Day 56 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn.
「Welcome back. You haven’t slept, right? The pres said that you should take a rest today.」
「We are going to wander around the middle floors with several parties, so it will be alright. We’ll make a buck~, and we’ll buy lunch boxes too~.」
「「「Welcome back.」」」
Which reminds me, there was supposed to be a lunchbox sale. Well, I already finished all of the preparations, what’s left is only to fry and cook. It’s fatty, but having high-calorie food is not a problem if they are going to wander around in dungeons. Yes, definitely not an issue. It’s not my fault that it’s so greasy and fatty? In the first place, I announced beforehand that today’s lunch boxes are 『Gyoza and fried rice』. They should be fully resolved for what is awaiting them inside. Those daring and brave challengers. But they are probably going to lose. At the very least limit yourself to 3 boxes?
「I also prepared breakfast. A set meal of fried fish, mushroom rice, and an omelet? Come and get it, it’s cheap? It’s actually not, but if you believe that it’s cheap it most likely will be?」
「「「We’ll have it!」」」
The day started with me obtaining a small fortune. The general store’s shopkeeper won’t be back for a while, so maybe I should check on the old man from the weapon store? I’d like to gather money from him, but I also would like to start mass production of weapons and armor. War or whatever, the soldiers are going to be ripped off by me through the massage chairs scheme, so I’m not letting them die? The enemy is probably thinking of winning through high-grade gear. I can’t think of any paths to victory for them aside from inducing poison and abnormal status effects. I wonder what are they going to do if their high-grade equipment gets destroyed and debuffs won’t work? And how the heck are they planning to get an army through the Fake Dungeon? Well, I have no intentions of letting them pass, and no reason to let them fight a war too. I guess the problem is Royal Girl? She is strong, but her leadership ability poses an even bigger threat. In battle, she would be a troublesome enemy, but in all other aspects, she is pretty frail. Well, she is broken in quite a few ways already, so this shouldn’t be an issue. If the whole army goes 『FEEEVER!』, it’ll be over in an instant.
After dropping by the textile manufactory to check how it’s running and making some small improvements I head to the weapon store.
「Old man, show me the money? Or rather, give me everything you’ve got? To be frank, I’ll take every penny even if you don’t cooperate? Such is fate’s predetermined causality, or to put it in simpler terms, I don’t have money so like hand it over? Even if you don’t like it, I’m taking it anyway? It was destined to be? Sort of? 」
「Don’t you sound worse than a robber now? For now, I prepared the payment, be it in installments or whatever I still have to pay for the building, right? So just take it and go, if plunder is what you came for. Also, I’ll buy the bows you made the other day? Enchanted accessories are also about to sell out.」
The old man is just as old, bald and man as always, but he is properly working as a blacksmith today! Well, a blacksmith busy polishing clubs was an abnormality, to begin with, but this is an unusual sight anyway.
「Wait for a moment. I finally got a supply of decent iron, so I’m buried with orders. Well, I’ll finally get to call myself a blacksmith. 」
His spirit was smoldering all this time. Denied of iron in the frontier he had nothing to do nor any weapons to sell, so he at the very least tried to purchase clubs to provide adventurers with something. And that blacksmith finally got a supply of iron. The smoldering spirit burst into flames.
The old man has the same sour mug for a face as always, but somehow, his eyes look different, and hints of a smile can be seen in his expression. After all, he finally called himself a blacksmith. Since he had no iron he used wood and iron scraps that he was able to get to make usable weapons. It must’ve been vexing, being unable to make anything better than such makeshift weapons, since this also must’ve been a reason for the deaths of adventurers and soldiers. And now he can make weapons. Real weapons. He was finally released from the powerlessness of being unable to do anything.
Even so, he kept his spirit smoldering, even when he was unable to make a single sword, he kept his fire burning, not letting it die even once, not giving up even when he had no metal available at all, and now, he was finally set free, so such a devilish grin is only natural. After all, having all that skill and talent and keeping motivation up this whole time he finally had his long-cherished desire granted.
「Well then, I have weapons too, but you prefer this, right? I have tons of it, and can pick as much as I want for free? Also, if there is anything that you want, then make a list, I’ll look for it.」
He used up almost all of the iron that I’d given him earlier, just how long has he been smithing already? So I left a mountain of iron, silver, copper, and coal. And also some『Gyoza and fried rice set』lunch boxes. He also has apprentices, they are likely to eat 3 boxes each, but 40 boxes should be enough. Plus some already enchanted magic stones and dust, I think he should be able to make good use of them. This old man has Alchemy and his Smithing is Lv Max. Being unable to use them was quite an extreme waste of talent, so he is probably dying to fully utilize them. And this will also help with getting rid of some of my home industry work.
Now that it’s finally time for rest, there is nothing to do.
There are lots of things I’d like to do, but Armored Pres-san left as an observer. In other words, I have no one to do!
Slime-san also left as an instructor. Since they split into two groups, both left with them. Nothing would happen in a dungeon. Since they are already on the middle floors there is nothing to worry about. And the bigger the group gets the stronger they become. If it’s a raid group then even unlikely worst-case scenarios can be ruled out. But the war is near, which means, if Stalker Girl’s clan had time to bring information back, then the enemy also had time to send in someone. Is a beautiful female assassin finally coming? This is getting hot! No, wait, it might be a beautiful female spy as well? I have to prepare a welcome! Or maybe a beautiful female agent? This gets my hopes up! Well, as long as it’s a 『Beautiful Female』, anything goes? Maybe with the exception of Beautiful Female Preacher, I already have enough of that. Beautiful Female Flat Gazers are good in any numbers! I wonder if I can get 100 of them?
Since I promised that I won’t go anywhere too far away on my own, going to the Fake Dungeon would be a problem, and returning to the cave alone isn’t fun. Why am I being treated as some sort of a little child that is bound to get lost on their own? Are they underestimating the homing instinct of Hikikomori plus NEET? I even have 『Map』in my skills, you know?
Sleeping at the inn alone feels lonely, and I’d probably have a hard time trying to fall asleep without any prior exercise. Well, there is an argument to be made that there is no time for sleep left with the exercises, but I’m convinced that a well-regulated lifestyle and sufficient exercise are extremely important! That’s why I’m regularly doing my best at night! I’m a high school boy after all!
「Hmmm. As I thought, catching a Beautiful Female Intelligence Agent would be the best. After all, lacking information can be not only disadvantageous but outright fatal. But what’s more important, it’s a beautiful female agent! A sexy spy! Surely they would rank somewhere in the top of 『What Boys Want To Catch Ranking』. After all, capturing anyone else would lead to getting captured by police. Probably a close contest with a beautiful female thief, but there are plenty of winning chances. Will they come?
「And as such, didn’t any Beautiful Female Agents come? Up to 100 people can come it seems? Or rather, I want them to come? Like, To Ride this Big Wave? Kind of?」
「Guess what? It is because no one can get through that the army decided to hire adventurers? By what means do you think a beautiful female agent would be able to safely get through that dungeon? Any female agent will run away the very moment she hears the order to enter that place. And in the first place, if their arrival was known, Omui-sama would’ve caught them already. As long as that dungeon exists no women will come. Ever! 」
Royal Girl shot down the idea. At this rate, I’ll have to install treasure chests with dresses or jewels to appeal to female customers, or any chance of getting them will be lost. Wait, could it become a popular spot if I went for a reverse approach and the place gave out new clothes for every dissolved piece of clothing? But by the time they leave it they’d probably be in full body fishnet suits. That one is great after all.
「Ah, I almost forgot. This is the replacement for the broken equipment, and this is an apology for the dissolved clothes? Or rather, a sort of compensation dress? Since it can endure combat, a combat outfit? A battle dress, or rather… A lewd dress? Sort of?」
「Is it alright for me to take such splendid equipment?! These items… Are the Kingdom’s national treasure-class? They are worthy of being a king’s personal equipment, even a general wouldn’t be able to wear such gear, can I really take something this amazing? And even such wonderful… Clothes… Lewd? Eh? What is the purpose of them being so transparent and open? Fighting in this is… +DeF and bonus to all resistances! Moreover 20% bonus to PoW, SpE, ViT, and even MiN! This might be above the national treasure class? But, am I going to put this on? It’s see-through here and there? And there are openings in various places? It’s like they are trying to hide, but have no intentions to conceal? If I fought wearing this, it would show… things? It’s very risky with so many see-through and open parts? Am I going to wear this? As I thought, you are planning to FEEVER! me through the night in this lewd dress! I’m going to be FEEVER’d! through this hole! Right? I’m going to have a FEEEVER! night in this shameless revealing lewd see-through dress, going LET’S DANCE! all night long? As I thought, giving me such a lewd dress as a present, your goal must be to FEEVER me! Having FEEEVER night going LET’S DANCE! until the sun comes! Shamelessly revealing this place, and opening that place and UNBELIIIEVABLE! that place! Right?! (Roaring wildly)」
Getting information out of her seems impossible. She tried to protect the frontier despite being unable to go against the kingdom’s orders, and now she is trying to protect the kingdom as well. That’s dangerous, that’s picking a fight with too many people. She might turn everyone around into an enemy, and then there is even a chance of having no allies too. Let’s add accessories to the equipment too. Her strength is quite adequate, as long as she is armed, and with the dress and accessories, she should be able to fight even in ordinary clothes. Since I made it precisely for her size, no one else should be able to use these. And with this design, one word of 『Fever!』is enough to completely break her, so there should be no issue even if she becomes our enemy. Rather, I’d be more worried if she was on our side? Seriously.
The old man blacksmith can deal with the equipment for soldiers. He is excessively skilled. What such a skilled blacksmith was even doing in the frontier, which couldn’t provide him with basic iron until now? I already made weapons and armor for Meripapa-san and Merimeri-san, so let’s leave it here. They seem to be out for inspection, but I’m prohibited from leaving the town, and well, it’s not like any of this requires any special explanation.
I don’t think that this guarantees their safety, but it should cover a bare minimum? Now only classmates and I remain, but… I want loot from dungeons after all. At the moment, items found in dungeons which then were upgraded with mithril are outperforming everything else, many of them have special effects, so there are plenty of useful items among them. And I’d also like some, well, I won’t say a trump card, but at least some unexpected attack or something that can force a stalemate. Tentacles are enough for that, but I can’t use them on middle-aged men! Absolutely no! I mean, there is nothing fun about that, and all of the sensations go to me through feedback. This is a big No for me.
I want information. What did they come up with? No matter how I look at it, they are checkmated, yet they launched an offense? Are they really this stupid, or do they have something on their mind? Are they planning to get through without passing through the Fake Dungeon, or do they have the means to safely get through it? If they have no secret weapon, did they find some sort of backdoor? There is no way they have the leeway to play with a stalemate.
「If the estimate is at least two weeks, then how long is it at most? Well, that is in case they can even make it here. After all, I’m obviously going to hinder them. I’m not going to entertain uninvited guests. Although I will receive them, I will gladly welcome them. After all, coming for killing they can’t complain about the welcome? Obviously.」
That’s right. They are coming to kill, right? Then, a very warm welcome is necessary. Raging fire and scorching heat will provide a jubilant welcome. Trying to kill someone means this kind of thing.
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