Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 292 – Florida Couple Taken to Hospital after Recreating 'Till Death Do Us Part' Wedding Moment With Super Glue on Their Lips.

At 12.30, Ivy led the bride to the wedding hall. The caravan's parade song attracted everybody's attention. Even the people on the lower floors could hear it.

Leo immediately stopped talking. He stepped on the front stage and patiently waited. Aslan also stood next to his proud son, unable to stop smiling.

The staff switched the TVs on, showing the live feed of the caravan. The crowd stopped eating and queuing for bathrooms to watch the event.

The wedding ceremony followed the divine elf's tradition. The bride's friends or bodyguards carried a wooden palanquin, on where the bride sat. A parade led the caravan and played beautiful march songs, using harps and flutes. Everybody was dressed in green clothes and wooden masks.

The songs entranced the guests. All sound from the halls ceased – Only the parade instrumentals resounded. The music kept on going until the palanquin arrived at the designated wedding hall.

Ivy opened the palanquin's curtain and helped the bride exit the vehicle. Esen put her hand on Ivy's palm and slowly stepped out.

As soon as Esen revealed her wedding clothes, all the men swallowed saliva in astonishment.

Esen's clothes were pure white. Long white gloves and silver stockings concealed her precious jade skin. Ironically, her wedding dress revealed her shoulders and improved cleavage. The thin skirt only covered the front and back, leaving the sides unprotected. As for her back, it was naked.

In short, her entire dress looked like it could slip or fall at any moment. All the men gazed at her in a daze, imagining impossible scenarios as they didn't understand how the dress worked.

Meanwhile, Ivy and Esen secretly rechecked the invisible strings, which supported the dress. These transparent threads tied the clothes to her body, enabling her to move freely without worrying about potential cloth malfunctions.

Esen looked up, highlighting her diamond tiara and her new hairstyle. Instead of letting her hair loose as usual, her hair had been braided into a bun, revealing Esen's smooth neck and upper back.

Two bodyguards walked in front of Esen. They carried a basket of flower petals and she spread them while they walked. Ivy held Esen's hand and followed the girls toward the front stage.

When Esen reached the stage, Ivy helped her walk up the stairs. The bride's glistening high-heeled shoes made a clopping noise as she stepped up on the stage.

Leo gazed at Esen's face. Because of her makeup, she looked more gorgeous than usual. Although he wanted to embrace her and kiss her right away, he maintained composure and followed the wedding procedure, which he had practiced according to Ivy and Beatrice's guidance.

The bride stopped at the center of the stage, staring at her husband. Meanwhile, Leo followed the divine elf tradition by turning around and picking a branch of a white tree, which had been soaked with earth fate crystal holy water. He then knelt on one knee in front of Esen and raised the branch.

Leo recited the vow, which Ivy had asked him to come up with. He recited a traditional line to be safe as he had no idea what he should say on this occasion.

"I am Leo… Leonardo, the Florida Man!"

For the first name, Leo revealed his first name in public. The crowd was surprised and widened their eyes. However, Leo didn't disclose his surname because he already forgot about it.

Leo continued, "I vow with my karma, fate, and soul: I will cherish, protect, and treasure your heart, your soul, and your smile. In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, in Styx River and in Heaven, in bed and outdoors, I will love and honor you all the days… and maybe all the nights."

"AHEM!" Ivy and Aslan coughed as Leo's vow was getting weird.

Esen restrained her smile. She received the white tree's branch and bit the tip of her tongue. She blew a droplet of blood on the branch. Then, she gave the branch back and made an oath.

"I am Esen Sydin VI, the Empress of Molg and the crown princess of the Divine Elf Kingdom. I vow with my soul, bloodline, and karma: I shall dedicate my heart, body, and soul to you. In life and death, in dreams and reality, I will also love and honor you. But please show mercy at night. It's exhausting."

Everybody burst into laughter, including Leo. Only Ivy and Aslan facepalmed.

Leo wiped the tear at the corner of his eyes. He received the branch and followed the tradition of the divine elf by stabbing his neck with the branch. Although the branch was not strong enough to penetrate his skin, he secretly enveloped the branch with a thin layer of Qi, creating a razor blade. Then, he slightly cut his flesh with it to draw his blood.

The spectators were surprised yet again as they weren't familiar with this tradition. Everybody murmured, thinking that Leo was about to commit suicide.

Ivy had predicted this scene. She had informed Dongfang Mei and the hotel workers to inform the guests.

Meanwhile, Xu Nuan and Dongfang Mei's subordinates started working. They explained to the guests.

"There is a legend in the Divine Elf Kingdom. In ancient times, the god of sincerity and honesty blessed a mortal world with white trees, which served as his avatars. The white trees inherited his power, and they were so sacred that their branches could detect dishonesty and evil thoughts of mortals. Any mortal wounded by a white tree's branch will be cursed and die within seven minutes. The divine elves in ancient times always used white tree branches in wedding ceremonies to test the grooms and brides of their hearts. The grooms and brides are required to prove their honesty and sincerity during the wedding by piercing their necks with a branch of a white tree. But because of the changes of time, only the grooms need to stab their necks."

"OH!!"

Hearing a backstory, everybody was relieved.

Unfortunately, none of them but the molgs and Esen's people knew that the tale was real. As soon as Leo stabbed his neck, a change occurred inside him. A sound transmission of a stranger echoed in his mind.

'I heard the vow, but I didn't hear all of them. Can you repeat those? Of course, I'll use my dao power on you to prove your sincerity.'

Leo deeply frowned. He asked the owner of the voice in his mind.

'Who are you?'

'I am Overlord Gawr Ghoul, the servant of Karmic Sovereign of Honesty. You who are about to marry one of my descendants, repeat your vow or I'll curse you.'

'Umm. Okay.'

Since the guy claimed to be Esen's ancestor, Leo played it safe. He repeated his vow in his mind.

After repeating the verse, Leo's entire body glistened in white light. Moreover, his physical age decreased!

His white hair turned black. The long beard was shortened and trimmed while the skin on his face smoothened. Blemishes and hidden marks on his skin vanished. Even his aura and scent became pleasant.

From the physical appearance of a 50 or 60-year-old man, Leo looked like a man in his 40s. As he became younger, his mature face looked dandy and handsome.

Ivy and Beatrice slightly blushed as the matured handsome face of Leo and his trimmed full beard charmed them. They averted their eyes and took several deep breaths to control their minds.

Esen slightly dropped her jaw as well. She got used to seeing Leo in his old appearance. When she noticed how attractive Leo was, her heart skipped a beat.

Meanwhile, Leo felt nothing. He only heard the praising of the unknown overlord.

'I've confirmed your sincerity. As the avatar of honesty, I hereby bless you with longevity and a joyous marriage life. Oh, I enhance your vitality a little. Have fun at night, my boy.'

The corners of Leo's mouth curved up into a smile. He started to like the overlord.

'Visit my domain sometimes. I'll introduce you to the bride.'

'Yeah, I've pinpointed your location. I'll pay you a visit when I'm free. Now, I'll leave you alone. See you later, boy!'

'You, too.'

The connection was finally cut. Leo looked up and pulled the branch away from his neck.

When Leo stood up, Esen smiled at him and whispered.

"Did you have a good chat with the god?"

Leo rolled his eyes, "Can't you tell?"

"Yup. You look very handsome, Leonardo."

"Just call me Leo. The long name sounds cringe."

"Alright, Leo."

Both bride and groom smiled at each other. They forgot about the ceremony.

"AHEM!"

Again, Ivy coughed as the ceremony hadn't been completed yet. She whispered Esen.

"The kiss, Your Majesty. You need to kiss him to complete the wedding ceremony."

"O-Oh."

Esen flinched and glanced at the crowd below the stage. All their eyes fixated their gaze at Esen's white shoulders and long legs, which made her nervous.

She gulped, not wanting to stay here any longer. She looked at Leo's face.

Because of their height difference, Esen couldn't reach him. Even though she wore high-heeled shoes, the tip of her head only reached Leo's nose.

Without a choice, Esen levitated a few centimeters. She grabbed Leo's face and complained.

"Stick out your mouth, Leo."

Leo snickered, "Oh, it's kissy time?"

"Shut up!"

Esen sealed their lips together.

"YEAAAAAAHH!!"

As soon as they kissed, the crowd erupted. Some of the guests on the lower floors raised their glasses and toasted for Leo. Many people whistled and laughed.

Meanwhile, Leo and Esen awkwardly stared at each other's eyes. Because of their good eyesight, they could even see the other person's cells within the eyeballs.

Esen was embarrassed that she had enough. She tried to pull her head away.

"Hmm?"

Unfortunately, their lips were glued together for an unknown reason.

"Mmm?!"

Leo also sensed something weird. He pulled his head back, but he ended up dragging Esen along. The sticking-mouth-tug-of-war had been initiated. The laughter got louder as the scene was too comical.

Aslan glanced at Ivy who wryly smiled as she forgot to tell Esen and Leo a piece of important information.

"Oh, dear."

According to the legend of Honesty God, the kiss had to be SINCERE as well. In elf's tradition, a puppy kiss couldn't be acknowledged as a lover's sincerity. Only when they started making out in public was considered SINCERE as the husband and wife openly claimed ownership of each other in front of many witnesses.

Leo was the first to start opening his mouth. It was not because of the awareness of the legend or tradition but his naughtiness.

Because their lips were glued to each other, Esen's mouth was forced open. Leo then attacked her with his tongue.

"RERO-RERO- RERO-RERO- RERO-RERO- RERO-RERO- RERO-RERO- RERO-RERO!!"

"!!!"

Esen flailed her arms and legs in panic, but Leo already embraced her and carried her with his two hands, grabbing her butt.

A minute after the exchange, their lips parted while a thread of liquid still connected their mouths. Esen's face was bright red. On the contrary, Leo widely grinned.

Ivy coughed several times and quickly announced the end of this farce.

"As the witness of the vows, I announce you husband and wife."

Aslan raised his eyebrows as the order of the kisses and the announcement switched. He whispered to Ivy.

"No flower bouquet throwing, right?"

Ivy whispered back, "No."

"What about the next procedure?"

"The groom must take the bride to the backroom and consummate with her for at least an hour. Also, because of the vow and the blessing, impregnation is guaranteed. Please tell the lord to wear some protection if he doesn't want a child at the moment."

"Who the hell made those karmic laws?! Was it Karmic Sovereign Wendy?!"

"If I remember correctly, her name is Wen Dee, not Wendy."

"Yeah, right. When DEEZ NUTS hit your mouth. I remember that name now."

"…"

.

Aslan and Ivy told Esen and Leo the next queue, which ended up in another memorial moment. Leo happily princess-carried Esen to the room behind the stage while everybody laughed at them.

For hours, the groom and the bride were MIA, but the guests understood what happened behind the scenes. Everybody enjoyed the party until midnight before they dispersed.

However, the missing couple never came out of the room. Only a week later, Leo and Esen had their fill.

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