Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 286 – Florida Man Wakes Up to Surprise Addition: Baby or Burrito?!

By the time Aslan returned, Leo already cleaned up the mess. Fortunately, the fight finished in a flash, and both men didn't use any wide-ranged skills. No one was harmed.

As soon as Aslan landed on the mystic realm platform, he looked around, observing the stone elf army. He then gave Meowmeow a weird look.

"Get some help, Meowmeow."

Meowmeow was offended. He smirked, "I've been working hard, and you're telling me to get some help? No. YOU get some help. You've contributed nothing."

"Hah. You have no idea what your wives have done. You almost ruined my plan."

"Ruin what plan? You lazy ass know nothing."

"…"

Aslan shook his head, mentally exhausted from bantering with this immature angel. He shifted his attention to one of Meowmeow's mistresses 'Wei Yuan'.

Wei Yuan also looked back. She flinched as the gaze of Aslan seemed scarier than before. His bloodcurdling glare and Overlord Xiaomao's elderly face were so terrifying that she knelt and lowered her head.

Aslan approached her. He whispered, "Transfer the prisoner to my dantian universe."

Wei Yuan nodded. She ejected a light ball from her stomach and sent it to Aslan. The latter directed it to his dantian and closed his eyes.

In Aslan's dantian universe, Ester floated in the void. Her body, covered in a bubble ball, gradually descended upon the white sun. She landed in front of Simba.

The husband and wife reunited. The bubble broke, but no one managed to move due to the extreme gravity.

Aslan's consciousness also manifested in the universe. He appeared behind the two and created a one-square-kilometer barrier array. The dome manifested, which lessened the gravity force within the domain.

Simba and Ester could finally move. They hugged and consoled each other.

Aslan watched his son and daughter-in-law in solemn. A few minutes later, both husband and wife turned to him.

"Dad, about our son…"

Aslan sighed, "I know. He's somewhere in your brother's territory."

"Then, can you bring him here?"

"Nope!"

Simba's expression turned dark. "Can I ask why?"

"I'll be taking him as a disciple and raise him myself. You two are in no condition to raise your child."

"Hah?! Wait a second, you're being unreasonable here. That's our child. Why are you taking him away?"

Aslan reminded Simba of one fact, "Have you forgotten what you are made of? It's already a miracle that you can actually reproduce. In fact, you're different from Leo who inherited my flesh and blood. You're a human, but the only human part inside you is your brain. The rest of your body is composed of countless monster parts and mixed blood of various powerful overlords."

"…"

Simba froze. He was aware of that fact. But for Ester, this was her first time hearing this piece of information.

"You are what, Simba?!" Ester was shocked.

Speechless and flustered, Simba stuttered, "I-uh-I'm sorry."

Aslan clarified the misunderstanding for the family. "This is going to be a long explanation. How about we sit down and listen to me."

The father proceeded to explain everything he had done in the past and revealed his family's secret.

.

.

Meanwhile, Leo was mentally exhausted after the brief combat against Simba. He returned to his bus, planning to get a good nap.

Returning to his bedroom, he tossed his clothes to the floor and dashed into a bathroom. After an hour-long quality bath, he wiped his body and made his way straight to the bed. Without checking the bed, he slipped inside and prepared to enter his dream world.

Suddenly, his arm touched something.

"WAAAAAAAAA!!"

The thing that Leo accidentally touched suddenly cried. Leo widened his eyes and looked at the little thing next to him.

There was a little baby boy next to him. He was a light-brown elf infant.

Leo sat up and gazed at the baby in confusion. He didn't remember having a baby. Moreover, Esen was never pregnant as he had been keeping her status after their sexy time.

"Who the hell are you, you little shit? Wait a minute. OH SHIT!!"

He remembered that he accidentally touched the boy. He jumped out of bed and scoured for his clothes, searching for spatial rings that contained Hope and Dream pills.

It took Leo a minute to find the ring in the back pocket pants. He brought the pill out and bit his fingertip, extracting his blood. Then, he leaped back to the bed to check the boy's condition.

The boy never mutated. On the contrary, he looked healthy. His deep black eyes fixated on Leo's face.

"Huh? You're fine?"

The boy stopped crying. He stretched his little arms and opened his palms.

"Dah."

The boy was attracted to Leo's blood. He waved his arms and legs, wanting to get the drop of transparent blood on his fingertip.

Leo noticed the boy's gaze. He deeply frowned.

"Hey, you little brat. My blood is more toxic and poisonous than Chornobyl sewers. If you drink this, you'll turn into a zombie."

"DAH!"

"…"

Leo grumbled. He might be an idiot, but he refused to play with lives. For the sake of the boy, Leo licked his fingertip to get rid of the blood.

As soon as Leo drank the blood, the boy wailed.

"WAAAAAAAHH!"

Facing a crying baby, Leo facepalmed. He picked the boy up and wrapped him with a dry towel. He purchased a pet bed from the system store and put the baby on it.

The boy stopped crying again. He looked around him in curiosity.

Leo was relieved. Ignoring the responsibility, he returned to bed and was fast asleep.

However, the nightmarish experience of keeping a baby had just begun. An hour later, the boy screamed.

He was hungry. He also defecated.

The foul smell of the baby's feces woke up Leo. He got out of bed and rushed to the source of annoyance.

"You…"

"WAAAAAAAHH!!"

Leo had enough. He stripped the dirty towel and burnt it. Then, he carried the poop-stained boy out of the bus.

Along the way out of his bus, he ran into Beatrice, who had just clocked off work for the day. She noticed the boy and the dirty butt.

"Your Majesty… The boy…"

Leo grinned as he found a victim. He shoved the boy to Beatrice.

"I don't know how this little critter got to my bed. Find his parents and get him outta here. He dirtied my room."

"…This elf…"

Before Beatrice could explain, Leo already stomped back to his room. He shut the door behind him.

"…"

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