Sorcerer’s Handbook

In the apartment, the Cult Leader was making eye contact with Bewitcher.

“Why?”

Freya was startled by Ashe’s question, then after thinking for a moment, she said, “I’m still a legal citizen. I can rent an apartment to shelter you, I can work to support you. Any inconveniences you have can be handed off to me, I’ll… I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”

“While I’m flattered you’re willing to work to support me,” Ashe couldn’t help but laugh, “that’s not what I meant. I’m not asking why I would bring you along, but why you want to follow me.”

Freya’s face turned slightly red as she looked down at Little String rubbing against her feet, “There’s no particular reason… I just want to be with you.”

“Then let me rephrase the question: Why can’t you accept me leaving you?”

Freya opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

She bit her lower lip, feeling a pain in her heart, yet she didn’t know how to express it.

Years of indoctrination had taught her not to show her weaknesses.

Suddenly, she remembered what Ashe had said to Little String earlier: “If it hurts, you shouldn’t bear it alone. Shout it out loud, otherwise, no one will know.”

“Because it would hurt,” she said softly. “The thought of never seeing you again, never tasting your cooking, never having our chats… It makes my heart ache, it’s uncomfortable, and I even feel like crying.”

As she spoke, Freya’s voice grew more aggrieved: “Everything should go back to normal once you’re gone, so why does it hurt so much? It’s not different from before, but your presence turns my emotions upside down, why is that…”

“Because you feel lonely.”

“Lonely?” She looked puzzled. “But I—everyone is always alone. The books say that loneliness is the wings of freedom, that freedom shines because of loneliness…”

Ashe pulled Freya to sit at the entranceway, speaking gently, “But you never embraced loneliness before; you were just avoiding it. Because you are young and the world is still novel to you, life is interesting, and you could keep running, with loneliness never catching up to you.”

“You must have watched Fernand Snow’s speech, right? Do you know why he’s looking for his descendants? It’s because loneliness has caught up with him. He’s too old, the world is no longer novel to him, and his life has been reduced to calculations. With nowhere to hide from the chase of loneliness, he desperately needs to find another vessel to contain it—nothing relieves the pain of loneliness quite like seeing one’s own Bloodline continue.”

“What I’ve done is establish a Bond with you. When we are together, the Bond can dispel loneliness; when I leave, the other end of the Bond will be connected to loneliness, which is why you feel pain—you’ve been caught by loneliness and can’t escape.”

Freya looked down at her beautifully manicured feet and murmured softly, “You’re so mean…”

“In your eyes, I must seem like a big villain,” Ashe chuckled. “Actually, your thoughts aren’t wrong, and the education of the Blood Moon is for your own good. As long as you don’t enter into any intimate relationships, don’t establish any Bonds with anyone, you won’t be disappointed, nor will you be lonely or get hurt. Because it never happened, so there’s no fear of loss.”

“But… I refuse to recognize this ‘for your good.’”

Ashe beckoned Little String with a wave, lifted it high upon its arrival, and looked at the area where its testicles should be: “The pet shop neuters the cats before selling them to you because being in heat is very uncomfortable for them, it’s painful, there are many complications, and neutering them is for their good.”

“In my view, what Blood Moon does to you is no different from neutering cats. You’re afraid to enter intimate relationships, even approach cotton candy with extreme caution, which indeed avoids many potential harms, but it also robs you of humanity’s greatest ability—the capacity to love.”

“But humans aren’t pets, at least… they shouldn’t be pets.”

“I’m glad, Freya,” Ashe said, facing Bewitcher’s gaze. “You’ve learned to love, and you know to resist rather than escape loneliness. This means that I’m not the crazy one; it’s the Kingdom.”

“Ashe, you really are a complete Cult Leader.” Freya’s smile carried a touch of sadness. “So what should I do?”

“Don’t resist entering into intimate relationships, actively seek new Bonds, whether they be friendships or romances, that way you can counter loneliness,” Ashe said. “However, the way you love needs some adjustment; it’s too extreme. Saying things like ‘working to support me,’ you shift from ‘complete self-reliance’ to ‘complete dependence’ too quickly. It’s easy to be taken advantage of by jerks that way.”

“Maintain your sense of self, learn to love. As long as you do these two things, you can live well even in this crazy kingdom, or rather, at least live happier than others.”

Freya looked at him longingly. “Can’t I really come with you?”

“It’s not that you can’t, I would like that,” Ashe said. “But it means you would have to give up the results of your efforts over the past decade, risk becoming a fugitive, give up the degree that’s within your reach, forsake the resource-rich university, abandon the mature training system of the Blood Moon Kingdom, and even give up the chance to become a Mind Sorcerer… Are you willing to do that?”

Bewitcher was taken aback.

“I’ve been with you for five days and four nights. Compared to the years you have spent in Kaimon, this time is insignificant. To you, I’m actually not that important; you are just a bit impulsive—of course, I’m pleased by this impulse, it means your Affection is budding.”

Ashe couldn’t help but laugh: “Come to think of it, I once invited someone to leave with me, and she also refused me decisively because of real-life concerns. Now that you are pursuing me, I find myself refusing you.”

Freya muttered, “You covet what you can’t have and disdain what’s offered to you.”

“I’m starting to doubt my own noble character with all the insults you’ve been throwing at me,” Ashe grinned bitterly. “But my thoughts haven’t changed—I can offer you this choice, but you have to think it over.”

“I can be your regret, but not your disaster.”

Freya picked up Little String, slumped to the ground, and after a long time, she slowly said, “So you plan to toy with me until I can never go back, and then just walk away?”

Encouraged by Ashe to take a step back, she began to cool down. Becoming a Mind Sorcerer was her dream, and though she was head over heels in love at the moment, it was only because she hadn’t weighed her options seriously—or perhaps she didn’t want to. However, when Ashe put both her dream and her love on the scales of Libra before her, she could no longer avoid the choice.

What’s visible is always deemed important, while what’s invisible can easily be discarded.

“You suddenly lash out so fiercely, making me sound like a jerk, but I really haven’t done anything,” Ashe said with a mix of laughter and helplessness: “And it’s not like I haven’t given anything in return… haven’t I given you a Spirit?”

He paused, then added: “If you haven’t found a new Bond yet, then let this Spirit be a reminder of me. Longing can alleviate loneliness, and longing can brew anticipation.”

Freya looked at the Sympathy Spirit within the Fluorescence Sphere, a sudden pang of sorrow hitting her.

“You’ve been so kind to me, done so much these past few days, is it all just out of sympathy?”

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