I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 46: I, Your Father, do not like Sand. It’s Coarse, and Rough, and Irritating—and it Gets Everywhere…

After flying over the Land of Rivers, a region filled with lush vegetation and a city famous for the fact it never stopped raining, Wu found himself at the entrance to a massive desert. He had no idea how such an extreme disparity in climates could exist side-by-side, but at least it made it easy to know he was entering the Land of Wind.

“Man, talk about a shit hole. Can either of you tell me why anyone would bother living in such a place?”

Though he had read up on the history of Suna and the Land of Wind, Wu couldn’t help feeling that the people who settled the desert’s few oases were idiots. Training in hot and dry climates had benefits, but how much more evidence did people need that they ‘shouldn’t’ live somewhere than the sun-bleached bones of massive creatures? Sure, its sheer shittiness made other nations reluctant to invade, but come on…

Deigning to answer Wu’s question, Guren explained, “It’s said that in the past, a number of clans fled here to escape the conflicts near the center of the continent. They wandered from place to place to avoid exhausting any one area of its resources but eventually settled down once Ninjutsu spread through the world, making it possible to prosper even in the most inhospitable of climates. Since then, I would assume it’s their attachment to ‘home’ that prevents modern residents from leaving…”

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Wu remarked, “Go figure…the children of idiots are obstinant fools. Never could have seen ‘that’ coming…”

Smiling wryly, Guren suppressed her almost instinctual compulsion to defend the inhabitants of Suna. She was someone that had a ‘very’ strong attachment to the notion of home, so much so she was willing to become a vessel to Orochimaru just because he had given her a place to belong, a purpose greater than herself.

Unaware of the purple-haired woman’s thoughts, Wu kept flying until they came upon a massive plateau that had been sculpted to resemble a series of steps. A man-made canyon separated these steps in two, leading to a city that, from the sky, appeared to have been constructed in the center of a colossal impact crater.

Though he could have easily just flown into the city, Wu controlled their descent when Guren suggested, “We should land a few kilometers from the entrance. If we enter the village directly, it could cause unnecessary tension with people who are supposed to be our allies.”

Since Guren was ‘technically’ in charge, despite being ranked below him, Wu replied with a lazy, “Hai, hai, Guren-sama…” that left the purple-haired woman with a complicated look on her face. She was only put in charge because she was familiar with their connections in Suna and was ‘much’ older than both Wu and Tayuya. People, especially those in high positions, had ‘difficulties’ respecting those much younger than themselves. Wu was likely the strongest member of their group, but that wouldn’t be enough to get people to truly ‘respect’ him…

Having noticed Wu’s group from the lookouts stationed across the multi-tiered wall, a sizeable party of Suna Shinobi came out to ‘greet’ them by forming an encirclement around them. The leader of the group was a man with facial tattoos that resembled those of the Inuzuka Clan, but, instead of a Ninken partner, a child-sized doll that resembled something out of a horror movie hovered in front of him, its head and jaw clicking as it stared at Wu with an open mouth and slowly twisting head.

“This is the entrance to Sunagakure, the Village Hidden in the Sand. You are to declare yourselves immediately and lay down your arms, or we will have no choice but to detain you with force.”

Raising her hands to indicate they had not come there seeking trouble, Guren replied, “I am Jonin Guren of Otogakure. We have come here at the behest of our Lord to meet with Lord Rasa. Once you have confirmed our identities, please allow us to pass.”

Though the alliance between Oto and Suna was tentative, at best, those ranked Jonin and higher had been made aware of the ‘specifics’ of their cooperation. Upon hearing that Guren was from Oto, the Jonin leading the security group ordered his men to stand down. Most of them remained on guard, but that was just good practice. After all, entering an enemy village while disguised as a recently acquired ally was fairly common…

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After a minor incident involving the customs officials being unable to open and search Wu’s bag, Guren couldn’t help asking, “Can that bag really not be opened by anyone other than you…?”

Instead of answering the question directly, Wu tossed the pouch toward Guren, saying, “Give it a go.”

Despite a small opening already being present, Guren discovered that she could not loosen the cord keeping the bag shut. The most abnormal thing about this was that the cord wasn’t even appropriately fastened. It should just open on its own, but it remained bound shut and even ‘flew’ back into Wu’s hand with a simple gesture.

Wriggling his eyebrows, Wu teased, “Pretty neat, huh? The coolest part is that it’s also indestructible, so I can even use it to stop an attack if I really need to. Well, that and the fact the interior keeps expanding over time…”

Hearing Wu’s description of the bag, Guren’s expression revealed a trace of confounded disbelief as she questioned, “Where did you obtain such a thing?”

With an amused smile, Wu replied, “Would you believe me if I said it was on my person since birth? It’s just one of the many things that makes me mysterious and awesome…”

Though he had been straining his ears to listen to the discussion between Wu and Guren, the Chunin serving as their escort through the village of Suna stopped them at the entrance to a spherical building with the kanji for ‘Wind’ on its side, revealing, “This is the Central Administration Office. The Kazekage should summon you shortly…”

Nearly as soon as the man had finished speaking, a very tall, 188cm man wearing a turban-like headgear walked out. A thin sheet dangled from his headpiece, covering the left side of his face, but he had rugged features and two red markings on his right cheek, presumably matching the cheek concealed by the cloth.

Eying Wu and his group with his sharp, beady black eye, the man added, “You must be the delegation from Otogakure. Lord Rasa will see you now.”

Contrasting the overly casual demeanor of Wu and the standoffishness of Tayuya, Guren gave a slight bow and a faint smile as she expressed, “It’s good to see you again, Baki-sama. I hope things have been improving for you and Suna since our previous meeting.”

Furrowing his only visible brow, Baki replied in his incredibly deep voice, “If that were the case, we wouldn’t need an alliance with Oto. Now, follow me. Lord Rasa has made an opening in his considerably busy schedule to hear what you have to say. It is disrespectful to keep him waiting.”

Exhibiting her almost innately kind nature, Guren adopted an apologetic smile as she replied, “Lord Rasa has our sincerest gratitude. Please, lead the way, Baki-sama.”

Instead of answering Guren, Baki turned his back to the group and led the way up a spiraling staircase lined with concealed explosives. Soon after, they reached a circular landing that formed a looping hallway around the entire structure with several doors facing inward. One such door bore the symbol for ‘Wind’ above its frame, indicating that it was the office of the Kazekage.

As expected, the turbaned man led Wu’s group to the aforementioned door, saying, “You are to be respectful and courteous…” before turning to it and declaring, “Lord Rasa. The delegation from Otogakure has arrived, as summoned.”

From within the office, an equally deep yet distinct voice replied, “Permit them entry…”

While pushing open the door with his right hand, Baki turned to Wu and his group, instructing, “Enter.” in a firm tone. Guren gave a polite nod in response, but Wu whispered, “You’re playing with fire, old man…” as he passed Baki’s much taller frame.

Though he frowned in response to Wu’s comment, Baki didn’t speak or attempt to deny him entry. Instead, he waited for the group to enter the room before closing the door behind them and posting outside, ready to act alongside the dozen other Jonin concealed nearby. Their Kazekage was more than capable of defending himself, but an organization backed by someone as infamous as Orochimaru couldn’t be trusted…

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Upon entering the office, standing to Guren’s left, Wu came face to face with a middle-aged man with auburn hair, dark eyes, and a constipated look. The diamond-shaped cap symbolizing the authority of a Kage could be seen hanging on a hook behind him, but the man himself was dressed fairly casually in a simple black jacket and pants, complete with a visible mesh underneath.

Seizing the initiative in the discussion, the Kazekage, formerly known as Rasa the Gold, ruined the Otokage’s ongoing attempts to keep Wu in the dark about her true identity, asking, “Why have Orochimaru’s henchmen come to my village? Coming here at such a critical moment risks exposing everything to those rats from Konoha.”

Though she visibly winced when Rasa namedropped Orochimaru, Guren pulled out the scroll she had been asked to hand over, responding, “The specifics are detailed within this scroll. Beyond that, our primary intention for coming here was to complete introductions.”

Raising his left brow, Rasa’s expression revealed a hint of incredulity as he parroted, “Complete introductions?” Then, as Wu was the only person he had never seen before, he gave the latter a skeptical look and asked, “You came all this way to introduce this boy to me…?”

Preempting Guren’s response, Wu raised his hand and offered a casual “Yo.” before following it with a cheeky smile as he revealed, “The name’s Saiko Dadi. Feel free to call me Dadi-sama.”

Though it took him a moment to piece things together, Rasa’s already beady eyes appeared to shrink as he asked, “You’re the one who fought the Fourth Raikage and laid waste to Kumogakure?”

Adopting an even cheekier grin, Wu replied, “It appears my reputation precedes me. And yes, I’m the one that kicked the ass of the Two-Tails’ Jinchuriki and went toe-to-toe with the Alphabetical Ape. Nice to meet you, magnet man.”

Hearing Wu ‘confirm’ the previously unsubstantiated reports surrounding the Two-Tails’ appearance and subsequent thrashing, Rasa visibly tensed. The hierarchy of the Tailed Beasts was determined by the number of tails they possessed. Those with fewer tails were notably weaker than those with a greater quantity, so it didn’t take much imagination to guess what might happen if ‘Dadi’ fought their own Jinchuriki, the vessel of the One-Tailed Demon Tanuki.

Becoming serious, Rasa’s hardened into a grim expression as he inquired, “Am I to interpret this as a threat…or perhaps a ‘warning?’ Bringing such a ‘monster’ into midsts doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in our coalition. If you have a child capable of fending off Kage and defeating Tailed Beasts in your employ, what’s the-”

Before Rasa could finish speaking, Guren gave a smile that wasn’t quite a smile as she suggested, “Please peruse the contents of the scroll. And no, our visit here is not intended as a threat. Dadi-kun was curious about your village and planned to come here unaccompanied. I was tasked to ensure there weren’t any misunderstandings that came about as a result of Dadi-kun’s intrigue.”

Though he didn’t believe a single word coming out of Guren’s mouth, Rasa eventually responded with a terse, “I see…” before subsequently opening the scroll and reading its contents. Some of what was inscribed within all but confirmed that Dadi’s presence within Suna was intended as a threat, but other sections caused a reflective glimmer to flash across his eyes…

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