The petite elf woman turned away from the crater holding Ruven. She faced the Madness Wizard for the first time, her bright emerald eyes seeming to see straight through Zarian’s soul.
He couldn’t sense if she was or wasn’t. It was a hunch.
Blocky clouds covered the starry sky. Snow flew in flurries on wintry winds. Bianca’s big, charged up javelin glowed across the demolished battlefield, casting a bright light on everyone while drawing long shadows.
Finally, the elf woman said, “My great grandson failed catastrophically.”
Zarian nodded. “Your great grandson, huh? So is it safe to assume you’re not Purehome but the Forever Green Empress?”
“No, I am not Purehome, who is my elder. But yes, I am the empress. Ruler of the Promised Continent and all the kingdoms there. I have many other names in my origins, but I don’t think they matter.”
Ruven spoke up hoarsely. “They do matter, great grandmother! You are Corma’s Chosen One!”
The empress ignored him. Her bright green eyes kept staring into Zarian’s soul (maybe). He almost wanted to feel uncomfortable, but free evil +3 kept him secured with his political charisma and edge.
Zarian took another puff on his cigar while Para refilled the skull with more beer. “Well, your great grandson entered my land. Assaulted me. Caused immense damage that threatened the people of my village. And is an asshole elf retard.”
“Amen,” Gilbert added.“He should’ve been more patient. He could’ve chosen a more diplomatic solution,” the empress replied calmly.
“There’s nothing diplomatic about trying to seal me away forever.”
“That was one of multiple options I’ve presented him with. He has the training to do better. But I suppose my progeny let his ego and goodness override his pragmatism. He’s never lost like this before other than to me, and his parents are soft on him.”
The little empress looked back down at her great grandson.
Ruven could barely move, but he shrank into the crater anyway, as if he wanted to disappear. The fear in his eyes was intense while under his great grandmother’s scrutiny.
“Hey, Naomi,” Gilbert said, leaning toward the Rumble Psion and the trusty steed under her.
“What?” she replied.
“Do elves have different meanings to how family works or something? That’s a kid saying she’s an empress and calling Ruven her great grandson up there. I can’t always predict the chief, but he’s playing along with it pretty hard.”
“Gilbert has to be acting obtuse on purpose. There’s no way he hasn’t caught on. He must’ve at least seen Lord of the Rings and know how elves age,” Hannah said.
“I haven’t,” Gilbert said proudly.
Hannah nearly broke down on her seat in the tower. She would’ve lost her cold composure if it wasn’t for her focus on the most important political meeting happening on the World of Castles and Caverns.
The empress turned her gaze from Ruven back to Zarian and said, “To be fair, he mistook me for being able to seal anything away forever. I spoke confidently about such just to save face in front of my controlling grandmother. I could only keep you sealed for at least two eras maximum. You should know why.”
Purehome is her grandmother, huh? Zarian kept note of that.
Aloud, he said, “Yeah, yeah. Seals never last. They’re degrading the moment you plant them. The degradation can be slow or fast, but it’s constant. The technical term is Sealing Entropy.”
“Indeed, Sealing Entropy is the bane of all good creatures who must put away unstoppable evil without the proper time or resources to kill them. If you’ve read enough on the subject, you would know who has broken the most seals in all of Infinita.”
“The Dragon,” Zarian answered in between cigar puffs and sips of beer.
“Excellent. You are well learned, as evil should be. Or should I say ‘free evil?’ Hm, I suppose we can get into the semantics another time.” The empress glanced down and wriggled her toes over the frost-covered stone. “Now we must do the hard part. We must talk, Zarian Darkrun, and see how we can find a solution going forward.”
She looked back up at him expectantly.
“Yeah, I guess that was bound to happen. But are you sure you want to talk with me, though?” Zarian chuckled. “I’m only a petty village lord. And you’re the empress of an entire continent!”
“I see you find humor in the juxtaposition of our positions on the surface level. Under normal circumstances, you would be too insignificant to garner my attention. Even your threats to burn my empire and have your way with me would’ve been nothing of note. I’ve heard worse from orc shamans before I had their people go extinct. However, these circumstances are far beyond normal, and I’m the one at your mercy unless I take drastic, shortsighted measures.”
Bianca sighed. “Coño. Why are there always genocides for the greater good?”
“They don’t leave things to chance in Infinita,” Hannah murmured.
Zarian semi-ignored his friends and watched the empress with a straight face. “Well, I still need to have my way with you. So how about this? You have to slap your great grandson. Really hard. Then we can talk.”
The empress glanced back at her fallen progeny with no love, concern, or pity on her face. “You’ve done considerably well against him. Better than anyone at your levels should.”
“We’re still warming up,” Zarian said.
“Is that so? Many in my position might find that troublesome. Not only are you a universal threat, your party is remarkably strong. Hence, you’ve defeated someone who’s a Level 112 Master Ranker, which is unprecedented.”
“So, you’re going to slap him?”
“He is defeated. Why must I?”
“Because he nearly cost us the entire universe,” Zarian said. “So if you want to talk, I need you to show you got some skin in the game.”
“I could attempt to seal you wholly for a long time,” she replied. “I understand your sealing technique. You’re all at my mercy.”
“But you know that’s shortsighted.” He pointed his chub of a cigar at her. “You could make me worse than The Dragon once I bust free. Because I will break free. In fact, I’ll break free sooner rather than later. I’m already crazy, but who knows how much worse I can get after some solitary confinement.”
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“Hey, chief, tell her it’s for the greater good,” Gilbert advised.
“Yeah, what Gilbert said,” Naomi added.
“Exactly!” Zarian cheered as Para giggled from behind him. “It’s for the greater good. You can’t deny the greater good, empress! So slap the kid for the greater good!”
“Great Grandmother, no,” Ruven begged, sounding like he was about to break down into tears.
The empress frowned. “The greater good? That is considerable for me when I’m good +4.”
Nice, Bianca remains the highest, Zarian thought with a smile. Then he said aloud, “Good +4 is more than enough for this.”
The petite elf woman pouted a little. “I don’t like striking my own progeny down outside of training. But I suppose this is the price I must pay for not being more vigilant with him in a delicate situation like this.”
The empress sighed. “Fair enough. I will pay this price of yours.”
“Everyone, back off!” Zarian warned.
Bianca dismissed her supercharged javelin and flew away in a frenzy of lights. Naomi, Slip, and Gilbert skedaddled lickety split.
“Great Grandmother, no! Please forgive me!” Ruven begged, unable to move or escape. “Please, spare me, Great Grandmother! Please!”
“For the greater good,” the empress said, pointing her finger at her great grandson.
An intensely bright flash turned the night into day, making Zarian wince and stumble back. He heard roaring magic. He felt a huge earthquake shake the battlefield, forcing him to hunker down with Para’s help. His Basic Aura Manipulation sensed so much magic generating and moving Zarian could hardly believe it was happening.
The empress could match his One Percent Power or go beyond it. She could destroy kingdoms and lay waste to large parts of a continent. Maybe she could destroy more than that. All with a point of her little finger.
Once the bright light dimmed away, Zarian blinked rapidly to rid himself of the temporary blindness. Then he saw there was an enormous hole where the empress had struck. The sides were red hot with melted slag dripping toward the bottom. The depth went down very far.
Ruven was gone.
“There. I slapped him,” the empress said.
Zarian stared for a long while with the cigar in the corner of his mouth. The others slowly returned after running away to safety. They gathered near the boulder Zarian and the empress stood on.
“I think you killed your great grandson,” Zarian said.
The empress slowly shook her head. “He has an item that rescued him before he died completely. He’s back home now. The healers will save him. He’ll be quite traumatized for the next hundred years. But I have other great grandsons and great granddaughters who can pick up the slack. Well, the ones I can count on.”
Zarian nodded. The empress was a serious little woman. He didn’t know what else to say. The others voiced their opinion.
“You know what? This stuff is getting a little too far-fetched for me. Is this what you call anime nonsense?” Gilbert asked.
“You know about anime but you don’t know about Lord of the Rings?” Hannah asked.
“I know neither. So this is all news to me,” Gilbert said.
“Scary,” Bianca said, staring at the hole.
“Amazing,” Naomi said, trembling.
“Whelp, I’m partially satisfied. But not all the way. I’m still going to work you hard, empress. I need my reparations, and I’m going to get them for sure,” Zarian said. “Ready?”
The empress bobbed her head up and down. “Bring me to a suitable meeting area. In return, I shall brew you my family’s secret tea as we discuss matters.”
“Oh, I like tea,” Bianca piped up, showing some rare cheeriness. “Also, I just want to say this now before things get serious again. You are not only scary but you are very cute, señorita.”
“Is she cuter than Foodie?” Naomi asked while still riding on Slip the Sleipnir. Her head was bobbing up and down. She was barely staying awake.
“Do not put me in such a position, Naomi. You are being cruel,” Bianca replied.
“I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to go on about how this is a bad idea and the mini empress can turn around and betray us and all that. But there’s more beer at the meeting place. So yeah, let’s go there before things go tits up as usual,” Gilbert said.
“I’ll ensure the room is prepared,” Hannah said. Only the Floridians could hear her through the spider network. Or that was what they thought until they realized that wasn’t true.
“What a unique style of magic for communication,” the empress said. “Also, I’m highly impressed with your runic crafting, young human. I would like to have some time with you later, after I’ve spent some time with the wizard, of course.”
“She could hear me this whole time?” Hannah asked from miles away.
“I will question you on the meaning of ‘Lord of the Rings’ and what that has to do with elves,” the empress said. “I am aware of ‘anime’ already and I would prefer we keep tentacles out of our first meeting.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Hannah said shakily.
“Tentacles? You hear that, Para, no tentacles,” Gilbert said.
“Noted,” Para said.
Zarian didn’t comment on the empress’s network infiltration or her troubled knowledge about ‘anime.’
He figured this entire situation was a consequence of dealing with an overpowered elf. She hadn’t lied when she said she had them at her mercy.
However, Zarian figured he had no reason to fuss. He held the biggest cosmic stick at the universal level. And Sealing Entropy was a real issue that the empress felt concerned about.
It is what it is.
He wondered how many more surprises might crop up. Of course, it didn’t take long for even the Infinita Star System to throw in another curve ball.
“Before we go, you must decide on whether the tailor should have an invitation on this unusual night,” the empress said.
“The tailor?” Naomi shot ramrod straight, nearly bucking herself off Slip’s back. She was fully awake again. “No, it can’t be that tailor.”
“Damn it, Ruvaria, you never know when to let a delightful surprise just play out.” A well-dressed drider appeared from nowhere on the ground near Zarian’s party, nearly spooking the Sleipnir. “I was really hoping I could reintroduce myself and hog all their attention. But now I have to compete with Empress Ruvaria the Sorceress Queen! That’s not fair!”
“I don’t care, Baron Ekri the Flesh Ripper,” the empress responded.
“Oof, not that name. It’s too boorish and unfit for me these days. Tailor works best.” Ekri turned his spider-like face toward Naomi, all six arms folded behind him. “My, my, my. Look at you. You’ve grown far faster and far greater than I could’ve ever imagined. The threads of our fate truly have remained strong and blessed, Naomi Washington. Praise Hisscreep, because I’m truly glad to see you again.”
Naomi didn’t respond.
It was at that moment, something inside of Zarian found a reason to dislike Ekri. Even if only a little. That little dislike grew as Ekri looked up and met Zarian’s darkened gaze.
“You better hold on to this one, milord. She’s the type that can really leave an impression, and I can’t help but want to have that to myself. Not for her flesh. No, no. She’s a walker. A wearer. She’ll make my newest and latest inspirations really stand out like never before. You understand?”
“She’s mine.” Zarian flicked away the remains of his cigar. He chucked the beer skull into the pocket dimension. “That’s about it. She’s mine.”
Ekri the Tailor chuckled. “Oh, the husband of Evil Goddess Shadowfell is laying claim to more than one? Harems can be fashionable if you do them right. But you’re of this new and fancy thing that’s getting all the younglings excited. What is it again? Freedom! How can she be yours if she’s free?”
Zarian shrugged. “The marriage is one-sided, and I don’t want a harem. I’m just saying Naomi’s mine. She can dispute that if she wants.”
Naomi held her silence and disputed nothing. The others stayed out of it.
Ekri the Tailor laughed some more. “Well, well, I won’t disabuse an apocalyptic man for standing up for what he believes, despite how dangerous that belief could be. Just know you must be able to defend what’s yours without losing to others. Or to yourself, Zarian Darkrun.”
“Empress, I’ve decided. He can wait outside,” Zarian said.
Ruvaria bobbed her head up and down.
“Oh, come now! Are you really going to put out a baron from Carrowmore? There are so many wonderful things I can tell you! Naomi, dear, can’t you make him act more reasonably?” Ekri turned to her.
Naomi had a special connection with Ekri. She’d often said she wanted to catch him and wreck him. Tonight wasn’t the night for that. Not while Zarian was upset.
Naomi looked away from Ekri. She kept her mouth shut.
“We’ll talk later, tailor,” Zarian grunted. Before Ekri could say anything more, Zarian turned to Ruvaria. “Do you have a reliable teleportation spell? If not, you’re going to have to see me dance a little to sweep us through the void.”
“Most teleportation spells rely on the void. Its emptiness makes it easier to teleport from one place to another without complications,” the empress said.
Zarian was going to reply with interest on the subject. He was a wizard, after all. But the words stopped in his throat when his surroundings faded from the battlefield to a lively street in Ride-or-Die Village.
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