Chapter 82: Picture
For the first time in many nights, Arwin slept. The embrace of sleep that had avoided him for so long finally welcomed him back, though it didn’t let him return with grace.
Dreams dug into his mind like the fangs of a Wyrm. Possibilities of what could have been intermixed with the truth of what had been. His words to Reya may have been true, but he wasn’t so sure he believed them himself.
Three of Zeke’s killers were dead. Their death had brought no solace. Jessen still lived, and Arwin still didn’t have a way to kill him. The hunger in Jessen’s eyes – he wanted to crush it.
His resting mind taunted him with the powers that had once been his to command. Just a scant few months ago, Arwin could have killed him with no more difficulty than crushing a Lesser Imp. And yet, a scant few months ago, Arwin was alone. He would have had no reason to kill Jessen. He would have had nothing to lose. A guardian with nothing to protect aside from the distant memory of an ideal that he’d clutched onto ever since he’d arrived in this world.
The only people that he’d truly desired to save were already dead.
A strand of amusement passed through Arwin’s dreams like a swirl of paint through water. In losing his powers, he’d finally found a reason to have them. The haunting dreams started to falter. They shrank before the growing determination that took hold in his mind.
Revenge would be had, but not at the cost of their lives. Zeke was gone. More death would not let him rest easier. The only thing that could ever give his loss meaning was life. Jessen had to be stopped to keep others from meeting the same fate, but Arwin wasn’t strong enough to protect everyone.
And, for the first time, he was truly fine with that. Arwin didn’t have to be strong enough to protect everyone. He just had to be strong enough to protect the people around him.
Only once he could do that would Arwin allow himself to desire more. His eyes drifted open and the dreams shattered before the light of day. Sunlight filtered through the dirty window of Arwin’s room and onto his pillow.
Arwin’s face felt warm. The temptation to lie in bed and let the world pass him by tried to pull at him, but its call fell on deaf ears. There was too much to do. He rose and strode out of the room. Stairs creaked beneath his weight as he headed down to the tavern.
Lillia poked her head out of the kitchen. The light from the lantern just barely illuminated her form.
“You slept?”
“For once,” Arwin said. “You?”
“For once,” Lillia said, a note of amusement tinging her voice. “What now? We throw ourselves into finding a way to kill Jessen?”
“It’s tempting,” Arwin admitted. He would have loved to do just that. It was definitely what Jessen expected. Another vision of Jessen’s eyes passed through his mind, and a grin pulled at Arwin’s lips. “But no. That’s not what we’re doing.”
“What? Why not?” Lillia asked.
“Because there’s only one way to beat someone like this,” Arwin replied. “And it isn’t by playing their game. You got a read on him, didn’t you? Jessen wants us to try him again. He thinks we’ll come knocking at his door with some scheme.”
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“Is that not what we were going to do?” Lillia brushed her hands off on her clothes. They left small streaks of flour behind like the stripes of a tiger. “You can’t mean we’re just going to ignore him.”
“We try to do anything to undermine Jessen directly, and we lose,” Arwin said. “He’s too powerful to take in a direct fight. The moment we try to do anything against him is when he’ll show up with a new game to play.”
“Probably,” Lillia said, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. “You’re saying we drive him insane by just… forgetting about him?”
“By living as if he isn’t even there,” Arwin corrected. “We don’t forget. But Jessen is going to go insane trying to figure out how we’re planning to take him out. He wants to crush us for what we did. I’d wager a bet that he’s also convinced we feel the same toward him.”
“We do.”
“We do.” Arwin nodded. “Which is why he’ll be confident we’re trying something. He’ll spend resources and energy trying to find out what it is. The longer it takes, the more confused and worried he’ll get. He won’t approach us, though. That would be another defeat.”
“You think he’s just going to lose his shit because we do nothing?” Lillia asked doubtfully.
“I think it’ll make him squirm. And, even if it doesn’t, we’ll still be stronger. Jessen will be able to do nothing but watch as we become powerful. He loses the moment he so much as says a word to us.”
A grin crawled across Lillia’s face and she nodded. “I think I see what you’re getting at. We win either way. He won’t be able to handle the fact that we’re just ignoring him. While we focus on ourselves, he focuses on us.”
“Right. Even if he does just ignore us, I’m confident we’ll grow powerful faster than he will. We’ve already seen the path to take and learned what steps to avoid. He hasn’t. Both paths lead to victory.”
“If you’re going to go with this, you’ll need to explain it to the others,” Lillia said. “Reya isn’t going to take it well. She still wants to act.”
“I’ll speak with her,” Arwin said. “It’s not an easy request to make. A large part of me wants to just sprint at Jessen and rip him apart with my bare hands, even though I know that’s going to end with getting myself killed. Reya isn’t stupid. She’ll come around.”
“Then I’ll let Rodrick and Anna know. Are you heading out?”
“Yes. I need to occupy myself. The best way to do that will be trying to return to normal. I’m going to start rebuilding the smithy.”
“You’re not choosing a new building?”
“No. I’m not going to let Jessen take the smithy from me. That’s the spot I chose, and that’s the spot I’ll keep.”
“That’s understandable. I don’t think I’d be willing to swap buildings for the tavern either,” Lillia said. She pushed away from the doorframe and gave Arwin a small smile. “I’ll send Reya your way when she wakes up. Just remember you don’t have to bear all the weight of this on your own.”
“I know. Thank you, Lillia.”
Lillia nodded and turned back to the kitchen. She had her work to do, and Arwin had his. He headed out of the tavern. Bright sunlight fell down on him the instant he stepped out of the door. It took his eyes a moment to adjust.
The longer I spend in the dark, the more comfortable I get in it. I wonder if that speaks more to me or the tavern.
Arwin blinked the brightness away and headed off down the street. He came to a stop at the edge of the burnt block that had once been his smithy. A certain sense of irony struck him. Everything was covered in a layer of ash, black as night. He’d left the darkness of the tavern only to find even more of it outside in the light.
Even though the wind had carried a lot of the ash away, there were still small piles against the remains of the walls and strewn across the ground. It felt like there was no end to it.
I suppose there won’t be until I get started. Can’t get anywhere without taking the first steps, even if you’re taking them for the second time.
Arwin knelt by the ash and scooped it up. He walked over to the ditch behind the smithy. To his surprise, he couldn’t see the bodies of the Brothers Six in it. He tilted his head to the side, the pile of ash in his palms starting to blow away in the wind.
Eh. Who cares what happened to them. Maybe a large stray animal got hungry.
He glanced at the ash. There were probably better ways to dispose of it than dumping it into a hole. Then again, Arwin was pretty sure that ash was good for the dirt. It was a fertilizer. Maybe they could start a garden for Lillia.
Arwin let the handful fall. It twisted and swirled through the air on its way down like it was trying to paint a picture. As to what the picture was, Arwin was unsure. He got the feeling he’d figure it out in time.
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