By the time Lu Mengjie gained her consciousness, the first person she saw was the same man who accompanied her earlier. The lamp that was on the bedside table, dimly lit the man's sleeping figure. He was leaning against the back post of the chair. His long legs and strong arms were crossed together. His eyes shut, his breathing steady. She just noticed how long and dark his eyelashes were. He looked more like a beautiful painting in her eyes.
Before she met him, she would usually stare for hours at Si Hongqi's face, especially when he smiled. Yes, she loved his smile the most since- she paused from her thoughts.
Si Hongqi… She furrowed her brows together. She was unconsciously thinking of him despite the fact that she still couldn't remember how he looked like an adult but if she based it on her childhood memory where she first met him, then she could compare him to an angel.
Han Xukun, her fiancé… Si Hongqi, the man she wanted to marry… and now, Yong Liwei, her boyfriend… just how many men should she meet more? She suddenly felt like a sinful woman without the rest of her memories back.
She gently placed a hand on her growing belly and looked up at the ceiling to think. Yong Liwei was the first man she slept with. At least that was based on her memories of him. If she was to calculate the time, it was perfect.
"Shit," she mumbled under her breath. It was a mistake on her part. She knew that they went raw and yet, how the hell could she forget to take after pills? It never really entered her mind. It was her first time. But… Yong Liwei did tell her about it… He was not talking about Vitamins. All the excitement filled her mind. She felt embarrassed. She got pregnant out of wedlock. Her parents were going to kill her.
She let out an audible sigh. She was reckless. Irresponsible. She should have knowledge of safe sex. Wasn't it discussed during high school? Sex education was there to avoid unwanted, unplanned pregnancies. She should have at least remembered. She should have at least thought of it. Raw sex would always cause pregnancy unless either of the two were infertile. She could only blame herself for being an irresponsible adult back then.
She threw her gaze at the man who was sleeping… or so she thought. She froze. Her eyes went wide, her brows raised in surprise. "Y-you're awake…" she sputtered.
His gaze softened. He was a light sleeper, one small sound, even if it was from a feather landing on the ground, it was enough to stir him awake. He reached out and touched her cheek, caressing her with his thumb as he asked gently, "how are you feeling?"
Instead of answering him, she replied with another question, "how long were you awake?"
He chuckled lightly, drawing back his hand. "When you whispered 'shit'." He pressed a button from the side to recline her bed. He adjusted the tray table to her bed. After doing so, he stood up and went to get the food from the refrigerator. It was the food that Tian Ruyi bought for her earlier. He reheated it in the microwave.
Lu Mengjie was relieved when he tore his gaze from her. It was too much for her to bear. She was afraid that she might end up blurting out a sudden request of wanting to be kissed.
"What's bothering you? Did you remember another memory?" He inquired while waiting for the microwave's timer to end.
"No… I just…" She paused hesitatingly. Should she tell him that he was the father of her baby? She couldn't bring herself to tell him. She looked at the man standing beside the table, patiently waiting for her to continue.
"How much did Tian Ruyi say about my situation?" She asked instead. It would be easier if he had been fully informed by her friend.
"Everything." He turned his back on her when he replied. He took out the lunch box from the microwave.
She couldn't see what kind of expression he was making. It was dark. She couldn't tell but she felt something from that one simple reply. Guilt perhaps? … or regret?
"The doctor told me that I should call him the moment you wake up but you must be hungry. I'm pretty sure that you don't want to be bothered yet." He walked back to her, placing the food on the tray table. He positioned the spoon on top of the lunch box then filled the glass with water.
She quietly watched him, his movements were so neat and elegant, just like a trained butler. An out-of-this-world handsome butler. She could stare at him the whole day and she would never get tired of it. If only he was a perfect being… but no, this man was human. He could become angry. He could become sad. He could make mistakes, humanly mistakes… and yet, this imperfect man was just flawless in her eyes. He was an ideal art that she was never going to give to someone else.
"Mengjie?" His voice brought her back to reality. A reality that could turn upside down at any moment in life.
"Do you want me to feed you instead?"
He has already done too much right now. She straightened her back and picked up the spoon and fork but she ended up staring at the food instead. She didn't have an appetite. She was worried. Anxious. They said that a woman's emotion was harder to control when pregnant. The anxiety inside her kept building up. Kept eating her inside.
"Even if you don't have an appetite, you should eat for your child's sake."
'Your'… he said 'your', not 'our'…
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