Chapter 79: What’s His Name?
Below Igor’s house, two individuals were staring at the young man who had just come out of the training room, their eyes bulging.
Jack couldn’t help but be taken aback as he witnessed their reaction. What was all the fuss about? They were looking at his face as if there was something profoundly wrong with It.
“What’s up?” He asked, confused.
“W-what happened to it?!” Bubblegum asked, worried.
It? That’s when he slowly raised his eyes. On top of his head, a tiny wolf pup was happily nestling. Was there anything wrong? As it became the center of attention, Jack’s pet jumped down.
This sure was…peculiar. It was now a flashy orange. Why?! Was this state temporary or long-lasting? It looked so damn silly!
Either way, it happily hopped around, approaching the pink-haired girl. It seemed healthy and hadn’t even noticed any change in its body either.
“A-are you alright?” She carefully asked, lowering herself to its level to rub its ears.
“Wait! Fall back! What if it’s a trick!” Igor screamed with vigor.
“Woo?” (Confused)
The little wolf was just cutely tilting its head, wondering what they were going on about. It stared at Bubblegum’s outstretched dainty hand, expecting some nice petting.
Seeing how innocent it was acting, she couldn’t resist and began to rub its fur all over with the little wolf softly woo-woo-ing in happiness.
The training instructor by the side could only give up with a sigh. These two, no, these three were utterly insane! Didn’t they know the meaning of being safe?
“How are you guys so calm?! An orange wolf isn’t natural!” He protested.
“Meh, braves have seen things far more bizarre.” Jack shrugged.
“Like?”
“After orange cheese and an orange president, an orange wolf isn’t that far-stretched. It’s actually quite stylish.”
Igor recoiled in shock. He wasn’t sure what a president was, but orange cheese?! What kind of sorcery was this?!
“Anyway, don’t worry too much. It’s probably the manifestation of some new ability. I’m guessing we’ll figure it out eventually. I don’t sense any spirit remnant, so it should be safe either way….just slightly peculiar.” Jack reassured.
“So, what’s the wolf’s name?” Bubblegum suddenly asked.
“….” Error 404, name not found.
“….”
“….”
“Don’t tell me you still haven’t named it?! Are you serious? Poor thing!” She uttered.
“Hey, a name is something serious! One cannot just give one randomly. It carries so much meaning and—”
“In summary, you’ve just been lazy AF.” She went straight to the core of the issue.
“Woo?!” (Interested)
The little wolf realized that they were talking about it. It wasn’t sure it completely understood what was going on, but it seemed serious (?) for them to be arguing about it.
“How about it, little one. Do you want a name?” Bubblegum gently offered.
“Woo?” (Confused)
A name? What was that? Could it be eaten? Either way, the little wolf was down to try all kinds of food! It was already salivating as it pictured what the mysterious thing called a “name” would taste like.
Jack couldn’t help but chuckle as he saw how the little one was acting:
“Nope, it’s not something you can eat. It’s how we call one another. For instance, I’m Jack, he’s Igor, and she’s Bubblegum.” He patiently explained.
“Don’t listen to him. I’m Seraph—”
“Overruled! Anyway, that’s how it is. Do you want one?” Jack asked his furry companion.
The wolf couldn’t help but feel strange. Usually, it should have been disappointed that there wasn’t any food…and yet it felt happy? At first, it couldn’t understand its own feelings too well, but then it realized.
This was even better! Getting a name meant that it would finally be part of their pack! It suddenly found itself tearing up with emotion. This wasn’t just better. It was amazing!
Getting picked up by Jack had been the happiest moment of its life, and now this one was a strong contender. How long had it wished to run with the other wolves when it had been even younger? Always!
Jack giving him a name meant that they would stay together for real, right? They’d adventure for a long time! This made it feel so warm and fuzzy inside.
Jack smiled warmly as the little wolf began nodding faster than a woodpecker would drill one sexy ass tree!
“Fine, let’s brainstorm! I’ll go first!” Jack heroically declared!
He took one good look at it before uttering in quick succession:
“Carrot.”
“Cheatos”
“Goldfish.”
“Pumpkin”
“Pup and Cheese.”
“Huge Cheesy Balls.”
Damn, he was on fire! He then turned to the wolf, satisfied:
“So, which one do you prefer?”
The little one began to ponder seriously. It wasn’t sure of the meaning of most of these, but many sounded quite cool.
“WAIT! Don’t pick any of those shitty names! You can’t just name it based on the orange color. What if it recedes later?” Bubblegum interjected.
“Hmm, you do have a point. Actually, be back later. I will consult the holy archives.” Jack admitted before logging off instantly, both human and wolf disappearing in purple light.
“Holy archives, what is that even supposed to mean?!” Bubblegum sighed in the now silent room. “Also, what’s with the purple aura?”
“I’m not sure. All I know is that it’s not the aura of a brave leaving this world. As for what it actually is….only the gods know.” Igor solemnly answered.
They could only wait for him to come back….
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Jack slowly stretched as he removed his VR helmet.
He would have to come up with a good name for his pup. He precisely knew what to do: when in doubt, Goggle it!
<Good wolf name list…>
He quickly browsed a few links but kept frowning in disgust. These were all typical boring names! Why the heck would he call his wolf Robert?! It was fine for a human….but for a wolf…really?!
Without waiting further, he slowly created a new thread on purpleddit. The process only took him about 15 min— he had forgotten his password again…-_-
<Suggest a wolf name now. It’s for a pet in an MMO. Thanks in advance!>
This ought to do it, right? As he waited, he went for a night of sleep, aka 30 minutes with a timer. How could anyone manage not to be groggy after such short rest? The trick was to use one of the songs of old.
This time he used one of the most hated tunes of all time. It went baby, baby, baby something, and it was pure torture! Upon hearing it, Jack almost smashed his phone, but the disgust successfully woke him.
He checked his thread with eagerness. Hopefully, he would have received a few suggestions, right? But as he was surprisingly shocked by how many there were.
He slowly went over each carefully.
– Thor: Cool sounding, but wouldn’t it be quite pitiful without lightning powers?
– Adolf: Heartwarming name that 100% inspired trust, but perhaps not intimidating enough?
– Braggadocious: Now, that’s just boastful. His wolf would become a true powerhouse eventually!
– Wolfgang AGM-114 Hellfire: This one was oddly specific, perhaps slightly too much.
– Sif: Awesome name, but carried too much baggage.
– Lions: What?! Why?!
– Puppers: It would hopefully grow up at some point.
– Terra: A little bit too dignified for an orange wolf.
– Dusk: Edgy…not that it was necessarily a bad thing.
– Bone: Wasn’t that the name of a show?
– Luna (ris): Wouldn’t it suddenly turn into a werewolf?!
– Sobaka: Silly wolf, eh? Did he really want people he met asking for the meaning all the time?
– Sabastion: Cool name.
– Skull: Necromancer-themed.
– Little Pie: The Unnamed God approves for sure!
– Furry Fucker: What is this, a porn-star name?! His player name wasn’t Johny Sin
– Donuts: How to make one hungry 101.
– J.K Howling: He sure liked to howl…so maybe?
– Wigglebutt the third: Now this one was just epic!
– Terry Chews: I see what you did there.
There were so many that were extraordinarily great or questionable.
He quickly returned to Infinite, his brain working non-stop, trying to find a name. As he spawned, he noticed Bubblegum and Igor, training by the side. They were so focused that they didn’t even see him.
This sure was one interesting fight:
Dagger VS Battle Hammer!
Beauty VS the Beast!
Rookie VS Veteran!
Either way, Jack placed his attention on the little wolf. It was eagerly staring at him, its tail shaking from side to side.
“So, what kind of name do you want? Funny, Edgy or Epic?” Jack asked the little one.
It seemed deep in thought for a few seconds. Then it slowly raised two paws in the air resolutely.,
“Epic?”
“Woo!” (Nodding)
“What were you going to do if you wanted option #3?” Jack raised a brow.
“Woo?!” (Perplexed)
“Woo!” (Existential crisis!)
The wolf suddenly realized it didn’t have enough front paws! Also, how did it know how to count? Also also, why was it suddenly orange?! It waved a few times, wondering what had happened to its fur.
“Alright, I guess our best bet is a dragon-worthy name….” Jack pondered.
“Woo!” (Outraged!)
It instantly protested. A dragon’s name?! No way! Its goal was to make dragons run akin to cowardly lizards in the future. It needed a wolf name, a legendary wolf name, one that would resound across the entire world!
Jack could feel the power of its conviction. It really was insistent on that point. Did this mean Fenrir or Sif? It wasn’t like many were more renowned than them. But suddenly, Jack had a flash of insight.
“I actually have a suggestion.”
The wolf perked its ears.
“Once upon a time, there was a powerful wolf that managed to conquer a holy land known as the Internet in one go. It was revered and loved by many as a symbol of hope and greatness.”
At this point, the little wolf was completely hooked. It looked even more entranced than when it looked at a piece of medium-rare human flesh. It was even mesmerized!
“You also love to howl, right?”
“Woo!” (nodding over and over!)
“How about a name mixing a legendary composer of the olden days along with this legendary wolf warrior’s name?” Jack proposed.
“Woo!!!” (Hell yeah!)
That is when the two of them finally settled for a name. Jack didn’t know what the world would think of it. But, this was probably the best name that he could come up with. At least, it was more respectable than cheesy balls…
On the side, the two duelists finally realized their presence. But the clanging of the weapons had utterly drowned the conversation. They finally stopped, approaching the master and pet in a hurry.
“You’re finally back! So, let’s keep the brainstorming going.” Bubblegum said. She seemed really motivated to save the wolf from a horrendous name.
“No, need, we have already settled on one.” Jack smiled brightly.
Bubblegum couldn’t help but have an awful feeling about this. That’s when the wolf took the most majestic pose it could muster, full of prideful arrogance. Even then, it still looked incredibly silly.
Jack solemnly introduced his wolf in an official manner for the very first time:
“May I present to you all the mighty: ….Wolfgang Amadeus Moon Moon!”
The two seemed so content with this.
“So, what do you think?” Jack proudly asked.
How was she supposed to react to this….
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Creator’s Thought
One thing for sure, no matter the wolf’s official name I would still keep the prerogative to call him whatever I wanted. One could have multiple nicknames after all. No matter what Bubblegum said, Huge Cheesy balls sounded epic in my eyes. The perfect play on his courage and his color, right?!
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