Martial King's Retired Life

Ingenious Solution (Part 1)

The couplet up outside Eight Deities read, “Boxing rules within eight kilometres of Nanjing. Kicks rule Beipings twenty-one alleys.” In the centre, the text “From an exchange of blows, friendship grows,” was written in calligraphy. The smudges from that the breeze made were still there.

I tossed away my brush and returned to my seat without sparing a glance for my opponent who was carried.

“How can you be that weak?” Gu Xianxian got out of his stance and continued, “How delusional must you be to be a ring fighter if that’s all you can do?”

Gu Xianxian just kicked his opponent downstairs with his Long Fist.

Challenging people to ring fights in the capital was hubristic, but that wasn’t all.

“Come watch! It’s not every day that you see this. Duke Radish has set up a ring. There are first-class, second-class and third-class seats, but you’ll miss out if you’re late.”

Proprietor Shi’s wife was ticked off about me reserving the entire place and forbidding her from coming up to the second floor, so she sold drinks, peanuts and stools. In addition, she set up four seating classes. In no time at all, there was a crowd bigger than Eight Deities had ever seen and more money than ever to be made.

Who set up the ring? Me.

How did you participate? Just sign the waiver that you wouldn’t hold me liable for casualties. If you had a problem with that, I was sitting right there, but you wouldn’t be fighting me. If you wanted to vent, you’d have to beat my six generals.

What do you think everyone in the line downstairs was here for? Either they still had a grudge against me or were after the bounty thanks to Jingan spreading the news that I couldn’t fight. Since they were all after me, I set up the ring to wait for them. Rather than sit around uneasily waiting and apprehensively guessing when they’d jump me every day, why not force them to abide by my rules?

So far, only those who Gu Xianxian and Lang Qing could mop the floor with had shown up. The real threats were those looking for a way to assassinate me despite having an avenue to do so publicly. Thankfully, my ears functioned well enough to detect them if they tried.

“How’d you go?”

Yuan Kou, having just returned from his job, took off the black cloth covering his face, then blew out a big breath. “All captured. All twelve disciples of Yishou have been detained. Knowing old Immortal Yishou’s stubbornness, though, it is unlikely this will be enough for him to turn himself in. Among the twelve, we have his son. Do you think…”

“Break all their legs, except for his son’s, and then kick them out of the city.”

“Why? … Oh! As long as we keep his son, he will have motivation to seek revenge, but he will not dare to return to the capital for a dozen years in order for his useless son to mature. That is genius!” Yuan Kou rushed off immediately after he was done talking.

When it came to harming people, you could expect the bad guys to be most excited.

As Ning Zhuoru waited on me with tea, water and so forth, she kept silent, but she kept stealing glances my way, so I asked, “You have a crush on me.”

“Blegh!”

“What do you keep looking at me for, then?”

“Hmph, are you really a disciple of an orthodox sect? You’re better at setting people up than all of the unorthodox faction members combined who I know.”

“If I was worse than them, you, your husband and unborn son would perish here.”

“Mind you m-, wait, wait? I have a boy?! Oh my god!” Ning Zhuoru started jogging toward her husband, but she stopped once she remembered she wasn’t done saying what she wanted to say. “I was trying to say: are you going to be able to clean up this mess afterwards?”

“Can you help me clean it up?”

“Of course not. However…”

“Then, shove it.”

“That’s it! Xian’er, don’t stop me! Ever since we got out of the underground palace, he’s…” Even as she was dragged off, Ning Zhuoru still shot me a glare over her shoulder, “been giving us attitude!”

As I resumed watching Lang Qing continue to sweep the floor with challengers, I tried to work out who the assassin was.

Teng came up behind me. “She has a valid point.”

“I know.” I checked to ensure there was nobody eavesdropping who shouldn’t have been before elaborating, “I don’t have a choice. If I bear with it whilst living at Liu Shan Men, the people here will go to Liu Shan Men instead of coming here. Liu Shan Men doesn’t have what it takes to deal with the force in the dark yet. Moreover,” I looked back at Teng and smiled, then added, “I’ve put up with it for a long time. I deserve to vent.”

Teng smiled. “We have found clues on the question troubling y-”

“Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor is the key.” I didn’t mean to be a jerk, cutting Teng off. I just didn’t want to spend until tomorrow talking about the topic because he never got to the point and was slow in responding. “Though they’ve gone into hiding, it won’t be hard to find them. The real challenge is having a conversation with them. If the first talk goes awry, then they’ll hide themselves to the point they’re invisible. That’s not going to be good.”

Teng nodded. “If you are a high-ranking official, they might grant an audience.”

“What makes you say so?”

“It was the same back at home. The higher one’s rank is, the more popular one is.”

I smiled. “Well, that’s not always the case here. Furthermore, Li Muye’s mother is no ordinary woman.”

Out of nowhere, I saw Yuan Kou swing into the second floor from the eaves as if he weighed half of his true weight.

“Done?”

“Yes… and no.” Yuan Kou rushed over to my side, bent down and whispered, “Yishou’s matter is done, but Zhao Tiankui has arrived and has insisted on seeing you.”

“Hmm… One of them has finally come. Turn him away.”

Yuan Kou scratched his head. “He will compete if you turn him away.”

“The whole point of releasing all of you was to deal with difficult people, like him.” Seeing the bloodlust in Yuan Kou and Teng’s eyes, I clarified, “He’s a high-ranking military officer. You think I could kill him? If I don’t kill him, he’ll kill me, but I don’t have a method of stopping him without killing him at the moment.”

That was partially true. In my current state, at most, I only had a 40% chance of killing Zhao Tiankui. Even if I hit someone with all my might at the moment, I might not have even hurt them if they practiced Hard Realm internal energy disciplines, so I’d need a quality blade that could break through his qi. If I went that far, then I’d have to kill him. If you asked me to beat him fair and square in a ring, that was asking for the impossible.

“If he wants to compete, Ol’ Yuan, he’s yours.”

“Me?” Yuan Kou frowned. “But I might kill him, too.”

“What’s there to worry about? What to be an official? Commit crimes and take advantage of co-option. Worst comes to worst, gather up your brothers and rebel. I’ll then lead an army to subdue you guys and pretend to lose. I’ll then tell the imperial court that I convinced you to surrender. You’ll be in the perfect position to negotiate favourable terms.”

Yuan Kou held up a thumb. “I shall go kill him now.”

“I wouldn’t count him out so soon.”

“What chance does he have?”

“I can’t speak on his skills, but his internal strength’s potency can rival yours. The only way we’ll find out who’s stronger is if you two fight.”

Yuan Kou headed off.

“All right, I need an afternoon nap. Teng, lower the screen.”

Teng lowered the black curtain and then started snoring.

“It’s all in your hands now. I have to go do something.”

You’re right. I was getting the hell out of there! Only an idiot would wait around to be killed. They could line up until the season changed for all I cared. I had important business to attend to.

“Hope you have a good day.”

I wore on my new mask, transformed myself into the waiter and sneaked out through the back door of the kitchen. You bet I was cautious and triple checked to make sure I wasn’t tailed. I arrived back at the academy in less than an hour.

After searching high and low, I finally found who I was looking for outside Uncle Huang’s room sighing. “Hey, He Shi, I’m looking for you. Why are you running? Hey! Who poisoned Uncle Huang?! Hey! Come back!”

Glossary

Boxing rules within eight kilometres of Nanjing. Kicks rule Beipings twenty-one alleys – There are numerous theories as to why this sort of saying exists, but I side with the belief that the southern disciplines were famous for their hand techniques, while the northern disciplines had kicks that really stood out, so I reckon it’s more that the saying sensationalises the uniqueness rather than actually their focuses. After all, there are tonnes of kicks in southern disciplines just as there are an abundance of hand techniques in northern disciplines. It’s kind of like the situation with Taekwondo, where ITF Taekwondo, which balances hand techniques and kicks, is popularly in oblivion while WTF Taekwondo, which is the Olympic Taekwondo, that emphasises kicks gets more exposure, so Taekwondo gains the rep as a kicking-only discipline.

Why did one region practice more of the other? I think the theory with the most weight would be terrain. It’d be safer to keep your feet planted and fight with your hands on a boat, for example, right? It’d make more sense to focus on hand techniques if you’re going to have to fight in narrow environments or forests, right?

Long Fist – Arguably better known as Changquan and referred to as Long Boxing in the context of actual combat. It’s a fusion of disciplines from northern China. The forms emphasise fully extended striking techniques, part of which is meant to improve mobility in training. From a contemporary standpoint, it’s best known for its acrobatic movements. Bear in mind that its evolution of Jiang Jieshi and the closing of the Nanjing Guoshu Institute saw a shift from it being focused around combat to demonstration focused. I never dove extensively into it, so I can’t explain all the disciplines it combines for you, unfortunately. Fun fact: Jet Li specialised in it.

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