839 A Silver Bond, Part I think I broke Amanda again.

Her mind shattered, her sense of self buried beneath the rubble of her psyche. Honestly, she looked pretty scary.

Nothing moved. Not her arms, not her stare, even the blowing wind had seemingly vacated the premises, leaving her usual fluttery locks of hair to simply fall limp.

But compared to surprise love letters, however, surprise silver rings didn’t rank too high on the list of surprises for tonight.

Probably because she believes herself under the impression that she’s seen this same kind of silvery luster too many times before already.

Indeed, the first words out of her mouth after a long while, the first look she gave rousing back to reality was the amused kind of confusion when you absolutely have no idea how to even react.

“It’s a ring,” she said slowly, chuckling away the obvious. “You’re, umm… you’re giving me back the ring I gave you?”

I didn’t give a chance for her misunderstanding to grow. As soon as she spoke, I whipped my phone out of my pocket, letting the thin metal chain unravel, dangling loose a similar glimmer of silver fastened still for her eyes to see.

“Am I though?” I asked, feeling my smile stretch larger as the bewilderment in her eyes did too.

.....

Y’know, no one told me how fun rattling and dumbfounding Amanda actually was. She’s like a deer in headlights, it’s adorable.

No wonder she keeps trying to pull the wool over my eyes every goddamn chance she gets. It’s pretty addictive, not even joking.

“That’s not… you didn’t…?” Amanda stammered and stopped, visibly straining the gears in her head to their limit. “Was there someone selling one online?”

“Maybe there was,” I said, shifting my knee in the snow. “But not this one.”

“Not that…?” She threw rapid-fire blinks. “Then what is that?”

“It’s Frederika’s ring…”

“Yeah, I know what it – ”

“Frederika’s ring, Amanda,” I said slower, clearer, then finally, the confusion cleared from her eyes, and she froze once more, realization settling in. “The one and only.”

Amanda suddenly staggered forward, teetering slow, like a wobbly egg in human form. My best guess was that she couldn’t decide whether to lunge herself at me or stay right where she was, and so last-second just wound up landing somewhere in an awkward middle of both.

“And you just… have that with you… now…” she said, swaying slightly to the left. “How?”

“Let’s just say my dad was pretty well-connected back in his day,” I replied. “But of course, you’d know more about that than I would, wouldn’t you?”

“I? Me know? No. No – not…nothing in the game has ever stated that Le…”

“You want to talk about plot holes now? Seriously?” I said, a large puff of cold air blowing from my lips. “Regardless of anything, Amanda, the ring’s right here, and it’s real… and it’s yours.”

Amanda jerked a little again, probably still hung up over choosing between her split-second impulses.

“Mine?”

I nodded.

“Yours.”

Third time streak of entering another bout of long, eternally lasting silence… and that was coincidentally when I also learned my limits of how long I could be left kneeling before I would just give up on patience and get up.

I got up.

Taking the initiative, the first few steps in closing the distance – and Amanda had no idea what was even happening up until there was barely an inch of snow separating our feet.

She immediately backed away, out of shock, out of apprehension – whatever – but I managed to catch her in time before she could airhead her way up and over the fence, grabbed her hand, pulled her close… I don’t know if she even knows what she herself was doing anymore.

“Funny thing, this ring…” I muttered, holding the jagged, crooked silver band out into the narrow, empty space between us, letting it glisten more in the moonlight, shimmer more in her eyes. “Unlike the one you gave me, doesn’t matter what finger you put this one on, it always just seems to fit perfectly – doesn’t hurt, doesn’t scrape – it’s as comfortable as comfortable gets.”

Then, sliding my way gently to the tip of her fingers, I began to pull at her glove, feeling it slowly but surely slip loose into her bare, soft skin.

“Almost like magic, y’know?”

The glove went off, and I had her hand laying at rest atop my palm while Amanda just stared, just watched… as if she was merely a bystander to what was happening here.

It’s strange. By now, I pictured here to be squealing, beaming a beautiful smile that could rival the brightest star hanging right above us. A hearty giggle, her hazel eyes shaping in that soft slant of pure elation, and maybe somewhere in the midst of things, she’d throw in a joke.

But there was none of that present here, and really, it was no wonder why that was. The only reason I even had those expectations was that I was so used to being the one on the other end of the surprise. I’m always the one reacting, and she was always the one giving and giving, yet never expecting despite always being so damn insistent.

You turn the tables on our usual dynamic, and this is exactly what we get: she wasn’t used to being the one in my shoes, to be the one receiving, to be the one so overwhelmed with emotions that you can’t even feel, can’t even think.

Now it was my turn to fulfill her role, to be the one laughing, the one loving, to be the one overwhelming without relent… and honestly, it wasn’t as she made it look.

My heart was beating madly, all kinds of weird, pulsating feelings threatening to trip me up and make a bumbling idiot out of me, to ruin this moment.

Really, it was actually amazing how effortlessly she could keep doing this to me over and over, and every moment with her always ends up being as special and memorable as the last.

Now it all comes down to me, to this moment, to make sure that this will not be an exception.

Amanda coughed, and she immediately did her best to suppress it. Her face was as flushed as I’ve ever seen it. There was a faint rustle, and it was then I was reminded she was holding onto both my sketch and letter still so tightly, preciously…

She looked at me, and briefly in her eyes, I saw it… I saw her expecting, I saw her waiting… wanting for more…

Wanting for me.

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