116.The Second (3)
I lifted Parvache’s body and put it on the table. It looked up at me with its arms folded.
[Questions? What is it?]
I hesitated for a moment and spoke. I didn’t think I could delay it anymore.
“I just had a dream. You came out again. It’s not the totem that you’re wearing now. It’s not that toy. It was a figure close to your source.”
[…]
Parvache looked at me silently, without shedding any thoughts.
“I think we need to talk about something we’ve been putting off for a long time.”
I tried not to get emotional. It was enough to vent my anger in my dream.
The major premise couldn’t be changed. Parvache was my authority, and it wouldn’t do anything to harm me. Thus, it couldn’t lie to me.
However, it was possible to answer only part of the truth to my question. My magic that captured him into the authority was rough and crude. At that time, I wasn’t skilled enough to anticipate and block the number of different cases. In the first place, the contract of authority itself wasn’t executed in the realm of consciousness.
I replied with my guess, “The Silver Forest’s Truth-Seeker smashed some of the fragments in my heart.”
The question was whether he did it.
Then Parvache’s answer came back without any hesitation.
[That’s right, Min-joon. It was the ‘safety device’ I planted.]
He responded so calmly that I almost became angry at the moment. I tried to suppress it. I repeated myself once again. Parvache couldn’t hurt me. His actions couldn’t be mixed with malice or hostility toward me.
I managed to keep my cool and opened my mouth.
“I have two questions. Why did you do that? And why didn’t you tell me honestly?”
Parvache turned its plastic eyes, whose emotion toward me couldn’t be read.
[Do you remember the first time I was summoned to this world, Min-joon?]
“Yes, how can I forget.”
[You have first mistaken me for a robot in a fictional story, then you were puzzled by my reaction, but over time you were delighted.]
“…”
[I think your pure wish that summoned me through the Channel is probably something like this. I want to have something that exists only for me, with 100% trust, which is entirely on my side.]
100% trust, but I wasn’t sure if that would be possible anymore, even though I knew in my head that betrayal was impossible.
[It’s a coincidence that I was caught in that summon because you made me, a mental body, possess the totem. You laughed purely and were very happy since your wish came true, but, Min-joon…]
He picked up his words carefully for a moment.
[Have you ever put yourself in my shoes? What did I think right after being summoned to this world?]
“…”
Parvache said, looking down at the robot toy it contained.
[As soon as I was called into this world, the contract was made. How you succeeded that time is still a mystery, but as a result, I ended up in your authority. Of course, I’m not protesting about it. From the moment the magic was completed, thoughts of how to protect you filled my head. It is the same now. Emotion or reason does not disappear, but the direction is focused on one place, and even for me to exist, I had to find a way to protect you because I don’t have a stable body.]
I nodded quietly.
[And Min-joon, back to the first story, do you know what emotions I felt after understanding the circumstances of coming out to this world?]
“… No.”
Honestly, I never thought deeply. Parvache looked into my eyes and spoke.
[It was a terrible fear.]
“… What?”
[The summoner I need to protect is a young human. However, your wizard’s talent is excellent to the point of worrying about it bursting if someone doesn’t control it.]
He continued talking.
[But there was no knowledge of magic in this world. Now I know that it was because of the Truth-Seeker’s anti-magic power, but there was no clue at that time.]
His calm thoughts continued to flow into my head.
[Moreover, the seed of the Channel is left on your chest. The Truth-Seeker of the Earth who planted it is missing. Twenty years later, the Truth-Seeker’s ‘harvest’ is scheduled, but you don’t know how to avoid and prevent it. Worst of all, this world was a young dimension with no record on the Akashic Records. It was impossible to obtain information by relying on the report of absolute knowledge.]
I understand what it was talking about…
[The information is scarce. The danger posed in front of the man who summoned me was both absolute and clear. I was desperate to think of a way to protect you.]
“… So, you mean you planted that in my mind?”
[Yeah.]
“How did that fragment lead my way of thinking?”
[Of course, it isn’t like mental manipulation. I just wanted to get you into the habit of being careful and hiding. Think about it, Min-joon. You were an 8-year-old kid then. A robot came into your hand, talking to a child who couldn’t understand everything that was going on. There’s no way it’s possible at that age to keep it secret, right? Not only to your mother but also at your school, can’t you remember going around talking about it randomly?]
Yes, so I had a lot of difficulties while attending school for a while.
[The first time I planted the fragment was when you were eight years old. Remember the day you collapsed in the kitchen from the flu?]
Aah… yes. At that time, the kitchen of the house I used to live in was outside, and there was no heating. On the day when no one was at home, I went out to get something and fell on a cold tiled floor.
That day, before I lost my consciousness, Parvache urgently cried out. It said it would intervene in my mind and ask me to ‘allow’ it. I replied in my heart, saying, ‘I allow it,’ before my vision became dark.
[While you lost your consciousness, I moved your body and came back into the room. The day I first entered your mental world, I planted the fragment. After that, I continued to maintain it. Remember? Since that day, you have gradually stopped talking about me.]
That was a little different from my memory. I remembered that I stopped talking about Parvache due to the cold reaction around me, but…
Parvache was using his hands.
[Even if it is a story no one believes, I thought it would be dangerous to keep leaking information like that. In addition to that, I induced your trust in me and thinking so that you learn magic faithfully as I lead. It led you to never give up on magic learning and survival. For example, it is like a will to regain your mind even if your two legs fly away while setting up a barrier.]
“…”
[The fragment was not completed as soon as it was planted. It was completed on the day when I first offered to teach you magic. It took almost a year to teach magic after being summoned because this preparation took time. After all, I couldn’t teach magic to a child who couldn’t keep a secret.]
That part was as expected, however…
“You could have told me!”
He shook his head.
[At the time, you were too young to understand all of this. After you were getting older, I was thinking of telling you about this and removing the fragment myself.]
I threw a sarcastic comment without realizing it.
“When? The hell… Is 23 years old too young to tell the truth?”
[… Honestly, I was afraid. Min-joon.]
… What?
[The day we first met the Truth-Seeker of Silver Forest… When I learned that the Dragon was dead, I thought about retrieving the fragments.]
He continued.
[But I put it on hold because I thought that you, who lost your goal in life, could give up everything and become indolent. Actually, you tended to do that. When I saw you feeling extreme boredom, my mind changed. Even though there are still countless Channels left in the world and threats from alien races, you felt helpless. You didn’t stop training at all because there were fragments I planted. I think so.]
“…”
[You’re still flexible in thinking, and you’re old enough to change your values. The moment the fragments I planted disappeared, the moment the guiding medium that led your actions disappeared, I was afraid of how you would change. I was afraid you’d neglect your more important life because of your emotions, but…]
He nodded and spoke.
[I don’t worry about that anymore.]
Yes, things had changed a bit, but just because I understand rationally, it didn’t mean it kept up with my emotions. I was silent for a moment without saying anything. The stinging stillness sat down heavily on the table.
I opened my mouth after being lost in thought for a while.
“To be honest, Parvache…”
[Hmm?]
“It’s unpleasant. I can’t feel good.”
[I understand.]
“You should’ve told me at least at the point where I was able to get the right idea.”
[…]
“I can’t touch the contract of authority that I made then. I just have to be committed.”
That contract couldn’t be amended or renewed at that time. It wasn’t a magic created through a formal contract like other magic contracts. The case was different. It had to be destroyed and recreated.
I didn’t want to take the risk of breaking the contract, even if it was temporary.
I asked myself. Did I need Parvache despite the suspicions I had confirmed at that moment?
The answer came back easily. Yes, I needed him.
“I understand your intentions. The part that you were worried about me as a child, but I can’t help thinking that you should have told me the truth later.”
[… Yeah.]
“My head understands that your actions were inevitable… but honestly, it’s a bit complicated. So, at least you should make a promise here. Never leave anything weird in my mind that way again. I hope you don’t even control information by telling only part of the truth.”
[Okay, Min-joon.]
I know its intention. However, it couldn’t be overlooked without any concern.
Whew, I took a big breath and swept my face down. I was so tired.
At the last moment, there was something I swallowed without saying. The word “if something like this happens again…” My head got complicated, so I wanted to run away. I put a hold on thinking, and I thought I would have to spend more time thinking about what to do in the future.
“Let’s talk again after arranging our thoughts a bit more.”
[Yes, I got it.]
“There’s one more thing I need to check now.”
[What is it?]
“The fragments that you planted in my heart, it’s clear that it’s already destroyed, right?”
[Yes, it must be.]
“But I keep seeing strange scenes in my dreams these days.”
I explained to Parvache what I had just dreamed of. A being in a dream that was talking about something completely different from my ordinary consciousness. The shell was borrowed from Parvache’s form, but its words and actions were completely different.
After listening to me, Parvache thought for a moment and told me.
[You said there was something like black smoke hovering around that figure?]
“That’s right.”
That was the part I was concerned about. Probably, Parvache seemed to be speculating in a similar direction to me.
[There is only one thing that reminds me of that word in this situation.]
The memories Yodmo took from me. 90% of the memories it gave back to me without digestion or interpretation. It was said that it was clearly digested and looked like black smoke.
“You’re guessing that memory is affecting me, aren’t you?”
[Yeah, there’s nothing special about it other than that.]
“It’s so suspicious. It was like trying to force me to feel guilty. But I usually don’t think about it at all? Even assuming that the thoughts are locked in the unconscious, the situation is too blatant. The way it turns out.”
Parvache nodded his head.
[But the unidentified memory was originally from you, Min-joon, but why does it suddenly affect you only now?]
There are probably two possibilities.
“The memory may have a deep connection to my plans for the future, or it may be because Yodmo passed it on to me rather than digesting some of it.”
It was initially a tiny, extremely compressed memory crystal. Since Yodmo gave it back to me after digesting it to some extent, the outer skin of the hard, iron-wall crystals might’ve been lifted and weakened to some extent. The fact that the memory which was burning with black smoke affected my mind little by little…
[A memory that even Yodmo couldn’t interpret affects you…]
It was very uncomfortable.
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