"Iza... that's... I'm..." Sebastian was struggling on how to answer. Fearful that he would say something that would end up hurting her further.
He was scared she would just up and disappear on him and run away again if he ended up uttering something that would worsen the situation. He still couldn't forget those times when he had said something that hurt her bad instead of making her feel better. So now he was really hesitant and careful on what comes from his mouth in a situation where she was very emotional.
But it seems his hesitation didn't do anything but worsen the situation as well.
"I know we didn't start out great at all. What we have now, didn't start with love at all." Elle's eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "I know that... but the fact that it's Alyssa's heart that's within me is making me doubt and wonder if... if you would actually fall for me if I did not have it in me at all. It's what had initially drawn you to me the very first time, after all â€""
"Enough, Iza!" Sebastian gritted his teeth, grabbing her wrist without warning.
"Why? You don't want us to have this conversation? You were the one who wanted us to talk, Sebastian." She retorted almost aggressively. Her overflowing emotions were now consuming her. "Tell me, if I didn't have the strange heartbeat that is exactly the same as your... would you have even taken any interest in me at all?" she gripped her hand over her chest. "If I didn't have Alyssa's heart... would you still want me? Would you have even bothered with me at all? Answer me, Sebastian!" her voice was wavering and a little shrill at the end.
pαпdα Йᴏνê1,сòМ "Stop mentioning that name!!" he growled and when she froze, Sebastian harshly ran his fingers through his hair and cursed. That was totally not how he wanted to behave towards her right now or ever. But she was really not making things easy for him.
"You are being ridiculous right now, Izabelle." He uttered weakly, trying to calm himself.
A quiet tear fell from her eyes as a bitter smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "Right... you're right, I think I'm really being ridiculous." she mumbled to herself, wiping her tears as she pulled her hand out of his grasp.
But Sebastian did not want to let go. He knew he could not let her go. If he did, he would regret it.
"Let go, Sebastian." She tugged at her hand again.
"No, Iza... I'm not letting you go. Not when you're like this." Sebastian even shook his head to push his point across.
"Like this? Like what?! Not when I'm being ridiculous because I am mentioning Alyssa's name and asking things that I wanted to know?" Elle burst out. She did not know what had gotten into her that she would react like this. Usually, she would rather keep everything bottled within until she couldn't take it anymore. But today, everything was just different. Her emotions... her thoughts... her feelings... everything felt out of control. As though she was not able to get a handle on her own self.
Perhaps because of all that had been happening. But still... she could not stop herself from spiraling down south and being overcome by her negative emotions. At this moment, her composure was nowhere to be seen. It was just gone.
"All I wanted is for you to answer me! To tell me that I'm wrong! That I'm just thinking too much! That you'd still want me regardless of what's within me! But you can't even answer that! Now you tell me I'm being ridiculous and growl at me for mentioning her name?!" She pushed at him agitatedly, screaming at him as Sebastian just stood still, letting her slam her palms against his chest, allowing her to spend her anger. "You're the one being ridiculous, Sebastian! You â€""
"How about you?" He cut her off with a deep, neutral voice. "Would you still love me if you don't have that heart within you?"
Elle froze. Her entire world seemed to halt as she stared at him.
"Such a question sounds ridiculous, isn't it, Iza?" he asked her softly.
After a couple of seconds, she could see that he had simply asked that question to make her realize his point. That it was indeed an absurd question to ask.
Somehow, she could now see his point, but...
"No..." her voice was now barely above a whisper as she lowered her eyes, breaking their gazes that were locked into each other. "It's not ridiculous. It's a valid question, Sebastian..."
When she lifted her eyes and their eyes held, it was his turn to become very still.
Whatever he saw in her eyes that moment had done something extreme in him that Elle managed to slip out of his grasp and disappeared before his eyes.
Sebastian rose in panic and desperately grabbed at the air before him.
Surprisingly, he managed to catch her before she could get away and ended up grabbing her from behind.
"F**k..." he uttered a desperate sound as he held her so tightly in his embrace.
"Let go of me, Seb..." she choked out quietly, crying.
"I..." his voice shook. "I did it again, didn't I? I caused you pain again..." he buried his face onto her shoulder, clinging onto her like he would die if he did not hold her tight enough. "I'm sorry, Iza. I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you to... f**k... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." His large body trembled even as he held onto her. He knew that he had almost completely lost her that moment she slipped out of his hold.
"The first time I saw you... my heart had already been acting... strange. Even until now. When you're around, there are times when I feel like this heart within me has a mind of its own that's only responding to you and you alone." She told him with such a heartbreaking look in her eyes. "Since the beginning, I was drawn to you and I couldn't seem to do anything about it no matter how hard I tried to distance myself from you... To put you out of my heart." She smiled bitterly. "You might be right... Sebastian."
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