Chapter 598 The Heavens Abuzz
?Asherah was currently lying underneath the tree of life in a relatively defenseless position.
Though she didn't require rest anymore, she did like to close her eyes from time to time and just exist without being burdened with enormous responsibility.
But she had to admit... this experience would have been even better if she was alone.
"Mother... they are doing it again."
*Sigh*
Asherah sat up underneath the tree; her veil removed from her beautiful face.
Once upright, she could see five of her children crowded around two of their siblings.
Michael and Uriel were both lying on their stomachs; their cheeks in the grass and heads in the clouds.
With the reconstructed timeline, each of them only had one eye missing instead of the original two, but their brains had still been sufficiently fried.
On more than one occasion, the two of them would absentmindedly rub their scars and make drunken, delirious comments.
Michael: "I miss him already... Do you think he's thinking about me??"
Uriel: "Why does he have to be so attractive...? I can't think about anything but his face."
The two archangels let out mellow, heartbroken sighs as they continued to trace Abaddon's face in the dirt.
Asherah snapped her fingers and the two of them blinked several times before their eyes regained some sense of clarity.
They looked down at the two incomplete portraits that they had drawn and their expressions became ugly.
""Damn it!"" The pair raised their fists in unison.
"There is to be no violence here." Asherah reminded.
The archangels stopped their attacks just before they could hit the ground.
Instead of using brutality, they were forced to furiously scrub away the portraits with their palms until their monuments of lust were no more.
"By the light... Why does this keep happening!?" Michael cried in frustration.
Asherah lay back down dismissively.
"You already know why. I should let you remain in a foolish stupor for your blunder..
I told you not to antagonize Abaddon in the first place and now look at what has become of you two."
Michael and Uriel lowered their heads in irritation as they remembered their last encounter with the black dragon.
Though their mother was periodically relieving them of their new urges through her own power, it was only a temporary fix.
Thoughts of Abaddon just kept trickling in over and over again the more time passed.
And Asherah's quick fixes were beginning to lose their effectiveness.
She was absolutely positive that eventually, the only one who would be able to fully mend the problem at all was Abaddon himself.
But Asherah had her doubts as to whether or not he would actually be inclined to help based off his feelings for the angels.
However, insight into his current mood should be returning at any moment...
*Poof*
Yesh suddenly appeared beside Asherah and immediately lay down beside her.
'Greetings, my wife.'
"Hello, dear. How was he?"
'Extremely pleasant surprisingly. He even applauded me on my ever growing comical ability.'
"Dear me... You didn't tell me he'd gone senile."
Yesh rolled over as if he didn't find his wife funny.
"Alright, alright, enough jokes. How is he doing honestly?" Asherah asked.
The archangels didn't want to seem nosy, but their ears noticeably perked up once they heard their parents begin to talk about Abaddon.
As they huddled together, they pretended as if they were talking amongst themselves with no interest in their parents' words.
All except for Azrael who didnt really care.
He walked towards the foot of the tree with his elders and sat down just as Yesh began explaining.
'Well... He's in a bit of a mood I suppose, but I can understand it. He is burdened with the weight of his new circumstances as well as the fact that he's created them.'
"And his new relationship with Sif?"
'That... I actually don't know. You know the kind of man he loathes and fears becoming, but she does require relief and I do not know if she will accept any other method than the one they have been using. It is entirely possible that he risks either losing his integrity, or her.'
"How long until he reaches that conclusion?"
'A day, a month? I can never tell with that one. You know he tends to leave most of the complex thinking to innocent Lailah.'
This was the first, and last time that absolutely anyone would refer to horny, vicious, cold-hearted Lailah as 'innocent'.
Azrael chuckled as he began to start a small campfire for enjoyment. "For the living personification of sex he is surprisingly restrained. I would have thought he would have pulled most if not all of those in his empire into his bed by now.'
"Well, like most of his decisions, it comes from his time on earth." Asherah confessed. "I won't go into the specifics since this is a sensitive subject for him, but next time you visit his lands, you should ask him. He does not dislike you enough to behead you for asking."
"I suppose I should count myself as one of the lucky few then!" the angel of death actually laughed out loud for the first time in hundreds of years.
Behind him, the remaining six archangels were watching this display in awe.
Why were they all acting like they were just talking about some harmless old friend!?
Abaddon had killed hundreds of gods, erased an entire reality on accident in his sleep, and practically mentally handicapped two of their children!
Why was no one more concerned about this!?
"D-Did he seem like he would be willing to fix what he did to our minds...?" Uriel finally asked anxiously.
Yesh thought about it for a moment before nodding at his daughter reassuringly.
'Let us go and ask him tomorrow. I'm sure once you say to him a proper apology, and vow to take no further action against him, he will leave you be.'
Michael and Uriel looked like they had a number of problems with their father's words, but ultimately there was only one part that they actually bothered to address.
"W-Why may we not go today?" Uriel asked; afraid of having more dirty dreams and fantasies that she didn't know how to process.
'Ah, well today his family is-'
"Hey!"
Everyone at the tree suddenly looked for the sight of the sudden yelling to find a rather unsettling sight.
Gulban had appeared out of nowhere, but he was out of his usual clothes.
Instead of his robes, he wore a deep blue speedo that didn't cover nearly as much as it should have.
His broad, hairy chest was on full display with the addition of a pair of goggles hanging around his neck.
Two floaties were jammed onto his broad, slightly flabby arms and he held two duffel bags that looked like they were stuffed to full capacity.
A backpack hung snuggly on his back and was stuffed to the brim with what seemed like children's water toys.
"Ah... Gulban, what in the name of my husband are you wearing?" Asherah almost never made any kind of repulsed or unsettled expression, but looking at her maker's choice of clothes had done just that.
"What? Have you been up here in this tree so long you don't recognize swimming attire when you see it??"
"I have honestly almost never witnessed anything like this..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Gulban asked in genuine confusion.
"Please don't walk, I'm seeing too many things jiggle." Azrael quite honestly looked like he was going to be sick.
"Look, I've just come for the opinion of you nincompoops! Does this outfit make me look like a cool and approachable grandpappy??"
Azrael: "Absolutely not."
Asherah: "I can in no way recommend you wearing that around children."
Azrael: "If you had shown up in an ice cream truck, I would have already intervened."
Uriel: "Why do you not just wear regular swim trunks..?"
Azrael: "You look like you belong on a registry."
Michael: "I can think of no justifiable reason why you would think that this was okay..."
Azrael: "The very moment that I saw you, I heard the 'Law and Order Special Victims Unit' song go off in my mind."
Yesh: 'Can you even swim...?'
Asherah: "I can say with 100% certainty that if you come near Abaddon's young daughters dressed like that, he is going to kill you before you have a chance to change."
"Alright, that's enough from all of you pillocks! " Gulban snapped.
In an instant his unbearably tight speedo was replaced by a pair of much more appropriate swim trunks.
"Better!?"
All: "...I guess."
"Why I oughta...!"
Jophiel finally looked like she was no longer scarred from the earlier horror she had witnessed and stuffed down the rising vomit in her throat.
"A-Anyway... Why are you dressed like that, maker?" she asked.
Gulban suddenly stuck out his chest with great pride. "MY daughter is having a family gathering at the lake and I am invited as thanks for saving that no-good husband of hers!"
"And I was almost happy for you..." Asherah sighed.
"What? What'd I say!?"
The mother goddess simply lay flat on her back and pulled her veil over her face as if she were already giving up on the conversation.
"Look, I don't have much time to waste so I need you all to help me make sure I don't make a fool of myself!" Gulban said.
'I thought we did that when we told you to change clothes...' everyone thought at once.
The Maker fished within his bag and pulled out a deck of cards playing cards and an old fashioned boombox.
"I've got two left feet and I don't know how to play cards! Somebody teach me how to play spades and do the wobble!"
Coincidentally, Yesh lay back down beside Asherahat that moment and went to 'sleep' just like she did- almost as if he was all out of words to say.
However, internally the two were having their own conversation that contained topics much too sensitive for all of these ears to hear.
'So… What else did you find out on your trip?' Asherah asked.
'It's as we thought.. those added restrictions may be necessary and worth considering. I just hope he doesn't grow resentful with us for doing it…'
'He's an understanding man. I'm sure if we stress that we aren't doing this to hurt him then he won't think too unfavorably of us. But what about your suspicion..?'
Yesh's tone became noticeably graver and he tightened his grip on Asherah's hand.
'At my best guess… he is somehow like her. But I know not how that is possible, and I know not what it means for the continued existence of all.'
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