Chapter 707: Side Chapter: A Grave Conversation
Just what does pride truly amount to... if even you yourself do not adhere to the level of respect you have for yourself?
As Amelia stood in place, beset by the stench of death and decay pervading through the very soil, the bed of grass beneath her feet sullying her gown with the winter dew of night, this passing thought strayed into her mind. The very question itself, as if holding her very being in high contempt... and for all the right reasons.
For she chose to be here, did she not? To meet with him, to once more bear the agony of his company, and that inept, dopey look in his eyes whenever he looked at her. Like prey moments before their blood and guts would be strewn across the earth.
Every time she would meet his eyes, she couldn’t help but be reminded of that notion, and how at times of great irritation, her claws would twitch in the face of such an enticing temptation... but then, gradually, ever so subtly, something strange began to happen.
She suddenly realized she had become somewhat accustomed to it.
And being here, gazing at him now, a disheveled mess of a man reeking of booze and a strange peppery odor, and as always still with that same stupid look in his eyes as he gaped silently at her in utter shock...
Amelia found herself not even the tiniest bit tempted by the thought.
.....
With another begrudging sigh, she strode closer forward, flicking a throwaway glance at the faded inscriptions etched on the tombstone he had been huddled the closest to, and felt her brow rising only slightly.
“Theresa Leaden, parting with a love remembered and forever treasured by those she most cherished,” Amelia recited the epitaph aloud, shifting her gaze back towards Tyler with mildly roused interest. “A sentiment ringing profoundly true, it seems. In the dark, in the cold... you’re quite the devoted one, aren’t you?”
“A-Amelia...” He stuttered her name again, from the chill, from shock, the dumb frozen stiff look on his face bore signs of either possibility. “How? What? How the fu... How are you even here right now?”
At his words, the thought in her head popped up in her head once again. A question of pride, a question of dignity... but when it really came down to it... what does any of that amount to truly when compared to indulging a persistent plea from your loveable sister?
The answer-nothing.
“Coincidence seems the most convenient, effortless answer to the question you pose,” She said, brushing it off. “So let’s just simply leave it at that, this encounter here, merely the whims of fate, enigmatic. Agreed?”
“Uh... yeeeaa... enig... egg? okay?”
Tyler appeared to be still in the process of deciphering her words, but her patience refused to be tested for any longer, and so she moved over past him, getting a better view of Theresa’s grave.
“Your mother, I presume,” She said. “Indulge me, how did she die? Was she ill?”
“Nah, she, uhh...” Tyler shifted in place awkwardly. “She just got tired of living, I guess.”
“So bored and exhausted with life that she could not even consider staying if only for her son?” Amelia glanced at him from the corner of her eye, scoffing. “Quite the inconsiderate mother she was, it seems,”
“Hey, hey, don’t you talk to her like-”
“And quite the filial son you still inexplicably remain,” She whirled back around him, crossing her arms together. “Resentment, anger, had it been me in your place this grave would have already long been crumbled for such a selfish act.”
Tyler broke free of his frozen state, the idiotic look in his eyes replaced by one of sobered defiance. “The fuck is this coming from, Amelia? You don’t even know a damn thing about her, how can you spout that kind of shit like you do? Not cool.”
“I know undoubtedly that she regards you so very little if she would choose a bed of earth over her own child,” Amelia said, remaining unfazed and apathetic.
“She was in pain, for fucks sake,” He exclaimed, aggressively flinging his arm out towards her grave. “My dad left her, backstabbed her, left her with pennies and debts skyrocketing. All on her own with nothing.”
“She had you,” She pointed out. “Are you worth nothing to her, after all?”
“It’s not like that, she just-! Look, you agree that kind of shit is too much for literally anybody to deal with, don’t ya? I get what you’re trying to tell me, but I just don’t give a shit, aight? I don’t blame her for wanting for it to be all over. As far as I’m concerned, she doesn’t owe me a damn thing.”
“Yes, she does!”
Without thinking, she shouted, she was annoyed. Why was she shouting? Why was she annoyed? This was none of her business. Why was she still insisting?
Why was she still even speaking?
“How can you dare claim that she doesn’t? You would willingly absolve her of this grievous sin towards you?” Her arms fell back down to her side, a single heavy step bringing them face-to-face. “You are her child, you are her responsibility! And she abandoned that duty, abandoned you, and for what? If she knew all too well the hardships of this world, why would she ever think it best to leave you off on your own in it?”
“You think I’m blind? You think I didn’t see all that shit for myself?” Tyler said, remaining in place even before her sharp glare. “Every day I wake up, I go to school, I come back for dinner, every time I see her, talk to her-I know for damn sure she was always thinking about it! All day! I had to live my entire childhood knowing that one day she’ll stop thinking about doing it and actually do it! And guess what-one day, she did! I couldn’t stop her, I couldn’t help her! All I can do now is thank her for even managing to hold out for as long as she could! Long enough to make absolutely sure I was really fucking loved. So she was not selfish, alright? She was not inconsiderate! My mother was simply just depressed.”
What an infuriating feeling. What an infuriating person. Amelia felt her annoyance coursing through her veins. How could he not get it? How could he be so unconditional?
“You did not ask to exist, you did not choose to be born in a circumstance such as yours... ” Amelia slowly said, speaking with an emotion she couldn’t quite unravel. “That was her choice, her decision, and not one you should be allowed to just so easily renounce. No child deserves to be left alone as you have. Your mother didn’t end her pain, she just passed it over to you.”
Something was stirring inside her, an image, the faintest, fuzziest glint of a memory, one she quickly stamped out with a hard blink.
“Well, tough shit for me, I guess,” Tyler raised his arms out. “Guess what? Still love her, though.”
“Why?”
“Because I remember her smiling. Because I remember the long hours she spent busting her ass all day long at work. You got any idea how difficult it is to smile after crying your eyes out just the other night? Despite the pain she was feeling, my mother smiled... she didn’t have to, but she did... no matter the bullshit, she did the best she could for me. Gave all that she got until she couldn’t give anymore. That ain’t her fault. Just-ah fuck, I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore!”
Tyler then scratched his head vigorously, clicking his tongue out of pure exasperation.
“Point is, Amelia,” He finally continued, a heavy sigh manifesting in the form of white smoke. “If she can smile, if she can choose to love me despite the pain she was left with... then so can I.”
Amelia gazed silently at the man before her. She could hear his sincerity, see his naivety, his kindness... and it made her want to retch in disgust. But she could see that he was also stubborn... and especially in a topic such as this, fiercely so.
“So be it, then,” She said, choosing to relent, for to argue any more on this would only serve to rouse more pointless aimless outrage. And besides... “I don’t care much either way anyway how you choose to devote your love upon others.”
“Sounds like you just don’t want an argument,” Tyler pointed out, his expression immediately softening as he took a swig of his drink in hand. “Fine by me. I hold nothing against you. Agree to disagree. Besides, probably gonna need a goddamn dictionary if we’re really gonna throw hands.”
This entire encounter has strayed quite far from what she had in mind originally. This kind of conversation, this dour an ambiance, she had not intended for any of this. If only he just hadn’t been so persistent, if only she hadn’t chosen to argue... alas, it didn’t really matter anymore now.
Adalia’s request rang echoed once more in her mind, and she knew she could never live it down should she return to her and bring forward bearing only news of disappointment.
Pride be damned.
“As I recall it...” Amelia slowly began, folding her arms again, with a strained gaze instantly veering downwards. “You mentioned before that you’d like for us to spend more time together again, didn’t you?”
An explosion resounded... to be more accurate, it was more like a sputter, a loud sprinkler, as a cloud of beer jetted out of Tyler’s lips.
“Big Man’s my fuckin’ hero...” He whispered seemingly on the verge of tears, soaked and dripping droplets around his chin. “Did, uh... did Adalia talk to you or something?”
“Perhaps...” Amelia stiffly said. “Look, I’ve little patience. Decide. You either get tonight now or never.”
“Fuck yeah, tonight! Absolutely!” Tyler yelled, his demeanor flushed with newfound energy. “Like hell I’m gonna pass you up! Let’s do it!”
“Very good,” She said, feeling her lips involuntarily twitch at the words. “Then let us not dawdle long. Your car’s eastbound, yes? I’ll go on ahead.”
“Yeah, for sure, for sure!” He said, too high on euphoria to even question how she knew where he parked. “Lemme just say goodbye to mom real quick, be right there.”
Then like veering from a disease contagious, Amelia quickly turned herself away, following the winding narrow path toward the exit of the cemetery. For a brief moment, it was just her, the faint shuffled of her footsteps, and the deafening sound of her thoughts.
That tombstone, the actions of a long-departed stranger... how did she allow herself to get so riled up about something so trivial? To quarrel and argue. She was more than aware it was not her place to do so... yet she did so anyway. Why? What was she even really arguing about in the first place? And just what exactly was she trying to achieve in doing so?
To claim a small victory over a petty argument of no actual significance? To turn a filial son against his own beloved mother? Or was she simply after all just lashing out in anger?
Out of pain...
“So!” with a rapid scurry of shoes, Tyler caught up to her, wearing a wide beaming smile. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I actually came up with a bunch of good fuckin’ ideas for us to do! I learned my lesson from last time, forget the simple stuff. We go big! See, I’m thinking we-”
“I refuse,” She immediately interjected. “Should we attempt to go with your impulses again, then consider this night over and done with.”
“Huh...” frowning, his mind took a second to comprehend whatever she had just said. “So what? You don’t wanna... you don’t wanna hear my ideas?”
“Precisely.”
“Shit, then what?” Tyler looked at her. “You want me to just drive you around all night like before? That’s boring! C’mon, I really do have some good plans in mind this time, just-”
“I’ve indulged your whims for quite long enough already,” Amelia flatly stated, then faintly, perhaps a little wickedly, the corner of her lips began to twitch upwards ever so slightly. “Now I believe it is time for you to indulge in some of mine.”
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