The Butcher of Gadobhra

Ozzy didn't sleep a hell of a lot the night before their first day off. He was finding out he really didn't need to. Sleepless in Seattle meant he could get by on four hours of sleep and feel well rested. But it had taken nearly a week to adjust to the skill. Sleeping was a habit and even if your body didn't need the rest, your mind was in the habit of taking that time off.

Long before the sun rose he was awake. He went down to the river where some of the women did the washing. He filled a tub, stripped, and tossed his clothes in the cold water and added a bit of lye soap he found near the stacked tubs. He scrubbed the clothes, dumped the filthy red water, and refilled the tub to let them soak. His job really got both he and his clothes filthy. He'd tried rinsing them out at night, but they really needed a good long soak. So did he. He knew the water was cold, but it really didn't bother him much. A lot of things didn't bother him - and that fact bothered him. The "don't worry, be happy" buff was always on.

After both he and his clothes were clean, he wrung them out to remove as much moisture as he could. He had to be careful, it felt like he could easily rip them in half. By the end of the week he had picked up his third level in STR. That brought his total to 6. He'd felt the same feeling of getting more powerful, but hadn't grown any bigger. Instead, it felt like his muscles tightened. They were more corded, less bulky, like they were made of steel wire. This wasn't necessarily a good thing. The text once again suggested he might want to focus on constitution or risk injuring himself. At the end of the day his shoulders and elbows were sore as hell.

He'd made a visit to the general store the night before and bought some new clothes. There was still a baggy look to the pants and tunic, but they were much better made than what he had started with. The fabric was some sort of coarse, thick wool. It was dyed in a light brown color. The man running the store had said it would get softer after a couple of washes. He also got a wide leather belt with hooks to hang a pouch. A new set of heavy leather gloves and work boots completed his purchases. He was burning through the money he'd gotten from pod testing, but he needed the clothes. His first set was worn out after a week of hard work and multiple washings.

Thinking of his friends, he used the rest of the money on three more sets of boots, socks and heavy hooded cloaks for each of them. Can't go adventuring without a nice cloak. Ben, Rolly, and Suzette were quite thankful for the upgrades. They wondered if they'd each get a chance at the relatively easy money; but neither Ben nor Rolly had died yet, and Suzette said she'd just played some games while dead and not received a message like Ozzy had.

Walking over to the barn, Rolly retrieved the gear they had stored behind the hay. They had four wooden spears with carved bone tips. Each of them had an eating knife that wasn't quite a dagger. Ozzy took his hammer and cleaver. The others also had a short wooden cudgel. Pretty primitive shit, but they were also going after level 0 creatures. At most level 1.

Ben had tried to craft some leather armor, but his skills and available patterns were mostly saddles and tack. He had managed a sort of padded back and breast set from two saddle pads and a lot of straps added. They were bulky, but better than nothing. Suzette, Rolly, and Ben planned to wear them. Ozzy would stick with the heavy leather apron he always wore.

They each had packs, some food, and water skins. Suzette had some first-aid supplies and herbs in a basket, hoping she wouldn't have to use them.

As the sun came up, they put everything in a pile and headed back for the morning debriefing, after which they planned to immediately take off. The rest of the workers were there milling around and eating the ever-present groat muffins. Billy came out of his hut and for once had no paperwork with him.

"Congrats folks! We all made it through our first week. We got a lot done and made a good dent in things. We'll pick up tomorrow morning right at dawn with some new goals. But for today, you get a day off. I made sure management kept their word on that. Trust me, most any other manager would have you working 24/7 if he could. This project means that much to ACME. But I told the head office, "Hey, these guys are working hard. They deserve that day to themselves. We'll be back to it on Monday morning." I've got a bit of clout upstairs, so I went to bat for you. And I want you to have fun."

"But seriously, I've got to be honest with you. I worry some of you are going to try and go do the adventurer thing and bop turtles on the heads for some EP and weapon experience. It's not easy for a Contract Worker. We got you guys a lot of skills that will pay off down the line, but we didn't figure on anyone trying to play Conan. But that's up to you. You want to get mangled by a rabid fox or piss off a bear? Go right ahead. Good for you to die a few times and get it out of your system."

"Of course, if you want to play it smart and avoid that, there's some things you can do around the village. First, take a nice walk and go shopping. I'm advancing you all another 100 copper on your paychecks. And there's free lunch and dinner at the tavern with a complimentary ale at each meal. My little thank you for a week of good work. In the afternoon, I thought we'd work a bit on some quality of life stuff. Fix up the huts a bit with some better cots and stuff some mattresses. I'll bet we can make them downright liveable. And for tonight, I've got marshmallows to roast on the campfire. Should be a good time."

"But, whatever you want to do is just fine by me. Just don't say I didn't warn you. Alright, off with you."

Billy has offered you a lovely package deal to help you spend your day off. It includes:

- +100 copper coins. (Your salary will be docked 100 copper coins).

- Free lunch and dinner with an ale at each meal.

- Free classes on how to stuff mattresses and make homemade cots and stools.

- A dozen marshmallows around the fire to celebrate the first week.

- Your promise not to go do something stupid like trying kill things in the newbie zones.

Y/N?

It was about an even split between the yes and no groups. Two groups seemed to be walking towards the newbie areas outside of town. Ben motioned for everyone to walk towards the village like they were going shopping, and then went out the other side. They stopped at the barn to retrieve their gear and then headed to the meadows.

Rolly had found a nice meadow that wasn't an official starting area for players, but was filled with slow, fat rabbits. Ben had gone and checked it out at night as well. Ben started to head towards the river but Rolly stopped the group. "Uh, best we not go that way folks - lets circle around through the woods a bit."

"Any particular reason why? What's wrong with this way?" Suzette didn't like the idea of an extra mile through the woods.

"Well, best to avoid that field today. See I moved over a few more cows last night, and Ferdinand was giving them that look that said, 'I'll be by tonight ladies.' But Betty had her look that said, 'I think I'll kill everything that moves if you do that.' She's awful jealous and tends towards violence even at the best of times. We'll go around and not have any hassles."

The others shrugged and they set off. It was about a three mile walk through light woods. Ben was trying to spot tracks. Suzette was stopping to gather any interesting herbs. Ozzy noticed she wore a pair of gloves and used a trowel to pick them up, being as careful as she could.

After a bit of a walk, they arrived at the hunting grounds that Rolly had found for them. He was obviously excited to show them something. When they were almost out of the woods, he led them to a newly dug ditch. It was nearly 6' deep and 3' wide. The end in the woods sloped down easily and they followed him for about fifty feet to where it sloped up a bit and came out behind a simple structure. Made of logs and dirt, it was a hunters blind sunk down into the ground and camouflaged with bushes and grass that was growing on top of it.

"Isn't it great?! Once I found this place I came out here a couple of nights to work on it. It gives us a spot to watch the herd and not be seen and keeps the rain off of us if we need a break." He was quite proud of it and the others made appreciative noises. "I'm going to expand it a bit more if I need to - already starting another pile of logs."

Stepping up to the front of the structure, Ben looked through the slits made for observation. They were just at the edge of a field of close-cropped grass. A dozen large, fat rabbits grazed there. He concentrated on the nearest one.

Name Level Difficulty Health Fat Rabbit 0 Very Low 100

"Well, I guess these are ok for starting out. Our skills are probably pretty weak. We can level up some on these, maybe try some of the level 1 areas later on. Is there a way to form a group? That's a basic function of any game."

Suzette looked at the rabbits and shrugged. "Not sure we can form a group or not, as Contract Workers, but you'd assume that there has to be a way, right? I'm sure I've heard players talk about doing it. But I brought up the /Help interface, and there is nothing about groups."

Various commands were tried. "Start Group," "Group!" "Invite," …..nothing worked, nor was there anything at all in the interface.

Ben paced and grumbled, "What does it take? There has to be a way!"

Rolly turned to Suzette and bowed at the waist. "My dear, allow me to introduce myself, I am Dragonlord Roland of Ebonmount, would you be so kind as to join my party?"

Ben scoffed. Suzette rolled her eyes but played along and curtseyed. "Oh, but of course, M'lord. It would be an honor."

Each got a message.

Dragonlord Roland of Ebonmount has extended an invitation to join his group. You will share experience and loot from fighting and quests. Y/N

Lady Suzette has joined your party.

Congratulations on creating an alternate form of creating a party. This method is now permanently in the game and may be used. You can share, or not share as you wish.

"Would you be so kind as to join my party?" Sends invite to join your Party.

"It would be an Honor." Accept invite.

"Not today, I'm washing my hair." Decline invite

"Ta Ta, I must be off." Removes you from the group

"Out of wine. Sorry, party's over." Disbands the party

"That's about enough of you." Removes player from party

"We're putting the band back together." Reforms latest party and sends invites.

Ozzy accepted the invite, as did Ben. "How? Just how did you figure that out, Rolly?"

"Sort of obvious when you think about it, Ben. You said there had to be a way. If we didn't have one, it meant that ACME didn't want us to have one. Which means the normal commands don't work. So I tried a more traditional approach."

"Nicely done, Rolly. Lets go kills some rabbits." Ozzy grabbed his spear, the others followed.

Party member Health Stamina Mana Condition Benedict 200 300 240 Healthy Suzette 200 300 200 Healthy Roland 100 300 140 Healthy Oswald 280 990 200 Healthy

As the party screen appeared in the corner of their vision, they all pondered it for a minute, noting their different stats. Rolly was the first to speak.

"Oh, that helps a lot. Ben has 200 health from being level two. So does Ozzy, but he has extra STR and CON. Both stats must affect Stamina and Health. Mana looks like it's affected by points in INT, WIS and CHR.

Health is 100 per level plus 20 for each point of CON and 10 for a point of STR.

Stamina is similar, but uses 20 for STR and 10 for Con. And then that 3x modifier they gave us for being Contract Workers.

Mana is 100 per level and 20 per point of INT, WIS, or CHR. That needs more info though. Bet it has some class specific stuff."

Ozzy and Suzette nodded. They'd seen Rolly do this before - make sense out of bits of info that the rest of them would need hours to ponder. Ben just kept forgetting and was always astounded when Rolly pulled something out of his hat.

"I really need to level up. Time to get some EP." Rolly started sneaking up on the nearest unsuspecting bunny. He slowly moved around it, staying about thirty feet away. It ignored him. He moved forward and thrust his spear at it. He missed. He thrust several more times, the rabbit content to munch grass. Finally on his 6th try he stuck the spear into the rabbit and it squealed in pain.

Critical Hit! You have done 20 points of damage to a Fat Rabbit with your 'default weapon'.

The rabbit tried to bite Rolly, but missed. As the others watched, Rolly and the rabbit circled each other, mostly missing or adding small scratches. The rabbit actually over balanced at one point, but Rolly only managed to slightly poke at it's back a bit, despite it laying unmoving for a few seconds. Finally, after a couple of minutes the Fat Rabbit put it's teeth into his thigh and bit a chunk out of him, causing Rolly to fall over, screaming. The rest rushed in to help.

Ozzy missed several times with his spear, but kept it off Rolly. Suzette got in a small strike. Ben tripped and fell over. The bunny took a chunk out of Ben's ear while he was getting up, doing minor, but embarrassing, damage. After another dozen attacks by all combatants, Ozzy had numerous bites on his legs and was down by 40hp, Rolly was at half of his 100, Suzette was unharmed, and Ben was just missing the tip of his ear and down 10 points. Ben finally managed two hits in a row, and put the beast down.

Congratulations! Your group managed to kill a level 0 Fat Rabbit and survive its terrible wrath. Treasure this moment forever and tell the story to your descendants.

You have earned 0 experience. You will gain CON EP when your wounds heal.

Ozzy looked at the bloody, panting group and at the carcass of the rabbit. "Let's take a break and consider this some."

They moved back to the blind and Ben started a fire. Ozzy butchered the rabbit in a few seconds and put some pieces on skewers. Suzette took chunks of meat and set to work on some recipe of her own. The rabbit was meaty with about 10 lbs. of good parts that would cook up well.

Suzette chopped up the meat and fat, and mixed in some herbs and breadcrumbs. Molding them into a familiar shape, she put them by the fire to bake. "Are those supposed to be muffins?" Rolly asked.

"Yep, I only know how to make muffins. So I'm making Meat Muffins."

The food got done too quickly. Really quick, as no matter what Ozzy did, he either burned the skewers or they came out raw. Disgusted, he tried a muffin. "Damn, Suzy, this is tasty!"

You have learned a new recipe that you created on your own. Meat muffins are now a thing!

You may not earn EP as a baker or cook as you lack the skills.

You have earned 50 EP in Hermetics and 50EP in INT. Meat isn't a muffin, but you made two dissimilar things be equal. Continue your quest to find new things in the world.

Thrice Blessed Hermes, God of All Things Cool would like to try Meat muffins some time.

Blinking at the message, Suzette kept it to herself, but tried one of her muffins. They really were good. They all received a message after about 20 minutes.

A short rest is good for small wounds. A fire, a nap, and a bit of food have healed your wounds and you may continue your battle against the horde of Fat Rabbits. You receive 1 EP in CON for each 10 points of damage you have healed.

"Well, that's something. Enough of these and we can at least get a point of CON and some more health." Ben left his spear behind, intending to try a club this time. Rolly did the same. Ozzy brought out his cleaver and Suzette produced some darts.

"Darts?" Ben was curious.

"Brought them from the Tavern. I've got the skill, Pub Games, which includes darts, some card and dice games and some drinking games. I'm pretty good with darts. Can't hurt to try."

The next fight started off with them circling a Fat Rabbit and Suzette tossing two darts quickly at it. Both hit, one going in deep. Everyone else attacked, and missed, including the rabbit. Suzette had backpedaled as soon as she threw the first two darts. Her next two also hit, and the rabbit died. Everyone but Suzette got a message similar to the first. Suzette got the following:

Your group has killed a Fat Rabbit. You receive the following:

-You have adapted the skill Pub Games to learn Combat Dart Throwing. This is a secondary skill.

-3 EP in Combat Dart Throwing

-3 EP in DEX

She shared this with the group as they sat down in the sunny meadow and discussed ideas. The rabbits ignored them.

After much sharing of skills, stats, and past messages, they all turned and looked at Rolly.

"Ok, this is just a theory, but I think it's all about how ACME is trying to screw us and keep us from Adventuring. It's pretty obvious - Billy as much as said it straight up. Whatever skills normal players have for combat, we don't have. I notice the little bits of armor we made aren't doing anything either, the rabbit bites right through them, and they slow us down."

"All of us are crap at hitting what is probably the easiest mob in the game - maybe 10% by my estimate. I think it depends on level and DEX, neither of which I have. I hit once and it said 20 points on the crit. I think critical hits are double damage. So I'm doing 10 points and it says 'default weapon.' All but Suzette got the same messages, but I notice Ozzy does a LOT more damage. The one time he hit, it was for 40 points. 10 points base, 6 STR; so extra STR equates to 5 pts of damage per hit - at least for 'default weapons.'

"Suzette isn't using a default weapon and is hitting a hell of a lot more. So obviously we all need to figure out some way to get similar weapons."

Ben was looking at Ozzy. "Why doesn't your cleaver do more? Is it still a default weapon?"

Ozzy looked at his sheet. "I don't have cleaver as a weapon. I have Hack Flesh and Chop Bone. Both skills can't be used against living creatures, just carcasses. I'm sure they put cleaver on the, 'No, you don't get to use this' list. Too obvious."

Ben stood up. "New plan I think. We need to do a few things. First, level up some stats. We can work on con some today. If we kill enough rabbits to get to 50 EP, the three of us will have 1 CON like Ozzy, and more HP. Any skill that gives STR, DEX, CON is good for combat. We work on those during the week. And secondly, we experiment with odd 'non-weapons' and see if we can each find something. It's slow, but we can beat this."

"I have another way to level CON and minor poison resist," Ozzy said laughingly, "but you aren't going to like it. I'll be cooking sedge beast each day to level it. Messy and painful, but it might be better than healing rabbit bites."

Rolly was happy. "We know stuff and have a plan, lets go kill more rabbits. We all need to block the bunny from getting to Suzette next time. We suck at hitting it but we can still get in it's way while she deals death from above."

The rest of the morning was spent killing Fat Rabbits, and occasionally taking a break to heal up. They were accumulating a nice pile of rabbits which they thought they could sell to the Tavern or Inn. After one break, they noticed the last three Fat Rabbits were moving towards them.

Ben noticed first. "Heads up. They might be actually working together now, rather than letting us kill them one by one."

Rolly thought they looked scared. "Poor things are shivering. Come here little bunny, I'll protect you."

Laughter echoed through the meadow. And not the good kind like at your 6th birthday party. No, this was more like the laughter of the pack of bullies who caught you in the men's room knowing you have your lunch money on you. A cloud obscured the sun and a bit of wind picked up.

And who is going to protect you while you protect the chubby bunny? I'll give you a hint: No one. >

A large wolf with red eyes stalked into the meadow. That was enough for the three remaining Fat Rabbits who started running for the safety of a hole in the ground. They didn't make it. Black lightning arced from the Wolf's eyes and they slumped to the ground. Then they clumsily got back up.

Name Level Difficulty Health Fat Zombie Bunny 0 Very Low 100

Name Level Difficulty Health Chartok the Necro-wolf Beyond you. 50% more than certain than death. A whole bunch

And since you took my lunch, lets bring out a few more friends to play.>

With a horrible screaming sound the earth broke open around them and a pack of things crawled from the ground.

Name Level Difficulty Health Rabbit Skeleton 0 Very Low, but oh so many! 50

This will teach you to steal a poor, hungry puppy's lunch!>

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