Chapter 875 Lonely
Lucas's eyes fluttered open, the silence of the room shattered only by the insistent chirp of a bird outside his window. He lay there for a moment, blinking blearily, before a jolt of unwelcome awareness shot through him. Amy. Had she replied?
He fumbled for his phone on the nightstand, the harsh white screen momentarily blinding in the dim room. Airplane mode mocked him from the corner of the display, a glaring reminder of his short-lived resolve.
Without dwelling on it, he deactivated it, a tense anticipation settling in his gut as the phone came back to life.
He went to his inbox and a flicker of disappointment washed over him when he saw there was no new message and the last message there was his response the previous night.
His thumb swiped open his inbox, and his heart sank like a stone in water as he saw the same messages from yesterday. No new email, just his carefully crafted response hanging there, unanswered.
A frown creased his brow. So, if he had not placed his phone on airplane mode and had decided to wait to get a response from her, she wouldn't have responded?
If he hadn't deactivated the airplane mode, if he'd stuck to his plan, she wouldn't have messaged at all? The thought sent a pang of something unexpected through him. Disappointment? Intrigue? Maybe it was a bit of both. He couldn't quite place it.
Perhaps his last message had been too curt? Too dismissive. He winced, rereading his carefully crafted response.
He tossed the phone back onto the bed, frustration boiling over.
Why did he care? Wasn't that the whole point? This was exactly what he had wanted, wasn't it?His plan had been to nip whatever was going on between them in the bud, so why did he care that she did not respond? he mused, surprised by his own disappointment.
It was better this way. No complications. He was glad she got his message. Now he didn't have to worry about Tyler or Lucy making useless assumptions anymore, he told himself firmly.
Just as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, ready to grab a shower and banish these useless thoughts, a sharp chime shattered the silence.
His heart lurched. A notification. He snatched the phone back, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips as he saw the gmail icon blinking. It was Amy.
[Good morning, Doc! You awake yet?] the message read, a playful wink emoji attached.
The irritation that had been simmering moments ago evaporated completely. Forgetting his plan to go shower, he clambered back onto the bed, a comfortable Sunday sprawl replacing his initial upright posture.
It was Sunday and he didn't have to go anywhere, Lucas assured himself as he texted back. [Yeah. How's your day going?]
Amy, applying mascara in her bathroom mirror, grinned when she picked up her phone and saw his prompt response.
[Not bad. I'm getting ready to step out. Did you dream of me?] she texted back with a wink emoji for good measure since she knew very well that her question would make Lucas uncomfortable.
For some reason she liked to tease him. Maybe it was because of how cute he had looked when he came all the way to Miley's funeral just to assure her that he wasn't interested in her.
There was just something about his stoicism that she found oddly endearing, and she couldn't resist poking at him a little.
On seeing her message Lucas groaned inwardly, Of course, she would say that. He sighed, sending a quick reply. [Nah. I didn't. Where are you going?]
The message sent before he fully registered the question. Shoot. Had he just shown interest in her personal business?
Amy's smiled as she read his message, [There is this really nice lounge Miley and I used to hangout. She loved the place a great deal. I want to go spend the evening there. Who knows? I might find a new friend there or meet someone. When next you come to Ludus, I will take you there.] Amy texted back.
Lucas frowned, a furrow appearing between his brows. Was she trying to tell him something? He typed out a reply, each keystroke deliberate.
[Are you okay? Will you be fine on your own? Are you sure being there won't get you upset?] Concern, genuine and unwanted, laced his words.
The concern in his message sent a warmth through Amy. She smiled as she texted back. [There is no way it could be worse than being indoor all day and seeing her stuff around my bedroom. And if you're very worried about me, you could check on me if you're not too busy, to see how it's going.] she suggested, hoping he wouldn't be too busy to keep her company.
Lucas narrowed his eyes, a suspicion nagging at him. Why did it feel like there was more to her suggestion than just checking in? It felt like she had wanted to ask him to check on her all along. He sent a reply, his tone carefully neutral.
[Well, I'm not worried. I have no reason to be. I'm sure you will be fine on your own.] Lucas texted back, wanting to see how she would respond, a strange protectiveness warring with his initial desire for distance.
Amy's smile faltered slightly as she read his message. Disappointment flickered across her features. She sighed, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.
[Sure. I will be alright. Thanks. Hopefully I will meet someone nice and interesting soon, and I wouldn't bother you anymore. I know I've been bothering you with my messages and I'm deeply sorry for that. I'm also grateful that you've been quite accommodating. It's just that I have no one else to text and some times it gets pretty lonely. Still, that is not an excuse to bother you. I will get out of your hair now. Have a lovely day.]
Lucas frowned as he read her message. The cursor on his phone screen blinked accusingly. Each sentence was a fresh barb.
"Bothering you," "get out of your hair," "lonely." A knot of guilt tightened in his stomach. Had he been too harsh? His carefully crafted plan to nip things in the bud suddenly felt cruel.
Lucas reread the message, the weight of her words settling in his gut. Loneliness. It was a raw vulnerability he hadn't expected, a glimpse behind the playful facade.
Maybe it wasn't about him being interested, not exactly. Maybe it was just about being a decent human being.
He pictured Amy, alone in her apartment, surrounded by memories of Miley. A pang of sympathy shot through him.
He had been too focused on maintaining distance and not wanting to have anything romantic to do with her, that he had forgotten that she could be reaching out merely because she was lonely and needed a friend.
Ignoring the dismissive end of her text, he tapped a reply, then deleted it with a frustrated swipe.
[What about Lucy? Isn't she your friend?] Lucas texted again.
Hearing her phone beep, Amy sighed as she picked it up and read his message.
What was the point in responding? It was clear to her that it seemed like she was forcing the friendship between them.
She wasn't mad at him. She couldn't even blame him for it. She was just tired. He had his own problems to deal with and she was bothering him with hers.
It was best she go out and mix up with other people. Find a way to deal with her grief and cope with without bothering other people.
Ignoring his message, she finished up with her dressing and stepped out of her apartment.
The guilt gnawed at him as he kept waiting for her response and when nothing came after ten minutes, he tossed the phone onto the bed, the screen landing face down with a dull thud.
Was he the jerk here? Why did she keep making him feel like a jerk even without saying anything?
Was she mad at him because he didn't offer to check on her? He mused. Why would she be mad? He mused as he reread their chats for the third time.
Did he give her the impression that she was bothering him? He mused as he contemplated giving Lucy a call so she would check on Amy.
He picked the phone back up, his thumb hovering over Lucy's contact. No, that wouldn't do. Apart from the fact that this was between him and Amy, the thought of Lucy's knowing smirk and pointed questions held him back. He needed to put into consideration what Lucy would say if he asked her to check on Amy.
Deciding to be a good friend to Amy, until she found someone more reliable close to her, he took a deep breath and started a new message.
[Guess you left already. Look, if you want to talk, I'm here. You don't have to feel like you're bothering me. I'm your friend after all. Seriously. And if you're up for it, we could text or talk over the phone when you get back. Whatever you prefer. Just stop asking if I dreamt of you. It makes me uncomfortable.]
Lucas read the message and decided that It wasn't perfect, but it was honest to a large extent. He hit send, a knot of anxiety tightening in his stomach.
Not wanting to stay idle while waiting for her response, Lucas decided to go shower and maybe step out of the house too to go find something fun to do.
It had been a while since he went out on his own for the sheer fun of it. The last time he was out had been with Amy and Miley, and since he got to Tyler's, he had been keeping himself busy with the program he was doing.
If Amy who had lost her best friend was already stepping out this way, then he could as well do the same and put Rachel completely behind him.
He showered and dressed, the minutes ticking by like hours. He checked his phone every few seconds, disappointment gnawing at him with every unanswered message.
Just as he was about to convince himself that she must have ignored him, a notification chimed.
He practically leaped to grab the phone, a surge of relief washing over him. It was Amy, her phone number followed by a single emoji: a thumbs up. No explanation, no additional text, just the phone number.
He stared at it for a moment, a hesitant smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Maybe, just maybe, there was a middle ground between complete disinterest and getting entangled with a grieving woman.
He copied her number and saved it in his phone before putting the phone in his pocket and heading out of the house.
He would give her a call when he gets to his location, and maybe they could both keep each other company.
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