At first, I wanted to change, and then I decided to just let things be. If I really followed his ideas, in the end, I still wouldn’t have accomplished anything. I am what I am. If others are dissatisfied with me, then they should turn themselves into their desired image, what does it have to do with me? Being gentle is a way of living, being straightforward is also a way of living, restraining myself is a way of living, living in the moment is also a way of living. As long as I won’t regret my choices, there’s no need to compare.”
Mu Mingtang was always told that she wasn’t elegant enough, wasn’t noble enough, and she wasn’t gentle enough. Although she knew that she was just trying to survive, as time passed, she doubted herself. She even felt that she just wasn’t as noble and elegant as Jiang Mingwei. The Jiang’s maids secretly laughed at her for being so rustic. Although Mu Mingtang wasn’t ashamed of her origin, she still admitted to it.
She never thought that Xie Xuanchen, who was born royal, had such a plain attitude towards his origin. Mu Mingtang looked at Xie Xuanchen’s side profile, and asked in a low voice, “Don’t you think that, because I come from a poor background, it’s kind of embarrassing to bring me to important events?”
“No.” Xie Xuanchen even glanced at her strangely, “Whether or not it’s embarrassing to bring you along, or whether you’re outstanding or not, it all depends on the person, what does it have to do with your background? There are some in the army who were born in poverty but are sincere and daring. There were also a lot of useless friends that just wasted their lives away among my childhood playmates. The one with the clearest conscience is the most elegant of them all, as long as you are satisfied with yourself. Why does being born rich or poor make a difference?”
Mu Mingtang was touched by the phrase “as long as you are satisfied with yourself”. She knows that she isn’t perfect, but she doesn’t think she’s worthless either. However, after hearing too much of negativity, she always felt a sense of fear in her heart. The Jiang family looked down on her merchant family background, and Xie Xuanji disliked her because of her low status, but Xie Xuanchen was able to tell her frankly that it all just depended on the person.
Mu Mingtang asked: “Don’t you think I’m too rough, rude, and not elegant enough?”
“This is obviously what Xie Xuanji said to you.” Xie Xuanchen sneered and said, “You don’t have to care about these people. They are not you, and you are not them. Just live your life comfortably. Besides, you have a great personality. You’re enthusiastic and happy all the time, and you make the people around you feel at ease.”
Mu Mingtang smiled unknowingly as she listened to him. Yes, Xie Xuanji, Jiang Mingwei and the Jiang family didn’t like her, and she doesn’t like them either. Why should she change herself for people she dislikes? Mu Mingtang’s doubt on herself disappeared, and she was no longer bothered by this.
The September sun was s
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