"That's when I started dating women, I tried to forget you but I couldn't. Every time I'm with another woman, I see your face. I dreamed of you every night, crying. I slept with different women but I have never allowed them to kiss me. I was so messed up because I couldn't forget you. One night, I had a nightmare. Your father raping and killing my mother. Then I saw you and Caden taken away by him. It seems so real and I was screaming your name when I woke up. That's when I decided to kill myself. I had a gun for protection and I took it. Put some bullets in it and point it here." He continued while pointing at his chin.
"I was ready to pull the trigger when Dad rushed into our bedroom followed by Luke and Percy. The next day, Kyle arrived and talked to me. He asked me to come to the hospital and so I did. That's when I met Amanda. We started as friends, trying to cope up with depression. She invited me to hang out with her a few times but I declined. Kyle said it's okay to go out sometimes and so I did what he told me. Eventually it became a habit and then she confessed. I told her you're the only woman in my heart but she said she'll stay with me. I tried to put my attention on her and talked to Kyle about it. He said if it's what my heart desires, he wouldn't try to stop me."
I began to cry into his chest. I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. It hurts a lot. Not because he decided to forget or tried to love another woman, but I could feel his pain to the point that he wanted to end his life. He hugged me tight, caressing my back.
"Hey I thought you're not going to cry." He said in a gentle voice.
"Please continue." I said.
I know he was surprised but still continued.
"When I felt like I still couldn't love Amanda, I started looking for you again. I was checking on the paperworks one day and accidentally found Caden's drawings. My heart softened and melted. I suddenly wanted to see both of you. I told Luke and the others about it and at first, Alora was worried. She scolded me but I told her I really wanted to see you and at least talk to you. I needed closure. If I find you, I will just be Caden's father. That time, I was still hating you. When I found you in Sydney, I wanted to pull you in my arms and begged you to come back to me. I couldn't deny that I missed you. But the words I wanted to say and the things I wanted to do came out differently. I hurt you, which I regret later. So after forcing myself on you and seeing you hurt like that, I wanted to give up and let you go."
I calmed down a bit when he started kissing me on my face.
"But I'm really glad we didn't give up on each other. If we did, I think I'd be dead by now." He said, joking.
I slapped him on the shoulder and pouted.
"Don't say that! I won't let you!" I said.
He chuckled and pulled me again closer to him.
"Did you meet some guys during those three years you were away?" He asked.
I tilted my chin up and looked at him.
"I did. A bunch of guys asked me out. But I never accepted any of it." I answered.
"But you accepted George's." He commented.
"How did you know that?" I asked, curiously.
"Caden was sending photos and messaging Alira almost everyday. Alira will come to me every morning waking me up and every night before I go to sleep. She was ranting and scolded me, saying she won't talk to me again if you two won't come back." He answered, amused.
"The kids were really something. You said Caden left his drawings in every place we stayed in? Did you find them in one spot?" I asked, curiously.
"Yes. The first one, I found it by accident then the rest, I checked his room and it was always beneath the bed. I still have them. I'll show it to you when we get home." He said.
"Love, I know I haven't told you but grandpa is sick and Kyle said he got a year to live. I want to stay here for now. Only if it's okay with you."
He kissed me on the lips and answered.
"I know. Kyle already told me earlier about it and it's fine. I already asked Luke that I would be taking a break from work and he agreed. We could stay here for the time being. Grandpa was asking Kyle to take the throne now. He would abdicate the throne and let Kyle and Emily rule." He said.
I wasn't surprised about it but I know it's two years early and Kyle might be worried if he could do it.
"I am hoping that Grandpa will be cured. I don't want to lose anyone." I said, sadly.
Jayden didn't say a word. Maybe because he knows the feeling of losing someone, that he didn't want to explain it to me since it was too painful.
"What will be your first word to your father?" He suddenly asked.
I took a deep breath and stared in his eyes.
"I don't know. I wanted to ask him a lot of questions but I don't know what's the first one that I want an answer. How about you?" I answered.
"I only have one question for him." He said.
I frowned. I thought he also had a lot to ask.
"What is it?" I asked, confused.
"I just want to ask if he killed my mother? I just need a simple answer, a yes or a no."
We were staring at each other, trying to read each other's eyes. I wanted to know his true feelings. If I saw just an ounce of pain in his eyes, I would ask him to not meet my father.
But all I saw in his eyes were his overflowing love for me. He said he already accepted the worst and forgiven my father if he was involved. I thought he said that so I won't get worried, but it was really the truth. He learned to forgive, for me and Caden. For our family.
We were still remembering the days we were apart and telling stories about those times, when someone knocked. We fixed ourselves and sat down on the couch. A servant entered and announced that Matthew Forelli just arrived.
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