When Zhong Feng returned to Westend, he went directly to Hu Lei's apartment instead of the penthouse. He thought that if Hu Lei had left a hint about her whereabouts, it would be there. He ransacked the house and looked through every corner, but there was nothing relating to her absence.
He felt frustrated as he paced through the house. After a few moments, he decided to go to the penthouse, even though he felt that there was no way there could be a clue there. After all, they lived there almost every day, and he had not noticed anything unusual.
When he got there, he looked through all the places in which he did not spend too much time. If Hu Lei had left something, it would be in a place he could not have looked easily. He checked her wardrobe and her nightstand. He went to the guest bedroom where she sometimes spent her time writing.
But there was nothing.
He returned to the living room with frustration. He could not calm down and think. He sat down in front of the TV where they usually cuddled as they watched movies or the nonsensical idol dramas that Hu Lei liked. His hands clenched.
He had to find her.
As he looked at the TV, he noticed the painting that she had placed on the wall over it not too long ago with Pierre's help. It was the painting that he had seen in the studio in Russia when he went to see Vladimir Romanov a couple of years back.
She had told him that it was a wedding gift for them from Pierre and Vlad. So, they could only show appreciation by giving it a prominent place in their home.
Though he did not have a lot of positive feelings for those two, he did like the painting because he loved its subject. He looked at it for a long moment before he stood up with a start.
He rushed to the painting and lifted it off its hook. He placed it on the table facedown and looked at the backing paper behind. He did not hesitate while tearing the material with shaking hands. He hoped he was right.
After removing the paper, he found a pink envelope stuck in the back. His breath came out unsteadily as he picked it up. He carefully opened it, fearing to cause damage to its contents. He took out the letter inside which had a slight flowery scent.
Then, he read it.
Ah-Feng,
I hope that we will read this letter when we are old and grey-haired. However, I have come to understand that things rarely go as well as we hope. Moreover, I have a clear understanding of my weaknesses and general condition. So, chances are you are reading this shortly after I hid it.
And if you are, it means that something has happened to me, and you cannot find me.
For a while now, I have been experiencing blackouts. Well, they are not exactly blackouts. Let's call them dissociations. When I am emotionally distressed, I am unable to handle the dark thoughts and feelings. So, I end up retreating from reality and allow the side of me which can handle the stress to come out.
Well, at least, that is what Dr Huo told me.
I originally looked for her because I thought that I had multiple personality disorder. But she said it is more likely that I have an identity disturbance disorder. It has to do with the fragmentation of my personality and lack of cohesion between my negative and positive sides or something.
I have tried not to think too much about it. Dr Huo assured me that she has ideas on treatment, but I have been a little hesitant because I am afraid.
Anyway, I am just rambling on and on, and you probably don't care about that right now. You probably just want me to tell you where I have gone.
Sadly, I do not know.
When I am my regular self, I am difficult to find if I do not want to be found. And if I ran, I am probably not my regular self. She is craftier, more powerful and a lot harder to find. If I were to offer any help, it will probably make it harder to find us.
I know this letter is not what you were hoping for, and it has not given you any help for finding me.
However, I have faith in you. You know me well enough to find me. In spite of the situation, you should remember that she is me and I am her.
After this pointless soliloquy, I will give you some real help in capturing me.
When you find me, I am unlikely to come with you without a fight. I do not know the situation which has led me to run away, but I will probably be trapped in my mind which I must say is a dark place. Normal sedatives will not work in calming me down. So, I left a special concoction in the back of your safe. (It is not as secure as you think). One shot of this should take me out no matter how resilient I am.
Ah-Feng, I am sorry.
I wish I did not have to ask you to do this.
I love you. No matter who I am or who I will become, I will always love you.
I hope to see you soon.
Your cutest wife,
Xiao Lei.
Zhong Feng clutched the letter and took a deep breath. The letter did not provide much information, but it made him a little more grounded. Reading the rambling words of Hu Lei, he felt like he could think a little more clearly.
He could not think of Xiao Lei as a lost person loitering without purpose. She was trained and smart. He needed to put himself in her mindset and find her as fast as possible. Otherwise, knowing her, she would probably not stay in one place for long.
He frowned.
She was injured. But she would not probably go to a hospital. A gunshot wound would draw attention, and she would not risk being found by more of her assailants. In her mindset, she would most likely assume she was being pursued by assassins and therefore, would prioritise hiding until she recovered enough to run.
For the first time in a long day, Zhong Feng's lips stretched into a small smile.
He knew where she was.
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