Day 66 – Daytime, Souvenir Store, Orphanage Branch
The merchandise is overflowing in the workroom of the Souvenir Store, swirling in complex spirals, like what is this anymore? DNA? NBA? Is how many goods are being produced while circling around before being dunked into the gradually growing mountain of finished goods. It was said since ancient times that the one who masters Rebound masters the Diet, and as I thought, it’s strange that no matter how many manju I make it’s never enough, it turns out, half of them were bought by the girls. They must’ve seen the orphans eat manu that I provided to supplement for nutrition, and wanted to have some too. As expected there was no way they could take them away from the children, so they had to buy them for themselves. Unable to master the rebound it seems they are bound to rebounds from Captain Billy’s alley-oops. Thanks for the patronage?
「Onii-chan, 『Almost out of pennants, no need for mushroom-shaped ones.』」
It’s Messenger Orphan Girl. After being thanked and patted on the head she went back to the store with a smile. Frontier series is in the decisive lead, but pennants are selling surprisingly well too. After all, they aren’t a staple souvenir for nothing! But mushroom-shaped ones aren’t selling that much? Well, 『Pennant』 points to a triangular pennant, so mushroom-shaped ones might be considered unorthodox. Yeah, I also was somewhat getting the feeling that something is off from the moment I made them? I wonder why?
However, the original plan was to plunder money from the nobles and the Merchant Confederation, infinitely resupplying and causing them huge losses, but for some reason sales for the general population are getting super hectic!
After providing the uniform for the orphans and then the girls it seems that the 『Women Clothes Boom』 has began in the Capital. Although of simple design but mass produced one-pieces, long skirts, blouses, vests, jackets, and also not particularly popular in the Frontier boleros, are selling like crazy. Skirts is a story of their own too. Making some balloon-type ones to go along with boleros a short while ago, I now have to deal with non-stop flow of additional orders. The capital seems to have both riches and abundance, but isn’t well provided with commodities, that’s why everything I make is being sold instantly.
At the moment the bitches are drafting new designs for the aunties of the capital, but no matter how many new products we dish out they all get sold out. The bitches’ designs can’t keep up with ultra high speed manufacturing and aunties power.
Male customers are doing their best too, picking up lots of clothing and heading to the register. A long line of customers has formed at the register for male clothing by now.
Naturally, if the uniform of the girl at the register today appears like the one from Anna Miller’s, it absolutely wouldn’t not be not imagination?
I also have the nobles buying dresses that will be immediately ruined at super rip-off prices through auctioning, so bankruptcy shouldn’t be that far for them. They turned out to be super idiots who’d raise the price on their own just to show off.
Clothes, underwear, accessories, furniture, and works of art, the more pretentious it looks the better it sells.
The price of one piece of clothing at the super rip-off price would’ve easily been enough to feed the orphans with delicious food for a mouth. The super rip-off price of one gaudy work of art would’ve been enough to buy a mountain of blankets. And they are selling like hot cakes.
So I’m going to rip all of it back. I’m collecting everything they’ve stolen with a hyper interest rate of 10000% and returning it to the orphans, okay? The hyper rip-off with ultra high multiplicative interest rate for the suffering of the orphans included. Those idiots think that if other nobles bought something they have to follow suit or it will be their loss, so they keep buying and buying. They believe that the more they buy and the more they pay the greater they are.
That’s why jewelry is also selling at rip-off prices, the higher the price the better it goes. As a test I tried polishing some random stone I picked up in the neighborhood and presenting it as 『Philosopher’s Stone』in an ultra expensive limited sale and it was bought it in instant. [1]
At this rate there is no need to even do anything, they are steering straight towards hell on their own?
「Well then, I’m off to resupply~, I restocked the inventory, so work hard like work-horses with ONE MORE SET in mind? By the way, we have leotards, but serving customers in leotards sounds super shady and might hey hey ho us into Law Regulating Adult Entertainment Business, anyway, I’m sort of getting Yosaku so I’ll be off? Well, I already memorized my way around the palace, so even if I take a detour to play for a bit I’ll still be right back, so don’t look for me? Sort of?」 [2]
「「「Enough of that, just go already! And come back asap! We are busy, there aren’t enough merchandise, there is no time for hey hey ho! HURRY!」」」
Harry? Hurry and rip ‘em off? You are a magnate, Harry? Well, I have no objections to high-speed ripping off, but Harry Rippoffer going Hey Hey Ho in a world of magic does not not give me a certain weird impression of giving a certain strange strange impression? But they are glaring at me now, so let’s not mention it. I went to restock over several dozen times, and then just keep buying the stuff and carrying it back? Even though leaving it here would’ve spared everyone a lot of trouble.
Going to the Royal Palace’s underground storage, I find that the layout has changed? What time is it already?
「Aah, so you changed the location of the storage again? If you are going to change the location, at least give me a word when you visit the store, it will spare me the trouble during resupplying, such insensitive walking wallets. But new supplies are delivered from the ships, so there is just one step left until the objective is reached? The road to ripping off starts with one step? And then go ripping and ripping and ripping off at every step? Sound sort of noisy, but since it’s profitable it’s fine, I guess?」
(Nod-nod)
She isn’t wearing armor, so why stick to answering in Slime-san’s way?
Eerm, let’s see, flour? Oil? Oh, spinach has arrived! In contrast, just what is my 『Report・Inform・Consult』 doing? [3] I didn’t have a single contact, report, or consultation until now, I wonder if it’s doing alright? Well, no news is good news? And if there is a message it’s a letter of misfortune? [4] But even if you ask a loner to send it to 100 other people there is no chance a loner can do that, but at the same time, bringing misfortune to someone with Luk MaX (Limit Break) sounds like quite a tall task, will it be alright? Well, let’s think about it after I get one? I mean, forget letters of misfortune, I’m not getting any letters or mail at all? Where should I file a report to change address to another world? Although, I do feel like I won’t get any correspondence even if I were to change address, so perhaps not changing it will hurt less (emotionally).
Moving swiftly I stash goods into the item bag. This world doesn’t have a proper census system established so the exact population numbers are unknown, but by any estimate, the Capital has at least some few tens of thousands living in it. In other words, at the bare minimum, provisions for several dozen thousands people are being sent in daily. Which I am taking. In addition, Cash for purchasing military equipment and magic stones is also being sent, which I’m also taking. By now the damage should be nothing to sneeze at. So they will definitely take measures, there is no way they won’t do anything.
I wonder what they are going to do? Traps won’t be activated due to 『Trap Ring』effect, so I wouldn’t even be able to tell if there were any in the first place. The patrols can’t enter because of the Kingdom’s 『Ultimate Lock』, that being the case, I think it’s about time for a beautiful female assassin to make an appearance? Diligently resupplying I excitedly head back… Ah, there is paralyzing poison in the fish, so that’s how they were planning to catch me. Alright, let’s generously donate this to pitiful nobles.
The noble district is in an uproar.
「I’m back~, I’ve got a whole lot, so today we are having pasta with pig-like something’s meat and spinach? Boiled spinach seasoned with soy sauce is also currently in research? Speaking of spinach, isn’t that what that Paipopaipo-paiponoshūringan? Like Shūringanno-gūrindai Gūrindaino-ponpokopīno-ponpokonāno? Sort of? Chōkyūmeino-chōsuke was eating to buff? Isn’t that what I got?」 [5]
「「「Too long! And from the middle of it Jugemu-san was getting summoned to this world! We will eat spinach, but stop with Paipopaipo! Also, that’s Popeye! 」」」
But that was only the second half. They don’t seem to understand the importance of someone’s name, so I thought I’d give them a lecture but they are staring at me super hard, so let’s not? I wonder why they are so mad? Jugemu-san must remind highschool girls of troubles emerging from complicated human relations, like failing to enter the name into the phonebook memory. Instead of increasing the max number of entries, they should revise char limit, I’m sure Jugemu-sans from all over the country are greatly troubled by it.
（He doesn’t remember Popeye, but he remembers Jugemu-san’s full name!）
（How come he was able to memorize that, but can’t remember our names!）
（Actually, wouldn’t the memory required to register Jugemu-san’s be enough for all of our names?）
Looks like Jugemu-san was a taboo for the girls after all. They are whispering to each other, and it seems they are shocked that names couldn’t be fully registered. Due to the negligence of mobile phone manufacturers, it’s impossible to make calls in another world, developing into a base station problem. Well, I didn’t have a mobile phone, so I had no idea though. I mean, I’m a loner after all?
They’ve been endlessly changing the position of the storage, so most likely there is a trap somewhere. Although they should’ve noticed that traps aren’t going to work from the fact that I carried off their treasured artifact『Everlasting Trap』without getting caught in any traps. Physical traps that don’t involve any magic can be dangerous, but in that case I’ll notice them with 『Trap Sense』?
But they surely have something prepared.
Either some sort of magic tool from deep reserves or an ace fighter will pop up. If it’s a magic tool then I can just take it home, and if it’s an ace I can just cut them down, so my countermeasures are perfect. In that case, the last option that’s left is Beautiful Female Assassin! I won’t allow anything else. Triggering a dangerous adult trap I’ll be attacked by a full storehouse of beautiful female assassins and locked in a tight grapple, assaulting and getting assaulted, stripping and being stripped, can’t wait to have a taste of that thrilling trap! I won’t forgive them if it’s something else! Should I visit the place again? I wonder if they are ready?
「Haruka-sama. We received a message from the Captain of the Second Division Terrysel,
『Magic Swordsman Wismregzero, known as the hidden blade of the Merchant Confederation, has entered the Royal Palace. Please be careful』.」
「Wha-whaat. …So, do we report this Pretty Women Rerorero McKenzie [6] out of public safety concerns? Or maybe it’s better to report him as a molester? But even if we tried to report him to the Second Division, it was the Second Division that reported him to us to begin with. Certainly, I have no intentions of falling behind some Pretty Women Rerorero McKenzie-san, but one first has to prepare some pretty women, otherwise there is no chance to display my rerorero? For quite some time already? Almost like forever?」
The Confederation finally acted. But I also can’t be outdone in reroreroing beauties. Expecting something like this to happen, last night, like every night before that, I’ve been practicing with the Armored Pres-san, exposing her beautiful smooth skin showing through the chemise, I’ll rerorero every inch of her body, starting from the tips of her toes and reroreroing my way upwards, licking her thighs and then sticking my tongue into the Paradise that I’ve finally reached… Ah—
「BUUEUEUBUNUUh! Phew, I already posted that morning stars are forbidden, didn’t I? Eh? Sickle and chain! An unexpected great chain and sickle! Where did you get that? A noble came to sell this? Why would a noble of this kingdom be using a sickle and chain in his knight service? You drove a hard bargain and bought it cheaply even though it’s an enchanted weapon? Fufufu, ain’t you a villain too~, or rather, why are you buying up items only to equip them yourself! Ah, no, nevermind, I’m sorry. I mean, it was Rerorero, Rero-Rero-Rero-Rero Yodel-La-Hee-Hee? I’m going to become a Yodel Master! Kind of? No, I won’t, actually, but it seems there is a battle that I cannot lose awaiting me there?」
「Where did that McKenzie-san come from! Why did the hidden blade of the Confederation come to have a licking competition? It’s Magic Swordsman, Wismregzero, and he is not licking any beauties, he is a monster of the Confederation.」
Since he was sent in to prevent further losses, then he has some sort of detection skills? And he uses magic swords, the swordsman masterfully utilizing numerous magic swords, and his name is McKenzie! His hobby is licking pretty ladies, which sounds like a very cultured pastime, so he does sound like someone I might get along with, but it doesn’t seem like he has any intention of making friends? Well, it’s probably another middle-aged man so I’m not interested in getting buddy-buddy with him either? I mean, a beauties-licking old man should be burned at top priority. I’m absolutely not yielding on licking beauties! That’s mine!
And there is no avoiding that encounter.
I mean, it’s about time for restocking? Yeah, the flour is about to be sold out again? They again bought it and went back with it.
[TL Notes:
Puns, many puns.
Also, the aristocratic district was changed to the noble district.
[1] There is actually a pun between the suggested reading and how it’s written. It’s written as 賢者の石 (kenja no ishi) – philosopher’s stone, but furigana suggests きんじょの石 (kinjo no ishi) – (lit) neighborhood stone
[2] Yosaku – popular song by Saburō Kitajima from 1978. The title refers to a man and his wife labouring away. Almost half of the spare lyrics is onomatopoeic (hei, hei, ho….ton, ton, ton) as Yosaku cuts away at the tree. And if anyone wonders why Haruka even went with this hei hei ho, I would guess it’s because Law Regulating Adult Entertainment Business (Fūeihō) sounds similar so they roll well together, “Fu Ey Ho Hey Hey Ho”, while it also sounds like a motivational shout.
[3] Spinach (ほうれん草) is read hourensou, just like his skill, Report・Inform・Consult (報連相)
[4] Subtype of Chain Letter, basically the grandparent of those idiotic comments you might’ve seen on social media “copy paste this comments under 20 videos or your XXX will YYY”
[5] No, that’s not just random words. It’s “a real name” as real as names from fictional stories can be. Jugemu – a Japanese folktale and is one of the most famous stories in rakugo, a form of Japanese spoken entertainment. It has a simple storyline, with the most humorous part being the repetition of a ridiculously long name. It is often used in training sessions for rakugo entertainers. By the way, the full name itself is “Jugemu-jugemu Gokōnosurikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūnerutokoroni-sumutokoro Yaburakōjino-burakōji Paipopaipo-paiponoshūringan Shūringanno-gūrindai Gūrindaino-ponpokopīno-ponpokonāno Chōkyūmeino-chōsuke”
[6] McKenzie is a pun on Magic Swordsman, which in Japanese is Makenshi (魔剣士).
Rerorero is an onomatopoeia for licking sound. So it’s basically Pretty-Women-Licking McKenzie. I was thinking of using that, but considering that we will be stuck with that name for a while, and how grossed out I felt just by typing the next iteration of it (Pretty-Women-Licking Middle-Aged Man), I decided to go with rerorero.
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