Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One

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Volume 1 – Chapter 13: Glasses For Life

In the quiet alley, two fights were going on.

Glasses Bro hurriedly threw a pair of glasses and quickly moved away from his spot. The place he threw the glasses to exploded with plasma, causing the area to disintegrate into dust.

"Glasses MK. 3! I definitely won't let your sacrifice be in vain!" Glasses Bro sorrowfully looked at the pair of glasses he threw out.

"What kind of occasion do you think it is?! You still have the frame of mind to care about a pair of glasses? Xiao Zhan yelled as he looked at the person holding two plasma grenades in his hands. "Weren't you on a team with them? Do you know anything about their abilities?"

The still silent member of the Golden Triangle faced the two of them and started shooting the plasma cannons. It was accompanied by the roaring sound of plasma fire and explosions.

"My Glasses MK. 2!!!" Glasses Bro wailed sorrowfully from the floor above.

"Dude! What are you doing? Isn't it just a pair of glasses?" Xiao Zhan asked.

"You don't understand the feelings I have for those two pairs," said Glasses Bro.

"Those were really high-end glasses!"

"Tch, at least tell us what his abilities are!" Xiao Zhan asked disdainfully.

"He's the third member of the Golden Triangle and is half-man, half-machine. He is in charge of the long-range firepower of the three. The one that Lin Jie smashed flying into the wall is the second member. He has the ability to strengthen his body, but it seems there's no need to worry about him." Glasses Bro said, "What kind of person is Lin Jie? Ai, even C-level heroes can't handle the power of his morningstar. Even the Wintry Witch had mentioned that Lin Jie has a record of insta-killing two B-level opponents."

"Oh crap! They found us!" Xiao Zhan suddenly said.

His words had just come out from his mouth when No.3, who was on the ground, suddenly turned towards them and released two plasma shots from his sides.The shots flew through the air towards them. Not letting the two above him react,Golden Triangle Team's No.3 already flew onto the roof in a perfect line.

"They've even installed a flying function?" Xiao Zhan said in shock.

"Let's first focus on figuring out a way to deal with this bastard!" Glasses Bro said and then threw a pair of glasses towards the Golden Triangle's third member. In the next moment, his body appeared right in front of the third member, holding twoelectric rods that he swung ferociously at the third member.

Facing the attack from Glasses Bro, who suddenly appeared right in front him, No.3 actually decided to not dodge. Instead, he raised his robotic arm to meet Glasses Bro's attack.

The electric batons in Glasses Bro's hands collided with the robotic arm. The crackling electricity of the electric powered batons that met with the robotic arm was completely unable to hurt No.3 at all.

In the next moment, the plasma cannon which had just finished charging was aimed right at Glasses Bro's abdomen. There was a bright electric flash.

"My Glasses MK. 4 ah!" At that moment, Glasses Bro returned to his original position.

"Tch, what an annoying pest." No.3 couldn't help clicking his tongue under his opponent's continuous attempts to hit him.

"Your weapons won't do, use mine!" Xiao Zhan said as he took out a pixelated object.^[1] One could very vaguely see that it was some sort of stick shaped object. It was somehow modified by Xiao Zhan to include a button that when pressed, released shockingly strong vibration waves.

"What the f*ck is this! You actually brought a device that has a captcha lock function!" Glasses Bro dodged the plasma cannon shots as he retorted. "And why is this guy constantly firing towards me ah?"

"This is my newest modification to the Evil Elutriating Electrified Pitchfork 3000. I've added a completely new optical effect to it. I've discovered after adding this modification, it raises the deterrent power against villains by at least 400%. At the same time, it causes the opponents to become befuddled over what this weapon actually is." Xiao Zhan proudly explained.

"Just holding this thing makes you a pervert, alright!" Glasses Bro said as he appeared next to Xiao Zhan. "This thing has to be censored before bringing it outside!!"

"Really? I was thinking about mass producing it to sell in the future." Xiao Zhan said.

"If you have the time to research this kind of product, why don't you help me first!" Glasses Bro said to Xiao Zhan.

At that moment, Glasses Bro had already been captured by a robotic arm around his neck. And the plasma cannon in No.3's other hand was already nearly done charging.

"Catch!" Xiao Zhan shouted and threw a pixelated stick-shaped thing.

The first thing No.3 saw was a pixelated stick-like thing fly towards his face, causing him to have a strange feeling. He subconsciously wanted to tilt his head to dodge it, but then reacted and felt that something was wrong. After all, he had just heard the conversation between Xiao Zhan and Glasses Bro.

Even though he knew that it was the opponent who threw the weapon to Glasses Bro, no matter who it was, if they were to see this toy flying at their face, they wouldn't have a different reaction.

Glasses Bro took advantage of the opportunity, using one hand, he grabbed onto that Evil Elutriating Electrified Pitchfork and swung fiercely at No.3's non-robotic shoulder.

"AH! It feels good!!" A rapturous cry of joy resounded throughout the entire rooftop.

Xiao Zhan turned on his anti-gravity shoes, kicked off the ground, and flew towards No.3 in the air. When he arrived at the currently bewildered No.3's side, he grabbed the robotic foot of No.3 and started drawing circles in the air with it, coiling the foot all the way behind No.3.

"It's finally time for you to experience my strength!" Xiao Zhan shouted while stabbing the stick-shaped object in his hands towards Golden Triangle's No.3.

"AH!" A burst of painful shouts that were coupled with excitement and a hint of bashfulness resounded out. In the midst of the bashfulness was a sudden longing moan that echoed throughout the entire airspace.

……

Downstairs, in the small alleyway.

"No.3, that piece of trash, he was actually taken care of by those two bastards." The Golden Triangle's leader was dancing around in the air like a demon.

Lin Jie's morningstar was perfectly aligned with his head as he swung downwards. Too bad it missed though.

The leader of the Golden Triangle didn't know when he had flown to Lin Jie's back.

"I can tell that your strength is very great, but the problem with such great strength is that it's completely useless if you can't hit your opponent." The leader said arrogantly from Lin Jie's back. But at that time, Lin Jie's morningstar was already heading towards his head. Yet the Golden Triangle's leader used the same method to fly past Lin Jie's side. "Let me tell you, people like you who only know how to use brute force can't even touch the hem of my clothes."

"You really know how to spout rubbish. Tell me honestly, do you really wanna fight? You've only been flashing back and forth, refusing to meet my attacks." Lin Jie said, "Don't tell me… you only know how to run away like a monkey?"

"Are you underestimating me?" He produced two laser daggers, "I was just merely letting you experience the disparity in strength between us. Now, I'm going to attack for real."

"Oh? I get it. Just now, your words and actions were just imitating Thirteen." Something had just dawned upon Lin Jie.

"I merely need 5 seconds to dispose of you." The leader of the Golden Triangle, No.1, said.

As soon as he said that, he flew over to Lin Jie's side, the laser dagger in his hand stabbing towards the small of Lin Jie's back.

Lin Jie slid to the side, dodging the Golden Triangle leader's stab. The morningstar in Lin Jie's hand was swinging towards him, but it was impeded by the wall.

"Ha, did you think about how limited your weapon is in such a small alleyway?" No.1 sneered, and stabbed the laser dagger in his other hand towards Lin Jie.

But just when his arm shot out, he clearly heard the loud sound of a wall being shattered.

The next moment, dust and smoke filled the entire alley. No.1 appeared outside of the dust and smoke.

After the dust settled, No.1 could see that punched into the wall was a huge circular hole. The other wall was also in the same state.

"It's been 5 seconds." Lin Jie said.

"I didn't think that you would be this strong. The materials these walls were constructed out of are as hard as steel." No.1 was amazed. "The stronger you are, the more the president will compensate me."

"Yawn!!" Lin Jie let out a yawn. "Oh right, Lin Wan and company should almost be done with their shopping by now."

“You should think about yourself first." Saying that, No.1's body started emitting a dark mist. "I was originally saving this for C-level opponents, unfortunately for you, you will now be my Ink Shadow Mode'sfirst victim."

After saying that, No.1 appeared at Lin Jie's side, and just when Lin Jie turned his head, No.1 disappeared from his eyes.

"My Ink Shadow Mode increases my speed tenfold! Now you can't catch up with my speed anymore." No.1's voice resounded throughout the small alleyway.

"It's about time, I should get ready to go back." Lin Jie muttered to himself.

"You think you can leave?" No.1's silhouette appeared right behind Lin Jie, the laser dagger in his hand ready to thrust into Lin Jie's back. But in the next moment, a finger knocked into his forehead.

"What! This is impossible!" No.1 realized he didn't even notice when Lin Jie had turned around!

"Quite a lot of time has passed… it’s time." Lin Jie said.

The Golden Triangle's leader suddenly felt a deep sense of crisis and used his fastest speed to disappear from the spot. When he reappeared, there was an extra person by his side. It was Lin Jie.

"When did you…" He hadn't finished talking when Lin Jie's fist lightly punched into his stomach. And just when his waist had bent, he was astonished to find out that he hadn't noticed when Lin Jie's Morningstar appeared between his legs.

"Let me show you what a ball-breaking pain in the ass really is," Lin Jie faintly said. Then he swung the spiked club upwards ruthlessly.

Following the sound of eggs cracking and foam spewing from his mouth, No.1's whole body went flying.

……

On the rooftop, No.3 had already been tied up like a dumpling.

"Finally done with this bastard." Xiao Zhan said, "My weapons are very effective, right? Now, I hope you can answer some of my questions."

"You guys always bullied me, but now I finally have a chance to take revenge!" Glasses Bro looked at No.3. "Today, I will take revenge on behalf of my glasses that were sacrificed."

"Hehehehe." The previously silent No.3 suddenly sneered at them and said, "You people believe that by defeating me everything would be solved? Wait til boss gets rid of your friend and then let you all despair."

Saying that, No.3 produced an arrogant laugh.

It was just then that The Golden Triangle No.1's body, still spewing froth from his mouth, flew in front of their eyes. He was cupping his balls as he flew upwards. It was unsure whether he was alive or dead.

"Your boss was still clenching his eggs as he went to heaven." Xiao Zhan looked at Golden Triangle's boss before turning his vision back to the person in front of him.

"Found you guys." Lin Jie quickly spoke up upon seeing Xiao Zhan and co. at the adjacent building.

"I understand. I'll leave the future matters up to you guys. Please don't harm my precious jewels. I don't have any descendants yet."

"What's with the sudden change in tune?"

"It's nothing much. I have old and young to take care of, even coming out to work for food isn't easy. Please be charitable and let me go, just ask whatever you want."

"Oh my word, weren’t you laughing very arrogantly just now? You really made a big turnaround in attitude ah!"

"It's because I had believed in my boss when I came along. Now that boss is gone, if I continue to be arrogant, I definitely won't experience any good outcomes. Actually, I also don't want to be clutching my eggs as I'm about to go to heaven."

"Tactful."

"Sorry about what happened earlier. I won't boast anymore. Please let me go."

….

Footnotes:

[1]Think of it as censorship… you know, in certain videos and pictures and… other things.

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