. Also, join us as a translation checker if you know Chinese, otherwise there’ll be no updates mwahahahaha

Lucilla: Oh noes! The main translator went bonkers! Help! Urgent need for TLCers, don’t leave me on her mercy QAQ

But on a serious note, I can’t even express how aggrieved I feel by the fact that Qi Jing spent all those years keeping that stuff closed off in his heart, only to protect the people around that man from the truth about his scum nature. It wasn’t a wise choice, as it might lead to even more people getting hurt because of him, but still... Big Return Date needs all the hugs TAT

Whiteflare: Good riddance. This trash deserved a world of hurt and yet Qi Jing was so merciful already. I’m glad this dude is out of the picture. SY, you’re so darned cool.

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