Is It Bad That the Main Character's a Roleplayer?

Chapter 54: I’m Angry, but… (2)

In truth, I had long banished the thought that I was merely trapped in a game capsule. The reason was simple: there’s no denying I would have long starved by now if that were the case, no matter what excuse I came up with at this point.

It was also strange that I hadn't been prompted to log out yet or that someone hadn’t tried to cut the power from outside.

“Hey, Mr. System?”

It had also been some time since I first suspected something was behind this so-called “system”.

No. I had harbored this doubt for even longer, almost since the beginning.

“Hey?”

The reason… Well, it wasn't really anything special. It was because this was a pretty common cliche, is all.

There were a lot of novels where the main character was provided with a system, though some didn’t have that, so it was something I had thought about frequently.

“Hmm. Log out.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

“Emergency Protocol, forced capsule shutdown.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

However, right when my suspicions peaked, I noticed the system's message, which popped up whenever I tried to log out or run the emergency protocol, was subtly different than what usually should have appeared.

Usually, even if a bug occurred, the error message would never state a command couldn’t be carried out. Instead, it would say that it failed.

That meant…

“Options, settings. Graphics. Change resolution from 24K to 18K.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

“Frame rate. Change it from 240 fps to 120 fps.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

“Adjust the brightness. The lowest setting.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

“Restart from the last save point.”

「This command cannot be carried out.」

If the same message popped up whenever one tried to change any setting, most people would inevitably feel unsettled!

“Sigh.”

That wasn't the only thing suspicious about it.

What about those skills whose effectiveness randomly varied? Especially that [Detection] skill.

How often had it notified me too late, after the enemies were already too close? Wasn’t this a serious error for a system that should work consistently? Sure, this whole game seemed full of other bugs, too, but whatever!

Furthermore, the criteria for displaying item descriptions were too weird. The same went for drops in HP.

After running some calculations, there were many instances where my HP should have bottomed out, but I somehow managed to survive…

I couldn’t just dismiss those instances as mere luck. When these sorts of incidents accumulated, one couldn’t help but feel somewhat unnerved.

“Hey, let’s just talk a little.”

What was even more decisive than anything else was that skill I was provided with this time.

It was so damn blatant that I almost wanted to laugh, and it was just too bizarre to just turn a blind eye to it any longer.

“Let’s talk…”

I sighed as I released the tension from my body after not receiving a response. My back and head made contact with the rock I was leaning against.

My hair, sticky and full of salt, loosely fell over my face as it touched the rock.

Additionally, I also felt something sticking to and pulling at my skin. Salt and sand, probably.

“…”

However, my clothes were actually soft and dry thanks to the {Restoration} function. It felt marginally uncomfortable, like I only changed my clothes without properly washing up.

Sometimes, these kinds of sensations made it feel like all of this was real.

It wasn’t even that important. A faint sense of resignation overcame me, strangling my throat.

“What on earth are you planning?”

As for the system not giving me a single answer, well. I didn’t know if I was angry or if reality was just finally hitting me properly. I wondered whether I even had to separate the two.

“You’re making it so obvious…”

That was it. All that remained floating in my head were those unanswered questions.

Was this a game or a different world?

Why was I called here?

Who the hell brought me here?

Just what did they want me to do here?

Could I go back to Earth? Those types of things.

‘I’m angry.’

If the system were acting more consistently, I wouldn’t have wondered if someone might be behind it.

I would have just continued living as I did. After all, searching for a reason behind something happening was meaningless when there was nothing to find.

Moreover, shouldn’t I be more worried about starving since my body was locked in that capsule?

In that case, I would have just viewed this as an extra life. There was no way I would have complained about it.

‘I resent everything.’

However, if there were a cause, a reason, that would be different.

If someone intentionally made me possess this character and do these things. If there was a way to communicate with that someone…

I couldn’t just take it, then. I couldn’t just do what they wanted me to do.

I… I wanted to get back.

‘This whole world…’

My life, where I didn’t have to act constantly, filled with my loved ones who knew me, where everything was familiar.

‘Everything?’

I blinked. Those feelings that were not my own disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving only a faint sadness behind. My heart was pounding. It was as though I could hear the bead placed in my inventory vibrate.

“What… What if.”

Welp. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if it really mattered whether this was a game or reality. It didn’t matter as long as there was a way for me to survive.

In this world, if I accepted it, illusions could become reality. And if I rejected it, even the truth could become lies.

“If I kill Satan and clear the main plot.”

However, it would be better if this was a game. That would hold many benefits for me, including being able to retry after Game Over, which made me feel more at ease.

And above all else…

“Can I go home?”

A game would just switch off after clearing it. Right?

In that case… In that case…

“Please, I beg you.”

Please, just tell me I could keep hoping to return home after the game ended.

I wouldn't be disappointed or discouraged.

Because that would mean the system didn’t give me these Quests for no reason.

“I won't resent you, even if you were the one who dragged me here.”

So, could you please just say yes?

I would be satisfied with just that.

“…”

I gritted my teeth, seeing that the system still didn't respond. I raised my right hand, still holding my sword, and touched my eyes and forehead.

I couldn't tell if the cold temperature of the metal soothed or saddened me.

The seething anger building inside me simply formed into all manner of cusses and abusive language before getting crushed by my last remaining shred of reason, calming me down.

The area around my eyes first turned hot, then cold, before settling at lukewarm.

“…System.”

In my sorrow, I called out once more to the unresponsive system.

Resentment. No, not quite. I felt frustrated, helpless, betrayed, and a little angry. Still, I felt no resentment.

Not yet.

Not only was I still uncertain whether someone was behind this system, but there was also no guarantee I could be sent back.

Moreover, the system was my ally and support. Considering it gave me skills whenever I found myself in danger, it clearly held at least some favor toward me.

Did I have to offend such an existence just because I couldn't overcome a moment's emotion? That would actually be really stupid.

It certainly was.

That's why.

“Damn it, I guess there's a reason you aren't talking to me directly.”

I swallowed down all my doubts and misery, relaxing my body. Drip. Something flowed from the corners of my eye, below my ears, and finally over my neck.

“I’ll just think of it as you being under certain restrictions, like being unable to talk to me.”

I then moved my hand away and opened my eyes, which I had momentarily closed. I could see the sky. A sky overflowing with a myriad of stars. A sky of a world unknown to me.

“So, please let me return after I beat this game.”

I miss home.

Those unspoken words caught in my throat, and I started to cry. I never thought that these three words would make me so choked up.

* * *

* * *

I suppressed my overwhelming woe and closed my eyes again so I wouldn’t collapse under all this despair and feel light again.

If I become pessimistic in these circumstances I couldn’t control or change, then I would be the only one to suffer.

Also, this situation wasn’t necessarily bad, either.

I was half-forced to follow the plot because I was somewhat swayed by my character setting. Beyond that, there was nothing else worth doing, anyway.

So, this suspicion I held in my heart was just one more possibility added to those I had already come up with. The possibility of something being behind the system that could send me back to my world after the ending. Hope.

“…I should also remember that this might not be the case.”

However, I didn’t like feeling disappointed, so I prepared myself to be wrong. I didn’t know how the system worked, but that meant its existence was also closer to what I hoped for.

“Mister, are you going to keep resting over there?”

I finished organizing my thoughts like that.

Deb arrived at just the right moment. The village had already quieted down.

“After getting some resources delivered, we also received a house in return for distributing the supplies among the people. Would you like to continue resting there?”

I fixed my expression. The night’s dark veil might make it harder for others to see clearly, but one could never know, right?

“No… need.”

But why was my voice like that? I answered him without thinking. I was surprised by the emotions tightly sealed in my voice as if it were a new bottle of soda. I was relieved it didn’t sound like I had been crying.

“They said it might rain soon…”

Urgh. That would be a bit troublesome.

I was rather happy that Deb didn’t notice anything and moved on. Should I sleep outside in the rain or under a roof?

I thought hard about it. However, no matter how I viewed it, the former would be the correct action here.

Right. There weren’t many houses in the village, nor was our group small. Even though about twenty had died, there were still more than fifty of us.

Could these people actually properly divide the space given to us and share some rooms? Could the villagers have provided multiple houses?

That probably wasn’t the case. I was pretty sure they would sleep huddled together. My character would never tolerate something like that!

“Get lost.”

Sigh. Even if Deb hadn’t piled even more misunderstandings on the stack just now, I still would have glared at him intensely like this. How sad.

“Then, at least a blanket…”

“Do you want me to make you another ear hole?”

Deb, please just go. This Demon Knight here would prefer to sleep accompanied by the soft sound of the waves, the sea breeze, and raindrops than fight and argue. Sniff.

“…At least come and have a meal. The people who went out to hunt just returned one team at a time.”

I wouldn't go just because you told me. Hmph.

“Are you still talking?”

“I’m done now.”

“Is he coming?”

“Nope.”

I laid back down on the stone and continued looking at the night sky. There were quite a few clouds, but the moon and stars were clearly visible.

“I heard you wouldn’t sleep in the village.”

He should have heard me, as well. So Windhand, you should also go away.

“Wow, this place is a complete mess, ain’t it? Damn, this stench is no joke.”

Did it smell that bad? While busy thinking about all these different things, I somewhat acclimated to the smell around me and eventually forgot about it. The part of the sea around this place hadn’t yet recovered from the black dragon’s actions.

“The wizards said it will take at least a month for things to return to normal… It’ll be pretty difficult.”

Windhand didn’t mention anyone in particular, but I knew the implied subject of his sentence. One month. That was a long time for these villagers.

“Rather, aren’t you going to go see your companions?”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because they are your companions…?”

“Who is?”

“Or not. Well, they are the people you’re temporarily moving together with, right?”

He remembered those words.

“Then we can just leave straight away tomorrow, right? After all, if those guys aren’t your companions, there’s no need to wait until they are better.”

He couldn’t just use them like that after barely remembering my statement.

“By any chance… You didn’t forget our agreement, did you?”

I finally realized why Windhand was standing before me like this.

At first, I thought he came over to persuade me to eat or something like Deb, but it turned out it was to say that. He did say he was in a hurry.

“Did you want me to forget about it?”

“No way. You’re really fine leaving like that, right?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

I answered without hesitation. I didn’t know entirely about the other conditions for us to depart—a ship and food—but character-wise, rejection was never an option.

Furthermore, I wasn’t injured or fatigued. Even if I were, I could solve that by just sleeping on the ship, so there wouldn’t be any problems even if we left immediately.

Of course, it would be quite difficult for the others, especially the Inquisitor and Archmage, who still hadn’t awoken from their comas.

“Good. Keep your word.”

But I couldn’t just go back on my promise. My character was one thing, but this involved the safety of a whole city. There was also that Quest.

Windhand also lost two of his companions because of this matter. If I broke my word, I would be less than trash. Well, my character was kind of a piece of trash already, but whatever.

So, I decided this on my own without those two. There was nothing I could do about it, anyway.

What about the compensation?… Well, if it wasn’t there in time, I would just have to give up and leave. Although, I wasn’t in much need of money.

I only wanted some to make equipment using the dragon parts, but that wasn’t more important than my life: if I broke character, a mace would come flying at me.

The plot, as well… To be honest, I said I had decided to follow it, but I wondered when the Main Quest would continue. Going by the usual pattern, wasn’t now when one had to pass the time by clearing random Quests?

The plot’s direction seemed completely different from the original game’s, so I couldn’t really make any more predictions.

“We’re back.”

“Ah, the last hunting team is back.”

At that moment, all the crew members who had gone hunting returned. Listening closely to their chatter, it seemed they had hunted a total of two deer, three rabbits, and one fox.

Windhand went over to them.

“Is that all?”

“We tried our best.”

“Will that fill our stomachs?”

The amount of meat one could get from one deer was quite large.

However, with so many mouths to feed and so few personnel who could hunt, there was bound to not be enough.

“We’re men of the sea.”

Well, most of them were sailors. They had to be very unfamiliar with hunting wild animals besides fish. It seemed the deer caught weren’t hunted by the crew but by the adventurers who followed us.

“Let’s just try to make the most out of what we have.”

“Yeah.”

At that moment, I was thinking about the food items in my inventory—biscuits and vegetable powder.

Even if I handed it all over, it would only serve ten people at most, I’d wager. But it was better than not giving it at all, right?

But how should I deliver it?

Rustle, rustle.

Should I just go and throw it to them, or should I call Deb and hand it to him? I should have gotten it out before Windhand left.

As I was agonizing over this matter, I felt many presences nearby.

“It’s meat…”

I turned my head slightly, seeing several children.

They seemed to be watching the sailors dismantle the deer. The group consisted of those in their early to late teens.

“…I’m hungry.”

“That’s why we got up early to get some tree bark.”

“I don’t like that stuff.”

I had wondered why they were awake despite it being very late at night and almost dawn, before realizing it was because the youngest among them were hungry and came out to get something to eat.

“I wanna eat meat, too…”

“No, they were the ones who hunted it.”

That was the moment all my reservations broke down.

I hated seeing kids go hungry! Last time, they ate plenty because we handed over the prey we caught, but now, we couldn’t give them any because we didn’t even have enough for ourselves!

I hurriedly jumped up. At that moment, I walked away, face crumpled, in the direction of where those kids were hiding.

What about the dragon’s head? Well, it wasn’t like it had feet to walk away, so it probably wouldn’t be much of a problem to leave it alone for a bit. Even the most problematic wizard was currently touring Dreamland.

It should be fine.

“Still, let’s be patient, everyone. They said someone would come from the castle in the morning. They’ll also share their food with us.”

“Then, can I eat every day starting tomorrow?”

“That’s…”

“I’m hungry…”

The conversation I heard in the meantime was just too pitiful. I heard we had made a deal where they would let us stay for a day in exchange for supplies, but that wouldn't last. Forget about a whole month, it wouldn’t even suffice for a few days.

“B-Brother.”

At that moment, one of the children spotted me. He tugged at the hem of one of the older boy’s clothes.

“W-We were caught.”

“H-He isn’t angry, right…?”

The children seemed to tremble in fear as they spoke with frightened voices. However, to my surprise, none of them ran away.

It wasn’t that they were confident but rather that they were too scared to move, frozen to the spot.

“Hic!”

I looked at the oldest among them. When our eyes met, the child trembled and asked, “What?” in a soft voice.

I tossed a bag I had just taken from my inventory at her. I hadn’t broken it up into sections as I didn’t want that stuff taking up even more space in my inventory, but looking back, it was a rather wise decision.

If I had made small portions out of it, those things probably would have broken.

“…? What are you doing over there, Mister?”

“H-Huh?”

The girl I tossed the bag to was so surprised that she only managed to let out some strange noises when Deb saw me.

Of course, I didn’t explain the situation to him, either.

“Why are those kids with you?”

Deb came over in a hurry. At that moment, the girl’s eyes widened when she saw what was in the bag.

“Th-Th-This is.”

“What did you give for them to act like that?... What?”

“I-It’s… it’s food…”

Good. I managed to give them some food.

I could just walk past the village and into the forest like this. If I searched throughout the night, I would absolutely catch something.

Windhand wouldn’t leave at night, anyway.

“Can we really eat this?!”

“Are you really giving all of that to us?”

“Really? Can we eat all this?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Ah, no. Guys! If you eat this carelessly… Hey, stop pulling on my clothes.!”

“Mister, no.”

While the girl was getting teased by the kids around her, Deb looked at me as though wondering if I had eaten something off. But at least I didn’t have to worry about my head getting smashed in.

How many times had I already handed out items I didn’t need to other people? This wasn’t that different. In other words, I didn’t break character!

“…Let’s go together. Seriously, wouldn’t it be better if we went together?”

“Get lost.”

“Hey, don’t be like that…”

I gracefully pulled out my Zweih?nder, turned around, and slammed it into the ground. Its blade was stuck right before Deb’s toes.

“I’ll get lost.”

To be clear, I did this to stop Deb from following me so he wouldn’t have to carry two deer like last time.

I definitely didn’t do it because I was still pissed about what had happened on the ship earlier. A-Anyway.

I headed deeper into the forest.

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