༺ Ideal Type ༻
“Everything is 27000 won.”
Taemin oppa held out his card in front of the cashier.
“Thank you!”
The staff thanked us enthusiastically and we headed back out onto the street.
Now what?
I went out because he invited me to eat, but he didn’t say anything about what we were going to do afterward.
“So, where are we going now, Oppa?”
“Huh? Uh, home?”
…Who was it who said that we should get to know each other slowly?Things were going well between us and we were just talking about commuting to campus together from now on!
And now you wanted to go home after just an hour of hanging out?!
On this sunny weekend?!
Was I the only one who was serious about this? Ugh, whatever, I didn’t want to go home this quickly! I grabbed his wrist.
“Hm?”
Oppa stared at me, confused by my action.
“Wanna eat some dessert?”
“Dessert?”
“I’ll buy you ice cream.”
It felt like a desperate attempt from me, but he eagerly nodded.
“Sure. Let’s go to an unattended ice cream—”
“No! Let’s go further down the street to a place where we can sit down and eat!”
How could we sit down and talk if we were to go to an unattended ice cream shop?!
Seriously, Oppa, you dummy!
“Alright, sure.”
Oppa turned in the direction I told him without any resistance.
We walked past the bus stop, entered a well-known ice cream chain and stood side by side in front of the counter.
“I’ll have the cherry flavor.”
Craving sweet ice cream, I picked the flavor I wanted right away.
“Then I’ll have the vanilla one.”
…Was he trying to make me die of shame?
When I heard the word vanilla, my whole body stiffened, and I took a glance to the side.
Noticing my stare, Oppa, who wore a carefree expression, looked at me, puzzled.
“What’s wrong?”
“N-Nothing?”
“Alright, I’ll be sitting here then.”
After going inside and sitting down, Oppa pulled out his phone as if nothing had happened.
Was I being too self-conscious? Huh, wait…
Being self-conscious in this situation should be normal, shouldn’t it?!
It wasn’t intentional, but that thing I left was vanilla-scented!
Or, or, he could say something like, ‘I like the diffuser’s scent,’ it would have been nice!
How cold.
A small pang of bitterness started to creep up on me at his indifferent demeanor, but I endured it, handed the employee my card and called out my order.
“Here you go.”
I placed the smooth, white vanilla ice cream in front of Taemin oppa.
“Thank you.”
After putting his phone down, he grabbed the cup and immediately dug his spoon into it.
“Oppa, there’s something I want to ask you. Do you mind?”
“What is it?”
“Um, what’s your ideal type?”
I had been wondering about this for a while.
What was his type exactly?
Back when he rejected me, he told me that I wasn’t his type, but now that we were closer, would he accept me even considering that?
Oppa put the spoon in his mouth and looked at me.
The way he peered into my eyes made me feel embarrassed.
I lowered my head slightly, focusing my gaze on my ice cream.
If only I could wear my Luka avatar here…
“A charming person.”
The answer that came out of his mouth was not within the range I expected.
“Charming?”
“You know, the kind of person who makes you feel nice by just looking at them.”
The way he smiled made it seem like he knew someone like that.
“I like that kind of person.”
Hearing that answer, I felt the urge to throw a blunt question at him.
Wait, Kim Doah! Hold your horses!
You couldn’t just ask him something like, ‘So, does staring at me make you feel nice, Oppa?’ carelessly like that! I spooned a rather big scoop of ice cream and shoved it into my mouth.
I barely managed to hold my urge back, but I was still curious, so I decided to attack him from a different angle.
“So, was there anyone like that among the people you were seeing?”
Yeah, I knew it wasn’t a good question to ask, but I was that desperate for a hint.
I glanced at him, wondering if I fucked up by asking that question, but he just chuckled for some reason.
“…No.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve never dated anyone before..”
“What? Why?”
I asked that out of pure curiosity.
Like, was he for real??
He never dated anyone? With that face??
Just from the rumors I heard in passing, there were quite a few people in our department who got rejected by him after they confessed to him.
Add that to his middle school and high school record, you’d definitely need at least both your hands to count the numbers.
Actually, maybe even if you added in your toes to count, it still wouldn’t be enough.
“Why? Because I didn’t feel the same way towards those girls.”
Oppa replied as if he were asking why I asked the obvious.
Really? Was that really it?
I was almost convinced for a moment, but then I shook my head.
“Oh, c’mon, you can be honest with me. I don’t really care if you’ve had a girlfriend before.”
“Seriously, I never had any. Why do you keep insisting that I used to have one?”
Judging by his reaction, it seemed like he was telling the truth.
If that was true…
Whoa, Kim Doah, calm down!
Girl, he hadn’t even asked you out yet, so don’t get ahead of yourself!
S-Still, if he did… I would be his first—
“…Doah?”
It was none other than the person in question who snapped me out of my daydream.
“I-I’ll do my best!”
The voice that I let out was higher-pitched than usual, almost like the one I used whenever I was streaming.
“…Huh?”
Oppa’s eyes widened.
“I-I mean, I don’t know if I’m the kind of person who makes you feel nice just by looking at me!”
In my excitement I blurted out those words. It wasn’t until I almost finished saying everything that I realized I sounded like a fucking otaku.
Ugh… Should I just stop now…?
But I still hadn’t finished my sentence.
This could be my last chance to redeem myself.
“I will… Try… To be…”
My confidence was sinking, and my voice was barely audible.
“A charming person…”
-Sizzle
My face felt really hot right now. Maybe if I were to place some meat on it, I’d be able to make a whole BBQ.
Hopefully he found my words cute, or just laughed it off, but once again, he responded in a way that I never expected him to.
“…It’s okay even if you don’t do your best.”
…I’m… Sorry??
Seeing the big smile on his face made me ponder the meaning of his words.
* * *
After I ate some ice cream with Doah, I went home and looked at my timetable again.
Three times a week.
As I marked off the days I was supposed to commute together with Doah, suddenly I felt like I’ve become a busy person.
How long had it been?
To be this close to someone?
This was pretty much the first time for me, outside high school and the military, of course.
Also…
When I added more marks to the calendar, noting down Luka’s stream schedule, I burst out laughing.
“What the hell is this?”
On Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I would go to campus together with Doah in the morning.
Wednesday was the day of our group project.
Luka’s solo streams were scheduled on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, while Saturdays were reserved for Closer’s regular group collab.
At this point, it felt like we were living together, just in separate houses.
Like, we were together when we were out and when we were at home.
Of course Doah didn’t know about the latter yet.
Also, it was funny that our houses were just next to each other.
I remembered Doah’s face when I asked her to commute together.
Looking at the sheer joy in her face made the corners of my mouth curl up as it reminded me of the Luka that I knew.
I couldn’t believe I felt this excited toward a real girl.
You never knew what life had in stock for you, huh?
Anyway, the type of girl that I liked, huh?
Because I was too used to answering that question, I forgot to ask her the same question back.
Could it be that I was her type?
My face aside, I wonder how she felt about me?
What was the reason that made her confess to me at the beginning of the semester?
Ever since I decided to face her seriously, these questions kept bubbling up in my mind.
And at the same time, seeds of anxiety began to take root in me.
Although I was never one to pay much attention to school matters, I knew how other people perceived me as.
The quiet student returning from military service.
The unapproachable handsome guy.
The insensitive critic.
They said that your reputation was a mirror of your behavior, but most of those labels were masks that I wore to hide who I really was.
I mean, I was just an otaku who didn’t want to be hurt and didn’t want to hurt anyone.
Luka-tan’s existence made it possible for me to keep on going.
My loneliness, the feeling of not belonging anywhere, Luka-tan helped me patch it all up.
Propping my chin up, I slowly stared straight ahead.
“Are you okay with someone like me, Kim Doah?”
After all, I might be different from what she had imagined.
I muttered to myself as I turned my gaze to the illustration of Luka on the closet wall.
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