The Return of the Condor Heroes

Chapter 9 – Avoiding the enemy by all means, Part 4

Lu Wushuang’s heart shook, “That’s definitely my Ancient Tomb sect’s kung fu, how does he know it?” She then said, “A stance of “The West Offers the Heart” (Xi Shi Peng Xin).”

Yang Guo said, “Alright!” His left fist came out, and landed on his opponent’s chest. The beggar who was struck in the chest felt a strong force pushing him forward; he couldn’t stop himself from flying away about a ten feet. He struggled to stay on his feet but the area of his chest where he was struck was not in pain, it was if someone had carried him and placed him further away. The other two beggars dashed up.

Yang Guo called out urgently, “Wifey, I don’t know how to deal with them, teach me.”

Lu Wushuang said, “The Illustrious Gentlemen Pushes Out” (zhao jun chu sai), “The Numb Nun Offers Life” (ma gu xian shou).”

Yang Guo’s left hand rose and slanted, the fingers on his right hand stretched out, his form was in the position of strumming a zither, his five fingers flicked out at the beggar on the right, this was “The Illustrious Gentlemen Pushes Out”. He immediately moved across and kicked the beggar on the left, his fists came together and pushed upwards, a clashing sound was heard as his fists struck the opponent’s jaw. He then called out, “This is “The Numb Nun Offers Life”, isn’t it?” He didn’t want to hurt anyone so he didn’t put any strength behind his attacks.

The four stances he used were all exquisite stances of the Ancient Tomb’s “Beauty Fist Techniques”. Ever since Lin Chaoying founded the Ancient Tomb sect, all the arts were passed on to females, never males. Lin Chaoying’s “Beauty Fist Technique” took the names of famous beauties for the name of its stances. When it is used it is elegant, graceful and enchanting, yet it was deadly at the same time. Yang Guo learned martial arts from Xiao Longnu so of course he learned this set of fist techniques. He felt that although it was a refined set of skills, its nature meant that when a man practiced it, it wasn’t appealing. When he was practicing he inadvertently changed its soft nature to hard and yang; its changes became swift and stylish, though the nature of it was slightly different, the technique of this set of fists remained intact.

The three beggars were all struck by the stances without knowing what happened but they didn’t feel any pain from the stances. They weren’t in awe of Yang Guo’s skills; they whistled and attacked all at once. Yang Guo dodged to the east and darted to the west, he called out, “Wifey, it looks like it’s becoming desperately serious; you are going to be a widow today!”

Lu Wushuang scoffed and said, “Heaven’s Grandson Weaves Cotton”! (tian sun zhi mian).

Yang Guo’s right hand wiped his left, his left pushed the right, and his stance resembled a loom weaving cloth, one scatter one push; his hands struck the beggars on the shoulders again.

Lu Wushuang called out again, ““The Civil Gentlemen as a Stove” (wen jun dang lu), “The Concubine is Drunk” (gui fei zui jiu)!”

Yang Guo raised his hand as if he was pouring wine and cut down on the impulsive beggar’s forehead and caught his body; he twisted him around and flung him out to the right, his shoulder hitting another beggar squarely in the chest. The three beggars were alarmed and angry, the three of them used the kung fu they had obtained throughout their lives, yet now they couldn’t even touch this kid’s clothes. The boy looked and his hand waved out, whoever he wanted to hit he struck; although it wasn’t painful when they were hit, it was extremely weird.

Lu Wushuang called out three stances in a row, “‘Foolish Jade Blows the Flute’ (nong yu chui xiao), ‘The Descending Goddess Encroaches the Wave’ (luo shen ling bo), ‘Enticing Shoot Holding Fist’ (gou yi wo quan).” Yang Guo did as he was told. Lu Wushuang was in awe, she deliberately gave him a hard stance, as Yang Guo was throwing out his fist, she immediately called out, “‘Ruling Sky Hangs’ (ze tian chui).” According to his form at the moment, it was impossible to use this stance, but because Yang Guo’s internal energy was much higher than the enemy’s, he actually managed it; his body went forward, his palms hanging down. The three beggars saw that his chest was exposed and there was a weakness, they were delighted and dashed forward, but they didn’t know that his internal energy would hold them back and force them to retreat a few steps.

Lu Wushuang was pleasantly surprised and called out, “‘One Laugh Overturns the Country’ (yi xiao qing guo)!” This was a stance that she had just invented. A captivating beauty could overturn cities and countries with a smile, but how could this be used to fight with others?

Yang Guo was startled; he immediately laughed out loud, “Ha-ha-ha-ha, hei-hei-hei-hei, hu-hu-he-he”, and circulated the profound internal energy of the “Nine Yin Manual”. Although he hadn’t refined this internal energy to a good level that could be used to fight off skilled fighters, the three band five beggars were just run of the mill fighters. When they heard this strange laugh, they couldn’t stop their heads from shaking and eyes from being dazzled; their bodies shook a few times and they fell down onto the ground. Every person has a moon shaped small object in their ear which controls the person’s balance, if this object is forced to shake, headaches and feeling light headed will be unavoidable. Eventually they won’t be able to stand upright. Yang Guo’s laugh was created by his strong internal energy, everyone’s eardrums were being shaken continuously, and it was like the earth and sky were flipping over. Lu Wushuang felt faint and urgently grabbed onto the carriage to support herself. Calls of ‘ai ya’ and thudding noises all sounded together, the well wishers of the wedding, the bride and groom all fell onto the ground.

Yang Guo’s laughter stopped, the three beggars got up, their faces grey and they ran away without turning their heads back. The rest of the party rested for half an hour and then carried the sedan chair on, now they treated Yang Guo’s order as words from the gods, they didn’t dare to revolt.

At ‘er geng shi fen’ (I assume its nine o’clock in the evening) they reached a town and Yang Guo let the people go. The people knew that they would be detained after being captured by this bandit, and would most likely suffer his wrath. How were they to know that this bandit really wanted to have a laugh and pretend to be a newly wed? They were surprised and all thanked and expressed gratitude to Yang Guo. The nanny was much more vocal and said, “Da Wang and his wife would stay together for hundred of years until both of you are old with white hair. You are going to have many little ‘Da Wangs’.” This made Yang Guo laugh; Lu Wushuang was embarrassed and angry with this.

Yang Guo and Lu Wushuang found an inn and called for some rice and other dishes. They were about to eat when they saw someone enter and after seeing the two of them, immediately turned around and walked away. Yang Guo knew something was wrong and went over to the entrance and saw two people standing in a pavilion. It was the two Taoists who fought with Lu Wushuang at Wolf Valley, Shen Zhifan and Ji Qingxu. The two of them took out their long swords and darted forward.

Yang Guo thought, “Why are you two trying to make trouble for me? Are you looking for pain?”

The two approached but slanted their body and brushed past him; they hurried into the hall and headed for Lu Wushuang. At this time, the ringing of a bell was suddenly heard, ‘ding ling’ ‘ding ling’.

By the time the ringing sounds were in their ears, the source had arrived. The two Taoists’ faces changed and they glanced at each other. They darted to the first room of the western wing and closed the door, and didn’t come out again.

Yang Guo thought, “Rotten Taoists, you’ve probably tasted Li Mochou’s pain before, that’s why you’re acting like this.”

Lu Wushuang quietly said, “My master is near, Sha Dan, what should we do?”

Yang Guo said, “What shall we do? Let’s run!” As soon as he stretched out his hand to help her up, the ringing sound had arrived at the entrance of the inn. They heard Li Mochou say, “Guard the roof.”

They then heard the waiter say, “Angelic priestess, old senior’s room, ai ya, I …” A thudding sound was heard as he landed on the floor, there wasn’t another sound. He didn’t know that Li Mochou hated people who mentioned the word ‘old’. What about when someone called her ‘old senior’? The fly whisk was waved and robbed the old waiter of his life. She asked another waiter, “There’s a lame girl here, where is she?” That waiter was already scared out of his wits, he couldn’t reply and just said, “I…I…” Li Mochou kicked him away with her left foot; her right foot kicked open the door of the first room of the western wing. She went in and took a look; it was where the Taoists Shen and Ji were staying.

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