Malachi had spent the night with Ravina, and she was highly stressed, barely getting any sleep. She kept waking up with nightmares, and when it persisted, he decided to bring her sister, perhaps. It was early morning, and Ravina had still not gotten good sleep, and she kept tossing and turning. Hopefully, Darcy would be awake now and he needed to return briefly to the kingdom and tell Saul to take over for a while.
He left the room and walked down the long corridors of Ares's mansion, wondering where he could find Darcy. He focused his senses, hoping to get a hint when he suddenly heard voices outside. He walked further and looked out one of the large windows in the hall that showed the garden.
Darcy and Ares sat on a bench and Malachi was glad he found her quickly. As he hurried to find a way out, his footsteps slowed when he heard Ares speak.
"Can I ask what happened?" He heard Ares ask. "I can tell you haven't told Ravina anything."
What did she not tell Ravina? Malachi strained his ears.
Ares watched Darcy as her gaze dropped to her hands. "It is all in the past." She said.
"I wish it was that simple." He replied. "But we carry our past. Our memories, and our scars, are part of who we are. Isn't that why you chose Darcy? The part of yourself you remember."
She frowned and rubbed one of her fingers. "Well, Darcy is someone whose life started with confusion, no memories and she had no time to figure out her past because her future was in jeopardy. She found herself in the most frightening world a young woman could find herself in. I didn't even know where to run or to whom. Who would even miss me or save me?"
Ares felt his heartbeat accelerate as he listened. "The other girls told me what would happen to us. I tried to accept it, but it wasn't acceptable." She shook her head.
"Where were you?" Ares asked.
She turned to him, her eyes glistening. "In the enemy's den."
Malachi, who stood in a corner of the hall, stiffened. She was… taken in as a breeder.
No! That was why she had asked him.
No!
He could barely breathe for a moment, his heart pounding in his ears. He tried to focus as she began to speak again.
"You know. This is why I look like this," she told Ares with a more sturdy voice now. "After I escaped and Ephraim saved me, I spent so many hours washing myself. We were on a ship, so luckily I was surrounded by water, but it was salty, and the wounds from scrubbing would sting. I washed and I washed, hoping to shed my skin, and when nothing changed, I cut my hair, changed my style, tried to appear as a man as much as I could, and I would flinch every time a man's gaze lingered on me a little longer. I… hated being a woman. I hated my body."
Malachi's tears streamed down his face. Everything she said was what his sister did after … what had happened. She hated being in her body. She couldn't bear it.
"Don't tell Ravina." He heard her say.
"You have to tell her at some point. You can't hide this forever." Ares told her.
The pain in Malachi's chest cut deep, knowing that Darcy had gone through a similar experience and knowing that Ravina would also have to bear this pain with her sister. He took himself away from the hall, knowing if he heard any more details, he would break. Once he went out on the other side, his breath was already labored. His hands were trembling. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but the tears on his face had dried.
Once he could move, he shifted and returned home, shutting off all feelings so he could function for a while. He couldn't afford to be slow now. He had promised himself he wouldn't give up no matter what. He owed it to all the ones he hurt and the ones who believed in him despite everything.
When he was back home, he made his way to the courthouse. All of his brothers were there except for Kenan, whom he had thrown out of court because he refused to comply.
"Good that you are here," Malachi began trying to keep his voice steady. He looked at Saul who watched him with narrowed eyes. "I will need to be away for a while."
"Why?" Saul asked.
"Something has happened, and I need to be with Ravina for a while."
"What happened?" Aaron wondered with worry.
Malachi didn't want to explain, so he said, "Nothing serious."
"Nothing serious, but you have started a change in court, and you are leaving to be with her. What is wrong with you?" Saul asked. "I am getting tired of this. I can't do this anymore." He muttered under his breath.
Malachi tried not to get angry and took a deep breath, ignoring the burning in his chest. "I really need your help right now. Can't you just stand by my side?"
Saul suddenly hit his fist on the table, causing the wood to crack. Joel and Aaron's eyes widened, startled by his sudden outrage.
Saul looked up slowly, his eyes burning. "I am trying Malachi but you can't see." He spoke between clenched teeth. "I have been following your breedmate like a puppet for the past two days. What else do you want me to do?"
"I did not send you to follow her around."
"Yes, you did! Don't tell me you sent me because you actually believe I would make a change! You don't even trust me anymore."
"That is not true," Malachi said.
Saul nodded slowly, his eyes holding the same pain as his. "You don't sound convincing brother. She has become your everything and I know that feeling but I have lost my everything and she is a daily reminder of that."
Malachi took another deep breath, afraid to say something that would hurt them both. "She has done nothing. She wasn't even Amal's age when all of it happened. She was only sixteen then. Remember when Amal was sixteen? She was a child."
"I know what a child is. I lost one!"
"Then stop blaming others!" Malachi finally snapped. "I know it is hard to accept but both you and I know perfectly well that what happened is our fault mostly. WE are to blame! WE were the enemy but they paid the ultimate price."
As the words left Malachi's mouth, the weight of their truth hung heavily in the air, filling the room with a palpable tension. Both brothers stared at each other, their faces etched with pain, loss, and the burden of guilt they had carried for so long. The grief in their eyes was a mirror, reflecting the deep wounds that had been inflicted upon them and their loved ones.
Saul's expression faltered, his anger giving way to a raw vulnerability. The memory of his lost child and the part he played in the tragedy seemed to crush him from within. For a moment, he looked like he might crumble entirely, but he managed to hold himself together, his jaw tightening as he tried to keep his emotions in check.
Malachi, too, struggled with the ghosts of his past, his heart aching for his brother and the pain they shared. The grief and guilt he had buried for so long threatened to overwhelm him, and he had to force himself to breathe, to remain standing.
"Let's stop this now." Malachi pleaded. "We have used their victimhood to oppress, to be angry, to destroy when we created those circumstances. We stopped with such difficulty and father is no more yet we continued down the same path. There are so many of you and me out there and they live with the loss that we have caused. How many Amals and how many wives and children were lost? Isn't that what we wanted to stop?"
Saul looked at Malachi, his eyes filled with anguish. Malachi knew how hard it was to accept. Anger was easier than sadness.
"We can't bring them back," Malachi said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "But we can honor their memory by doing everything in our power to make sure that no more innocent lives are lost because of our actions."
Saul's body visibly tensed as Malachi spoke, the pain in his brother's words hitting him hard. His fists clenched tightly on the table, knuckles turning white as he tried to contain the storm of emotions inside him. The veins in his neck and arms seemed to bulge, almost as if they were on the verge of bursting.
His eyes, once filled with rage, were now brimming with tears that threatened to spill over at any moment. The raw pain etched into every line of his face was heart-wrenching for Malachi to watch.
He could no longer bear to witness his brother's torment and he knew that staying would only prolong their shared agony. They both needed time to process this.
With a heavy heart, Malachi averted his gaze from Saul's tear-filled eyes and walked away.
As Malachi stepped outside, he was greeted by warm, gentle sunlight that seemed to envelop him in a comforting embrace. The sky above was a vibrant blue, dotted with soft, white clouds that drifted lazily by, and a light breeze carried the sweet scent of blooming flowers.
Suddenly, delicate strands of dandelion seeds floated in front of him, dancing gracefully on the breeze. Malachi turned to see where they came from and found Chanan standing nearby, blowing dandelions into the air with a serene smile on his face.
As their eyes met, Chanan offered him a gentle smile. "In the face of adversity, remember that the strongest trees are often those that have weathered the fiercest storms. Find strength in your struggle, and you shall emerge more resilient than ever before."
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