Day 61 – Daytime, Fake Dungeon
There once was a dungeon, that was called the most ancient one, feared as the toughest and most unforgiving.
The great dungeon that grew to 100 floors underground, which is believed to be the growth limit.
There, unbeknownst to anyone, resided the dungeon emperor, who stood at the pinnacle of all dungeons, other terrifying dungeon masters even submit in obedience.
And that Dungeon Emperor is now making a souvenir store at the Fake Dungeon? Just what is she doing?
Haruka-kun began construction saying『I mean, there is a large army coming, but the neighboring town barely has any food left, so this is a chance to profit at rip-off prices! I guess?』, and then left with the princess as 『Bodyguard』, dubious how much actual guarding he is intending to do, but Angelica-san ended up remaining to supervise the work of the stone golems.
With blueprints in one hand she is nodding and shaking head, giving orders to the golems. She has completely adapted to this life.
Why are you making the former Dungeon Emperor make stalls in the Fake Dungeon? And apparently, manju sales are yet to open. She refused to sell us any.
And it seems like she was waiting? Was she waiting for us? Why is a vulnerable Haruka-kun tagging along with the princess, who is putting herself in such danger by venturing into the midst of the enemies, and the strongest person is left home to do errands? Well, if Slime-san is with him then it should be able to bouncy beat most of the worst enemies or monsters that human imagination can come up with, or rather, it sounds so safe that that is the only outcome I can even think of, but is that really fine?
According to his plan, he is going to『Loiter around the neighboring town, and bait some bandits? So like, bandit extermination? Kind of?』, what is really amazing about Haruka-kun is that he is able to insist on THIS being a『Plan』. I mean, the plan where everything is under a question isn’t a plan at all, is it? That’s winging it, a plan without a shred of planning.
If they are going to lure the enemy in then we can’t just group up with them, and if they aren’t planning on leaving the neighboring town then there is also no need to rush so much, but we can’t trust the plan of a person who not only doesn’t have a plan, but also doesn’t have the intention of following through with what he planned.
While helping with the construction we send out scouting parties, we should feel more at ease if we get more information.
And since the payment for construction assistance is in manju we absolutely can’t move from here. We are hanging pennants and the dungeon passes. Ah, so he insisted on making our passes into『Staff ID’s』because he is going to sell 『Dungeon Passes』in the souvenir store. So the souvenir store was a planned crime!
And the wicked part of those passes, is that stone golems apparently won’t attack those that bought them for a fixed period of time, which depends on the price of the pass, but since traps are waiting ahead anyway, it still would be impossible to get through. It was an evil business!
And in case anyone makes it through, he put up Rafflesias. It seems he managed to cultivate non-stinky flowers capable of moving with『Rafflesia Flower – Create, Control, Command Rafflesias』. Naturally, they come with the three-set of『Tentacles』『Corrosion』『Equipment Destruction』! This is a dangerous dungeon that maidens shouldn’t step into. But well, there is no chance for them to make it through. He purposefully designed it in a way that temporary non-aggressiveness of stone golems will expire while one is attacked by Rafflesias. What a total scam.
As for pennants, which are genuine souvenirs, there are all sorts, from triangle-shaped to mushroom-shaped ones, but all of them have『Frontier』written on them. Why is a person that doesn’t remember the name of the region making souvenirs? But I don’t think mushroom-shaped pennants are going to sell? I mean, they look sort of obscene?
Moreover, there are even cheap weapons and armor for the people who had their own broken, but a single one has Resistance property attached, he is definitely planning to melt those as well and force another sale! That’s why there are more dissolving liquid and corrosive traps. Plus Rafflesia-san’s Corrosion and Equipment Destroying attacks were added. This might be profitable.
Then, Kakizaki-kun and the others, who were sent on a scouting mission since they would’ve gotten in the way, came back with information from the Stalker Girl’s Clan. Apparently, they are wandering around the town, luring out bandits, and then mug them after bringing them to some deserted location. He is probably claiming that he was attacked, and that is indeed true, but what he is doing is no different from mugging anyway. I mean, no matter how it’s put, he is clearly getting attacked on purpose. And what makes it even worse is that he is using the princess for set ups.
But I don’t quite understand what happened after that? Meeting up with the troops of the Royal Prince they are apparently heading over here, but he seems to be detained to a gorgeous carriage, from which he wanders off as he pleases, but ultimately returns to supposed captivity on his own? While I have tons of ideas why they might’ve wanted him arrested, isn’t it impossible to capture Haruka-kun? Or rather, simply unrealistic? Even if they managed to somehow capture him, he can teleport, so there is no way to restrain him, and judging by the fact that he wanders as he pleases, they don’t have him detained at all, but since he comes back, there seems to be no issue? How come he has two members of the royal family ride horseback, while he is returning in a gorgeous carriage?
「No, I’m telling you, there are sexy female knights in this world! There were two of them even, moreover, they were super assertive, so a carriage journey with them as escorts, okay? Well, I’m riding it alone though? So I didn’t do anything wrong? I decorated the carriage and prepared sweets, but Maid Girl ate them? Yup, right, manju? No, I’m telling you I didn’t do anything wrong? The Sexy Female Knights are escorts? I prettied up the carriage and totally ready for a welcome? Ah, on the way I saw a village-like place, and left to check it out, but it turned out to be abandoned? And then I also went for some bandit-hunting? Yeah, so I’m riding the carriage the most part, but still didn’t get to welcome them?」
According to the princess and her maid, he was arrested on lese majeste. It’s extremely natural that Haruka-kun, who is so desperately apologetic with us, would get arrested for disrespectful behavior. Might as well throw disrespectful economics on the list of his crimes too. But since he is so habitually rude and lacking in common sense, no one is getting angry at him? Of course, we can’t have the Princess apologizing for that too, that would be an actual lese majeste.
And as expected, Haruka-kun is unaware of this. It seems the only thing he understands is that there were two female knights. In the first place, not only is he unaware of lese majeste, he didn’t even notice the existence of the Royal Prince, so he doesn’t think that he was arrested. He seems to need a strict lecture. After all, being clueless about his capture he readily followed two beautiful female knights, he is obviously GUILTY!
And while the royal troops managed to arrest him, they can’t treat him harshly since he is Omui-sama’s guest, and after seeing what happened to their pursuers they are too afraid to try anything, yet the captive in question remodeled his prison into an ultra-gorgeous and comfortable carriage and is enjoying a pleasant and luxurious journey, from time to time leaving to have fun and coming back when he feels like it, and while still in utter confusion over how to handle that, they ended up bringing him with them. Poor things, how they must’ve suffered having a debauched free spirit that cannot be contained by prisons, common sense, or laws of physics in their custody.
And so we head to Murimuri Castle while telling him off. Kakizaki-kun and Oda-kun’s groups were kindly asked to take the rear guard. They are potential lese majeste offenders too, so they have to be separated.
Everyone is carrying『Staff ID』so it should be alright, but people from royal army were gravely silent as they had to pass through lines of saluting stone golems in heavy equipment. The really scary ones are Rafflesias, but they are pitiful to look at as they are, so let’s not scare them any further. Female Knights are especially in danger. Those monsters are a real threat!
Enduring the nervousness for a long while, the people from the royal army were visibly relieved when the exit from the Fake Dungeon finally came into sight. But actually, a misstep here will send you back to the entrance through a slide, so this is not a place to relax, but let’s keep quiet, they are pitiful enough as they are. This trap is way too wicked after all. It’s aimed right at the timing when everyone would drop their guard in relief! He is clearly intending to break the spirit.
A messenger was sent to Murimuri castle so Omui-sama came to greet the Royal Prince. He is welcoming the visitor with an orderly formation.
Now how do we explain this captive to Omui-sama? Sadly, there is no one to plead his innocence, I mean, he is disrespectful, insolent, a habitual miscreant? Well, if he was disrespectful to the Royal Prince on the first meeting, then what about Omui-sama, to whom he is permanently disrespectful, yet he shows no care, and even the Princess… THAT’S FAR WORSE THAN LESE MAJESTE!! First the half-naked hooray and then he even pressed that lewd dress onto her, there is a whole load of atrocious crimes!
And while I thought that.
「I’m baack~, for some reason they brought us right back, just what did I leave for? I only managed to make preliminary preparations to set up a souvenir stall, but it was already time to return? Kind of? Eh? Meripapa-san, what are you doing? Did you come to apologize, finally getting kicked out by Murimuri-san? Even kobolds wouldn’t get involved in a marital quarrel, but the bitches might eat that up? Wanna borrow them? They’ll tear apart literally anything? That’s really painful? Kind of?」
Even if in name only, that thing was still a jail, although it couldn’t be seen that way no matter how hard anyone tried, but the prisoner just casually opened the door and walked out.
Even Omui-sama is laughing. The Royal Prince and the people from the royal army are looking at Haruka-kun that is calmly walking before them in blank amazement. This is refreshing, a fresh normal reaction that cannot be seen from those living in the frontier anymore. I feel like this is the first time in a long while that I saw a normal reaction.
The people of the frontier had too much contact with this, and by now their perception is completely warped, so such a reaction feels incredibly fresh. I mean, even if their lord is acting servilely or the princess is dressed in an outrageous lewd outfit 『Oh, they are at it again~』is the biggest reaction they’ll give. Recently, even when the princess is getting bullied, all they do is smile, they were corrupted too much.
Occasionally telling him off wouldn’t hurt, but I don’t think it would give any result. After all, even with us lecturing him every day he is still acting the same as usual, and finally got himself arrested on lese majeste. Even though everyone was telling him that it’s strange that he wasn’t arrested yet, he got himself caught, walked out as if nothing happened, and is now chatting with the count while completely ignoring the Royal Prince and his entourage.
And the princess, who by now was also poisoned by this, is tagging along as if it’s normal. Why does the supposed bodyguard have the person he is supposed to be guarding as his attendant!?
Well, while complaining, we are still following him too. And all together flock into the castle.
I see… So in the end, he really went only to set up a souvenir store!
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