Chapter 105
TL: KSD
“If you don’t know what to write about, it’s not a bad idea to pick three things that catch your eye and use them as your topics. That’s how a ‘writing’ competition works. They give you a random topic and you have a few hours to…”
“That’s good. But if you change the expression here, it gives a milder feeling…”
“How about we cut off the protagonist’s legs?”
EP 7-Isomer
The filming of <Let’s Become a Novelist!> went smoothly. The reason could be traced back to the quality of the participants. I realized this after teaching them myself.
The members cast by PD Shim Yeon-ho were people who originally had a connection to writing or had some literary talent.
If Gu Yu-na was taught one thing and she understood ten, the members of <Let’s Become a Novelist!> when taught one thing would understand about two things.
Thus, they could also be referred to as 0.2 Gu Yu-nas. (TL: It’s like they are 0.2 if Gu Yu-na is 1.)
It might sound like a curse, but it’s a compliment.
But if there are 0.2 Gu Yu-nas, there are also 0.05 Gu Yu-nas.
The title of 0.05 Gu Yu-na, who learns half of what is taught, was taken by Min…
Min……
Min something idol had taken up that nickname. Anyway, idol names these days are so similar it’s hard to remember them. It’s definitely not because my memory is bad.
“Why don’t you know this?”
“Uh……!”
A girl with a trendily beautiful appearance flinched as if she were hurt.
If this had been a variety show scene, a skull bomb would have hit the idol right in the chest.
It was a scene that naturally induced sympathy, but I wasn’t foolish enough to dote on a middle schooler who was almost six years younger than me.
And there was a more important issue at hand now.
“Yu-na, catch her.”
“Okay.”
“Aaaaah!”
I had Yu-na catch Min something version 2.
And I presented her with the highly unorthodox document she had created, exposing her sins.
“Look, ‘?’ is not a different concept from ‘?’; it’s simply a contraction of ‘??’.” (TL: “Look, ‘dwae’ is not a different concept from ‘dwi,’ simply a contraction of ‘doeeo'”)
“But, but if you look here, ‘??’ is written as ‘???’…” (TL: “But, but if you look here, ‘malgeun’ is written as ‘maalgan’…”)
“That’s poetic license.”
Spelling is a serious matter.
Grammar has been a sacred law passed down from ancient times, and those who violate it should rightly be destroyed, excommunicated, and annihilated by the inquisitors of the NIKL.
(National Institute of Korean Language).
Although I am not a blessed crusader granted the right to uphold these sacred laws, my heart is engraved with the sincere belief to protect the true commandments, so why should I be bound by anything?
Losing one’s faith is akin to facing death!
The common trend of slandering those who adhere to grammar as ‘Grammar Nazis’ is widespread, but that is a terribly incorrect term.
It would be more appropriate to call them ‘Guardians of Grammar’, ‘Missionaries of Grammar’, ‘Crusaders of Grammar’, ‘Knights of Grammar’, ‘Mujahideen of Grammar’.
“Do not confuse ? and ? again. There will be no second forgiveness.” (TL: “Do not confuse ‘dwi’ and ‘dwae’ again. There will be no second forgiveness.”)
“I, I’m sorry……!”
Thus, there was a minor incident of disciplining a ‘grammar heretic’ and guiding them onto the path of correct academia, but overall, the first filming ended in a generally smooth atmosphere.
“Hmm……”
However, being a warm and thoughtful educator, I reflected on my lesson and contemplated what needed to be supplemented.
“We’ll need a textbook.”
What I hadn’t noticed was that the variety show participants were literature students starting from zero base.
Whether in the past or now, I was not prepared to teach people who were completely ignorant about literature because I had communicated with experts like Gu Yu-na and Gu Hak-jun.
In that case, there’s a need to provide literary education starting from zero for those literature students at the zero-base.
Fortunately, I knew an expert in that field.
Without hesitation, I called that expert.
“Hello? Ah, Professor Gu Hak-jun?”
If I had known earlier that this would be the start of a domino effect, I might have thought it over a bit more.
“Yes, yes, I’ll contact you often from now on. I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing much, but could I possibly get some literary textbooks used at the university? For freshmen.”
“Thank you. Could I also get a few copies of <Even Beginners Can Do It! How to Become a Novelist> that you wrote……?”
“Of course, I know it. I’ve read it a lot. What? You’re asking what’s going on? Ah, yes. I’m currently teaching literature on a variety show…….”
* * *
South Korea, a country that became independent immediately after World War II, was one of the many colonies that gained independence, and it was a chess piece of the Blue Team, called the Free World or the Western-Capitalist bloc.
South Korea served as an excellent shield on the front lines of the Cold War, and at the same time, it was an airbase targeting Beijing and Vladivostok.
Moreover, it even managed to supply manpower during the unexpectedly prolonged Vietnam War, which means it fully served its purpose as one of the newly established satellite nations created by the United States.
Therefore, the United States recognized Korea not as a minion but as a partner, and as a result, Korea has been living relatively well until now.
That’s all there is to the story.
But if you look closer, it’s different.
The nation that has lived on this land called the Korean Peninsula or the Joseon Peninsula for thousands of years had to experience an unprecedented tragedy in its history.
The Korean War.
This terrible civil war that completely destroyed all foundations of the Korean Peninsula made it one of the most miserable and impoverished places in the world.
Numerous orphans were sold all over the world like clearing out leftover stock, and among them was a baby sold to France.
And like the leftover stock he was sold as, the baby was quickly abandoned,
As an Oriental in Paris, he was treated worse than a sewer rat, worked in the dirtiest jobs,
And like the rats in the sewers, wandered the shadows of the city until he became ill and died young.
But as a compensation for a lifetime of suffering, that Oriental was able to send his only son to school,
And that son was Gu Hak-jun.
And that son became the first Oriental to win France’s greatest honor, the Prix Goncourt Prize for literature.
This story moved the entire world. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Western world actively idolized Gu Hak-jun’s case to emphasize the superiority of free democracy.
Korea, which was struggling with the IMF crisis at the time, was no exception.
Although Gu Hak-jun was a Frenchman born in France and educated in Paris, that didn’t matter. People just needed someone to worship, to forget the harsh realities…
Every day, large corporations collapsed. Heads of families were driven to the streets, and those crushed by despair threw themselves into the Han River.
The entire society writhed in pain, and even news anchors cried, lamenting how we had fallen into a debt-ridden third-rate country.
Thus, Gu Hak-jun was crucial evidence at that time that our Korean people were not suffering from a lack of capability.
It was around that time that Gu Hak-jun held a press conference in his broken Korean.
He decided to immigrate to Korea.
Startled French journalists asked.
– Why?!
– To learn, the literature, of my roots.
What happened afterward goes without saying.
He became a living hero.
“Hello, I’m novelist Gu Hak-jun.”
Those who remember that era cannot take the name “Gu Hak-jun” lightly.
If one were to categorize Gu Hak-jun’s reputation, he was closer to a ‘sports hero’ than a novelist.
More people knew about Gu Hak-jun’s historical achievements than his literature, and there was an authority there that went beyond mere popularity.
If he had wanted, he could easily have become a member of the National Assembly, and even now, he receives offers every election season as a prominent social figure.
This was why the CEO of the broadcasting station personally came down to greet him when Gu Hak-jun visited.
* * *
“Hello, I am Kim Seung-hwan, the CEO of Baekhak Cultural Broadcasting.”
“Oh, there’s no need for such a formal welcome…….”
PD Shim Yeon-ho felt like he was going to lose his mind watching the CEO and Gu Hak-jun shaking hands.
Seeing the department head of the variety department glaring at him from behind the CEO made him feel even more nervous.
After the CEO left.
Barely holding onto his wits, Shim Yeon-ho, spurred only by Gu Hak-jun’s mere presence which had summoned the CEO, finally managed to ask him.
“Um, um, what brings you here……?”
“Ah, In-seop asked me to bring some stuff over.”
Gu Hak-jun was carrying various things in his arms. In his left hand, he held university textbooks, and in his right, a manual titled <Even Beginners Can Do It! How to Become a Novelist>.
PD Shim Yeon-ho tried to quickly take them, but he missed the opportunity because Moon In-seop hurried over as soon as he saw them.
“Ah, you’re here?”
“Moon-gun!”
Gu Hak-jun’s eyes seemed to drip with honey as he looked at Moon.
In the pyramid of PD Shim Yeon-ho’s heart, Moon’s rank climbed a notch.
“Ah, thank you. I really needed this. But you didn’t have to come in person…….”
“No, how could I not contribute a hand to such a great broadcast!”
“Then, would you like to give a lecture?”
Moon naturally led Gu Hak-jun to the lectern. As a current university professor, Gu Hak-jun naturally stood at the lectern.
Gu Hak-jun began lecturing naturally in front of the bewildered cast and came down from the lectern 1 hour and 30 minutes later with a relieved expression.
Then, as if something had occurred to him, he clapped his hands.
“Ah!”
Gu Hak-jun spoke to PD Shim Yeon-ho.
“PD-nim, if it’s not too much trouble, I know a great educator who…”
From behind Gu Hak-jun, the main writer shook her head vehemently.
But Shim Yeon-ho, the variety show PD.
He was a man who didn’t fear writing apology letters.
“…An educator, you say?”
“Yes! A very good educator indeed.”
* * *
Thus, the department head of the creative writing department at Baekhak Arts Middle School appeared at the broadcasting station.
“Ah, hello. I am Novelist Park Chang-woon.”
However, the broadcasting station people, being quite ignorant about literature, considered the title of former Minister of Culture more important than that of a novelist.
Poor BMB CEO had to make a hasty U-turn as he was about to leave work.
“Hello, Minister. I am Kim Seung-hwan, CEO of Baekhak Cultural Broadcasting…”
“Oh, don’t make it sound so formal, what Minister? I’m just Park Chang-woon, a teacher teaching kids at the academy.”
Park Chang-woon was a figure from an era when novelists held fragments of political power. Back then, it wasn’t strange. The strange thing was that a man from that era was still alive and walking around.
This was partly because Park Chang-woon entered the literary world at a very young age and was active, and simply because Park Chang-woon was a case of staying healthy even in old age.
Anyway, since many of Park Chang-woon’s contemporaries were mostly senior politicians, and he himself was a senior, the broadcasting station CEO respectfully greeted Park Chang-woon.
Of course, the fact that Kim Seung-hwan, the CEO, bent his back at a 90-degree angle was largely due to Park Chang-woon’s political alignment coinciding with that of the ruling party.
“Alright, alright, we’ll start the special lecture now!”
However, Park Chang-woon’s primary role was as a novelist, and he strove to be faithful to that.
Therefore, Park Chang-woon started a relay lecture following Gu Hak-jun.
At this point, the original schedule was already two hours over.
Yet, the reason the shooting continued was that many of the cast members were S-class celebrities who could adjust their own schedules, and they found the current situation both enjoyable and beneficial.
However, Min Hyo-min’s manager was alternately threatening and pleading with the PD to let them go because the schedule had overrun, and if Shim Yeon-ho hadn’t been crazy, they might have managed to escape.
Regardless of Min Hyo-min’s anxiety and whether her manager was scolded by his direct boss, Park Chang-woon finished his lecture satisfactorily and stepped down.
And PD Shim Yeon-ho, already deep in the dark arts and having decided to offer apologies as a sacrifice to summon ratings, asked:
“Writer Park Chang-woon, if I may be so bold, could you perhaps recommend another lecturer?”
“Hmm?”
Park Chang-woon thought for a moment.
Then he snapped his fingers.
“Ah! We should call that old man.”
“Who might that be……?”
“Eh, don’t worry about it. That guy retired and has nothing to do. He just makes his subordinates do everything and doesn’t do anything himself…”
* * *
And so, the ‘old man’ who had nothing to do in retirement and who just delegated everything to his subordinates, ‘the old man.’
Seo Woon-pil, the head of Korea’s top literary magazine, visited the broadcasting station.
“Hello, I’m Seo Woon-pil. I run a small literary newspaper.”
Seo Woon-pil was merely the head of a literary magazine and held no official title or position in politics.
However, compared to his political influence, Park Chang-woon was actually just a retired has-been.
Seo Woon-pil’s authority was comparable to that of Gu Hak-jun.
While Gu Hak-jun’s political influence was like a subtle floral fragrance that earned people’s respect through virtue and gentleness, Seo Woon-pil’s was a bit stickier and darker.
So, really, they had no choice.
“Ah, hello, CEO……”
“Heh, it’s been a while, Chairman~nim.”
That day, the back of BMB’s CEO Kim Seung-hwan bent three times.
It was autumn.
*****
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