Sorcerer’s Handbook

“Lise, stop moving around, or we’re all going to crash!”

On the outskirts of Azura, the team from the Funeral Firm was embarking on a heart-pumping night ride.

Yes, they were riding bicycles.

After leaving the core urban area of Azura—also known as the edge of the Double-tiered City—Annan instructed everyone to dismount and then set the Hovercar free to escape in a different direction.

“Don’t get caught by those evil Humans again,” Ashe thought as he watched the Hovercar disappear into the distance.

It was understood, even without saying, that continuing to drive would only expose their exact location; they might even blow up while on the move.

Although the secrecy protocols of the Gospel prevented direct tracking of Ashe and the others’ locations, it was possible to attempt tracing their vehicle. And since all automated vehicles utilize the Gospel’s data analysis, it was only a matter of time before things went awry, especially with the Moonlit Harmony Home Firm’s enthusiasts who loved meddling with others’ vehicles.

Switching transportation was inevitable. However, now in the seventeenth century, not just in the Gospel, but even the Blood Moon Kingdom was pushing for transport automation. Thus, when they prepared to flee Azura, the only safe mode of transportation available was—bicycles.

Aside from single-rider bikes, there were options for two or three riders, and with a Holographic Screen mounted on the bike canopy showing images of Orc and Elf families enjoying a trip, it was clear these bicycles were meant for leisurely countryside excursions, not for escaping danger.

This turned the scene rather comical: everyone riding bicycles to escape the pursuit of the Red Cap and the firm, with Annan in pajamas and Ashe in slippers…

Fortunately, there weren’t many vehicles on the highway outside the city core at night; otherwise, anyone seeing them might think they were some bizarrely assembled family.

Ashe was responsible for carrying Lise. Although there were children’s bicycles available, they were slow, and besides… Lise couldn’t ride.

So Lise had no choice but to sit on the back seat of Ashe’s bike. However, she seemed to think this was a spontaneous outing and couldn’t keep still, squirming around constantly. After scolding her, Ashe finally felt her settle down and he could breathe a sigh of relief. As he rode into the brisk night air, his mind wandered to their current predicament.

Undoubtedly, the reason they had abruptly switched from a peaceful working life to a fleeing drama tonight was because of him.

Although he hadn’t done anything, his very existence had been branded by the Gospel as a violation of public decency.

Ashe still couldn’t figure out why he had appeared on the Art Ranking, and as an art piece no less—he could only be thankful that the creator was Annan and not Harvey. Although the Gospel had ranked his portrait first, making it look like it was from a fanatical admirer, it actually seemed more like a backhanded compliment.

Even though the Gospel didn’t explicitly write that Ashe had done anything, the nine artworks ranked before him all depicted the Kingdom facing calamity. With his portrait ranked first, anyone with a bit of imagination wouldn’t see Ashe as a mere innocent bystander.

He was either seen as a salvational Angel or the root of all evil—there were no other options.

Clearly, the Imperial Core believed the latter, and Ashe tended to agree—not that he thought he had the mettle to save the world.

But he didn’t really believe he was destined to leave behind a legacy of eternal infamy either; he simply felt his resume had been tainted by Annan and Eternal Calamity.

Yes, Eternal Calamity—Ashe still remembered that colleague who didn’t know how to clean up after herself, leaving him with the new Occupation of ‘Calamity Walker’. Ashe strongly suspected his appearance on the Art Ranking was probably due to ‘Calamity Walker’ finally taking effect, triggering a “critical moment Luck Check -50”, which led the Gospel to label him as a disaster of this world.

It was like a project going so badly that it split open, and an angry boss wanting to randomly fire someone to vent, so he just pointed at Ashe.

Moreover, Annan was also highly suspect. According to her, to disrupt the future narratives woven by the Gospel, she had been embellishing the resumes of Ashe and others. Although it was unlikely that the Gospel would believe it, what if it did?

Now was that unlikely scenario.

Who knows if Annan had added something like “This is a never-give-up, passionate Sorcerer who is good at rallying partners and whose ideal is world peace and mutual understanding among all people”—If that was the character setting, then Ashe being wronged by the Gospel wouldn’t actually be unjust at all.

However, Ashe now had another problem to consider.

Would Annan turn him in to ensure her own safety?

Despite Annan’s rapid escape, she actually didn’t need to flee. If she agreed to cooperate with Moonlit Harmony Home Firm to develop Igor and others, the firm would immediately back her up.

She had an exit strategy.

But Ashe had nowhere to retreat. Now that the Imperial Core believed the Gospel’s slander, convinced that Ashe, a zero-star nobody, could indeed bring disaster to the land, once caught by the Red Caps, it would be a dead end for him. Even the Gospel’s talk of human rights wouldn’t help.

Imprisonment? After a few years, he would surely harbor resentment and bring disaster!

Exile? Being cast out would certainly breed anger and a desire for revenge!

Once it was believed that Ashe’s future would only bring disaster, any path leading to that future would be seen as nourishing. The only way to save Ashe was to ensure he had no future.

If it were someone else, Ashe would surely agree to sacrifice one for the happiness of many, but since the sacrifice was himself, he naturally wouldn’t just surrender.

He needed to prepare for the worst…

Snap.

Ashe heard the sound of a safety being released, and then felt something hard pressing against his lower back.

“…Is this how intense kids’ rebellious phases are these days?”

But Ashe quickly realized why Lise was being so aggressive—the sound of an approaching Hovercar was putting a severe psychological burden on the escapees.

They rode along a tree-lined path at the very edge of the highway. Even though it was night, the infrastructure of the Gospel Kingdom was so well-maintained that every ten steps there was a light, making the highway as bright as a cemetery during the daytime.

However, Annan and the others didn’t make any special moves, waiting until the Hovercar passed. Banjeet then explained, “That was a cargo truck, fully automated and unmanned. We haven’t been spotted yet.”

“But what about the travel monitors on the truck?” Igor asked. “If our movements were recorded…”

Annan’s decision to flee the city rather than stay and conduct guerrilla warfare in Azura was largely due to the abundance of surveillance cameras in the city. Both the Red Caps and the Firm preferred to use the Gospel to access surveillance footage rather than directly pinpointing targets—after all, surveillance cameras don’t have the same high level of confidentiality as natural persons.

Once any traces of them were captured by the cameras, others could simply spend some Points to access their last known locations legally and legitimately, which was considered a right of citizens.

“This vehicle is heading to the second-tier city of Omidor. Even using the Gospel, people from Azura can’t cross cities to access surveillance data from Omidor. By the time they trace us, it will be the day after tomorrow at the earliest.”

“By then, we’ll already be in another city.”

Annan rode her bicycle off the main road and onto a side path, with the others following. They quickly reached a small hill, or rather a slope, which was even shorter than the fir trees on either side of the road.

“This should be the place…”

Annan signaled for everyone to dismount, then she and Banjeet started searching the area.

With nothing else to do, Ashe glanced at the handgun Lise was holding: “Where did you get that?”

“I bought it from the Curtain,” Lise replied. “The ‘Child’s Play Armament Gift Pack.’ It came with ten boxes of shot bullets, a box of kitten shot bullets, a box of puppy shot bullets, and a very rare box of Lala Fatty shot bullets! Only one in ten packs contains them!”

“Do the special shot bullets serve any purpose?”

“They’re pretty! Biubiubiu! If you shoot someone with them, they’ll probably be happy, right?”

“Kids can buy guns from the Curtain and even have them delivered to their homes… That’s more liberal than during the Blood Moon.” Ashe reached out to lower the muzzle of her gun. “Remember, don’t point the gun at people, and your safety is off… Let me keep it for you.”

“No!”

Lise showed a protective, animal-like expression, shaking her head firmly and clutching the handgun tightly. “Lise needs the handgun to protect herself!”

“I will protect you. Have you forgotten our Contract—”

“But you’re not really sincere, Dad.”

As Ashe’s hand was swatted away, he blinked, the camaraderie built over the past few days of fun and leisure shattered with that single gesture.

The young girl with white hair showed a trace of sadness on her face, looking down at her toes and whispering, “You actually hate me, don’t you? It was me who insisted on pulling you into signing the Contract to protect me… Who would want a daughter who only brings trouble?”

“If there was no danger, we could continue playing our father-daughter game,” she said, gripping the handgun tightly. “But the game is over now.”

Harvey and Igor glanced at them before turning to keep watch over the surroundings.

Ashe looked at the small hedgehog in front of him, not particularly surprised.

As Lise had said, their relationship was merely a charade. Initially, Lise had only wanted to maintain a superficial father-daughter relationship to deceive Miss Annan, but the days had been so peaceful that Ashe would turn his head whenever he heard the word ‘Dad.’

The illusion of peaceful times was shattered, and it was time to return to the harsh reality of survival.

Nevertheless…

Ashe crouched down in front of Lise, meeting her gaze.

“When you go to Aunt Bukin to get your hair braided, be nice,” he advised. “The trick is to tie an ugly braid yourself first; then she can’t stand it and will fix it for you.”

“Mm.”

“When you want to play games, Banjeet is your best choice, followed by Harvey. But remember not to go into his room when you pick Harvey.”

“Mm.”

“And when you approach Miss Annan…”

Lise couldn’t listen anymore; she grabbed his sleeve, tugging and twisting it.

“Aren’t you going to care about me anymore?”

Ashe raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say the game was over? From now on, we are strangers, at most bound by the Contract to come to your rescue if you’re in danger.”

“I didn’t mean it was over forever,” Lise muttered.

“So what are you saying? Ashe when you need something, Daddy when it’s convenient, a comrade in danger, and a father when things are calm?”

Lise fidgeted and pouted, “Can’t it be like that?”

Ashe responded, “You already said you think I hate you, so why should I cooperate with you? You don’t listen to me; why should I listen to you?”

Tears welled up in the little girl’s eyes as she pulled out a small mirror and looked down without speaking. After a while, she reluctantly handed over the handgun. Ashe reached for it, but it didn’t budge at first; he had to pull harder to take it from her.

While examining the handgun, he asked, “Have you learned any Gun Technique?”

Lise didn’t reply, or rather, she refused to speak, her nose twitching. It wasn’t until Ashe asked a second time that she unhappily exclaimed, “I haven’t learned!”

“Hmm—do you want to learn?”

“Hmm?” Lise looked at Ashe, puzzled. “Will you teach me?”

“I haven’t learned either; I can’t teach you.”

Lise didn’t say anything, just gave Ashe a ‘are you picking a fight?’ look. Ashe shrugged, “But we could learn from Banjeet. Once things settle down, how about we go learn Gun Technique from him together? I wonder if Banjeet has any tricks marked ‘definitely teach the kids someday’…”

Lise also remembered Banjeet’s cabinet full of games labeled “to play with the kids someday,” and couldn’t help but giggle. “Banjeet might let us play Gun Technique games.”

As he ejected the Shot Bullets from the chamber and checked the safety, Ashe handed the handgun back to Lise under her astonished gaze. “Unless it’s really an emergency, don’t use the handgun. Even if you don’t trust me, you should trust the Contract. Anyone who wants to harm you has to get past my Corpse first.”

“…Aren’t you going to take it away?”

“You just said I wasn’t sincere, but in fact, it’s you who has never shown your true heart.” Ashe reached out and ruffled Lise’s hair. “You never trust that adults will protect you; you only trust yourself.”

“That’s really sad,” he said softly. “Just like Igor and Harvey.”

Lise blinked in surprise, then shook her head forcefully. “I am not pitiful!”

“Since you refuse to trust adults, then keep the weapon that can protect you. Lise, you are a smart kid, and I believe you know what’s important.” Ashe smiled, “But you’re too smart sometimes, so you might get things wrong.”

“What did I get wrong?”

“You said no one would want a daughter who only brings trouble. In fact, that’s true.”

Watching Lise’s mood quickly drop, Ashe flicked her forehead gently: “But there isn’t a single child who only brings trouble to adults.”

Ashe couldn’t help but remember when he went back to his hometown, his older brother would always complain about the mischievous kids at home, hoping Ashe would discipline his nephew a few more times since visits were rare—after all, his brother’s wife and parents lived together, and with grandparents around, his nephew was as cocksure as a crab, walking sideways. His brother had been blocked several times from disciplining him, and a new belt bought for the purpose had never been used.

However, when the two sat down for a late-night snack and chat, his brother couldn’t help but boast about his nephew entering some competition, and showed Ashe photos from a family outing. Last Father’s Day, his nephew had given him a gift, and he was as thrilled as if he had drawn a rare card in a mobile game.

Although Ashe had long become a cold, money-making worker, seeing the joy that he couldn’t hide on his brother’s face, he felt he could empathize.

“What do you mean?” Lise, covering her forehead, was still puzzled.

“It means you won’t even call me ‘Dad’,” Ashe said, standing up with a smile.

What used to be a casually spoken title now made Lise feel embarrassingly shy, but she kept clutching at Ashe’s sleeve.

“We’ve found it.”

With Banjeet’s joyful voice, a doorway suddenly appeared on the hillside, leading to a staircase that went underground. Everyone quickly pushed their bicycles inside, and as they stepped down the stairs, the lights flickered on one by one, like a belated knocking that woke the sleeping host.

When they reached the end, a fully equipped basement appeared before them.

“At last, we can rest.”

Annan let out a long sigh of relief, went over to lie on a makeshift sofa, lazily rolled around a few times, then sat up and addressed everyone: “Welcome to my grandfather’s tomb.”

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