I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 43: I, Your Father, Give Peaches

True to his word, the Raikage arrived at the area where Wu had battled the Two-Tails after putting it off for five days. Accompanying him were Darui, C, and two people Wu didn’t recognize. The first was a fairly light-skinned man with deep facial contours, a small goatee, and a dumb hat that vaguely resembled a mushroom or the head of a penis. He also had a weird eyepatch over his left eye, so Wu was significantly more interested in the second person he didn’t recognize, a woman with tanned, reddish-brown skin, silvery-grey hair, and a fairly voluptuous figure.

Appearing shortly after the group’s arrival, Wu playfully remarked, “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up. And I see you brought friends…”

Nodding his head, the Raikage answered, “You’ve already met Darui and C. These two are Dodai and Mabui, my attendants. They will be watching our battle from afar.”

Exhibiting his lack of fear and practiced shamelessness, Wu responded to the Raikage’s remarks by giving Mabui a wink, musing, “Shame. I wouldn’t mind if at least one of them got a nice, ‘close’ look…”

Though she raised her brows ever so slightly, Mabui didn’t respond to Wu’s provocation. Instead, A waved for his companions to back off, his gaze firmly fixed on Wu as he asked, “How do you want to do this, Saiko Dadi? If I go all out, you might die…”

Adopting a smile, Wu replied, “Then I’ll have died an excellent death. But don’t worry. After our initial encounter, I’m just slightly more cautious than before. You won’t have to worry about killing me and incidentally leaving the other villages unharmed.”

“Hmmm…”

Not expecting Wu to ascertain the actual reason he was worried about killing him, a thoughtful glint flashed across the Raikage’s beady, nearly pitch-black eyes. It was easy to assume Wu was just a madman obsessed with strength, but it was apparent he put at least ‘some’ thought into his actions.

Tearing away his white haori, leaving himself bare-chest, a vibrant blue aura began to exude from A’s body, accompanied by bands of bluish-white lighting as he said, “Then let’s see what you can do…”

Following his words, the Raikage’s body appeared to move sideways without any initial movement or changes to his posture, dodging the tip of Wu’s staff. One of the many benefits of his Lightning Release Chakra Cloak was the ability to move, attack, and evade without telegraphing his attacks. He could also instantaneously react to anything that came into contact with the lightning cloak, regardless of whether or not he sensed or saw it coming.

Seeing the Raikage effortlessly evade his sneak attack, achieved by shrinking his staff down to the size of a toothpick and concealing it within his hand, the smile on Wu’s face expanded rapidly. His body was unable to keep up with A’s almost ludicrous speed, but he managed to follow the man with his eyes while the rest of his body turned to face him in slow motion.

Noticing Wu’s eyes shift from gold to a fiery red, A immediately dodged to the side a second time, narrowly evading the laser-like beams of light that had attempted to cut through his left arm. Wu wasn’t the only one seeing the world in slow motion right now, so he moved around to the boy’s back before charging at him and leaping into a dropkick, thundering, “Lightning Drill…!”

Unable to turn around in time, Wu used one of his most convenient and tricky abilities, shrinking his size instantly. The technique always scaled him to where his feet were, so unless someone consistently targeted the ground, he could dodge most attacks aimed at his head or body.

Flying through Wu’s location, the Raikage’s face contorted slightly as he wasn’t a Sensor. He was well aware of Wu’s ability to change size, but he hadn’t been able to come up with a measure to counter it. Trying to keep track of a fast-moving object the size of an ant was easier said than done.

Opting for the ‘safest’ approach, A raised his hands over his head, Black Lightning enveloping his fists before he slammed them into the mountain below, shattering the peak and enveloping the area in a destructive dome of lightning.

Seeing the Raikage’s attack, Wu, standing far outside the range of the dome, playfully mused (“That bastard intended to trap me…too bad he isn’t a sensor…”)

Feeling a ‘little’ sorry for the Raikage, Wu alerted the man to his failure by heating his eyes and blasting him from the peak of a mountain more than six kilometers away. As the beams from his eyes traveled at light speeds, however, the attack immediately struck A’s back, just below where one of his kidneys was located.

Expecting his attack to pierce through A’s flesh and bone body like a hot knife through butter, Wu was more than a little surprised when it merely left a nasty burn. He knew the Raikage was durable, but the temperature of his heat vision exceeded 5000°C. Even he couldn’t endure those kinds of temperatures…

Liberating Wu from his stupor, A turned around with a vicious look on his face, growling, “There you are…” before immediately closing the distance between them.

“Lightning Bolt Lariat…!!!”

Having yet to learn his lesson, A’s attack swept through the afterimage of Wu’s head. This time, however, Wu tucked himself into a ball, staff in hand as they both shrunk. His mass varied drastically depending on his size, but the weight of his staff remained the same even when shrunken down to its smallest size. A’s body might be durable, but Wu refused to believe the man could withstand a hundred-thousand kilograms of force applied to a point the size of a pore.

Feeling a sharp pain in the right side of his chest, A’s brow twitched as he looked down to find a tiny hole in his right pectoral. The moment he saw it, the pupils of his eyes immediately shrank to the size of pinholes as the report filed by Yugito surfaced within his mind…

Before the Raikage could think to reach into his own chest and pull out a chunk of flesh, Wu allowed his staff to return to its original size. He didn’t want to kill one of the only ‘fun’ opponents he had ever found, so he made sure to control the angle so that it passed beneath A’s shoulder blade and avoided anything ‘too’ important…

Seeing a red and gold staff spontaneously ‘erupt’ from the back and chest of the Raikage, Darui, C, Dodai, and Mabui immediately rushed over to his side, the latter shouting, “That’s enough! Please cease your attacks, Dadi-sama!”

Though he personally felt as though the Raikage could continue, Wu startled Mabui by appearing atop her cleavage, kicking back and enjoying the softness of her moderately sized mountains in a form roughly the size of a thumb as he replied, “Sure, no problem. It’s not like this was a fight to the death, am I right?”

Resisting her initial urge to grab and attempt to crush Wu, the tensions in Mabui’s body gradually relaxed as she calmly replied, “Thank you for your understanding.” Then, as if she didn’t care Wu was sexually harassing her, she focused her gaze on the staff protruding from the Raikage’s back and chest.

Preempting the woman’s question, Wu extended his hand, reducing the size of the staff and recalling it to him as he inquired, “I’m assuming at least one of you can use Iryo(Medical)jutsu? If not, I have something you might find useful.”

Though she was one of the more skilled Medic-Nin in her village, Mabui knew she would be capable of fixing a 5cm hole in someone’s lung. They needed to get the Raikage into surgery as soon as possible, but, just to be on the safe side, she replied, “If you have something, we would be in your debt…”

Bouncing off the woman’s boobs, Wu grew to his full size as he replied, “Sure.” before narrowing his fiery eyes and musing, “I’m looking forward to seeing how you’ll repay me.”

Turning away from Mabui before he could see the woman’s response, Wu ignored the glares directed at him by Darui, Dodai, and C as he pulled out what appeared to be an ordinary peach. However, the moment he pulled it out, everyone present could smell its rich, revitalizing fragrance. Even A, who was on the verge of unconsciousness, became fully alert in response to the peach’s aroma.

Proferring forth the peach, Wu’s eyes narrowed into amusement as he mused, “It was a good fight. I look forward to many more in the future.”

Though he would ordinarily refuse his opponents’ mercy, A accepted the peach without hesitation. Dodai tried to stop him, but he immediately bit into the indescribably juicy fruit, a refreshing chill filling his throat despite a powerful warmth permeating his body. Then, under the stunned eyes of everyone present, his body appeared to shrink slightly as the hole in his chest immediately closed. Far more noticeable, however, was the fact he seemed to be aging in reverse, going from a middle-aged man in his early forties to a young man in his early twenties.

Recovering from the brief euphoria brought by the peach’s taste, regret marred A’s face as he saw the desiccated remains in his hand. As soon as he had taken a chunk out of the peach’s indescribably delicious flesh, the rest of it rapidly withered into a nearly unrecognizable husk. Almost like it had been left out in the sun for twenty years…

Interrupting the group’s stunned silence, Wu remarked, “The last person I gave something similar to ended up tackling me, kissing my cheek, and nearly suffocating me in her bosom. You have fairly impressive pectorals, but I’d rather not experience them against my face. If you feel inclined to ‘thank’ me, I wouldn’t mind you employing a proxy…”

Directing his gaze to Mabui, Wu prompted the woman to return to her senses, her expression morphing between various emotions before she asked the question everyone wanted to know, “What kind of peach was that? I’ve never seen anything like this before…”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu explained, “Just a neat little fruit that can revitalize a person by twenty years. You can only consume one of each kind, but they’re useful for extending or preserving the lives of people I find interesting.”

Though she took note of the fact Wu had said ‘one of each kind,’ Mabui didn’t press him for additional information. She ‘really’ wanted to, but A had regained his senses, staring at his slightly thinner arms as he asked, “Did I really just get younger…?”

Since no one else was qualified to answer the question, Wu explained, “Not really, but the effects are essentially the same. You certainly appear younger, but the fruit doesn’t diminish your power or reserves. You’re just as strong now as you were a few minutes ago, so you don’t have to worry about ‘rebuilding’ your strength.”

Meeting Wu’s gaze, A had an expression that was a mix of disbelief and thinly veiled greed. If he were sure he could pull it off without a hitch, he would capture Wu and interrogate him for everything he knew about the peach, their effects, and their acquisition. Instead, he narrowed his eyes slightly and said, “I won’t thank you. Instead, now that you’ve returned me to my prime, I’ll work hard to get even more powerful. That’s what you intended, right?”

Adopting a toothy grin, Wu replied, “It’s good that you catch on quickly. I don’t really mind explaining things, but I prefer people who can figure shit out for themselves.”

Finished with what he had to say, Wu began his gradual ascent into the sky. Before he could turn around and bound away, however, the Raikage abruptly stated, “Go with him, Mabui. You can return to the village later.”

Though she was briefly surprised by the Raikage’s words, Mabui gave an understanding nod as she lowered her head, calmly replying, “As you will, Rai-”

Interrupting the woman’s affirmative response, Wu said, “As tempting as the notion is, let’s put a pin in that for now. This was the last thing I had on my itinerary in the Land of Lightning, so I’ll be departing shortly after leaving here. But no worries. I’ll be sure to play with you plentily the next time I visit Kumo.”

Without waiting for Mabui’s or the Raikage’s response, Wu bounded into the sky and bounced through the air. Then, moments later, he appeared to vanish, disappearing from the still stunned group’s view…

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(A/N: Wu be regretting his promise to Tenten xD…)

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