Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 547: Men Should Be Consistent Inside and Out!

"Um, definitely don't get off the rubber raft," Kagura reminded.

"And don't get soaked in the water," Kawaki added mercilessly.

Kawaki/Hasegawa: ...

At this moment, for some reason, Momo smirked, tears of grievance gradually filling his swimming goggles while his whole body trembled slightly.

"Is... is everything okay?" Hasegawa, sweating profusely with black lines at the corners of his eyes, quietly asked Kawaki beside him, "Forget about being companions; we can't even get in the water, General. Even though we didn't fall into the water, the goggles are filled with water, General! Oh no! He's angry! We're going to be beheaded for sure! We're going to be beheaded now!"

"Calm down," Kawaki, with the same expression as Hasegawa, said quietly, but his voice was trembling, and of course, so was his body, "Let's just start making happy summer memories now. What do you think of when you think of summer? What do you think of when you think of a swimming pool? What do you think of when you think of swimwear?"

Suddenly realizing something, Hasegawa glanced at Kawaki with his sunglasses flashing: [Is it... is it...?]

"Alright! Now that everyone's here, let's get started!" Kawaki suddenly raised his fist and shouted, "It's time for the 'Heart-pounding! All-Out Battle of Men and Women in the Water'! Boom boom boom, clang clang clang~"

["Oh no, it's a strip show!!"] Hasegawa thought, feeling like he'd been struck by lightning. [It's perfect, Gin-san! This move will save the General, who is drowning in tears of sorrow!]

"Alright, let's start forming teams of two," Kawaki explained the competition rules, "One person will be the rider sitting on the rubber raft, and the other person will be the horse pulling the rubber raft. The rider loses if they fall off the raft or their headband is removed."

With a smirk, Kawaki continued, "But actually, it doesn't matter if the headband is taken off."

Getting the hidden message in Kawaki's words, Shinpachi, Toujou, Kondo, and the Bijin sisters, all turned and panicked toward the shore.

Watching everyone scrambling for rubber rafts on the shore, Hasegawa smirked and thought, [Have they noticed? It's no wonder Kawaki managed to get those who didn't know the situation on our side in an instant!]

But then, after seeing the teams formed, Hasegawa and Kawaki couldn't laugh anymore. They saw all the Bijin members forming teams of two, surrounding Katsura, their eyes burning with a unique flame called desire, focusing intensely on Katsura's blue beach shorts.

Except for these people, Kondo, Toujou, and Shinpachi were nearby, sitting on the rubber raft, muttering something in their mouths, their eyes devoid of anything but determination.

[Why did it turn out like this?! What are you idiots planning to do while sitting on top?!] Kawaki glared at Shinpachi, Toujou, and Kondo, veins bulging, feeling utterly defeated. [Are you trying to expose yourselves?! These idiots are going crazy with the idea of seeing someone strip, utterly unaware that the situation has changed and there's nothing to see! No, that's not entirely accurate...]

Kawaki turned to the group of Bijin sisters surrounding Katsura, [But... their targets are too obvious! And... they're too united! They're all aiming for that idiot! What's that? A siege?]

"Um... I haven't said I'm participating yet," Katsura, who was still confused, was thrown onto a rubber raft by Otose, expressionless, "Why was the decision made without my consent?"

"Don't worry, Katsura-sama." Otose, standing in front of the rubber raft with Katsura, wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth, "I'll protect you[Beep]'s!"

"To be honest, you're the most dangerous one..." Katsura deadpanned.

"Hmph, boring." Tsukuyo, standing in front of Katsura's rubber raft, huffed and crossed her arms.

"Can you put away your shuriken?" Katsura deadpanned.

"Listen to me, all of you!" Tsukuyo shouted to the eagerly waiting group of Bijin sisters, "Rest when it's time to rest! Play when it's time to play! Work when it's time to work! Got it?!"

"Yes, boss!" the Bijin sisters responded in unison, their eyes locked firmly on Katsura's beach shorts.

"Hey, what did you mean by that earlier?" Katsura sneered.

Beside him, Kawaki, watching the scene, felt his eye twitching uncontrollably, but before he could retort, he suddenly noticed bubbles rising rapidly from the water surface in front of him.

"Ah! Gin-san's riding on me like a horse! Gin-san's riding on me!" Kintoki, kneeling at the bottom of the pool, was so excited he couldn't stop.

[This guy has completely lost it!] Kawaki thought, feeling utterly defeated, while shouting to the people before him, "Hey! Can you guys just calm down a bit?!"

Pointing to Hasegawa, who was drifting alone on the rubber raft, looking lonely with his knees hugged, Kawaki continued, "Hasegawa-san has turned into a castaway stranded on a desert island! Think carefully before reforming teams! The stronger person should be the horse, right?"

"That's right, Aru." Standing in front of Shinpachi, Kagura replied as a matter of course.

"Really!" Kawaki finally realized, scratching his head in frustration, "When you think about it, the girls are stronger!"

"After all, aren't you just thinking about perverted things?" Otose, standing in front of Kondo, said disdainfully, hands on hips, "It's written all over your face."

"Who's interested in your cliffhanger?" Kawaki retorted instantly, feeling irritated, "I'm not a rock climber!"

At the mention of it, a red # symbol appeared above Otose's head.

"Miss Otose! I'm not interested in your bikini bottoms either!" Hasegawa shouted from his crouched position.

"Neither am I!" Otose shouted back with rolled eyes, giving Hasegawa a punch that sent him flying into the water.

"Are you trying to get us killed?!" Tsukuyo turned her face away, looking disdainful.

"Why bother pretending? It's written all over your faces." Tsukuyo turned away, a look of disdain on her face.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Sitting on the rubber raft and picking his ear, Katsura said expressionlessly.

For some reason, Tsukuyo's face turned slightly red, and she turned her face to the other side, speaking softly, "Just... stop pretending. You can't... hide it."

"It's your dumb subordinates who can't hide it!" Kawaki pointed to the group of Bijin sisters eagerly eyeing Katsura.

"Yes, young master, we've never thought of such vulgar things," Toujou said confidently, patting his chest, "Definitely not what you're thinking! Right, Lord Kawaki?"

"That's right, none of those perverted guys..." Kawaki lied without hesitation, but before he could finish, he suddenly heard what sounded like drops of water falling behind him. Immediately turning around, he saw Momo bleeding from the nose, looking severe and enthusiastic.

[Oh no, it's you again, General!] Kawaki was at a loss.

"Um, private horse race, young master," Kawaki turned around to remind Momo, who couldn't stop bleeding from the nose, "You've gotten a little too excited, and everyone can see what you're thinking..."

Momo turned around and looked at Kawaki, speaking seriously again, "Although my family has always been fans of regular triangle briefs, T-back seems like a good choice, too."

"Are you awakening to some new hobby?!" Kawaki exclaimed in exasperation.

"Hey, is this supposed to be heating the atmosphere?" Tsukuyo stared at Momo's crotch, "It's just an old man's butt in underwear."

"Damn it! It's rare to see such noble underwear!" Kawaki scolded seriously.

"You're just trying to make us do perverted things again, aren't you?" Otose sneered, hands on hips, "It's written all over your face."

"Who's interested in your swim trunks?" Kawaki retorted, "I'm not a diver!"

At the mention of it, another red # symbol appeared above Otose's head.

"Miss Otose! I'm not interested in your swim trunks either!" Kondo shouted from his crouched position.

"You're not either!" Otose shouted back, delivering a punch that sent Kondo flying into the water.

"And what was that earlier?" Katsura sneered.

Kawaki, watching the scene, felt his eye twitching uncontrollably again, but before he could retort, he suddenly noticed bubbles rising rapidly from the water surface in front of him.