After they shared the kiss together, Yu Yan and Wang Lei just ended it at that and further not comment about it. As she excused herself and told Wang Lei that she would be checking on Li Jie one last time before she slept, she already left the office for Wang Lei to be alone.
However, as they already were alone to themselves, both of them couldn't help but have a foolish smile on their face, wondering why they felt this way as if they were teenagers.
As Wang Lei sat on the couch alone, he couldn't help but grin ear to ear, feeling like a young boy who just had his first kiss.
"Damn… what's with that Yu Yan?" he mumbled to himself, the man not able to get her out of his mind. "She's just so… different."
With him already staying in the office for a while, he allowed himself to imagine about their kiss over and over again—wondering what she found in her that he never saw in other women.
***
Yu Yan actually stayed in the hallway for a while before walking up the stairs. With her fanning herself as her grin never left her face, she wondered what made her feel giddy as she recalled the kiss she had with Wang Lei.
With her brushing herself from her thoughts, she then thought of Li Jie, wanting to check up on him before going to sleep.
It's one of the things a parent does—checking up on the little one before going to bed. It's their way of seeing if they are okay—being relieved once they are assured that they are having a nice sleep.
As she was already making way to the slightly opened door, her hand froze on the doorknob when she heard her son silently sobbing, as if forcing himself not to cry.
With her already opening the door slowly, the view of the little boy's back broke her heart—his shoulders shaking up and down making her want to pull him immediately in her arms as if it is a cure to whatever is making him feel bad.
"Oh, Li Jie…"
With Yu Yan's soothing voice already resounding in the room, the little boy was slightly startled, now turning his body to look at his mama with such vulnerable and weak eyes.
"What's wrong, my little mooncake?" Yu Yan asked, already sitting on his bed as she pulled him to sit on her lap. "Did you have a nightmare, little one? Hmm? Tell mama, and I will spray my magic spray to keep them at bay!"
With her saying this as it is her way to calm Li Jie down as it is one of his fears after a nightmare that the monster or ghost might be hiding under his bed, the little boy shook his head, snuggling up to his mama as what he said next made Yu Yan quiet.
"It's not that I had a nightmare… I woke up having a nice dream of wanting to have a baba."
Yu Yan didn't know what to say. With her just hugging her son tight as she rocked him back and forth and patted his back, Yu Yan just allowed him to cry, the little boy continuing to vent in the arms of his beloved mama.
"Why don't I have a baba, mama? Is little Li Jie too bad? Am I the reason?"
"No, baby," Yu Yan immediately answered, her voice breaking with how the little boy blamed himself when he had nothing to do with it. "It is never your fault, my little mooncake—never."
"Then why?" Li Jie sobbed, rubbing both of his eyes with his small fists. "Is my real baba a bad man?"
Yu Yan didn't know how to explain this to a little boy such as him. She did not want to further break his heart by telling him the truth—especially with how young he is and with how vulnerable he can be with him knowing that he grew up without a father.
With her sighing as she just kissed the top of his head, Yu Yan embraced him tightly, saying the words she thought is best.
"Don't worry, Li Jie. Mama can be your baba. You know that me and nainai are always here for you, right?"
"I know, mama," Li Jie said, snuggling on his mother's chest. "But I always wanted to have a baba—I always wondered what it would feel like."
Yu Yan then remembered how she felt like as a child. With her growing up without a father as well as he died when she was young, she felt a lump on her throat as she forced herself not to cry.
She could understand the emptiness her son was feeling—yearning for a father to fill up the empty space. With him experiencing the same frustrations that she had as a child, Yu Yan's heart broke, not wanting for her son to feel this way in the first place.
"You know, my mooncake," Yu Yan started, forcing herself not to cry so she won't look vulnerable in front of her son when he is the one who needed comfort the most. "Mama also wanted to have a baba when she was young."
"Really?"
Li Jie looked up at her, as if sensing the sadness in her voice as he touched her face with his small hand.
"I'm sorry, mama. I didn't know that you're also sad."
"Oh, baby…"
Yu Yan now cried and let out a laugh, as she was disappointed at herself for crying in front of her son.
"Never mind your mama. Your mama is strong and is more worried about you."
With Li Jie forcing out a smile, he kissed his mama's cheek and then asked a question that made her silent for a full five seconds.
"Mama… can I not have Mr. Wang Lei as my baba?"
What Yu Yan feared the most started to happen—her little Li Jie looking for a father. With her boss giving him the attention that he always wanted, she couldn't blame Li Jie to feel this way—Wang Lei the only male model he has in his recent interactions.
"I can't answer that, my dear."
Li Jie pouted. With him only nodding as he was an obedient little boy, what he asked next further broke Yu Yan's heart—not wanting her child to expect something more as Li Jie even started blaming himself.
"Is it because Li Jie is not his real son? Is it because Li Jie is not yet enough? What should I do? Am I not yet a good boy?"
"Oh, my mooncake…" Yu Yan embraced him tightly, hiding her face on his little shoulder. "Never blame yourself—you're the best child anyone could wish for. Please don't always say that you're not enough. You're perfect—you're more than that in mama's heart."
"Then… does that mean that Mr. Wang Lei will like me as his son?"
Yu Yan didn't answer his question. With her removing her slippers as she laid Li Jie down on the bed, she positioned herself beside him, already deciding that they should sleep together. As she put the blanket on both of them, Yu Yan just kissed the top of his head, ignoring her son's question.
"Time to sleep, my baby," Yu Yan said, already patting his side as if her hand contained magic that immediately made him close his eyes and slowly drift to sleep. "You need rest to be strong, my little one. I love you so much."
With Yu Yan silently crying as she let her tears freely escape her eyes as she closed her eyelids, little did she know that Wang Lei actually listened since the start of their conversation, hiding behind the wall as the opened door made their conversation audible.
He even found himself sad with what he heard—the man reflecting on their conversation as the wishes of the child lingered in his thoughts.
He even had the sudden urge to be that man for Li Jie, but deep inside his heart, he also felt fear and anxiety.
If he were to give the boy his wishes, would he be a good father to someone who is not even his blood? With him even getting closer to the little boy, will he really be a good role model to a good little boy such as him?
He knew that he even had bad qualities about himself! He wouldn't want to disappoint the little kid!
With him not wanting to think too much about this, he quietly walked away, deciding to reflect on himself as he started to reassess his intentions to Yu Yan.
Of course, he wouldn't want to take advantage of the little boy just so he could get closer to Yu Yan! With him genuinely wanting him to be his baba, of course, Wang Lei would never want to break the little boy's heart as well.
As Wang Lei continued to worry about this, he decided to knock himself out by getting a bottle of wine from the kitchen and drinking it in one go inside his bedroom so he can immediately drift to sleep.
***
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