Shui Xian had never felt this helpless in years. She was beyond his understanding and maybe that's why she managed to catch his attention so easily. He didn't feel attracted to her although she was a beautiful young woman. What he felt was a sudden urge to understand her. Because he certainly loved the confidence she exuded.
"If you're not expecting love, what exactly are you expecting from this marriage?"
Raelle had just come back after getting herself another coffee when she heard his question. She stared at him blankly before replying, "Is it weird if I say nothing?" Seeing his expression, she nodded, "Right? It does sound weird. However, that's my honest answer. I'm not expecting anything." Before he could open his mouth to say anything, she continued, "Don't be offended, it's just that I don't have any expectations in my life. When you expect nothing, it leaves you with endless possibilities in life."
His lips curled up slightly as he said, "It's strange but I can't disagree with your words." He rubbed his earlobe out of habit as he questioned, "So, why did you agree to marry me?"
"Because I was told you're handsome," she answered plainly. "And I must add that that's absolutely correct! You're indeed handsome!"
"Uhm... Thank you, I guess!" was all he could utter before her.
Seeing him like this, Raelle chuckled softly and took a sip of her coffee. "Actually, I think it's you who should reconsider your decision to marry me."
"Oh, and why is that?" he asked with graceful simplicity.
"By now, you must have noticed that I'm the odd one out. I stand out in the crowd too much. Not just because of who I am but also because of my beliefs."
Shui Xian had obviously noticed it. Anyone would notice it. She was too vocal about what made her different. She knew what set her apart from the rest but it didn't bother her. She seemed too comfortable with how she was.
"I've noticed," he replied in a casual tone.
"It doesn't bother you?" she questioned with firm persistence.
"Maybe it should bother me but it doesn't," responded Shui Xian sincerely.
A smile bloomed on her lips as a comfortable silence fell between them. Raelle was solely focused on her coffee with her own thoughts. While Shui Xian continued to observe her every movement and every expression.
"What is love to you?" he asked out of the blue.
"Love is just a cocktail," she replied.
He straightened up at her reply. "Cocktail?"
"Isn't it?" she retorted. "Brain chemicals have an affair and make a cocktail. People like to name it love. In reality, love has nothing to even do with the heart." She looked around languidly before continuing, "I can define it in other words."
"Please, do!"
"Love is like being drunk," she began softly. "When a person is drunk, he tends to do all sort of crazy things. And we name that craziness; love. But let's not forget, after every crazy night you have to wake up with a splitting headache and endless regret with a hangover." She wiped her mouth with the napkin slowly and went on, "Two people who claim to be in love are just two drunk people willing to be crazy together. It's just a matter of time when or who becomes sober first and walks away with a hangover."
Shui Xian found himself unable to look away from her. Every word of hers tried to question people's real emotions and feelings. It was terrifying how she could actually convince you with her words. And it was fascinating how she did it.
She propped her chin on her intertwined hands and said, "But since you've been in love before, I believe you won't agree with what I said. So, why don't you tell me, what is love to you?"
"Have you ever seen someone quenching thirst with poison?" His voice had a tinge of nostalgia. "It's a desperate struggle of survival. Either you die from thirst or die from drinking the poison. But the conclusion stays the same, death is inevitable!" He let out a gloomy sigh as he went on, "Likewise, an alcoholic knows that alcohol will kill him but he can't help himself. Despite all the warning signs, human beings are still desperate creatures. The idea of being lonely in the vastness of this universe scares them. And that's why they tend to look for love."
He looked at her who seemed to be listening intently to him with her black eyes staring right back at him. "You can call it alcohol or poison, it's just a way to quench one's thirst or one's obsession. And even if it hurts, sometimes you can't walk away from love."
"But isn't it foolishness?" she questioned with a straight face. "If it hurts, why let yourself go through it?"
"You're right. It's utter madness. Isn't that why people named love; madness? However, always remember that every madness has a reason behind it."
"Clearly, you humans are investing in the wrong thing," she said while shaking her head.
"You humans?" he repeated. "What are you?"
"Me?" Raelle pointed at herself and laughed dryly. "I've been told so many times that I'm like a robot that even I subconsciously believe it now."
"A robot?"
Raelle nodded her head, "Since I can't resonate with seven basic emotions of people namely, joy, anger, anxiety, thought, grief, fear, and fright."
"Interesting..." was all that he said and that caught Raelle off guard. This was not the reaction people usually had regarding her lack of emotions.
With amusement glinting in his eyes, he rubbed his chin and voiced, "I just realized that you are all about facts while I'm all about emotions. We already are in disagreement."
Raelle shrugged her shoulders, "Disagreements are part of a marriage. What matters is that we don't give up. I don't have a habit of doing anything half-heartedly. So, I can assure you that I won't give up trying my best."
Shui Xian placed his hands on the table as he leaned over, "How amusing! We finally have something we can agree on. I also like to give my very best in everything I do."
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