As I loosened the collar of my shirt, revealing the pale skin of my neck, I couldn't help but feel the weight of this moment pressing down on me. The vulnerability in Maya's eyes mirrored the storm swirling inside me. And yet, as I watched her struggle to suppress her desires, I realized something had been gnawing at me for a while.
Something that had taken root deep in my heart, quietly growing until I could no longer ignore it.
Maya… she reminded me of her. Of Estelle.
Ever since we started spending time together, I found myself seeing Estelle's traits in Maya more and more. It wasn't just her kindness or her unrelenting desire to help people, though that certainly played a part. There was something more—a deeper connection I couldn't fully comprehend until now.
'Is that why I feel this way?'
Just like Maya, Estelle had always put others first, even when it came at her own expense. She had this unshakable will to support those around her, lifting them up when they were at their lowest. Maya carried the same spirit, always offering me a light when I was trapped in darkness. I couldn't shake the thought that every time she reached out to help me, it felt like Estelle was still watching over me, guiding me through her.
And then there were those moments, the ones where Maya's mischievous expressions broke through her usual calm demeanor. It was uncanny. The way her eyes would sparkle when she was about to tease me or when she'd poke fun at my seriousness. Estelle had always been the same—able to break through my defenses with just a look, a playful smirk that made me forget, even if only for a moment, about the burden of responsibility. f
'Estelle, you… would've liked her,' I thought, a strange ache forming in my chest. Would you have been proud of me for finding someone like her? For some reason, I could imagine Estelle watching us, her gaze warm, approving, even though I knew she wasn't there. But Maya's presence felt like a link to the past, a bridge between the person I had been and the person I was becoming.
I was scared. Scared of how much Maya reminded me of her.
Scared of the emotions stirring inside me, emotions I hadn't allowed myself to feel in a long time.Estelle had been everything to me, and her loss had forced me to close off parts of my heart to shut away the pain that came with attachment. I had conditioned myself to live without those emotions, to focus only on survival and the mission ahead.
But now… now there was something more. Maya wasn't Estelle, and yet she was becoming just as important, just as irreplaceable.
I had always told myself I'd repay the kindness Maya had shown me, that I'd find a way to balance the scales. But deep down, I knew it wasn't just about repaying her. It was about the fear. The fear that if I allowed myself to care again, I might lose her too. That maybe, if I let her into my heart, I'd be setting myself up for the same kind of pain I'd experienced before.
But that was the utter disrespect that I could have towards someone.
This was what I realized after the talk I had with Dakota not long ago, one that had struck a chord deep within me.
How she was seeing someone in me.
I had been doing exactly that—seeing Estelle in Maya, instead of seeing Maya for who she truly was. And that wasn't fair. Not to Maya, and not to Estelle's memory.
Maya cared about me. I wasn't blind. She made it clear with every gesture, every time she stood by my side, even when I pushed her away. She didn't deserve to be seen as a replacement for someone else. She had her own story, her own struggles, and she had made a place for herself in my life, carving out a space that was hers alone.
If it had been me before, before everything that happened with Estelle… there was a good chance I would have taken advantage of her vulnerability. I would have let her fill that empty space in my heart, selfishly allowing myself to lean on her without offering anything in return.
But things were different now. I had changed.
In one way or another, Maya had already become a part of my life, someone irreplaceable, and I couldn't let myself disrespect that. I couldn't treat her like someone who existed just to fix the broken parts of me.
Her trust in me, the way she had opened up about her family's deepest secrets—it wasn't something I could take lightly. The amount of faith she was putting into me, the way she laid bare her vulnerabilities, made everything that much harder. Because I knew, eventually, I'd have to respond to those feelings. I couldn't keep taking without giving something in return.
Maya deserved more than that. She deserved honesty. She deserved someone who could see her for who she was, not someone haunted by the past. And if I wasn't careful, if I kept holding back, I'd be doing exactly what I feared the most—hurting someone I cared about.
That was the reason why I was doing this.
'I won't disrespect you. I won't take advantage of your trust or your vulnerability. You've given me too much for me to do that.'
If I were such a person, I would become a disgrace to the person I wanted to avenge.
As I looked into Maya's eyes, I could see something more than the emotions she was trying to suppress. With the improvements to my eyes, the mana flows became more vivid, more defined.
Her aura was swirling with conflicting energies, clashing in a battle she was waging within herself. On one side, I saw the soft green mana, familiar and gentle—her human side, the side she had fought so hard to maintain.
But on the other side, a dark red force raged against it—her vampiric urges, powerful and unrelenting.
The collision of the two forces was violent, and it became clearer to me just how much effort she was putting into holding herself back. Her muscles were tight, her hands trembling as she tried to control the impulses that threatened to overwhelm her.
I could see how hard she was clenching her jaw, how her body was straining under the weight of that internal struggle. The symptoms of withdrawal were undeniable. The fact that she was standing here, in front of me, still able to hold on, made me respect her even more.
Maya's entire body seemed locked in a state of tension, like a tightly coiled spring ready to snap. Yet, despite the clear pain she was in, she was fighting. Fighting to maintain control, fighting not to give in. I could see it all.
That was why this person deserved all the respect.
Even now, just to adorn the promise that she had made, she is doing this.
"Senior," I said softly, watching as Maya's entire body trembled with the effort to hold herself back. "It's okay. You can come."
Her reaction was immediate—her shoulders shook, and I could see the battle in her eyes. She took in a sharp breath, her hands curling into fists at her sides. "I don't… I don't want to be a slave to this," she whispered, her voice laced with desperation. "I don't want to give in, Junior… I can't."
I smiled faintly, the gesture soft, understanding. "Nothing in this world works that way, Senior. You've done more than enough already. No one can reach the skies from where they are in just one step." Her gaze locked with mine, her pink eyes filled with the weight of her internal struggle. I could see the doubt in her expression, the fear of what might happen if she let herself go. But behind that fear, there was also exhaustion, the kind that comes from fighting too long without reprieve.
A single tear slipped down her cheek, catching the soft light of the room as it fell. She took one hesitant step forward, her voice trembling. "Is it really… okay?"
"It is," I replied, my tone calm and steady. "Contrary to before, I'm a lot stronger now. You can drink freely, as much as you need."
Her lips quivered at my words, but I could see the hesitation slowly fading from her eyes. She took another step toward me, her movements careful, as if still afraid to lose control. But I didn't move back. I didn't flinch. I stayed exactly where I was, meeting her gaze with the same calm, unwavering resolve I'd shown her since the beginning.
"You may come, Senior," I said softly. "It is really fine."
Maya closed the final distance between us, her trembling hand reaching up to rest against my chest, just over my heart. The thudding of my pulse echoed in my ears, but I stayed steady. For her. I wouldn't let her fall into the abyss alone.
Her tears kept falling, but I saw the relief beginning to break through the fear. She leaned into me, and as her fangs grazed the skin of my neck, I could feel her struggle easing, the weight finally lifting off her shoulders.
The moment her fangs pierced my skin, I braced myself for the familiar sting, the sharp pain I had grown accustomed to each time she fed. But this time… it was different.
Instead of pain, a strange warmth spread through my neck. It was almost… pleasant. The sensation was foreign but not unpleasant. As she drank from me, I felt a wave of calm wash over me, like a gentle tide easing the tension in my muscles. It didn't hurt. In fact, it felt good—almost too good.
I could feel my blood being drawn into her, each gulp slow and deliberate, her hunger evident. But instead of feeling drained or weak as I usually did, something was changing inside me. My body was responding in ways I didn't expect.
'What is this?' I wondered, my mind sharpening as I focused inward.
I felt a strange surge—my mana shifting, flowing toward the source of the bite. I realized what was happening: my body was adapting. The [Everchanging Glyph] had activated, working in real-time to optimize the situation. My mana began to pump more vigorously, flooding my veins with energy as it counterbalanced the blood loss.
Maya drank deeply, her breaths ragged as she finally allowed herself to give in. Her body pressed closer against mine, the tension in her limbs slowly melting away. The desperation I had sensed before was fading, replaced by something more primal, more instinctual.
And yet, even as she fed, I wasn't growing weaker. My mana surged to fill the gap, ensuring that no matter how much blood she took, my body would keep up. It was strange, almost surreal—the sensation of my life force being drained while my power only seemed to increase in response.
I could feel the subtle pull of the [Everchanging Glyph], the way it drew upon the latent energy within me, adapting and compensating for every drop of blood Maya took. It was as though my body had been designed for this, engineered to handle even the most draining of situations.
My vision flickered for a moment, a brief haze overtaking my senses before everything sharpened again. Maya's grip on me tightened, her nails digging into my chest as she continued to drink, but I could sense her calming down, her breathing becoming less frantic. The red and green forces inside her were still battling, but now, they seemed to be finding a balance. My blood—no, my mana—was helping her.
'Really…'
Her eyes were closed as she fed, her lips pressed firmly against my neck, but I could feel her relief in the way she held onto me. She wasn't fighting anymore. She was letting herself heal, letting go of the struggle she had carried for so long.
'Is it the time?'
Now that she had revealed her origins to me, wouldn't it be fair if I were to do the same.
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