The Melancholy of the True Saint
“Oh… I might have talked too much.”
Rafina smiled bitterly after Sapphias left. She drank the tea left in her cup. Its bitterness matching her mood. “Being refused by Mia must have hit me harder than I thought.”
Rafina Orca Belluga.
The Saint of Belluga. The girl worshiped by the people yet does not have any friends. She never thought it was unfortunate. Her father poured a lot love to her, and her people loved and adored her. It can be said that she is privileged. Everyone treats her in a special way.
Special… that’s the best was to describe Rafina. And she does not deny that she is a special being. There’s only one saint in Belluga, and that was her. She is definitely special and deserves to be treated in a special way.
But at the same time, Rafina couldn’t help by think that it also applies to other people as well. Everyone was made by God in a special way. Each person has their own individuality. Each none is favored by God. This makes them special, and so they should be treated the same way that she is treated. This is what the Holy Book of Belluga teaches. Therefore, Rafina was dissatisfied that she’s the only that is treated specially. She wished that other people would approach her the same way that they approach others. It would be nice to have a normal friendship.
One day, a daughter of a known noble appeared in front of her.
“Miss Rafina, would you like to be friends with me?”
Rafina was so pleased with her words. She was finally able to meet someone who wouldn’t treat her in any special way!
But one day, she saw her new friend hitting her servant with a stick.
“Why did you do that?” Rafina asked, utterly confused. Her friend was supposed to be someone who is not influenced by the notion of statis. That was the main reason why they became friends. But how could she do such a horrible thing?
After reflecting, Rafina came to an answer. The reason why her friend did not treat Rafina specially was because she saw Rafina as her equal. Not an equal to Rafina the person, but an equal to Rafina the saint. The girl believed that she was as special, and as favored by God to be superior. It wasn’t impartiality. It was just conceit.
What a tyrannical belief…
Rafina considers the inhabitants of this land, a community of believers who believe in and respect God, and who have been favored by God, to be like a family. Nobles, commoners, slaved, etc. are all a single family, just with different roles.
Those born as the eldest son are entitled and obliged to succeed the family. Similarly, the second son has the roles, rights, and obligations of the second son, and so on…
The roles are different and so they are not comparable. It cannot be said that there is a better or inferior role. They’re just different.
Therefore, Rafina despises those who oppress the commoners and kick slaves relying on their status, just because they are nobles. Rafina cannot forgive those who were given the privileges and refuses to fulfil their obligations brought with that role.
And a Rafina that couldn’t forgive, is a Rafina who couldn’t make friends.
The nobles who approached her were the ones that were attracted to Rafina as a saint. She despised them for their despicable intentions. They weren’t worthy of their friendship. On the other hand, commoners held her in high esteem but made no attempt to befriend her. Eventually, she accepted that this was an inevitable burden with her position. As the Saint of Belluga, she was fated to be friendless, until…
Mia Luna Tearmoon appeared.
When Rafina first heard of what she had accomplished in Tearmoon, she was astonished. Though born as the daughter of the emperor, she did not take her position for granted. She worked hard to fulfil her role. She acted benevolently towards the common people and was considerate to the poor.
When Rafina heard that people were calling her a Saint, she couldn’t wait to meet the person who shared the same title as her.
A princess who works appropriately as the daughter of the emperor who is the ruler. She is a charitable person who deserves a given position, can benefit the people and even be considerate of the poor.
“Maybe… just maybe, she would be my friend.”
Rafina was looking forward to Mia coming into the academy. Then, in the communal bath, Rafina met Mia for the first time. There she showed consideration to her maid, who was a commoner. In fact, she went as far as declaring her to be her right hand and her confidant! Mia’s ability to see past the superficial gilding of rank and pedigree, and being able to see the depths of a person’s character left a strong impression on Rafina.
Rafina thought that Mia was the person she was looking for all this time… But she was wrong.
“You’re even more than that, aren’t you, Mia?”
In the incident at the ball, Rafina witnessed Mia’s forbearance even to those who made mistakes. In dealing with those who committed wrong, whenever possible, Mia sought to grant them a chance to make amends, and she made every attempt to realize that opportunity for them. Her approach was unknown to Rafina, but…
“People make mistakes. Sometimes they make mistakes without even knowing. Therefore, opportunities for redemption should be given in abundance… Mia is a much kinder person than me.”
Rafina was a little surprised to find herself feeling comforted with it.
Inconsistency in punishment is a breeding ground for corruption. A light penalty for the offender robbed the victim of emotional solace. That was why, all her life, she had viewed with contempt people like Mia who forgave the guilty. Punishment was punishment. Those who held power were obligated to punish the wrongdoing and right injustice.
However instead of applying principle, Mia applied her wisdom. She pre-emptively exerts her influence before serious damage, or evil is done. She then is able to create a situation whereby the party at fault could be afforded chance to make amends. It was an approach to kindness that had never even crossed Rafina’s mind, instilling in her a sentiment that was almost admiration. Still, with all this…
“Unfortunately, Mia, you can’t beat me.”
Rafina murmured. She can already foresee the future. Mia will definitely lose the election. If Mia had only accepted Sapphias scheme, they maybe she stood a chance. But, she turned down that proposal.
“Fair and square… with that kind conviction of hers… Mia’s virtue has turned into chains that binds her. So she can never beat me.”
Rafina believes in Mia’s passion for justice. It’s ironic that because of that, Rafina is assured of her victory. As long as Mia remains righteous, she will never win.
“Ah, I was looking forward to you supporting me…”
Rafina murmured as if to cut off her thoughts. She was a little lonely, after all, she’s just a girl.
“I thought you would understand since we were friends…”
Rafina lied her face on the desk, disheartened.
Of course Rafina knows why Mia is running against her. A rival candidate was necessary to ensure the fairness and function of the election. It will also demonstrate the legitimacy of Rafina’s candidacy. Moreover, the role of her rival could only be played by someone who didn’t place her on a pedestal
“Ah! This is so frustrating…”
Even though she knew all of it, Rafina couldn’t control her emotions. She let out a lonely sigh.
“I’m doing my best, you know.”
Rafina couldn’t her fatigue. Between taking measures against the Chaos Serpents, performing her duties as the Saint of Belluga, along with running the student council president, Rafina was tired.
“I’m really doing my best …”
Muttering, Rafina gently closed her eyes and surrendered to sleep.
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