Chapter 25
“Well, you certainly got what it takes. You’ve really shown yer skills with that monstrous medicine ya made.”
“Dear, perhaps Mr. Cohgray is better than you at your own trade.”
“What d’you just say?”
Ah, jeez... Arleaf’s parents are glaring at each other again.
Are they on bad terms with each other?
“Oh, no, not at all. I’m just all talk; I don’t have much practical experience.”
Actually, Veno was giving me step-by-step instructions. Let alone it being made well, it was riddled with clumsy little mistakes.
I simply don’t have much experience doing this stuff. But at least being a Poison-Wielder, I have my Senses and Masteries to fill in some of the gaps in my experience.
Not like I want to be a White Mage anyway, so I think I’m fine like this.
I was thinking maybe I should dabble some more poison creation.
I’ve never needed potions or anything since I have my Poison Absorption.
But from this point on, I might need to run away to places other than the swamp.
In that case, poison creation might come in handy.
“I’m just a wandering adventurer... I’m not an apothecary.”
“Hmm... should we discuss this some more today?”
“Yes, Mr. Cohgray, do tell us what kind of positions you’ll be putting Arleaf through.”
“Huh?”
Putting aside the matter that Arleaf is definitely going to work for me, what do you mean “positions”?
“Umm... I’ll pick the herbs, get her to make them into potions, and to sell them too?”
“That ain’t what we’re talkin’ about.”
That’s not it either? I was told not to lay a hand on her either. What else can a man do to a girl?
“You are an adventurer, Mr. Cohgray, so we were wondering kind of role you would be putting her in.”
“Oh, that’s what you’re talking about!”
“While our Arleaf is undergoing Chemist training in order to be an apothecary, she has also been practicing magic as well. I’m sure she can be useful to you.”
“But seein’ how you can use magic too and you’ve got yer homunculus to take the front, we were just wondering what you’re thinkin’ to do with Arleaf is all.”
Oh, what?
Does Arleaf’s parents know lots about battles?
‘They have suffered from Bloodflower for so long and yet were able to survive it. Perhaps they may be quite powerful.’
Well, maybe before they established their own store, they travelled around peddling their medicines.
It seems like they get Arleaf to do it too.
Plus, she frequently travels to the hills and dungeons.
It’s only natural if they know a thing or two.
“Arleaf was planning to head to the church to change jobs, y’know? She can return to her Chemist training after she’s done serving you.”
“If she follows you around, Mr. Cohgray, I’m sure she will learn a lot. Think of it as a shortcut by postponing becoming a Chemist.”
Her parents are saying she should spec into another class but would Arleaf be okay with that?
Let alone common knowledge, I don’t even know the family values of this world.
“No, no. If Arleaf wishes to be a Chemist, I think she’s fine as is.”
“Whatcha talkin’ about? She’s got lots more hidden talents, y’know?”
Hey, whoa. What are you hiding from me again?
Oh, I can smell Arleaf’s cooking.
... smells good.
“Mu?!”
Simultaneously... Muu begins twitching.
It staggers into the wall and... huddles in the corner, almost as if it’s trying to say, “I’m just a normal mushroom.” Muu looks as if it’s about to plant itself down and then his eyes turn white.
What’s wrong, Muu?!
‘... Muu has fainted. What happened?’
Veno, too, seems puzzled by Muu’s behavior.
I look back at Arleaf’s parents and almost had a heart attack.
All of a sudden, they both have gas masks on, seemingly retrieved from thin air.
So it’s not just Muu. You lot, too.
“Mr. Cohgray, you are proficient at making antidotes, yes? I’m afraid it is now or never.”
“If not, then... here.”
They plop down a gas mask in front of me... what the hell’s happening?!
What do I need this gas mask for?
“... dinner’s ready.”
With a slight sullen look on her face, Arleaf throws... a plate of her cooking down onto the dining table.
I have no words.
‘How... how did she turn those ingredients into this? How unfathomable! Surely this has to be a work of magic.’
The colorful dish gives off the impression of being food. Somehow, the ingredients still wriggle around even after being prepared.
What the hell is this? It feels like I’ve failed a sanity check, resulting in a physical manifestation of my nightmares.
??? of Mimosa Wild Boar
Quality: Inexplicable
??? of wild boar that has been prepared in a unique method.
Paired with a side of ??? salad, this is a well-balanced meal.
Hey, the text has corrupted.
What the hell is ???, Veno?
Not to mention, what does “inexplicable” quality mean?
I mean, that’s pretty special on its own, but to call it mysterious?
Still flabbergasted, I point at the substance that is presented as cooking. Arleaf’s father nods.
“This is why our daughter still isn’t married yet! When nobles ask her hand for marriage, they turn tail and run away. Even the men of the village back off.”
“You’re cruel, Father.”
“You’re right. We shouldn’t have forced our daughter’s shameful display upon Mr. Cohgray.”
“But if we don’t say nothin’ about it, someone’s bound to get hurt. Cohgray’s saved our lives after all.”
Her father says awful things while having a great laugh.
Umm, what’s going on?
“Now then, won’t you have a bite? Just as an aside, we’ve buried this stuff in our yard once and not a single livin’ thing has been growin’ since. From time to time, we plant this stuff by the roads every so often to kill off the weeds. We even hang it from each corner of the village to ward off evil.”
“Then can I eat this?” is what I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue.
I mean, Arleaf made it herself and everything.
“If you throw it in the swamp, the toxins actually get stronger. And you know how Arleaf has that monster-repelling incense that she burns? Yeah, that’s just this stuff watered down.”
I don’t think that’s anything to be proud about.
This is the source of that smell, eh?
So that means Arleaf possesses the skills of dark culinary arts... Poison Cooking, if you will.
With no more than the most ordinary of ingredients and preparation methods, she created this work of art.
No, this isn’t some light novel I read when I was still a student.
This is a parallel world after all. It actually exists.
‘I am extremely curious about the principles behind this. I have never seen this phenomenon before.’
Veno seems to be brimming with excitement for this still-squirming plate of food. I am not.
And Muu’s passed out just by the stench.
I’m afraid if I breathe this stuff in for too long, the poison will get to me and I’ll fall unconscious too.
Arleaf flings open the kitchen window for ventilation.
“Arleaf is cooking again!”
After some villager shouted that out loud, the town turned calm and quiet.
Perhaps her cooking is infamous already.
How horrifying.
“Umm...”
I look over at Arleaf. Whether it’s because she’s uncomfortable with the situation or that she’s embarrassed by it, she blushes and hangs her head downwards.
I think she’s self-conscious about it.
She doesn’t want to have anyone eat her cooking. More than that, she doesn’t seem like she even likes cooking in the first place.
If this were a fictional story, the main character would be oblivious and force others to eat it. But since Arleaf’s aware and didn’t want to cook anyway, I should forgive her.
“Perhaps she should marry into a household where they have servants to do the cooking.”
I mean, she had aristocrats eyeing her. If they knew beforehand, they should’ve been okay.
Plus, she knows how her cooking is.
“Surely, they would be suspicious of her, seeing how it is...”
Ohh, if anything does happen, they’d suspect Arleaf of poisoning people to death.
It’s not as simple as it seems, I guess.
“Not to mention that the villages around here like a girl who can cook well. Arleaf has it rough, y’know?”
Even though she’s such a cutie and she’s got such an honest character, her one weak point is keeping her from marriage, huh?
Men usually want to see how a girl’s domestic skills are, but now I understand why Arleaf’s father has done this.
He’s basically saying, “If ya want my daughter, you’ll have to accept this part of her too.”
You can see how happy he is, being a father that doesn’t want to give his daughter away.
“She’s great as a Chemist though... I wonder why her cooking is like this.”
“So, if ya want to get all chummy with our daughter, you’d best eat up. If not, we’ll just treat you normally, like her employer.”
What, you’re still going to threaten me after all this?
No wonder Arleaf and her mom’s been giving him the cold shoulder.
“Father, you’re going to give it away to Yukihisa? But I made this all for you.”
“That’s right, dear. Arleaf worked so hard, just for you. Now, open wide.”
“Y’all tryin’ to kill me?!”
He went so far as to say he’s being killed.
What a terrible father.
“Don’t worry about it. Dig in.”
“N-No way I’m touchin’ that! Last time, I was stuck in bed for a week!”
This sure is some powerful stuff.
If a bite is a week, then all of it... and you keel over and die.
“Come now, Father! I have kept you waiting for too long.”
Arleaf stabs a mouthful with a metallic fork to feed it to her dad.
Though it’s made of metal, it sizzles as if it were being burning hot.
Is this a new form of torture?
“Guh... I won’t die here today!”
“You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.”
“You can leave the store to me, Father.”
A matter of life and death is unfolding right in front of my eyes.
But... it smells really good.
Why, I wonder.
I mean, it might disgust them, but that sweet scent is quite alluring to me.
It’s familiar.
Kinda like a good curry, just the aroma is enough to be mouthwatering.
‘You may be affected by the poison already. Perhaps she added something to lure you to try it... how interesting.’
“Uhh... is it alright if I take a bite?”
I don’t know whether it’s curiosity of instincts, but something’s urging me to try it.
“Huh?”
Not believing what she has just heard, Arleaf’s mother doubtfully looks at me.
Her husband, who was looking for a way out of this, suddenly looks very happy and laughs out loud.
Something doesn’t feel right, and I think I can take back what I just said, but my desire to try Arleaf’s cooking doesn’t go away.
Oh, I know why.
It’s definitely Poison Absorption that’s giving me this urge.
“Umm...”
I ignore their confused looks and go for it with my fork. I take a bite of what seems to be a wriggling piece of meat.
“Ah?!”
Arleaf and her family, frozen in place, watch me chew my food.
Gah... the meat is moving in my mouth!
It’s even coiling around my tongue with all its might and I can taste all of it.
I’m not sure if it’s the meat disgusting by itself or how it was cooked, but I try to swallow it all.
Perhaps this might be parasitic too, like Bloodflower Part 2.
And now for the critical review. It is not food for the living. It rejects all five of the known basic tastes—sweetness, sourness, saltiness, bitterness, and savoriness.
It’s not about how bad it is. It tastes like death.
However, what I would call a taste of toxicity—and this may be unique to me—it completely overwhelms me in that regards.
The meat secrets a thick toxic flavor which surpasses all perfectly marbled meats. It dances on my palate, triggering my taste buds as it courses through my mouth, and it develops all sorts of flavors.
It tastes like a beef-pork-chicken hybrid.
Somewhat like tenderloin, somewhat like dark meat, and somewhat like liver... it’s an unending and ever-changing curious harmony of flavors.
... why am I describing this like as if I were in some sort of food manga?
‘Hmm, is it really that delicious? I can sense what thou art sensi—hurk!’
Veno remains silent and I hear nothing else from him.
I hear some sort of bubbling noise though.
Veno? What’s wrong?
‘...’
Veno, you alright?!
As much as I care for him, I care more for the food in front of me and continue gobbling down.
My hand is moving on its own.
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