Hellbound Heart

"It's approved." Sebastian told her callously before slipping the phone back into his pocket. "Lucas will be dealing with the rest of the procedures with you. For now..." he paused and sucked in a deep shaky breath. "I need you to... leave. I don't... want to ever see you again." These words he forced himself to say shredded his heart into a million pieces. After today, once she was gone for good, he knew he would be good as dead all over again. Just like how he was before she appeared in his life. Or maybe he would be far worse this time. But it is alright. He was willing to die if that was what it takes to keep her safe.

Not giving her any more chances to react or to process the painful lies that he had cruelly thrown at her, he called out for Lucas and then told her, "Your luggage has been packed and all ready to go. The royal family's private plane is already waiting to transport you back to your country."

The door opened and Lucas's voice rang softly. "Yes, Your Highness."

"Escort the princess to the airport now." Sebastian ordered. Still never once looking back at Elle.

Elle could hardly breathe. Everything seemed to be moving too fast for her to process. She felt like she was freefalling to a certain death. No... even now, she felt like a part of her was already dying.

This pain that was wrapped around her so tightly was nothing like she had ever imagined. She remembered how she used to think about this day when Sebastian finally decides to divorce her. Everything she had imagined before was nothing compared to the reality of it happening at this moment. Right now, she finally realized that no amount of preparation would ever prepare her to face this pain. It was like knowing that a knife was sharp and it would definitely hurt if it cuts your flesh. However, knowing it and actually feeling the blade of the knife slicing into your flesh and drawing blood was worlds apart.

It hurts. It hurt so bad it was killing her.

Part of her wished that she did not hear his story. That she still did not know anything about the abuse he had gone through when he was young. The suffering and the nightmares he was enduring for so long until this day. If she did not know about all those, she would still be stubbornly refusing to back out of this marriage. Maybe, she would be rushing towards him and hugging him from behind, demanding him to turn around and look at her.

But she was no longer ignorant of his history. And it hurt her so much that she could not do anything anymore. Because what else was there that she could do when he... when her Sebastian could no longer see her the same way as before? When he was now seeing that monster in her?

She could not even make herself try to fight for their relationship because she was terrified of his reaction if she dared to try and even touch him. Can she survive more heartbreak if he jerks in disgust the moment she touches him? Would she be able to survive that blow when her heart was already shattered to pieces?

Even if she was dying with pain right now, she could never do anything that would make him suffer even more than he had already suffered. This broken man had suffered enough. If her leaving would make it easier on him and reduce his torment, then she would go even if she was unwilling to leave him.

Her heart protested and cried out as silent tears finally fell from her eyes. She wondered if this pain would ever heal. If she could ever get over him her entire life.

Even though she had signed that agreement between them, she had never thought this was how their story would end...

"Princess..." a weak voice echoed and her eyes lifted to look at Lucas.

"I said to escort her out. Now!" Sebastian's cold voice thundered.

Lucas's face twisted with hesitation. But Elle knew the man did not have any other choice but to obey his master.

She forced a nod at Lucas as she wiped away the tears that were still falling from her eyes. And when Lucas finally moved to open the door, Elle felt like someone was sucking her breath away. The pain was getting more and more unbearable.

Looking at his stiff back one more time, Elle finally turned around. The door was like a gate of hell that was opened wide to her.

Lucas held the door open for her and the moment Elle took a step forward towards it, she could almost hear pieces of her heart falling and shattering like glass being smashed onto the floor. She thought that by the time she was out of the door, there would be nothing left of her heart. She would be leaving her heart back there. No, she did not even have a choice. Her heart decided to be left behind in pieces with him.

Maybe it was better this way... maybe that was a mercy in itself.

Why... why was it so hurt? How could it be this painful? Why? How? She almost laughed brokenly at the answer that her mind screamed at her. 'Because you fell so madly in love with him, stupid.'

She could not even deny it anymore. 'Madly' might even be an understatement. It was unbelievable. It was such a short time. She did not even get the chance to tell him how she felt. And he... he never said those words to her as well.

A heart-wrenching smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 'How tragic.' She thought.

Still, deep within her, she wished she had one more day. Just one more day before that tragic night happened that ended everything. If only she could have one more day... she would definitely tell him. How much she had come to love him. She would tell him over and over again that she loves him. But it was too late now. It was all too late...

She suddenly halted as she stepped on the threshold and whirled around.

Elle stared at his back and then... a hollow, almost lifeless sound escaped from her lips. "I love you."

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