How To Raise Your Regressor

"Next time, please use a barrier or something," I complained as I took out a comb to try and salvage my hairstyle.

Seriously, do people these days don't have any common sense?

Oh right, she's from New Dawn Guild. My bad.

"I'll keep that in mind next time, young lady."

And now she's being sexist. Can someone report her on twitter, please?

"There won't be a next time."

"That would be an incredible shame, don't you think?" Jennifer smiled shakily.

Her acting skills are top notch as always.

"You have only yourself to blame for that."

Imagine flying at Mach 50 and not erecting a barrier to protect oneself and the others from air resistance. Stupid asshole.

"Ah, such a pity," she exaggeratedly clutched her chest in pain.

This almost seems like an interaction between a young lady of a noble household and her personal butler- who's also a transmigrator (because that's the norm nowadays)- who are secretly in love with each other but cannot openly express it because of their circumstances.

So they can only act ridiculously like this to show their fondness for each other.

Yikes.

"Also, couldn't we have used something more normal, like a carriage or a taxi?"

I much prefer a nice, relaxing carriage ride than high speed air travel that ruins my hairstyle.

I mean, we are here for a party, so we must look presentable.

Hmm? Why do I suddenly want to look 'presentable' for a party that I didn't even want to attend, you ask?

Don't sweat the small details, mate. If you think about it, you lose.

…

Aight, fine.

Look, it was either that, or looking worse than Jennifer, a probationary wanker of the New Dawn Guild.

I may be nihilistic and suicidal but being worse than anyone from the New Dawn Guild is where I draw the line.

Huh.

In hindsight, I really should have donned a three-piece suit instead of my usual shirt and pyjamas.

Whatever.

"We can't take a month to arrive at a party on the night of the same day, can we?"

Fair point.

"Don't you have any, I dunno, high speed transportation methods from your world? Something that could cross countries in mere minutes?"

Like a bullet train, for example, or a mach 10 aeroplane, or maybe a spaceship.

"Of course, we do, but the industries and technology of this world are simply too backwards to implement them here. It'll take several generations of technological advancement before we can even think of bringing something like that to this world."

Another fair point.

"How un-fantasy like."

Since when have Regressor stories been so realistic? We don't need that kind of realism here, okay?

Like, imagine starting a Regressor novel hoping to see some edgy braindead action and a harem of girls/bois throwing themselves at the MC to escape from your own reality, but instead, you are greeted with a world that's more realistic than your own life.

That would be a yikes from me, as well as a signal that it is perhaps time to end my reality.

"Reality is often disappointing."

"But what if reality could be whatever I want?"

Don't DMCA me please.

"You'd probably kill yourself then."

Damn, she's good.

"You know me well."

"…" Jennifer squinted at me.

Oh shit, don't tell me she was just joking.

"Needless to say, that was just a joke."

"I didn't say anything, though."

"Imagine thinking speaking is the only form of communication. Cringe."

"What are you, a 13-year-old…" she sighed.

"Yes."

"Anyway, let's go."

"We're already here."

We're literally standing in front of the door of the bday boi's house. Where else does she want me to go?

Jennifer glanced at me with a small sigh, then knocked on the door.

"Comiiiing!" A young, lively voice responded from the other side.

The next moment, the door opened and revealed a little girl, probably around 9-10 years old.

"Aunt Jennifer!" Her eyes sparkled in glee and she jumped into the arms of the Guild Leader.

Contrary to my expectations (which was Jennifer beating the shit out of this child for calling her aunt), Jennifer bent down a little and caught the young child in her embrace.

She even hugged the little girl back.

Holy shit.

To make the haughty Guild Leader of the motherfucking bloody bois I mean THE Old Blood Guild, Jennifer La Graes (or whatever the fuck her last name is) kneel down and hug her, just who the fuck is this girl?

She's more of a main character than Azell is.

Maybe, just maybe, she is the regressor.

Wish I had a way of knowing it.

Hmm, now that I think about it, how did I know Azell was a regressor?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh right, I have a status like ability that is ABSOLUTELY useless. Wow.

Let's use it. Hope I still have it.

NAME: Dora Palatine

TITLE:

No titles, which means she's a noob, but more importantly, she's not a Regressor. A shame.

"I'm sorry for being late, Dora," Jennifer apologised, and to my surprise, she seemed genuinely apologetic.

Jokes aside, it should be safe to assume that… uh, right, Dora is close to Jennifer. Jennifer wouldn't be so excited about this bday party, otherwise, and neither would she be sorry for being late.

And considering that Jennifer is the only one from the bloody bois here (I don't count because I'm a New Dawn Guild wanker), it should be safe to assume that not many people know about Dora's existence.

There could be several reasons for that, but considering how popular Jennifer is in this entire country, it is highly likely that Dora's existence- or her relationship with Jennifer- was deliberately kept secret.

Which makes sense when we look at how many enemies someone like Jennifer would have.

As history has taught us, it is downright foolish to expect your enemies to be humane; they wouldn't hesitate to take your close ones hostage if that's what it took to take you down.

But that assumption contradicts my existence here. If Jennifer has kept Dora a secret, it makes absolutely no sense to bring moi, practically a stranger, to this place.

After all, she still has no idea about what type of person I really am and what my motives for coming to her guild are. In the worst-case scenario, I might harm Dora.

Is Jennifer naïve enough to trust me enough to bring me here just because Azell vouched for me?

Even if Jennifer is a probationary wanker of the New Dawn Guild, I doubt she's this stupid.

Which means there is a deeper reason for me being here.

"Your thoughts are written on your face," Jennifer's wry smile brought me back from my reveries.

"It IS a thing to be pondered over."

"Who's this?" Dora innocently looked at me.

"I brought a friend for you," Jennifer smiled warmly.

Oi.

"A friend…" Dora's eyes sparkled in excitement.

OI.

Don't tell me I have to act all buddy-buddy with a literal child. Just kill me now.

"He's here to celebrate your birthday with you. Why don't you take him inside?"

"Yay!" Dora freed herself from Jennifer and grabbed my hand. "Let's go!"

Goddamnit.

"Hey, don't forget your aunt," I made a desperate effort to save myself.

I'll ignore Jennifer's glare.

"Oh, right!" Dora also grabbed Jennifer's arm and dragged both of us inside.

Time for the bday party, I guess.

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