I Became a 6★ Gacha Character

TL/Editor: raei

Schedule: 5/week

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While the two female employees seducing me from both sides made me excited, the low-ranking mercenaries bustling outside excited me in a different way.

Watching those idiots reminded me of the problem soldiers I saw in the military - the new recruits who needed extra attention.

It also brought to mind the F-rank mercenary who got chewed out and had his contract terminated in Rebecca's mercenary group, and the novice adventurers who died or got injured for not listening and mouthing off.

Today's attacker for the Empire update's "1 Day 1 Raid" event wasn't a bandit, but a monster driven mad by hunger - a rock bear.

"Sh*t, if that cart gets raided, we'll have to starve for over two days!"

Though it was an Empire monster, the ecosystem seemed similar enough that it was quite familiar. Last time I saw one, it split three wandering orcs that entered its territory in half before filling its belly with pig sausage.

Considering how bears tear people apart, imagine how strong a bear that's become a monster with skin as hard as rock would be. Even mid-rank adventurers would struggle to face it alone - in game terms, it'd be around the 30th floor.

Come to think of it, since it's bear-based, rock bears prioritize their territory. So why the hell was it suddenly coming to a man-made road and trying to smash its head into a merchant caravan's food cart?

"Oh my, Sir Roland! C-can you perhaps deal with that beast too?"

"That'd be easy, but... what the hell is going on?"

A creature bigger than a carriage charged in, ignoring people and trying to smash its head into the luggage carts. A couple of carts had already been reduced to splinters, with the salted meat and dried fruit they were carrying now in the rock bear's stomach.

There were three bears - two big ones that looked like the parents, while a smaller one lumbering behind and rummaging through the food sacks the parents dropped was the cub. Of course, even the small one was bigger than a horse.

One bigger than a carriage, one as big as a carriage, and one smaller than a carriage but bigger than a horse. Naturally, these monsters would pulverize a person's entire body just by running into them.

"W-well, I'm not entirely sure... but it seems one of the mercenaries did something stupid."

"I heard they burned some incense."

"Yes. It appears one of the mercenaries mistook some herb."

A low-ranking mercenary who couldn't even handle mana. Even if their physical abilities surpassed civilians, they were no match for rock bears.

It was only natural - throw amateur MMA fighters into a den of starving bears and they can't win a fight. Throwing ropes and making snares to try and drag them away was the best effort they could muster.

"Get out of the way!"

"Oh boy, that idiot."

"What's the matter?"

It seemed they weren't entirely without countermeasures. A few mercenaries who were busily rummaging through the luggage carts were dragging out a sizable ballista. It was smaller than a siege weapon, so it must have been for dealing with monsters.

After stopping the wheels and setting up the supports, three men together turned the pulley, and the bowstring was painfully drawn with a creaking sound. The one in charge of firing pressed the end firmly against his stomach and aimed at the mother bear's flank with both hands.

Meanwhile, the bears were too busy gorging themselves on dried fruit to care about the humans throwing ropes or dragging strange things nearby. I wondered if there was some kind of aphrodisiac-like gluttony drug - they were so focused on eating that they didn't even care about nooses around their necks...

"If rock bears preferred human meat over sweets, about thirty would've died before I showed up."

"I-is that so?!"

Seeing how blindly they buried their heads in the food carts, I was rather curious what kind of herb they burned.

As I was thinking this, the ballista was finally fired. If the rock bear had been attacking people, half the mercenaries would probably be dead by now, given its sluggish speed. Still, at least they aimed straight, even if loading after mounting was slow.

With a thunderous sound that rang in the ears, an arrow as thick as an adult man's forearm was fired. At least they managed their lifeline well - the ballista bolt tore through the air and burrowed into the rock bear's side.

Kwaaaeeeeng-!

Kwooooong-!

"That's it!"

"What do you mean 'that's it'?"

The heavy bolt of the ballista, piercing through the tough rocky hide. The rock bear with a spear deeply embedded in its side howled kwaaaeeeeng.

The problem was that howl wasn't one of pain and fear, but of rage and murderous intent.

I mean, even orcs fight to tear people apart with spears stuck in their guts, so how could a rock bear based on a bear be weaker than an orc? And there wasn't just one, but three rock bears.

It took nearly a minute to load, so how did they plan to deal with the other two?

"Ugh, these f*cking idiots."

Feeling frustration rising from my chest to my throat, I lazily stepped forward without even putting on armor.

I didn't want to lose my appetite watching the bears' human mukbang, since I'd soon have to eat tasteless food anyway. ...No, should I cook instead? Honestly, the half-cooked rice I make would probably taste better than the slop these guys make.

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Raei Translations

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I could easily deal with the three bears raiding the food carts. Sure, their tough hide made them terrifying monsters that would require sacrificing lives even for mid-rank adventurers, but that was by mid-rank standards.

Before someone of high rank who could handle mana, unless it was a monster with equal amounts of mana in its body, bears or dogs were treated like neighborhood mutts.

If I remembered correctly, that tough hide was the most expensive part, so squeezing their skulls and snapping their necks killed them easily. It was hardly worth calling a battle. It was like when a person claps their hands to kill a mosquito - you wouldn't call that 'combat'.

"My God, that huge beast."

"Why the hell is someone of high rank in a caravan like this...?"

A man who subdued a giant monster with a flick to the head when even a ballista couldn't kill it. Though they didn't know who I was, these mercenaries certainly realized I was a man who could kill bears with a tap.

Wandering among the murmuring low-ranking mercenaries, looking around.

"Uh, Sir Roland? Who are you looking for?"

"Where's that bastard who burned the herb earlier?"

"Oh, him?"

Seeing me clearly searching for someone, the caravan leader and two female employees followed behind me, asking questions. Apparently, the man who kills bears with a flick was more impressive than the man who stays intact after being hit by arrows.

With all eyes on me and everyone listening to my every word, I felt like the protagonist of an isekai story. Thanks to that, I could quickly find the mercenary I was looking for.

A scruffy-haired man with messy hair, swollen eyelids, and a split lip - probably beaten like a dog by the captain or senior officer. He started crying as he saw me and the caravan leader approach together.

"Hey, I've got something to ask you."

"Y-yes..."

How badly was he beaten to slur his words like that? Seeing him trembling and sobbing made me feel a bit sorry for him, but it was a rather lenient punishment considering his mistake.

"What the hell did you burn in the campfire to make those beasts come all the way here?"

"It, it was..."

The injured were just mercenaries who fell down during the charge, and the damage was limited to one wrecked luggage cart and the food it carried. With one food cart raided, the rations had only been reduced to about 90% - a minor incident.

From the caravan owner's perspective, getting three intact rock bear carcasses (minus the skulls) was a profit rather than a loss.

Still, if it had been rock bears who knew the taste of human flesh instead of ones crazed for sweets and dried fruit, a dozen or so would've died, so he had no right to complain even if he was beaten like a dog. In military terms, it was like accidentally pulling the trigger on a person with a loaded magazine - the same situation.

It was a blank, so no one died or got hurt, but this trash private still shot at people. And he sprayed a whole magazine, rat-tat-tat.

In that situation, who would listen if the trigger-puller claimed innocence?

'Quentin?'

No one but me would listen.

"I'm not trying to blame you. I just want to know. The rock bears' behavior was clearly abnormal, so I'd like you to tell me what you burned."

Or I'll judge your skull guilty - with that feeling, I put my hand on the iron hammer at my waist. He gasped and inhaled sharply. But he had enough sense to explain while trying his best to hold back his sobbing voice.

The incident started with a potion bought from some general store. As he hurriedly pulled out a vial from his pocket, a flood of additional excuses poured out.

The potion he bought for just one silver coin from the general store was supposed to be some kind of mosquito repellent that would drive away insects when burned with firewood. As the sun was setting and preparations were being made to spend the night after dinner, he sprinkled one drop - no, wanting to see the effect, he generously sprinkled two drops on the campfire he was in charge of.

"Just in case, let me ask - does this caravan happen to be secretly transporting any precious items?"

"Huh? No, not at all!"

"Even though it's headed for the Grand Temple?"

A caravan headed for the Grand Temple, attacks starting from day one, internal trolling, and the appearance of monsters.

No matter how I thought about it, wasn't this the prelude to a grand scenario? In reality, there was a treasure hidden in this shabby caravan that needed to go to the Grand Temple, there was an evil group after it, and by chance, as an NPC companion joined the caravan, even the player got involved.

However, seeing the caravan owner hurriedly deny it made me think my speculation might be closer to delusion.

"Oh my, we are a caravan going to the Grand Temple, but... our business isn't with the Grand Temple itself. We're just selling daily necessities to the general stores around the Grand Temple. We're not of the caliber to receive requests from the Grand Temple..."

Really?

The bandit attack on the first day and the monster attack caused by the F-rank mercenary's actions - were they just simple incidents that happened because with more people, there are bound to be more idiots?

Was my brain just pickled in game-like thinking, or was the Empire just that full of morons?

It felt like I was trying too hard to fit the Empire into my expectations, but with two incidents in just two days, I couldn't help but curse the Empire. At first, when they said Empire, I thought of a glorious cultural empire like the Roman Empire...

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