Resetting Lady

With a pout still on her lips, Carynne held Dullan’s hand. This was a normal start. Dullan had two left feet, but since Carynne didn’t want to repeat falling over because of him, she gripped Dullan’s hand and skillfully took the lead. It might not be accurate, but perhaps this was the nineteenth time she had danced with Dullan. Right then, she held his waist and did a turn with him.

Who would kill her this time?

Her death had somehow become the most interesting and exciting event that she looked forward to. Carynne even directed her own death to some extent. Repeated deaths and mixed memories would confuse anyone—from minor inconveniences such as trying to remember if she had this conversation before, or something major such as being killed and might lead to resentment.

No matter how true it was that she would still survive in the end and go back in time, she still died before starting over. Even so, she was sick and tired of this repeated humdrum life with the same boring conversations. Carynne wanted to see new reactions as much as possible, and this secluded region where there was no war, nothing ever happened.

Anything’s good, so just do something to make me laugh.

What should she do this time?

It was her 17th birthday, and at the same time, it was her 117th.

She would need to wait a month before she could meet Raymond. This period where nothing important happened was only described in a few short paragraphs, and she was already so tired of it. All that mattered in these scenes was to highlight how unattractive and rude Dullan was, and at the same time, how much he was unworthy of marrying the beautiful, witty and precious Carynne.

The song was over.

“I w-won’t ask you to l-love me, Carynne Hare. We’re… relatives… But if we don’t get m-married, the land would be r-revoked by the state… So to prevent that… marriage w-within the family is necessary…”

“You don’t have to explain it to me so diligently. It’s something both you and I know.”

“…Then at least s-smile. Everyone in this man…sion is l-laughing at me.”

His grip tightened over Carynne’s wrist. You’re clutching it too much, moron. She felt that she was going to get a bruise. Karen hated pain. She had gone through a lot of things, but she hated pain so much—to the point that she even wanted to postpone her death. Tempering the incoming irritation she could already feel, Carynne placed her other hand over Dullan’s chest.

“It’s not like that, Dullan.”

“I can’t s-stand being treated like a f-fool.”

This grumbling man was laughable. Even the word ‘cute’ didn’t suit him. His pride soared high, yet his self-confidence was rock bottom. Carynne had seen this a lot, the narrow-mindedness of this young man who wouldn’t change even if he married Carynne. This was his nature.

It might be because he wasn’t Carynne’s male lead in the novel she read, but perhaps he would become more mature decades later after becoming a father and raising a child.

However, Carynne knew very well that the young man in front of her suffered from a severe inferiority complex, and it was a waste of time to hope that he would change. He would never grow out of it. As far as Carynne had witnessed, he didn’t have the capacity to change.

Carynne recalled a time when she thought that her hasty marriage with her original fiancé, Dullan Roid, was the key to breaking the time loop. She was young back then. Wait, no? Maybe not. She didn’t even know how long it had been.

Having lived as a teenager for more than a hundred years, her mind was like a jumbled bookshelf with all its books haphazardly shoved in.

Even if Carynne whispered sweet nothings into his ear, he would doubt her. It was quite refreshing at first, when she targeted Dullan instead of Raymond, who was the stutterer’s complete opposite. Raymond was someone who would approach Carynne first and would swear his unconditional dedication and love for her, even if it wasn’t reciprocated.

How should she go about it then? Carynne contemplated on how she should live this life. There was this one book that she hadn’t finished reading yet, but she read it back in Raymond’s mansion. At this point, it hadn't even been published yet. She should finish reading that book. However, it was still a long way off until her first meeting with Raymond.

The highlight of this part of the novel was how she would break it off with Dullan. Up her arsenal, Carynne knew more than 30 ways to humiliate him. If she let this pass and wouldn’t do anything, she would get married to him. But that wouldn’t be fun since she already did that before.

What hadn’t she done so far?

Since it wasn’t time for the inciting incident yet, Carynne spent most of this time in a relaxed manner. It’s still cold at this time of the year, so it would be difficult to go to the garden. It wasn’t time for exciting, fun people to come, and there was only her maid, the other servants and her ugly fiancé around her at this moment.

In the beginning, she always felt depressed. But after going through this a hundred years after she turned 17 years old, perhaps it was time for a celebration. A commemoration of sorts. She wanted to do something different.

“Come to my room tonight.”

Now that she thought about it, she had yet to play with Dullan today. Nothing significant would happen any time soon anyway.

After becoming tired and prickly because of the long trip, this was a disappointing time for Dullan. And for Dullan, who was even uglier now compared to when he was younger, this was truly a lamentable time. In this iteration, perhaps she should tie him up and hit him with a whip.

However, after hearing Carynne’s words, Dullan frowned. His anger was incited, and he tried to swear at her and call her an obscene woman. But rather than that, what he said to Carynne, whose chest was pounding, was quite unexpected.

“…Will you lock the door and go on all fours like a dog?”

“Oh my?”

“Begging, you did that during your t-tenth birthday.”

There was such a backstory? She felt better now because of the refreshing new response. She didn’t know that Carynne had such a past. There were cases when a couple wouldn’t even talk once they’d gotten married, but he was being like this. Very good. This gave her a little pleasure. Carynne laughed sincerely this time because she was truly delighted.

“Then let’s go after this dance.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Let’s have our wedding a little early.”

“…I don’t f…ollow.”

She pinched his chest over his clothes, and what followed was a weak groan.

Even if there wasn’t love between them, lust could exist. She knew him well.

“Do you hate a wife who’s like this?”

Of course not.

Chuckling, she rearranged the skirt of her dress to cover his lower body. It’s only right for a lady to do so.

* * *

Why was it that sex and death seemed to be irrevocably connected? After shuddering in fear at first, she gradually got used to sleeping with someone. The feeling of that inside her was quite nice, and the illusion that warmth enveloped her when a body would embrace her was also quite nice. During even the most intense moment of her life, even for just a moment, it could comfort her and give her the sense that there was nothing depressing about it at all.

After experiencing death more than once before, she found the experience to be kind of the same. She would be pushed to the highest point, as though she had ascended to the heavens, yet at the same time, it felt like she was stuck on the ground.

Of course, she had slept with men who couldn’t deliver even a fraction of this feeling and did only meaningless movements, as if rowing a boat in the air. Dullan wasn’t any better.

Unlike Carynne, who was bright and beautiful, he was skinny and pale, and he had a gloomy personality. At the same time, he had a knack for getting offended by the most trivial things that Carynne would say.

He had a nasty habit of looking down on people, but at the same time, he was the object of their ridicule. He couldn’t manage the territory well, so he mostly relied on Carynne’s father. With his posture eternally poor, his shoulders were hunched and his back was bent forward.

As she went back in time again and again over a fixed period of time, perhaps she thought that this was part of his charm. It was only after many years that she found him to be cute. By that time though, almost everyone had become similar in her eyes.

After becoming mentally older than Dullan, his gloominess and his prickliness caught her eye, and she wondered just what kind of the environment he grew up in for him to turn out like this. Now, he’d become bearable enough that she saw him as cute in his own way.

“…Does it h-hurt?”

He didn’t seem to be worried about her even though he asked this. Rather, he would enjoy it more if she was in pain. Dullan’s movements became noticeably intense the moment he saw Carynne’s blood, and at this, she resisted the urge to snort.

It’s ridiculous. Unpopular men were sad about not being popular with women, but they didn’t want to admit it. The more such a man felt this way, the more obsessed he would be about a woman’s virginity. This kind of man wouldn’t want his incompetence to be revealed.

Carynne wondered if Dullan was a virgin. Although he just returned from studying at a monastery, she knew well enough that it was still a place where a person could pop the cherry. Moreover, it wasn’t like Dullan was a dutiful priest. Unlike Raymond.

Would Dullan compare her to someone else? Carynne recalled her first time. It was such a long time ago. Was it Raymond? But this train of thought was cut off because of a noise from outside. Servants could be heard passing by beyond the door. They must be looking for her. The banquet wasn’t over yet after all.

Carynne wondered what would happen if she was caught in the act. Although they were already engaged, most people were still dubious about Dullan. Should she make it so that she’s seen in this bedroom with him?

She wanted to see an attendant admire Carynne like this, then collapse into shock. At this point, she looked up at the person over her. She also wanted to see Dullan flustered.

Carynne hated his arbitrary caresses and ineffective teasing, but she liked it when he embraced her so tightly as though he didn’t want to let go of her—when he would groan and show a desperate look.

Because of this, their movements were restricted, the sensation wasn’t much, and the friction down below was nothing short of a dragonfly’s fluttering wings. Even if the purpose of sleeping with him was to be embraced, Carynne was left speechless.

She considered it for a while, if this was enough to make her angry. But it wasn’t, so she didn’t act on it. This was stimulating in its own way. It’s also something that didn’t happen in a previous loop.

From the very first day of this loop, she rolled around the sheets with Dullan. She went to bed with him right away before the wedding. A while ago, he stuttered tremendously and beseeched God. Considering how he was right now, it was clear that he’s perverted.

Perhaps later, it would be nice to do some wax play. Dullan didn’t know if Carynne was just shocked or something because she was so quiet, but he fumbled and tried to make excuses for himself.

“Y-You’re the one who s-seduced me.”

Was he trying to say that she took advantage of him? All she was thinking right now was how she disliked that her underwear got dirty. The banquet wasn’t over yet. Should she wash up again?

Her body, which was briefly heated up because of lust, quickly cooled down when her desire was extinguished. As Carynne stared at the anxious Dullan, she frowned when she caught his stench.

He didn’t even wash his hair after getting drenched by the rain. Perhaps he had lost his strength, but he was easily pushed away by Carynne when he had pulled out of her.

“Wash up. You smell horrible.”

“…Huh? H-Horrible?”

“……”

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