"Because I don't know when I will fall out of favor. I don't know when I will leave this Palace of Serene Harmony. Huang Shu, even when that day came when you finally get a good Empress to rule the nation. You can draft me to the border. I will stay true to my promise."
"Huang Shu, I'd rather stay in the garrison with the soldiers rather than getting abandoned in a cold palace."
'Cold Palace…' Huang Shu's feet went cold. He was so paranoid that Yunyu might've realized what happened and somehow recovered his memory back.
"W—Why would you say that? You know that I love you the most, right? S—Something like a Cold Palace is just out of the question," Huang Shu tried to convince Yunyu as much as he tried to convince himself.
Yunyu had a bitter smile on his face, and he replied, "Call me delusional, but I've had this strong feeling, almost like a past life. Where you abandoned me because you're too busy with yourself and your wives. You threw me away to the Cold Palace, abandoned me, and starved me to death."
"Huang Shu… if that is the end of our love life, then I'd never marry you. So, in the end, if you don't love me anymore, just put me in the garrison or at the border. Where I will raise your flag, speaking the glory of you as Emperor Xianliang."
"I will defeat all your enemies, conquer the lands for you. And when I die, I will die fighting for my nation's glory, not as a disgraced Empress. I will do anything for you. Just don't put me in the Cold Palace."
"This feeling is so strong, Huang Shu. It's too strong that I could still feel the coldness of winter and the damp bed where I died out of starvation and malnourishment…."
Yunyu's tears dropped on the book. He bit his lips, so he wouldn't sob like a little kid.
"Huang Shu, is this really just a strong feeling of mine, or you really did abandon me, threw me away because I was infertile, and you have settled your life with tons of women and ger men…"
Huang Shu panicked. His heart was beating fast, and he hugged Yunyu as tight as he could, "W—Wife, I would never do that! That's just your dream, your delusion! You know how much I love you, right?"
"Husband, no matter what you do to me, I will accept it. Let me go to the border—"
"I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU!" Huang Shu snatched the Art of War from Yunyu and threw it away. He hugged Bai Yunyu so tight until Yunyu frowned a bit.
Huang Shu's mind was in chaos right now. He just realized that Yunyu might remember everything sooner or later. And he was afraid to even imagine if that happened.
"D—Ditch all that bad ideas in your head, okay? Bai Yunyu, my beloved wife, trust me. I will never leave you. I will never let you get hurt. I will… I will never…"
Huang Shu bit his lips. Because he knew this was all lies. All that happened in the past was proof of how detestable he was. He left Yunyu, he hurt Yunyu, and he…
"I will never… abandon you, Yunyu…"
And he abandoned Yunyu.
The seed of doubt in Yunyu's heart was still very much alive and would probably flourish over time. But Huang Shu's body was shaking right now as if he was terrified that Yunyu would leave him.
"Yunyu… Yunyu… please don't say something like that anymore," Huang Shu begged, thinking about how he spiraled down to insanity after Yunyu's death.
Huang Shu could feel the warmth of Yunyu's body after he suffered the grueling pain of losing his loved one. He couldn't give this up. He was too afraid that Yunyu's body would turn cold once more.
"I… I will never marry anyone else other than you. I'd rather die alone. I would never…"
Yunyu sighed. He found this both lovable and worrying. The more he knew about Huang Shu, the more he realized how much Huang Shu loved him. His desperation, his anxiety, everything about Huang Shu's love was so sincere.
'But why do I keep getting that feeling of him abandoning me?'
"Huang Shu, don't think much about me. Just do your duty as the Emperor, for your country, for your people first."
**
After that Imperial banquet ended, Empress Dowager was surprised when Huang Shu suddenly invited Lady Xi Yue to the Palace the next week. She thought that her son had already decided to marry Lady Xi Yue. Which was a good choice that she would approve to be the next Empress.
But when Empress Dowager Aixi came, she saw that deformed thing Bai Yunyu sitting side by side with Huang Shu. They looked harmonious, with Huang Shu gently holding Bai Yunyu's hand and caressed it gently.
'Hmph, that deformed thing still dared to show his face after last time. Fine, I've told Xi Yue that she should dress her best to get Huang Shu's attention again."
Emperor Xianliang and Bai Yunyu greeted Empress Dowager Aixi, who sat on her designated seat. They were waiting for Lady Xi Yue because apparently, this was an important meeting with her.
The servants and guards were in silence. Even Empress Dowager wasn't in the mood to talk once she saw Bai Yunyu. Though, Huang Shu and Yunyu joked around in their own pink bubble.
It took a while until the guard escorted a beautiful young lady with a peach dress and beautiful butterfly hairpin.
She had milky white skin, and her appearance charmed everyone around them.
Empress Dowager Aixi smirked when she saw that Huang Shu was staring intently at Xi Yue, 'Of course, Xi Yue's beauty is renowned, unlike you, deformed thing. You think that Huang Shu will settle with you? I will make sure that you will leave this Palace!'
Lady Xi Yue bowed her head and paid respect to the Emperor, "This lady, Xi Yue, from Xi family, has answered your summon, Your Majesty. May you reign over the rivers and lands."
Xi Yue intentionally ignored Bai Yunyu and then paid respect to Empress Dowager, "Xi Yue prays for Your Majesty Empress Dowager's health and prosperity."
"Good daughter, no need for the formality. We're all family here," Empress Dowager said, completely ignoring Yunyu. Then she asked Huang Shu, "My son, I know you will make the right choice. Don't you see that Xi Yue has all qualities a good lady should have?"
"Yes, I believe that she can be a good wife and mistress of the house," Emperor Xianliang said.
Empress Dowager was so proud of her son's choice. He glanced at Yunyu with her chin raised.
But strangely, Yunyu didn't even budge, still with a smile on his face. He nodded as if he affirmed Huang Shu's words just now.
Lady Xi Yue blushed after she got complimented by Huang Shu. She asked, "May this lady ask why Your Majesty is inviting me to the Imperial Palace?"
"Ah yes, I've talked about this with my wife, Bai Yunyu. Both of us came with a tacit understanding. I believe Lady Xi Yue is a beautiful lady, well-mannered, and educated. From a good family as well. You will make a fine wife and mistress of the house."
"Thus, Zhen, Emperor Xianliang, will personally bestow the marriage you've truly wanted, Lady Xi Yue."
--
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