Resetting Lady

“…M-Milady?”

“……”

“A-Are you alright?”

Do I look like I am?”

Even just lying down while enduring the pain was difficult. The moment she returned to her room, with Donna’s help, Carynne lay down on her bed and pressed down on the urge to let out all the tears and curse words. She wouldn’t be able to sleep on her back. She’d have to lie down face first like this the whole time.

Donna was trembling as she removed Carynne’s clothes over her back. The blood-soaked fabric had stuck to her torn skin, and just the sensation of removing the clothes was horrifying. However, if the dress was left as it was, then scabs would be formed over the cloth, and it would be impossible to remove later.

Carynne bit down on a pillowcase to suppress her pained groans. Donna continued to sob even though she wasn’t the one who got whipped. However, Carynne was bothered even by Donna’s sympathetic tears.

“Oh God.. This, just…”

“…How is it?”

Did you not hear me? I just asked you how it is.

Carynne wanted to snap at her, but in this reality, she had to endure even her own anger. She had to be kind. Be a kind female lead. Be a kind master. Be kind…

Kind?

‘Why should I?’

Why was she still shackled by the novel’s characterization of her when she had already killed people? Carynne wanted to act wickedly. But at the same time, she knew that she had to restrain herself here. Even if she kicked up a fuss now, there’s nothing for her to gain.

Her situation right now was the product of an action she herself chose, and it would only be unseemly for her to whine about it. She could only blame herself. She was annoyed by this, and that annoyance made her even more annoyed.

Anger and annoyance were two different things. One of them was an irrepressible emotion that would eat away at a person.

“Oh my god, the blood…”

“Huuk…”

At around the time of dawn, when the sun had already risen, light of a blue hue enveloped the room. It was a gloomy daybreak.

If people start dying in the midst of a riot.

Perhaps, as the world becomes engulfed with chaos, that’s when she can be at peace.

“…Ah!”

It hurts, it hurts, I want to die, stop, fuck!

As disinfectant was applied to her skin, her mind went blank. Carynne clenched her teeth. Her fatigued melancholy was flung away as pain made its presence known. When Donna applied the disinfectant, it was almost a convulsion when her body flinched.

“A-Are you alright, Milady?”

“……”

‘Do I look like I’m okay?’

Even if she won during that card game, she would have still been whipped. Back then, Carynne used to play cards on Isella’s behalf. But she was hit only twice during that time. Verdic had never hit her this hard.

Perhaps he’d become twisted after his daughter got bedridden. The wounds she sustained from the whip were worse than ever. And apparently, it’s not just that.

“What is it?”

Donna asked nervously when one of Verdic’s maids showed up. The maid conveyed her master’s message with an expressionless face.

“I’ve come to deliver a message. After you change your clothes, you must go to Lady Isella’s room.”

At those words, Donna’s expression crumpled.

“Just look at Milady right now. Are you seriously telling her to work?”

How could you speak like that towards your superior. But those words wouldn’t really match the situation.

Carynne buried her face into a pillow. And inevitably let out a groan. She really, truly hated this time of the year.

She was expecting that she’d be able to live more comfortably since she took up the position of Isella, but then all she had been saddled with was more work. She let out a groan, then she sighed deeply.

Even when Carynne was lying on her stomach like this, she listened to the maid’s words. What she was saying now were just the usual words. Nothing had changed.

“It is the Master’s order.”

“I’ll do it instead of Milady.”

If there’s a difference this time, then that was Donna. Should Carynne feel touched? Among the maids she’s had all this time, Donna was by far the most good-natured one. She was gentle and kind-hearted, and because she was so normal, perhaps that made her more peculiar. Maybe it’s because she never had Donna so close to her before in her life.

If Carynne looked at the girl more closely, there was a hint of darkness in her eyes, and there was a rotten surface lying deep below. Still, the girl had yet to reveal that side of her. Just to match her outward nature, Donna still felt story for Carynne.

“……”

However, as expected, Carynne didn’t feel touched. But she was fascinated. Before Donna, Sera also felt sorry for Carynne, though she wasn’t as vocal about it. In the end though, they were both just powerless maids. Donna’s sympathy would not be of any help to Carynne.

The other maid answered mechanically.

“It is Lady Carynne’s job.”

“No, but, just… Just look at her state…”

Donna pointed towards Carynne. Her back looked quite literally like a rag. Verdic gave her ten lashings.

“Lady Carynne should be in Lady Isella’s room within ten minutes.”

“How could she work when her back looks like a rag? Can’t you see how she shouldn’t nurse someone else when she herself needs to be taken care of?”

The pale skin of her back was marred with angry red lines. She knew that the scars she’d get from these wouldn’t disappear until she died and would come back to life. Before getting whipped, she had wanted to try on a backless dress, but that was impossible now, at least until she’d come back to life.

“I’ve already said it. It is the Master’s order.”

“Please don’t be like this… Turn a blind eye just this once, please. I’ll definitely pay you back later.”

If only that was possible. However, Carynne knew that there was only one choice here.

“…Donna. It’s my job, I have to do it.”

Carynne’s voice cracked. Even if she didn’t want it to.

“I’m fine.”

* * *

“Honestly, how could I possibly be fine?”

Carynne was now inside the room of the sleeping Isella. She arrived a little earlier than usual, that’s why the room was still dark.

Has Raymond found the corpse by now? Carynne was still curious about that. Would he bring her a present? If he would, then that at least would comfort her in this situation.

“To be honest, you’re in a much better state than me. All you have to do is close your eyes and sleep. Nothing to hurt you, nothing to torment you.”

“……”

“After some time, everything will start once again, and you wouldn’t know it.”

Carynne could feel blood still trickling down her back. She was tearing up just from the pain of it. Donna had disinfected her open wounds clumsily and bandaged it as though she wanted to make Carynne look like a mummy. However, the pain did not go away.

“Isella. You know, I hate your father.”

Even more so than I hate you.

It’s impossible for her to be fine. There’s no way any person could get used to torture. Nobody would be able to get used to a whip that would strike at you so quickly. With your skin being ripped apart, it’s a lie that you can immerse yourself in your own thoughts. It’s all an illusion.

It was impossible to endure when faced with a whip. It was impossible not to beg. When the fifth lashing came, Carynne started screaming. Spare me, please. I was wrong, please forgive me. And yet, the whip did not stop. The only things she could withstand were the things she had already overcome.

“Why must I be in pain?”

Unbridled anger shot up. Why did she have to keep doing this over and over again? Why? It’s impossible to let this go. It’s impossible to be fine. The only reason her anger towards Verdic was watered down to this extent was because there were many other people who had once killed her. He wasn’t the only one, so she could still look at him in the face.

“If you die, Mister Verdic will be inconsolable.”

Carynne held the pair of scissors that she had kept hidden.

She wondered, why did Verdic make her Isella’s attendant. Did he even know what she could do to this girl. Or did he think that she wouldn’t aim to do something like this. Even now, if she were to do anything less than perfect while taking care of Isella, she would have been heavily reproached.

But after all those lashings, did he truly believe that she’d continue to put up with this?

Tak.

The IV tube connected to Isella’s hand was cut. Carynne stared at the dripping liquid that was soaking the bed. Then, she stared at Isella’s neck. Even as the situation had progressed to this, even as a sharp pair of scissors was being pointed at her neck, she continued to stay blissfully unconscious, her chest going up and down at the same pace without fail.

Would Isella stay unconscious if Carynne stabbed her neck right now? Or would she wake up screaming?

Carynne raised the pair of scissors. If she were to stab Isella here, then she would be out of the picture. Once she’s gone from the narrative, what will happen?

Carynne asked.

“…Do you love Miss Isella?”

“……”

“Sir Raymond.”

She asked the man who had grabbed her wrist.

This time, yet again, Carynne’s attempt ended in failure.

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