Chapter 247: Although the War of the Bucket was won, the Bucket was confiscated
12-15 minutes 21.07.2022
Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”
Day 62 – Morning, Murimuri Castle
After I prevailed in the War of the Bucket (Lotion Pool), the morning greeted me with a usual sermon. Yeah, a great Flat Gaze today too.
Now, despite the perfect Flat Gaze conditions today, I had to see a middle-aged man. Well, it’s Meripapa-san’s aide who came to relay a message. The contents of which is that there is no message, in other words, the discussion is still continuing.
The middle-aged men seem to be still talking in the conference room. Do nobles and royalty like conference rooms that much?… Are they going to live there? Well, if they like it so much, then I don’t care how long they spend on conferences there, as long as they give the conclusion beforehand? If they just announce what they agreed on ahead of time, then they are free to conference there for the rest of eternity? Yeah, what are they gonna do?
For now, it seems that at the very least they concluded that no action will be taken today. Repeat the process ten times and the enemy forces will be here even if no conclusion is reached. Then there will be no point to those talks.
The girls also gathered and are having a discussion of their own. Everyone seems to really like having those big meetings, but for some reason, it feels like I’m never called for those talks?
「There is plenty of unexplored dungeons nearby, so how about exploration and training at the same time?」
「「「Agreed~!」」」
Well, there is nothing to do at Murimuri Castle, and no matter how many dungeon items we find, it’s never enough.
「Haruka-kun, you are staying home, okay? Omui-sama seems to have something to talk about, and the princess was looking for you too, so you are on home duty.」
「Eeh, home sitting! So I’m a jobless ostracized outcast loner NEET who is getting left out of dungeon groups? Well, it sort of matches the titles, but this in turn makes the emotional damage even greater? Kind of?」
Indeed, there is nothing to use money on in Murimuri Castle. Even so, I’d like to hit some profitable dungeon with nice loot, which would also help with Slime-san’s food expenses, and what’s most important, I want nothing to do with the middle-aged men’s talks!
That’s right, at this very moment, Murimuri Castle has the highest middle-aged men concentration that was ever observed. Every room is packed with middle-aged men. Murimuri castle is currently boasting such a high Middle-Aged Men Ratio that it’s threatening to turn into Middle-Aged Men Castle. Yeah, if it wasn’t for the Royal Girl, Sexy Female Knights, and some others, the castle would have already been burning… I mean, I even finished all of the preparations for that?
「The lord specifically asked for you to stay, so you have to remain. You are on home duty, but since it’s a castle, you don’t have to do anything?」
I wonder what Royal Girl wants? Is this another invite for a bandit hunt? That’s pretty bothersome, but brings a bit of coin. However, dungeons are far better. I mean, bandits are broke as heck. Both their items and weapons are shabby, and those middle-aged men can’t even be turned into magic stones, totally useless! They don’t even have a single treasure chest between them, dungeons are much better.
「We are starting from the first floors, so we won’t earn much either~, even though I want to make up for the money I spend to complete Frontier T-shirts collection~.」
Looks like we had a Frontier Series’s fan. Many thanks.
「We are hitting three nearby places with two parties for each, so I guess we should be able to get to the middle floors or so? Well, the main focus is practice anyway.」
They must be trying to test out new equipment and review formations. Each party leader received a powerful weapon, but as a result, they now have to reconsider their tactics.
Especially the Pres’『Chain Whip of Savage Lightning 』, being such a peculiar weapon it complicated coordination quite a bit. I also gave『Demon God’s Zweihander』to all five of the idiots, but new weapons change nothing for them. In the first place, they might not even be aware of how swords are supposed to be used. Well, those are great swords of more than 2 meters in length, I doubt they’d throw them. They weigh a lot too.
「We will be back by evening, so if you have time tomorrow, please check for hidden rooms? Well, can’t expect much from middle floors, but ignoring them is kind of a waste.」
Indeed, there is a deficit of equippable gloves, boots, cloaks, and hats, so even items from middle floors could be of use. Moreover, a single item can influence a war situation. If considering strengthening and safety then dungeons should have the highest priority.
With those words they left while waving their hands, one after another they kept going『I’ll be off』so I kept replying with『Take care?』every time, after which they set out beaming with smiles? What’s up with that?
「And thus, since there is nothing to do, how about we use the giant bucket and… Nevermind, I didn’t say anything. No, you got me wrong? I mean like, for laundry or something? Yeah, the weather is so nice today~~~~ It’s cloudy though? How should I put it, one can wash a lot of clothes at once with such a big bucket? Eh! Right, I don’t have any clothes apart from the Villager Set. Hmm, well, there’s that? Kind of?」
Stared, scolded, and the bucket confiscated! My slimy and slippery lotion life was stolen from me. I made four of those, but the first one was stolen from me. Even so, it can be said that it was worth it, the wild rampage in the slippery lotion with the wet transparent swimsuit was well worth it! The transparent slimy substance covering her delicate pure white skin and the dream-filled mounds filled me with a certain something, getting the highschool boy part excited, setting the stage for a very crazy experience. The real fantasy adventure was there all along. I greatly enjoyed it.
Since continuation seems out of question I thought I’d continue with my side job, but Maid Girl showed up, of course, prepared for a possible emergency, she is wearing the generously enchanted lewd maid uniform! This see-through maid uniform with numerous gaps and openings should have a great affinity with lotion too, but I can sense that a certain someone pulled out a morning star behind me, so let’s forget about it. Yeah, please don’t swing the morning star indoors? Outdoors is scary enough, so I’ll be happy if you stop swinging it altogether? Looks like Armored Pres really likes the morning star, despite being the Genius Swordsman. At this rate she might get a skill for it soon.
「Haruka-sama, the Princess is calling for you. Could I kindly ask you to accompany me? I’ll stab you if you refuse, it’s lese majeste.」
「No… I mean, it’s not that I mind, but at the point where you are so eager to stab me for refusal, that’s not asking anymore, is it? Since there are only two options, coming or getting stabbed, that’s not actually a question? Wouldn’t a simple『Come or I’ll stab you』be better then? Well, it’s not really better, but don’t think that I’m following only because of the lewd uniform! Kind of? 」
I tried to show a bit of a dere side. Going tsun could lead to getting tsun (stabbed) with a sword, so let’s just follow her for now. And that’s because the true magnificence of this lewd maid uniform lies in the view from behind!
Gracefully dodging the iron ball I tumble after the lewd maid uniform, or rather, Maid Girl. Dancing in a corridor with a flurry of morning star swings sounds pretty hazardous, but it seems to be set to the safe mode, which means it’s fine to relax since the only person who might get hit by it is me. So I’m the only person that’s in danger and absolutely can’t afford to relax!
Maid Girl is glaring at me. That’s probably her wanting to say that I should be polite. Well, in modern society even ordinary people receive a proper education, so speaking formally is not a problem at all. This maid is such a worrywart.
「Heeding Your Royal Girliness-sama’s summons I hast cometh, I was extremely duper delighted by the call and made my utmostest hastiness to arrive by your side? And just for you, we have a special offer today -『The Frontier Speciality – Frontier Wooden Sword』, order one in the next three seconds and receive one for free? Like, dual wielding style? Kind of?」
Sold. Profits made. But for some reason I’m still getting stares? No, look, Royal Girl is happy with this too? In truth, she was late, and three seconds already passed, but I gave her another one anyway? Where would you find a more considerate rip-off? I don’t get them.
「Haruka-sama, are you intending to have yourself handed over to the nobles’ forces? Why are you going so far for the frontier’s sake as to even sacrifice yourself? This is an issue that should be handled by royalty. If it were His Excellency or I that would’ve been one thing, but you bear no fault or responsibility for this. Please reconsider.」
Eehm, is this about the peddling journey to the nobles’ army? But she herself bought a wooden sword, if she won’t allow the nobles to get ripped off that would be a tyrannous abuse of royal authority and noble discrimination. Even though upholding the law equally for everyone is a statesman duty, what a bother.
「What do you want to do though? The middle-aged excellency is still planning to negotiate with the nobles’ army. If you go there too, you’ll have two heirs to the throne lined up before the enemies? Is this really the time to worry about me? He seems to want to settle things by talking it out, do you think it’s possible? Since you are telling me not to come, I don’t think you do. I have no idea if you are trying to enter the enemy camp to get the first prince or maybe chop some noble heads, but how is it any different from going to your death like you were trying to do earlier? And I’m sure you noticed that killing the first prince or the great nobles won’t change the situation? If that’s not trying to atone with your death, then what is that? Dying is a waste, pointless, irresponsible, and useless?」
「But… But… But even so, I’m a princess and part of the royal family. Even if it’s useless, even if it’s pointless, as long as there is at least a shadow of a chance, staking my life on it is my responsibility and my duty. Even if it ends up being a waste, even if it’s pointless, irresponsible, and useless, there is no way I can send you, who has nothing to do with this, into enemy territory, while I’m sitting it out, neglecting my duty as royalty! That would be not only irresponsible but would put a stain on the Royal Family’s pride. A royal family that can’t even stick to their pride is what is actually pointless.」
Leaving Royal Girl to Maid Girl I leave the room. She is in no condition for discussion right now. No matter how much pride or honor one has, accumulates, or stockpiles, there is no way they can remain calm when preparing for death. She may be Royal Girl, or the Knight Princess, or the Sword Princess, or Half-Naked Hooray Girl, there is no way an 18 year old girl wouldn’t be afraid of heading to her death! Even so, she won’t stop, she will keep pressing on.
In the end that’s how Royal Girl is, even that middle-aged Royal Prince is still putting his life on the line, tossing about in agony, struggling unsightly, with no regards to how ugly or disgraceful it gets, trying to find a way to fix things. He doesn’t even realize that the only value his head now has is none at all. Pathetic royalty? Miserable royal family? That’s exactly right. Incompetent royal family that has nothing going for them but their pride. But with nothing but that pride alone they are desperately struggling, dragging themselves through the mud if needed. A proud royal family. That’s why Meripapa-san is considering taking action too. Even if the frontier’s army, that should be defending the frontier, would do nothing but raise the curtain for mayhem by taking action, he is going to fight for the royal family. Even if it means ruin for the frontier, he isn’t going to consider alternatives.
That’s why they can’t finish their talks. After all, the solution doesn’t exist? I mean, the situation they are discussing right now might seem like the worst, but it’s about to get way worse.
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